Inner Turmoil

Apt. 34A

Winner's Lee Seunghoon to be absent from group's activities due to medical concerns

The statement had been posted on YG's official website and had reached the media within a few minutes once everyone got wind of what was going on. The other members had contacted me directly and even after I had told them that their was nothing seriously wrong with me and that YG just didn't want me around for awhile, they gave in. 

I shut my phone off and slid it back into the pocket of my sweater as I pulled my hat further down and adjusted the mask on my face.

The sun was just beginning to set as I sat down on the bench, the breeze ruffling my hair slightly underneath the cap and watched as couples walked through the park hand in hand. I crossed my legs underneath me and closed my eyes for a minute, letting my mind wander until I felt a figure stop in front of me and squinted one of my eyes open to look at up at the person.

"Hey,"

Her eyes were slightly tired but her face lit up when I pulled my mask down far enough to smile back and offer my hand to her as she took a seat next to me on the bench.

After my cryptic text message to meet me at the park at seven, it was nice to know that she would still come.

"You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you,"

Kyungmi rolled her eyes and brought our joined hands together to place in her lap while running her gaze over me. "Tell me what happened," she said softly. I sighed noisily and looked away from our hands toward the quiet waters that ran underneath the Banpo Bridge and the setting sun casting a faint glow across the water.

Birds flew low, brushing the tops of trees and skimming the surface before swooping over the bridge and going back up in flight toward the clouds.

A little girl chased after her mom who was running in circles around a tree while the toddler shrieked in joy and laughed until her cheeks were tainted a dark red.

"After I talked to you that day I dropped you off, I was so angry my head-there was so much going through my head and I couldn't even think straight," I felt her eyes on me in my peripheal and continued to stare ahead as her grip tightened.

"When I got back to the company building, I kind of just reacted and attacked one of the stylist noonas. I didn't even know what came over me, I just put two and two together and lunged at her and I don't know what would have happened if Jiyong-hyung hadn't pulled me away,"

I looked down at my lap and shook my head while sinking my teeth into my bottom lip. "I mean who-who does something like that you know? What kind of sane person just attacks someone like that? I can't-" my voice caught in my throat and Kyungmi let go of my hand so I could press the heel of my palms against my eyes.

Her hand rubbed circles in my back and with the other, squeezed my arm as I took a few deep breaths to calm me down. "Keep going,"

I didn't know if I wanted to keep talking but she deserved an explanation so I finally looked back up and turned to look at her.

"I had to meet with CEO Yang he looked so dissapointed and angry," I shook my head. "I thought right then and there he was going to kick me out, terminate my contract and send me packing. I was so scared and the fact that he was debating whether or not I would come back. He put me on a medical hiatus, I've never been so ashamed in my life,"

I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't want to cry again so I tried to blink the moisture away from the edge of my eyelashes but Kyungmi only guided my face to her shoulder as she held me and pressed our foreheads against each other.

I don't know how long we sat like that, how long we sat in silence, with her arms holding me and her breath lingering across my face. The sky had gotten much darker, stars beginning to scatter across the entire expanse until Kyungmi made me lift my head up so I could look at her.

"People do things and make mistakes all the time but that doesn't mean we have to beat ourselves up about it. Sure you had no reason to attack her like that, but like you said you weren't thinking and you acted out. What's happened has happened and now you're facing the consequences. You can't go back so we should only focus on moving forward arasso?"

I swallowed slightly and she ran her fingertips underneath the bottom of my eyes before touching the edge of my lips and pulled them up into a smile while grinning herself.

"Childish," I grinned.

Kyungmi shrugged and moved her hands to wrap around my neck before tugging me down so I could kiss her. When she sighed into my mouth, I felt her breathe, I tasted her skin, the moisture from her tongue and I closed my eyes while gripping tightly to her waist. If anything she was my rock, the one who seemed to almost always pull me out of something that I couldn't seem to get myself out of.

Our noses rubbed up against each other and I tilted my head to the side to deepen the kiss until she was pressing kisses against my bottom lip and finally pulling back with a wide smile on her face.

"Do you feel a little bit better now?"

"Yeah, now that I've told someone my chest feels lighter,"

She chuckled and rubbed the nape of my neck with her fingers before skimming them down my neck. "Good, so is that it or do you have more problems? Because if not I have work to do..." she trailed off casting her eyes downward.

I looked at her in shock and furrowed my eyebrows before she actually attempted to stand up on her feet so I shot my hand forward and grabbed her wrist, tugging her back down. "Yah are you seriously leaving?!"

"Well..."

"Kyungmi!" I frowned. 

