"So you didn't give it to her?" Seung Hyun asked.

It was the week after YoonA's performance. Seung Hyun kept bugging me about details on what happened that day. I frankly didn't want to tell anything about it, especially now that the memory's still fresh. Her lips touched that guys cheeks. I felt like my heart was stabbed a thousand times, and I still feel that way everytime I remember it. But after three days of "Please" and "I'm your buddy you should tell me these things" protests from him, I eventually gave in. 

"No, it slipped my mind, when that guy appeared."

"You should've just given it to her."

I shrugged. I was already sad and jealous about all these things that happen, and now Seung Hyun's making me feel regretful for the present. I don't have enough emotional capacity for these. I sighed. But maybe not giving it to her is for the best, since who would even want to to accept that cheap present, and her parents, or rather her appa, obviously doesn't like me, so seeing their daughter receive that would only make them more digusted by me. 

"Is she going out with him or not?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said dismissively. Now I'm starting to feel regretful for even telling him everything. This is just one thing that I didn't want us to talk about. Seeing that guy makes me feel inferior over him. Seeing that guy just makes see what type of guy YoonA likes, and it makes me pity myself more.

"You know what's your problem? You surrender from a battle when it hasn't even started yet." He retorted.

"Why fight a losing battle? It's suicide." Emotional suicide.

"Who said you already loss?"

"I do. SO ENOUGH." I raised my voice a little. 

He didn't answer. We were hanging in the corridors in front of our room. It was weird that Hara didn't come for lunch today, but I'm thankful she didn't. If she had been here, she'll see what a mess I am, and from that recent agruement I has with Seung Hyun, I know she'll side with him. And I'm not ready to here whatever truth that comes out from . When the bell rang, we walked towards our room and into our seats.

"I still think you should confess to her." He said, at the same time the teacher walks in. 

Isn't that what I've been trying to do ever since? This was the first time I've ever feel this way, of course I want to confess to her, but how can I when unfortunately, the girl you're in love with is with a guy that suits her a lot better than you. When that girl's parents think that you're a peasant who doesn't deserve their little princess. Seung Hyun wasn't right about me, I fight my battles, I just know when to surrender when I already know that my fate is ugly. Like I said, suicide. 

When the bell rang, I stood up and accidentally tripped on Seung Hyun. 

"Dude, you're hot, are you okay?" He asked anxiously.

"No, I've been feeling a little off ever since the class started." I answered. Well, I was, my headache worsened, I was feeling a little chilly and I've been sneezing a lot.

"Okay let's just hurry home." 

On our way to the gates, I caught a glimpsed of YoonA. I instictively hid behind Seung Hyun. I wasn't ready to face her yet, especially now that my feelings got just dumped in the trash. 

When we got home -since Seung Hyun came with me- he immediately went to the kitchen, and after a few minutes out came my mom holding the medicine kit and Seung Hyun following her. 

"You're still burning." Seung Hyun said, asked he placed the back of his hand on my forehead.

"Are you okay honey?" Umma asked worriedly.

I nodded mechanically.

"Are you sure?" Seung Hyun asked.

"Ne."

"Are you sure this isn't-?" 

"No." I cut my mom. "I'm okay, you guys are just over reacting. After a good rest, I'll be as good as new tomorrow." I said cheerfully.

They still weren't convinced, instead they were still looking at me, like I'm gonna faint anytime soon.

"Seriously guys, after I take some meds and rest, I'm gonna be okay."

"If you say so honey." My umma sighed, then she gave me a glass of water then medicines.

"See you tomorrow dude." I said to Seung Hyun, then I stood up and left them behind.

As soon as I entered my room I got out of my uniform and changed into my regular clothes. I laid on my bed and went straight to sleep. I think I slept like a baby, since I never even woke up for dinner, and when I opened my eyes, the sun was already up, I looked at the time and it was already 8. I wanted to go to sleep again, but due to my hunger, I decided to get some breakfast. When I entered the kitchen, I saw my mom doing the dishes.

