Chapter 7: Pain On The Inside Hurts More

Youngmin doesn’t know how long it’s been since the boys left. He’s lying on the ground, too scared to touch his own stomach.

Youngmin

He isn’t sure if the reassuring scream is only in his head or if someone is really looking for him. Only after hearing the quick steps in the hallway he knows that he’s found.

‘Youngmin! What happened to you? I heard from Hyunseong you went to talk about his transfer.’

Youngmin yelps when Donghyun grabs his shoulder. Donghyun immediately pulls his hand back. ‘Did they beat you up?!’

Youngmin can’t even nod and decides to just smile faintly. Donghyun’s eyes turn harsh and dark. ‘Motherers.’ He curses. ‘I’ll help you up. We’ll take a taxi to the hospital. No complaining. This is serious.’

This is why Donghyun is Youngmin’s friend. He knows what’s going on without Youngmin saying anything and he takes care of him like no other hyung would. A lot of times that Youngmin was beat up for fun by the council members Donghyun would find out sooner or later and help him with his treatment. It’s not always as serious as today. Most of the times he’s lucky and only has a blue eye and some other bruises.

Donghyun helps him up slowly and then turns his back towards him so Youngmin can get on.

~

Kwangmin and Minwoo are dancing in the practice room. Kwangmin can’t really focus. He’s pretty much relieved. Jeongmin got a call from Hyunseong and president Hyunyoung got a call about his transfer.

It was very sudden but he couldn’t help smiling when seeing Jeongmin, almost crying from happiness and relief. He can’t deny how glad he is. Even though his and Minwoo’s signature collecting didn’t get a positive response, at least Jeongmin was happy and that was more than satisfying for Kwangmin.

Jeongmin had always been on Kwangmin and Minwoo’s side and that’s why both were glad they had been able to do something back for their reliable hyung.

Kwangmin is pulled out of his thoughts by a loud thump and a pained scream. When he turns around he sees Minwoo and two other guys lying on the ground. Kwangmin immediately sees Minwoo hit his head against the stone wall and the back of his head is bleeding.

‘O my god Minwoo! We have to take you to the hospital!’ He shouts. Minwoo touches his head and when he looks at his hand he is shocked by the blood on it. ‘Well, it’s obvious why that hurt.’ He says with a grin. Kwangmin rolls his eyes. ‘I’ll call a taxi.’

~

After Youngmin’s wounds are treated Donghyun leaves him to take care of the bill. Normally Youngmin would pay but he didn’t have any money on him. When Donghyun had found him they went straight to the hospital so that’s why he was without a wallet.

Youngmin looks on his watch. It’s already past ten. The hospital halls are mostly empty. Once in a while a doctor or nurse passes him in a hurry. There are few, actually no patients to be seen.

Then one door opens and Youngmin is surprised when he sees Kwangmin walking out. Like a miracle their eyes meet in less than 5 seconds and Kwangmin is in front of him.

‘Hyung! You are covered in bandages! Are you alright?’ Kwangmin asks worried. Youngmin realizes he’s not breathing and quickly lets out a big sigh.

Kwangmin’s expression immediately turns sad. ‘Can I not even worry about you? Do you hate me that much?’

Youngmin can’t say a word. He can’t believe it. How can this even happen? How can he appear in front of me? I feel so bad for him but he only cares about my feelings. That idiot.

‘You look terrible. It’s good you came to the hospital. Thank you for trying by the way. I heard from Hyunseong hyung that you gave my signatures to the president.’ Kwangmin says. How did he know? I didn’t tell anyone about that though…

‘He’s also transferring. I’m saying this because I think you know. He called Jeongmin and at the same time our president got a call that he is transferring to our school. Jeongmin was better so I went to the dance room and…’ – Youngmin’s eyes widen and he immediately gets up. ‘Did you hurt yourself while dancing? Are you alright?!’ He asks. He inspects Kwangmin’s body. Kwangmin immediately bursts into laughter. ‘No hyung, it’s not like that. What happened was-‘

‘YOUNGMIN YOU EVIL DONGSAENG!’ Donghyun interrupts running into the hall. ‘I can’t believe I paid that much for such a weakling like you!’ He shouts playfully. He only recognizes Kwangmin after standing in front of the two and quickly averts his eyes. He mutters an apology.

‘But, why are you here?’ Youngmin asks.

‘Ah. Minwoo hit his head against the stone wall and got treated just now. He only needs some stitches. It happened to me before, it’s really nothing.’ He says, smiling in a way that causes Youngmin’s mind to go blank and make his heart race faster.

‘Minnie?’ Donghyun asks. The twins give him a surprised look and Donghyun quickly shifts his eyes away. ‘I mean…’

‘DONGHYUN HYUNG?!’ The three of them turn towards where the scream comes from and before they know it Minwoo is walking at a scary speed towards them. ‘Donghyun hyung it’s really you! What are you doing here?!’

‘Just came with mister grumpy right here.’ Donghyun says with a tone of amusement in his voice. He pats Youngmin on the head like a poor little puppy. Youngmin grabs his wrist and pushes the other of him. ‘Let go of me.’ He says. Before he knows it his cold ‘student council member voice’ has returned. It doesn’t impress the older one, as always.