She turned to face me with a smile until laughter was bubbling out of and she sat back down while lauhging behind her hand. I, however was not amused. 

"Not funny," I frowned. 

"Yeah it is," she giggled.
She craned her head to kiss my cheek and tangled our hands together though I was still frowning and leaned forward to kiss it away. 

By the fourth peck, I could feel my lips tugging upward.

By the fifth, I could feel myself smiling,

By the sixth, my laughter was matching hers.

"What else did you want to talk about then?"

I pulled back slightly and searched her eyes for a second before looking over her shoulder until she frowned and followed my gaze. "Seunghoon?"

From where we were sitting in the park, the bench had a direct view of the Banpo Bridge that connected Seocho and Yongsan above the Han River. Once the streetlights from the poles above , the pumps that were situated on either side of the bridge began to expel water, shooting out in a vast array of colors of purple, yellow, red, blue and pink, the LED lights creating a dazzling affect on the river.

Kyungmi gasped and I leaned forward just as her eyes widened and watched as she tried to look at everything, grasp everything all at once.

Other people had started to congregate along the park's edge with their phones and cameras pulled out so they could take pictures.

"That," I whsipered into her ear.

The lights from the water reflected off her eyes and I brushed back her hair that had fallen out of place, behind her ear.

 

Kyungmi's POV

After the light show, Seunghoon took me to get some sundae at a food cart across the street, but I still couldn't get the image of the Banpo Bridge out of my head, so I stole another glance at my phone where I had taken a picture of it.

"Again?" Seunghoon chuckled.

I pinched the arm that I was holding onto and he yelped before frowning, causing me to smile and rub his arm. "It was so beautiful. I've never seen anything like that,"

My eyes lingered on the photo for a little bit longer until I slid my phone back into my pocket and made a mental reminder to post it on my blog later. Seunghoon hummed and looked forward while we continued walking down the street. He had pulled the cap back over his head and the mask over his mouth along with his coat made us seem like a typical couple walking the streets, no one even giving us a second look.

I had finished my sundae by the second block so Seunghoon occasionally gave me his, popping pieces of sausage into my mouth before smiling down at me. After swallowing a piece, I laid my head against his shoulder while we walked through a shopping district with crowds of people converging in stores and girls looking at things from off the mannequin.

"Where are we headed?" he pulled down the face mask slightly.

"My uncle's," I replied back.

He didn't respond but his grasp in my hand was firm as he lead us through the streets before he got confused at the end of the street and stopped to think for a couple minutes casuing me to laugh and pull him along.

"I knew where I was going," he mummbled.

"Did you now?" I looked over my shoulder. He pulled a face and I smirked as we went down the steps into the subway station, waiting patiently at the side until the next train came.

A few minutes later when it arrived, the doors opened with a loud whoosh of air and groups of people shuffled out the doors before Seunghoon was pulling us against the opposite side in a corner while holding me close. 

After everyone boarded, the doors shut and the announcer said the next destination over the intercom before the train was taking off.

"Is your uncle home?"

My hands curled around his neck and we pressed ourselves closer than possible to each other, his breath touching the tips of my lip while his hands held tightly to the skin underneath my t-shirt. "No, he's working. He wanted to get lunch with me after class but I was meeting up with you,"

A light blush found its way up his neck and across both his cheeks causing me to chuckle and rub his nape again.

An hour later after reaching our stop, we went back up to the street to catch a bus that would take us on the other side of town. We settled comfortably in the seats along the back, behind three middle schoolers that were laughing at a video game they were playing on one of the boys phone.

By the time we were in the familiar district and stopping at the warehouse market that was a block away from the condo, Seunghoon lead the rest of the way until I was pressing the floor for the elevator and leading him down the hall to the room.

I jiggled the key in the knob, before pushing the door open and let my hands trail along the wall in the darkness before flipping the switch. It only took us a second to shed our shoes and coats before I was dumping my backpack down and bringing him to my room.

"This is really nice," he said quietly while looking around in awe.

I snorted. "My uncle has very ostentacious tastes and appreciates the finer things in life,"

"Yeah no kidding,"

I pushed the door to my room open and let Seunghoon walk in before me as I shut the door and turned the fan on. He only looked around at the things briefly, from what I had; which only consisted of all my cameras, a few photo frames, my suitcases and school supplies and a few misceallanious items.

It wasn't like I was going to be staying here and I planned on going back to my apartment at some point, just not right now.

"Are you doing okay?"

I blinked unsure of what he meant by that question and thought there were a lot of things that could have been categorized by what he meant by okay but just nodded in reply.