She turned to looked at me with her warm eyes, "How are you feeling honey?"

"Better, but hungry." I said, as soon as my stomach growled.

She laughed, and served me some eggs and toast. My taste was still a little off, but it didn't bother me a lot since I was just wanted to devour everything that was on the plate. After finishing the juice she gave me, I gave her the dishes and excused myself.

"I still need a little sleep umma." I said.

She nodded and told me that she'd just cook me some lunch later, if ever I wake up. 

I went to my room, and went to bed. I turned and l saw the little pink box I have for YoonA. It was the gift that I was supposed to give her. I sighed, now it'll just rot here in my room or.. maybe I'll just give it to my noona. She may like it, girls do like those kind of stuff. I felt a little sad when I remember that day again, how it hurt when I saw those, how unfortunate it was that I can never give it to her. I yawned and felt my eyes dropping a little. So unfornate YoonA.. I yawned again.. then my eyes closed, leaving her face as the last one I saw. 

Then I heard a melody. It was a sweet tune. I think it sounds familiar, I think I heard it from somewhere before, I think it's.. I woke up in an instant. I look at my curtains and it was still bright, I looked at my clock, and it was still 2 in the afternoon. I looked around, everything was normal, and I was still in my room, but something was different, the tune I heard from my dream was still playing. I sat up urgently, and I saw someone standing in front of my desk. She was wearing our school uniform, and had the long curly brown hair. My heart started to race, and I think I already know who she is.

She turned around, and gave me the same smile she was giving me even before. The same sweet innocent smile.

"You're already awake." She said.

"What are you doing here?" I told her coldly

"I heard you were sick, so I came to visit, why what's wrong?" She asked nervously.

I looked at my desk. I saw the pinx box, already opened. Where it stood was the antique music box I got for her. She opened her gift. I stood up and closed the music box. "What did you open this?" I asked angrily. 

"I'm sorry, it had my name on it, so I thought it was okay to open it." She said apologetically.

"Tsk. Just get out. Get out. You're not supposed to be in here. You're not supposed to in here rummaging into my things." I pushed her outside my room and immediately closed the door in her face. I leaned on the door, and burried my face on my hands. 

"I'm sorry, I know it was bad to open it. I'm sorry. I came to check up on you, and to apologize fo whatever happened. Ever since the competition you've been avoiding me, and I felt a little sad, so I came, now I just made you angrier. I'm sorry, forgive me, I don't wanna lose a friend like you." Her voice was cracked, I know she was trying not to cry. I heard her muffled sounds from the other side, she stayed like that for a few minutes until I heard her steps descending the stairs. 

What was I doing? Why did I even get angry at her? What was wrong with me? Didn't I dream of this before? Didn't I want her to voluntarily come to me, like what I dreamt for her to do? Don't I still love her, until now?

I ran to the stairs, I ran so fast, I hurriedly opened our gates. When I was at the end of our streets I keep looking left and right, until I saw her, I ran towards, please please, I hope I can catch up to her. 

"Noona! Noona wait!" I screamed.

She stopped. When she did, I walked towards her, panting. 

This was it, this was the chance I've been waiting for. I need to tell now, before I even lose the guts of telling what I really feel for her. 

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't do that, I was just a bit shock when I saw you in my room."

I was panting, my headache even got worse, but I didn't even care about it since I need to tell her now. I want to tell her now.

"But that's not what I chased you for." I took a deep breath. "I don't wanna lose you too, but instead, I want you more. I want you to be.." What am I doing? Do I even have to be scared now. She turned and looked at me. She had tears in her eyes, her nose were even red. I cupped her face, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I want to be the one you shed your tears for, not the sad ones, but the happy ones. I want to be the only one, that can see that smile of yours, I wanna be the one you share your dreams with, the one who can share your thoughts with.. I wanna be... I guess what I'm saying is.. Saranghae noona."