Dara is looking intently to the frustrated Seungri right now. They’re now at the student council office- his office- and he’s ranting and babbling about Chaerins’ fiasco awhile ago.  By the look her cousin is portraying, she can see how frustrated Seungri is and she can’t help it but shrug.

“She’s… she’s crazy! Why did she do that?” Dara sighed and pulled herself up and walked-away. “Where are you going young lady?” Seungri asked when he saw Dara is walking away from him. He’s not even finished ranting.

“I’ll leave you for you to grasp your senses. Seungri, what you did is not right. Why did you give Chaering persona non grata? You’re just over-reacting and plain annoying!”

“I’m not the one whose over-reacting here Dara, Chaering is the real one who’s over-reacting here! Can’t you see? What she did isn’t right. Why did she scold at you in front of many students? What is her motif? And why is she even mad because you’re on rank 4?”

Now that he mentioned it, Dara can’t help but suppress a sardonic smile. For her, this is her biggest downfall. She didn’t see herself in that position in the first place. And she knew herself that she answered the exams well. She can still remember that she only got 2 unsure answers.

Seungri, on the other hand, was taken aback to what he said. He can’t help it but feel pity towards Dara. He knew from this very moment, everything will change.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I know I’m just over-reacting knowing that—“

Dara tried her best not to sob but she can’t help it. Tears are slowly streaming down on her face. She immediately wiped it away. “It’s okay Seungri. W-well sometimes, we’re not always on top.” Though she’s saying that, she knew, to herself, that she’s not okay to that. The thing is, if her mom will know this, which she bet she will, will be disappointed or worse be mad at her. “I’m just afraid that mom will know about this.”

Seungri sighed and walked towards his cousin and slightly tapped her head. “I’m always here for you Dara and when things aren’t fine, you can count on me.”

Dara gave him a soft chuckle. “You know what, you’re not the Seungri I’ve known since little. Bossy yet protective Seungri.”

“Yeah, protective.”

“And bossy.”

“And oppa.”

Dara didn’t let Seungri talk for more. She wanted out- out of those pitiable look Seungri is giving her. Though she knew that Seungri wanted to express his deepest comfort to what happened, it seems like she doesn’t want any comfort from anyone. I wanted to be alone. Alone in grief. She thought.

This is her very first time- since middle school- to experience failure. She was always on top and having this kind of moment seems odd to her system. The feeling of being lifted up by the swing you’re ridding while laughing because of too much happiness then all of a sudden—Boom! The rope just cut into half. The fall is hard. Hard and painful.

She walked towards the school garden. She can’t go out of the school vicinity- even if she wanted to- since it’s still class hours and she knew that her bodyguards will notice her. She didn’t know how she walked towards the school garden without being noticed by other students. She knew she’s an item today. Once she got there, she gently sat down on the ground, embraces herself and immediately, silently, cried. Her system is trying to deny the fact that she’s not the top-performing student anymore. She faked it all: the entire smile, the shocked expression and even the joke she said towards Seungri.

She felt bad, really bad for herself. I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve this! The silent cry turned to sobs and Sandara cannot even forbid herself from sobbing. Lately, she knew that something changed. She’s not focused and everything seems different. She’s an organized and a type of person who focus more often compared to others. What had just happen?

The sun is bright but her emotions and rationale about life right now is not as bright as the sun. The more she fakes herself towards other people, the more she feels like she’s very pathetic. She wanted to cry yet she don’t want other people knew that she’s vulnerable.

“It’s just a bad day, not a bad life…” She slowly held her head as she heard someone spoke and saw Jiyong sitting in front of her. The way he looked at her—it was the first time she didn’t read a pitiable look from anyone. Jiyong leans forward and put the loose hair strands at the back of her ear without taking away their glances. “I’ve heard about it… and it’s quite sad.”

Then, she remembers the reason why she’s crying right now: that she’s not the top-performing student of the school that her mother will hate her now because of this and the person who’s in front of her right now is the same person who get the position she wanted and protected since middle school. I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve this! She ranted. Her lips tremble and her eyes immediately watered. She looked away to avoid eye-contact and control her sobs. Nobody should notice her; nobody should know why she’s crying.

She embrace herself once more and continued crying. “G-go away Ji-jiyong…” she mumbled. “I-I’m not in good condition right now.”