Was there still parts of me that couldn't exactly remember what happened that night? Yeah

Was I paranoid when I was left alone here or if my mind ever wondered back to my home? No doubt

Did I ever think of that person that had attacked me? Constantly

But right now things were okay, everything was okay. "I'm fine," and smiled at him in further reassurance.

He grinned back and plopped himself down on the edge of my bed while his hands gripped the material and scanned my room before he was looking my way again.

I undid the ponytail from my hair, shaking it out and running my fingers through while rearranging the things on my dresser before looking up and catching his eyes in the reflection.

"What?"

I turned around to lean back against the wood and he smirked at me before jutting his head backwards. "Come here,"

"Hmm. What's the magic word?"

He lifted the hat off of his head and set it next to the bedside lamp before doing the same with his mask.

"Please,"

I rolled my eyes playfully and with a dramatic sigh stood up and walked over to the side of my bed as he scooted back some to lean against the headboard and patted his lap.

Crawling up the side, I swung one of my legs over his own then sat down with my knees caging his waist as he settled both of his hands at the bottom of my spine. Even in this position, he was still a head taller than me, looking down into my eyes as I stared back equally just as hard until smiles graced both of our faces. 

"You're really weird you know that right?"

"You were questionable before I even met you,"

I laughed loudly and tried to cover it with my hand out of embarrassment but Seunghoon pulled my hand away before I got the chance with a gentle smile and a funny look in his eyes. 

"I love when you're like this,"

He leaned forward to kiss my forehead then laid his own against mine and kissed the tip of my nose. "Don't be embarrassed,"

I felt the blood rush to the tip of my ears and catch my neck in flames until I was curling my fingers tightly into the material of the comforter underneath us. 

"You always have to ruin everything,"

He pulled back to look at me and I couldn't help but blush when he laughed and pulled me closer towards him. "How did I ruin anything?"

"By being sappy," I mummbled. 

He put a finger underneath my chin and lifted it so I could look up at him. The dark color in his eyes were back with that same intense funny look from earlier and I gulped loudly as his hand secured the back of my neck and the other trailed up my side in an agonizingly slow manner. 

If he was going to say it he should have just came out and said it already.

It was clear we both had a deep emotional, physical and mental attraction with each other. It was clear that there was still an underlying thing in our relationship whether I loved him, whether he loved me. 

I wanted to wait for him, to be ready to say it but I also could have said it too. I could have very easily ushered the words from my lips. Many times when I wanted to but didn't, many times when I wasn't sure or was skeptical. Not of my feelings for him, not in the slightest but his reaction. 

My decision weighed heavily on what I was expecting to happen and what was not going to happen.

All that died in the pit of my stomach though when he kissed both of my eyelids and my eyebrows before trailing his lips down the slope of my nose to peck my lips. 

"Stop thinking so hard," he breathed against my lips.

I sighed out of relief and only partial dissapointment before grinning and giving him a small nod. "Sorry,"

"I missed you so much," he said. "So damn much,"

I pressed my face into the skin where his shoulder and neck meet, letting my nose nuzzle the cold skin and let out a smile when his hands traveled up my back through my shirt and presed into my skin.

"Me too,"

 

Seunghoon didn't mention anything about the kiss with Kimi.


Heyy guys! I didn't keep you waiting that long huh? How did you like this update? Is Seunghoon not telling her only going to hurt more in the long run or is it better off that way? Let me know in the comments! And some much needed physical contact between them finally lolol XD 

Don't forget to read, upvote, comment and subscribe. Happy Easter and love you!  

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please continue to wait for me. I am working on the update and trying to make it as best as possible for my readers!

Comments

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Rizazmiy #1
Chapter 38: Please continue your story authornim
ftmncls
#2
Chapter 7: that little Dara and Tabi moment tho hahaha
baekiebaek
#3
Chapter 38: hahaha make up that sounds hella nice :)) XD gosh seunghoon and omg her friend is so cute
baekiebaek
#4
Chapter 37: they are literally the cutest things ever ugh seunghoon
Minwo033 #5
Chapter 37: Yeay for the update!! This is one of my fav current fanfic that i like! Thank you for the update
MarchNoona #6
Chapter 36: Thanks so much for this fic. Is it done? I seriously love it. I'm really happy to see a Seunghoon fic. Baby lion <3
baekiebaek
#7
Chapter 35: I have never read any seunghoon bc it's always mino like thank u so much for this
baekiebaek
#8
Chapter 34: yES YESYES
baekiebaek
#9
Chapter 26: pls do so seunghoon
baekiebaek
#10
Chapter 24: just got crazy