‘You’re so harsh!’ He whines before taking him in a headlock and messing with his hair. Kwangmin lets out a surprised shriek. ‘Don’t hurt him!’ He shouts. Instead of screaming like a girl you could just punch him in the face Kwangmin. Youngmin thinks. Minwoo laughs so hard that he holds his stomach and tears appear in his eyes. ‘Hahaha…. I can’t …. Hahaha …. Look at his face!’ Minwoo laughs happily. This reaction seems to satisfy Donghyun and he lets go of Youngmin.

Youngmin can feel the heat that built up in his body from shame and he’s sure his face is as red as a tomato.

‘Hyung, are you alright?’ Kwangmin asks. Youngmin doesn’t answer. ‘Donghyun, let’s go home.’ He says. He suddenly realizes Donghyun isn’t listening to him, or actually, not even with him anymore. He’s already at the end of the hallway chatting with Minwoo who is jumping up and down on his feet from happiness while walking. Youngmin sighs.

‘Hyung.’ Kwangmin’s voice alarms him and he turns around to face him. Kwangmin’s mouth is formed into a straight line and his eyes look almost as serious as Youngmin’s. Almost.

~

Less than 10 minutes later the two of them are sitting in the café of the hospital. Donghyun and Minwoo went outside because Minwoo decided he needed some fresh air on the stitches in his head and of course Donghyun had to tag along.

Youngmin takes a sip of his coffee. ‘What did you want to talk about?’ He asks. When he looks Kwangmin in the eye the other immediately averts his gaze to the table. Youngmin can’t help feeling hurt.

‘It’s just… I heard about the transfer and our president told me that you talked to president Sehyuk.’

‘I didn’t really talk to him. I just got sent away immediately.’ Youngmin admits. Now it’s his turn to avert his gaze when Kwangmin looks him in the eye.

‘Why did you do it?’Kwangmin asks. The confusion is clearly heard in his voice but there is another thing. Disappointment? Anger? 

‘I’m not completely heartless. I was touched by your hard work so I decided I should at least show that to you.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin’s sigh is so annoyed that Youngmin looks up and finally meets the other’s eyes.

‘Can’t you just not acknowledge me?’ Kwangmin asks. He looks mostly confused with an edge of sadness.

‘What are you saying?’ Youngmin asks.

‘This is really confusing.’ Kwangmin admits. When he realizes Youngmin doesn’t completely understands he explains: ‘At the café you acted like I was a pest in the eye and then you try to help me. How do I explain this… I feel like I’m a puppet and you hold the strings. You get what I mean?’ Kwangmin asks.

Youngmin stares at him blankly before nodding slowly. Kwangmin lets out a low groan.

~

‘Just say when you don’t.’ Sometimes he can’t believe he and this guy are blood related. ‘Everything you do or say has an effect on me.’

When you told me we were rivals I was very hurt. When you were flirting with that girl in the café I felt really annoyed. When I heard about the signs I couldn’t help feeling happy and to have hope. These thoughts remain unspoken. He can’t look at Youngmin anymore, seeing the other’s blank expression turning into an apologetic one.

‘Kwangmin… I’m sor’- ‘Forget it.’ Kwangmin says quickly. I don’t want to hear it. It’s not his fault. It’s my fault for feeling like this.

‘Did you know about Hyunseong hyung’s transfer?’ Kwangmin sees Youngmin notices he’s trying to change the subject.

‘He just told me.’ Luckily Youngmin plays along. ‘I didn’t want this to happen. I really hope he can stay at Paran.’

‘Should we talk to the Paran student council one more time?’ Kwangmin asks.  ‘With everyone! President Hyunyoung, Hyunseong hyung, Jeongmin hyung and us two.’ He adds, before Youngmin is able to protest.

‘I guess that’s our only option left.’ Youngmin says after thinking for a while.

‘Okay. I’ll take care of it. If it doesn’t work Hyunseong hyung should transfer.’

‘Kwangmin, I want to prevent Hyunseong hyung from transferring. Even if I’ll lose my title as a student council member.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin is surprised by the seriousness in Youngmin’s voice.

‘Why?’ He asks when Youngmin doesn’t say any more.

‘He’s my best friend and I’m scared that he will be hurt. If that video leaks out and he and Lee Jeongmin will be discovered both of them will be bullied. That would ruin their relationship.’ Youngmin says. I never thought about that. Kwangmin thinks. Youngmin takes another sip of his coffee and when he puts it down he looks outside. Kwangmin also looks and sees Donghyun and Minwoo walking, happily chatting away and laughing.

‘I don’t know about Hyunseong hyung but I’m sure Jeongmin hyung would not care about rumours or bullies.’ Kwangmin says, already not looking outside anymore.

‘Maybe you’re right.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin can feel his heart beating faster looking at Youngmin. His eyes look suddenly distant but soft. He takes the coffee and his nose twitches when the smell of it comes in reach. His lips part o so slightly before taking a small sip. Only after a while he sees the purple blue, thick skin under his bangs and the bandages around his arms.

‘Hyung?’ Kwangmin asks before the other is able to notice him staring. Youngmin turns towards him. Suddenly Kwangmin realizes Youngmin’s thoughts. Worrying about his friend while being in pain himself. For some reason looking at him makes him feel lonely, insecure and full of hate towards people that hurt him in the past.

‘How did you get hurt?’ His answer is a sad smile and a shake of the head.