“And that’s the reason why I am here.” He mumbled. If other people will see this, they’ll thought that they’re somewhat a couple fighting over a petty thing. Jiyong didn’t plaster pity in his eyes. She doesn’t deserve someone else pity, she’s not pitiable. The situation is not pitiable.

“You’re here for what? To give pityt? Give symnpathy?” Dara mumbled sardonically. “For God’s sake don’t give me that one! I don’t deserve someone else pity!”

Jiyong sighed. “Life is full of frustrations Dara and I am not here to give you some pity. You don’t deserve that. I know you know that.” Jiyong tried to lift Daras’ head but she refused to it. Jiyong slowly and carefully lift Dara’s head and now, she didn’t resist. He examined her face: she’s beautiful and it saddens him how the sadness she felt right now tainted her beautiful face. “I am here to tell you that it’s just your first exams and it’s not the end of your life.”

“Easy to say than done, eh? You haven’t experience this kind of failure Jiyong so—“

“I’ve experience a lot of failures in life Dara at an early age.” Jiyong seriously said, without removing their eye contact.

But her being irrational right now, she didn’t mind his point. “Why are you even here? We haven’t even develop a strong friendship and now you’re here being a saint like goddamn knows why.” She blurted, without filtering her words. “You’re the top-performing student right now. Why are you bothering yourself to console my wounded ego? Yeah, I’m a loser. I loose over my own Noye.”

“You want to be hurt? Yeah, you are a loser. Everybody think that you’re a loser that you loose over a Noye and to be more hurtful, from your own Noye.” Jiyong said, without restraining himself. Even if he knew that Dara is just being irrational because she’s hurt right now, he can’t help it but be mean. “And I am not here to console your wounded ego ‘coz I am here to slap in your face that I am the top-performing student right now. I am not here to say that it’s just the first exam. I am not here to say that everything is not as ed-up as it is

I am not here to say that I am willing to listen to your dilemmas. And I am not here as Kwon Jiyong, your Noye and your friend.”

Both of them went to silent. Jiyong, still looking at her, was happy because he let the anger out of his system. Though it’s not good since ranting towards Dara won’t give her any good. He must understand that she’s just sad about her school standing. Meanwhile Dara was silently crying in front of him. She doesn’t want to see Jiyong right now and yet, he’s here.

Both of them were staring with each other’s eyes. Jiyong sighed and went closer towards Dara and silently, wiped away the tears on her cheeks. For him, those tears must not taint her beautiful face. He cupped her face and looked her in the eye, “You can grieve for now Dara but you must remember that this is just a stumbling block in your life. We’re young and this failure is just the first failure you will experience in life because in reality, life is really unfair. You will experience failure and being ed-up. You’re not exempted to failure…”

“I hate failure. I hate failure.” She mumbled like it’s a form of mantra. “I hate failure, mom won’t accept it. Sh-she’ll be mad at me and… and she’ll hate me. She wont accept me and—“

“Hush Sandara Park…”

Both of them were shocked: Jiyong being shocked because he’s hugging Dara tightly and Dara being shocked because she was being hugged by someone she barely knew. Though she was being hugged by Seungri and Donghae, it’s not the same feeling when Jiyong is hugger her. The hug Jiyong is giving her right now is a hug that is promising and at the same time, consoling.

“Trust me, this is not the first failure you will experience but I promise you one thing, I’m always here even if you’ll push me away. That-that’s what friends for right?”

3 hours later, Dara woke up. She smelled a very alluring smell near her making her went closer to that smell. She can feel that her position is not right. She slowly opened her eyes and shock to what she saw. She was with Jiyong the whole time and she’s panicking right now because they’re sleeping together. Oh holy Lord! Oh holy Lord! Jiyong is clasping her hands with his soft hands while his other free hand is slowly, rubbing her hair for her to sleep well. And they’re not just sleeping because she’s sleeping at his arms!

Now that she’s not being crazy, she realized that what she told Jiyong awhile ago is not right. Saying those things is not right most especially to someone who just extended his comfort. Idiot! Idiot!

