"Check his vital signs!"

"Run a CBC exam!"

"Ready the O2 inhalation, regulated at 10 lpm!"

"10 units of epinephrine!"

The doctor continued to barked orders to the nurses as we all rushed Tae Min to the emergency room. I was holding his hand while we make it through the farthest room on the floor. I was pulled away from him when he was already inside. The nurse stopped me, "You can't come in ma'am." 

I looked at her, my heart full of anxiety and fear, "Just please, save him, please.." I begged. 

She gave me a sad smile, "We'll try ma'am." She said and went inside. 

I stood there, feeling useless, as I watched what they were doing to Tae Min. I couldn't see much, since the small opening on the door provides little range of visibility of the area. The only thing that was clear to me was Tae Min lying on bed, eyes close and with a face mask on his face. The nurses were charging the defribrillator. 

"Clear." The doctor said twice and put it over Tae Min's chest. I cried when his eyes remained close. 

I watched there, feeling so hopeless, I couldn't even do anything to save him. Why? Why did it have to be now? I haven't been even with him for a month and this was already happening? This was unfair, while I was in New York, I didn't even know the pain he was going through, this disease that was killing him.. slowly taking him away from me. "Dear God, I beg of you, not today.. please give me more time," I silently prayed. 

"YoonA?" 

I turned to look at my side, and Taecyeon was looking at me, with a worried and surprised look on his face. He rushed towards him, "What happened? Is it auntie? Uncle?" He asked alarmingly. 

I didn't answer, instead, I breakdown in front of him. The this I was holding back earlier, rolled one by one in front of Taecyeon. The feelings of fear and uneasiness shamelessly poured out of me. I couldn't take it anymore, the feelings I had brought a heavy hopeless feeling inside. Taecyeon didn't ask anymore, instead, he just hugged me there, knowing that it was what I needed the most at that time. He continously rubbed my back, tightening his arms around mine, whenever I seem to cry harder. 

"YoonA? What happened?" He asked again, when I was slightly calmed down to answer. 

"Tae Min.. Tae Min wouldn't wake up," I paused, as the new set of tears were going out again. That dreadful feeling I have when I saw him lifeless, when his heartbeats were slowly fading.. and when the reality of losing him hit me hard on the face, "Taecyeon.. I feel hopeless. I don't want to lose him yet Taecyeon, not now. I wouldn't know what to do.. I'm not ready yet.. not yet.." I wailed.

He looked at me, "You have to be strong, you need to be, for him, ne?" He hugged me more, "Be strong for him, arasso?"

I nodded. He was right, rather than subjecting myself into negativity, I need to be there for him. I'm sure Tae Min was feeling a lot worse than mine. So Taecyeon and I sat on the yellow plastic benches on the waiting room. We didn't speak much, and I know how he wanted to break the silence, but we both know I wasn't in the mood nor have the energy to speak or think. We patiently waited for the news to come. Every time someone comes out from the hall, we kept anticipating that it was for us, but only end up disappointed when they walk towards another family. That mere anticipation, did nothing but add up with my anxiety. 

"I'm going to get coffee, want one?" He asked. 

I nodded lifelessly. I gave me one last look and went to the cafeteria. A few minutes later, Taecyeon was holding two cups of coffee, but he was towing two people behind him. I didn't get to recognized them soon, but when they got closer, I recognized Hara's long black hair and Seung Hyun's lean figure. They both rushed to my side, leaving Taecyeon behind. 

"Unnie, are you okay?" Hara asked anxiously. 

I didn't answer, instead I just stared at their worried face, my thoughts wandering off to something else. I was feeling inert about this, I felt like I was inside my own nightmare, fighting off something the reality I didn't want to face as soon as I read the letter. I denied the fact that he might me leaving me sooner than I thought. Now that reality striked, my body couldn't take what destiny gave us. 

Hara shook my arms, "Unnie!" She said, and hugged me. Seung Hyun didn't waste time, instead he went over to Taecyeon asking him for the details. The whole time, the heavy atmosphere downed on us. We only moved whenever someone comes out from the hall. Hara made me rest on her shoulders, while I stared deeply into nothing.

After 5 hours, the doctor from before came out. I was the first one to stand and went towards him, asking him if Tae Min was okay.

"He's vital signs are already stablized, we had moved him in a room closer to the desk, to have a closer watch on him," he said professionally. "But, he's in coma." He said with sadness on his face. 

Rushing to the room, I opened the door and there he was. Lying peacefully on bed, the mask was still on his face, and the monitor was beeping annoyingly besides him, it's sound in sync with his breaths. I rushed to his side, holding his hand on my face. 

"Darling.. wake up, I'm here. Please? Open your eyes." But his unresponsiveness only made my heart sank to the bottom.