In this screwed up world, Sehun could only looked at the broken Luhan but yet unable to do anything to help to ease the pain. The doe eyed male had scars on his arms, scars which he had purposefully put there because he couldn’t take the pain in his heart.

It had been a week since they received news of Jongin’s death and Luhan had been in a dreamlike state since then. He was physically here but yet Sehun couldn’t see him, it felt as though Luhan was going to slip past his fingers anytime.

Luhan got up and walked woodenly to the window before sitting down as he placed his head on the glass. His eyes were dull and Sehun was scared, he was losing Luhan a little by little. No matter how much he talked to the male, Luhan only looked at him blankly before turning away.

He much rather that Luhan cried his eyes out or even take out his anger or anything on him. Anything was much better than this living doll who looked so fragile that just one push and he will be broken in pieces.

The rest of them had been upset over Jongin’s passing and Sehun particularly hated how selfish his best friend could be at times. He had been conflicted since the start when Jongin told him about his illness and how he had made Sehun swear that he won’t tell Luhan.

Jongin didn’t want to see the sadness on Luhan’s face, he didn’t want to be a burden to Luhan. Sehun understood that all too well but that didn’t mean that Jongin made the right decision. But no matter how much Sehun tried to reason with him, Jongin didn’t budge. He stayed firm with his decision.

So Jongin set up an elaborate plan of letting Luhan seeing him with another male, letting Luhan think that he was cheating when in fact, he wasn’t. Luhan had raged at him, he had begged and he had cried as he asked for a reason from Jongin. But Jongin simply told Luhan that he was tired of him and he wanted to break off their relationship. After which, Sehun had accompanied Jongin as he drank himself into oblivion. The very next morning, Jongin sneaked off while Sehun was still sleeping.

Sehun knew then that Jongin would never returned and a month passed when he received a letter from Jongin. By the time he rushed to the hospital that Jongin was in, he was too late and Sehun had never felt more helpless in his entire life.

When the news hit Luhan, the male had looked lost when the light finally dawned onto him. The cheating, the breaking up and – everything made sense and his legs gave way as he fell onto the floor. Luhan had looked up at Sehun, his eyes pleading with Sehun to tell him that this was all a joke.

“I am sorry,” Sehun’s voice broke and Luhan brought his hands up to his eyes as he cried. The tears continued to fall but Luhan never made a sound, this was the sort of crying that comes straight from the heart.

There was no sound but yet each tear drop appeared to be Luhan breaking on the inside. Since then, Luhan had stayed in this state, nothing interest him anymore and he would simply wandered around his house. There were times when he would flip through the photo albums, trying to find traces of Jongin.

Luhan surrounded himself with the memories of Jongin, he was stuck with no way of getting out and Sehun’s heart ached because he had made a promise to look after Luhan for Jongin. Sehun sighed as he knocked onto Luhan’s door but there wasn't anyone answering the door.

Feeling that something was amiss, he pushed the door open and there wasn’t any sight of Luhan in the living room. Sehun headed to Luhan’s bedroom but still there wasn’t anyone when he finally headed to the toilet. Pushing the door open, he saw Luhan in the bathtub and the water was red. Sehun took away from the penknife from Luhan before gathering him in his arms.

“I am sorry, I am sorry.” Sehun told him over and over again. Luhan raised his shaky arms up as he returned the hug. His mask cracked and the tears started to slip down his face as he listened to Sehun’s apologies.

The room was only filled with Sehun’s apologies and Luhan’s silent sobbing. Both of them mourning the loss of a person who meant dearly to them. 

*an:this is inspired by teentop's missing which is a really good song! and yes, i am still going to write about hunhan so no worries there. let's us all continue to support EXO and wish Luhan the best in what he chose to do. 

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