She stares at bare-faced Jiyong, who’s sleeping right now. The way their body positioned, it’s very amusing how she become comfortable to it. Sleeping with someone else is… odd.  She saw how beautiful Kwon Jiyong is. She touched his hair. It’s so soft. She thinks that she’s lucky to touch it. His face is white and she cannot restrain herself from touching his perfect eyebrows, his tiny lng nose and his cute ears. She giggled for awhile and then, stopped. She carefully pinches his cheeks, Oh god of Potatoes! It’s fluffy! She thought. Her smile widened then, turned to a grin. She touched his eyes and smile, Those eyes that bares an unexplainable expression at day 1!

Jiyong momentarily moved, making her lean closer to him for more. They’re now so close and she can’t help it but gasp. I think this is not right, she thought. But seeing Jiyong asleep and waking him up is like a crime.

“Hey, Ji-jiyong…” she said, in a hoarse voice, trying to wake him up. “I think we better go…”

Jiyong moved then opened his eyes. “Hey. Hi.”

“Hi.” She responded and forms a smile. “We should get going. We ditch our class for this so…”

“Ah, yeah.”

But none of them moved, as if they’re satisfied to their position.

“I think we should go.” Jiyong stated, lifting both their body and sit. “I-I’m sorry if you woke up with that kind of position.”

“No… it’s-it’s fine.” She stated. “I should be the one to say sorry because of my attitude awhile ago.”

Jiyong suppress a smile. “You’re hurt and I understand that. The words you said weren’t intentional because you’re just blinded with anger and sadness so, no apologies.”

They slowly walk with a little distance. She wanted to say sorry again but she restrained herself.  It’s not as if she’s being y but she thinks that he was right and she learns her lesson: never ever say words when you’re sad or angry. And I regret it now why I told him those words…

They’re now heading towards the hallway 12- the intersection between building A, the building of class A, and Nobi Society building, the building of Jiyong. Both of them, unconsciously slows down their steps making it tiny little by little. They don’t have an idea that they’re doing it.

Dara, who’s walking beside Jiyong slightly, touched his hands. And its… odd. She felt her hand got sting. She looked at Jiyong, who has no idea to what she felt.

“So, we’re here..” Jiyong stated making her look at the hallway bridge.

“Y-Yeah…” she mumbled. “T-thank you for your I-don’t-know-what-you-called-that fiasco awhile ago and I’m so sorry because of the words I said.”

Jiyong lean closer and tap her head. “No problem, master Dara.”

Dara slowly walked away. What he did is really… odd. And how the hell did he find her? How the hell did he knew that--- yeah, bulletin board! She can’t help it but suppress a smile. Though she’s not the top-performing student as of now, she’s eager to get back that position. I hope Jiyong wouldn’t mind. She thought.

She scans her badge on their entrance scanner and walked in.

“Dara! Dara! Sandara Park!”

She stopped and saw Jiyong walking—no, running towards her. She gave him a questioning look. “Jiyong.” Panting, Jiyong holds Sandaras’ hands. There’s a barrier between them: the entrance scanner. “W-what are you doing?” Jiyong whispered something on her palms and blew it. “H-hey…”

“That’s a spell. Erase, erase. Booo, yaaah!” Jiyong chanted, while running away. When he’s a little bit far from her, but not that far for her not to hear his words, Jiyong waved and shout. “That’s a spell.”

Smiling, Dara put both her hands at the side of and shout. “E-eh? What spell?”

“A spell to erase hurtful thoughts. Erase the sad one Dara and retain happy thoughts.”

Sandara, still in shock, shook her head while smiling. “Yeah..”

“Yeah…”

“It’s just a bad day, not a bad life…” Dara mumbled, while looking at Jiyongs’ figure slowly fading.

A/N: I MISS YOU GUYS! IT’S BEEN AWHILE. T0T

Our thesis is leading us to the right path and right now, I am proof-reading it- like a real editor. And probably, I can update as often as I want since my midterm exams were through – though it -BIGTIME!- and my final papers and defense is fast approaching. Therefore, more exposure to my computer meaning I can insert my “update time” feels. Hoho!

So, tell me about my update. I’m sorry if it’s lame and soooooo #drama but I think I’m on the right path since the description of my story has a DRAMA/ANGST theme. So, yehaa! GIVE ME SOME COMMENTS ‘COZ ‘M CRAVNG FOR IT! : )))))))))))))

-A.