[in which luhan goes back to five years ago]

Two weeks had passed since Luhan woke up and found himself returning back to the past. For one reason or another, he returned back to when he was still seventeen. Travelling back in time had been a myth to many and Luhan was a practical person who didn't really believe in such phenomenon, what he didn’t expect was for this to happen to him.

Many times, people always bemoaned about wanting to go back in time to correct a certain mistake but Luhan didn’t have a mistake that he wanted to correct. His life had been bland, a routine that kept repeating itself. No, he actually did have something that he wanted to avoid or rather that one specific person he wished he didn’t meet.

In his previous life, he met Kris when he was eighteen. Being young and naïve, he was taken in by Kris’s good looks and charms. It didn’t take long for him to fall head over heels in love with the man. Luhan had given him his heart only for Kris to tell him that no matter how hard he tried, he won’t have a place for Luhan in his heart.

Kris had someone else in his heart and their relationship was probably doomed right at the start but Luhan was too stubborn to see it. So he stuck to Kris only for the man to abandon him when the person he had been missing returned.

That was a slap to Luhan’s face, a wake-up call and Luhan had never felt more pathetic. He knew that Kris loved someone else but he thought that if he tried his hardest, gave him his heart then maybe he could move the man.

But all those effort were in vain because Kris never forgotten about the love of his life and now that he thought about it, Luhan must had looked like a joke to Kris. Therefore, in this lifetime, he made the decision to stay away from Kris.

Called him stupid then, he was already too tired to go after Kris again. If those five years didn’t manage to move Kris then he most probably won’t be able to move Kris at all. Luhan knew that giving up was inevitable and he will it this time no matter how much he didn't want to. He wasted a lifetime already, he didn't want to waste this lifetime for a man who will never love him the way he should be loved. 

In Luhan’s memory, there was the existence of Oh Sehun. This name belonged to a person who Luhan held close to his heart. Sehun was his childhood friend before he moved oversea at the age of fourteen.

It was when Luhan was sixteen when Sehun came back for a visit. Sehun had called him on the day that he was back and it was on the way when Sehun got involved in a car accident. That accident took Sehun away from Luhan and for the longest time, Luhan fell into a depression.

He remembered locking himself in the room as he poured over the photographs, wishing that Sehun was here. Sehun had been his protector, the shoulder that he could lean on when he was tired and he was the one person who understood Luhan. It was the same for Luhan, he understood Sehun better than anyone. 

Because their mothers were close friends with each other, Luhan and Sehun grew up together until Sehun moved away. But that didn’t stop them from contacting each other, the messages and the calls didn’t stop.

Flipping through his calendar, he realised that today was the day that Sehun will be back. Dressing hurriedly, he made his way to the airport. He still had time to change what will happen after. In this lifetime, he wanted Sehun to avoid that accident that will end his life.

Once he was at the airport, he checked Sehun’s flight when he realised that he couldn’t remember the flight number. Taking out his phone, he dialled Sehun’s number. It didn’t go through and he continued to dial his number again and again. 

His hands turned clammy, it couldn’t be that he was too late again, right? No, he refused to believe that. He had the chance to correct something so no, he refused to let this chance go. Looking around fanatically, Luhan searched for Sehun. 

“Luhan!” He heard someone shouting his name. Turning back slowly for fear that this was probably just a dream, Luhan’s heart sped up when he saw the smiling male. He bit down on his bottom lip, he wasn’t too late.

Sehun was alive and well, standing in front of him. Sehun was smiling at him, his eyes turning into those cute litte crescent moons. Sehun was here and Luhan ran toward him, throwing himself in his arms. “You are here, you are still here.”

“Of course, I am here. Where else would I be?” Sehun patted Luhan’s back, unable to understand Luhan’s reaction. “Are you okay?”

“No. For the longest period of time, I wasn’t okay.” Luhan told him. In his previous life, the void that Sehun left behind was never filled. Not even when he was in love with Kris, that wasn’t able to fill Luhan’s heart as well. “But I am okay now.”

“Crybaby,” Sehun as he brushed Luhan’s tears away gently. “You are getting far too old to cry.”

If only Sehun knew how he had lived his previous life, if only he knew how Luhan stopped crying after his funeral because he realised no one was going to comfort him. Why cry when there won’t be someone to comfort you?

It will only make you even more pathetic and made you realise how truly alone you were. Therefore, Luhan hadn’t cried until now. Tightening his hold on Sehun, he could smell the slight citrus-y smell and felt his heartbeat beating strong.

Maybe, coming back in time wasn’t to avoid Kris. Without going through Kris, he won’t know what he had been missing and the reason why he felt his life was so bland. His previous lifetime was a lesson learnt. All along, he had Sehun in his heart as well but perhaps, for someone like the both of them who wasn't able to move on, it was a given that nothing will ever come out of their relationship.

Luhan said that he loved Kris but he realised now that he didn’t. Kris was a lifebuoy he clung on because he couldn’t bear the loss of Sehun.

Looking at Sehun with his head on his lap, Luhan carded through his hair gently. He found the meaning and the purpose for returning back in time. His purpose was to cherish this male, to love him and finally, be loved the way he should deserve. 

Bending down slightly, he placed a kiss on Sehun’s lips. “Have I ever told you that I have been in love with you for the longest time?”

“No, you didn’t but I know now because I have been in love with you for the longest time as well.” Reaching up, Sehun pull Luhan down for another kiss. “This is something that I have wanted to do since forever.”

Back in time, when there is still you. This time, let’s spend the rest of our life with our fingers tightly entwined together. 

*an: a heartwarming short oneshot for all of my dearest reader in celebration of sehun's birthday. finally, a oneshot that has a ending instead of letting it hanging. hope that you guys like this. and sehun with black hair in black suit for that performance of exodus is just overwhelming hot. all comments, upvotes and subscription are welcomed and appreciated. 

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