Chapter 31: Just throw yourself

Kwangmin opens the door towards the school rooftop. It’s a windy day and he already knows where Jeongmin and Minwoo will be. He walks towards a wall that has the best coverage from the cold wind and as he expected his friends are there. They seem to be fighting over Minwoo’s food. Jeongmin is trying to pull a piece of bread from his hands and Minwoo is defending it with all his might.

‘Should a hyung really be acting like that?’ Kwangmin asks when he walks up to them. Jeongmin and Minwoo turn their head at the same time and immediately become quiet. ‘What?’ He asks. Jeongmin signs with his hand he should sit down. Kwangmin does so.

‘Why didn’t you tell us Youngmin hyung came yesterday?’ Minwoo asks, looking betrayed.

‘We were going for karaoke, remember?’ Jeongmin says. Kwangmin’s eyes go wide. ‘Really?! I forgot, sorry.’ He says immediately rubbing his hands together.

‘Just call next time.’ Jeongmin says with a sigh. ‘We knocked on your door but you didn’t even answer hyung. Were you that busy?’ Minwoo asks, not realizing the meaning behind his own question. Kwangmin turns red and Jeongmin immediately spots it.

‘Damn, you were ing Youngmin while you were supposed to go out with us?’ Jeongmin asks, acting quasi shocked.

‘WHAT?! But Youngmin hyung told me the two of you didn’t have !’ Minwoo screams.

Kwangmin turns to Jeongmin, completely shocked. ‘We weren’t having .’ And he then turns towards Minwoo. ‘We don’t have just like hyung sai- wait? Why did hyung talk to you about that?’ He asks, surprised and embarrassed by his friends words.

‘I… didn’t want to have with Donghyun hyung. So I asked Youngmin hyung if the two of you already did it. I was wondering if I was just abnormal.’ Minwoo says.

‘You are abnormal.’ Jeongmin says, immediately making Minwoo’s mood worse. ‘Hyung...’ Kwangmin tries to warn him with the tone of his voice but Jeongmin, dense as always, keeps on rattling. ‘There’s no way Donghyun is going to wait for you. At least half of the people that know him will have a dirty dream about him in their life. His body is like… who are those people… from Egypt?’ He asks, turning towards Kwangmin. ‘I think you’re trying to go with Greek god but I’m not sure.’

‘YES!’ Jeongmin yells, turning to Minwoo again. ‘How can you not want to have with him?’

‘BECAUSE I’M SCARED OKAY?!’ Minwoo yells. He’s embarrassed after saying it. ‘That’s fine Minwoo.’ Kwangmin says.

‘For Minwoo it is. But not for you, right?’ Jeongmin asks. Kwangmin blushes but then nods. ‘Yes. I think I want to.’

‘If Youngmin was the one harassing you I would be so annoyed but now that the situation is reserved…’ Jeongmin says, thinking hard. Kwangmin and Minwoo laugh. ‘I think you should be aggressive about it hyung. Show Youngmin hyung that you’re a man.’

‘I agree with Min baby. Just kiss him a bit more y, with more passion then love and he’ll accept you gladly.’

‘You really think so?’ Kwangmin asks, surprised by his friend’s confidence. They both nod. ‘Of course. You’re hot, Kwangmin. Just push away your pride and throw yourself at him, I say.’  Jeongmin says.

Kwangmin smiles and nods with new found confidence.

~

Youngmin can’t help feeling excited. It’s been four days since he’s seen Kwangmin and he somehow feels like he deserves to see his boyfriend again, even if it’s just for council work, seeing Kwangmin healthy and smiling in front of him is enough for Youngmin.

All of Youngmin’s classes have finished so the only thing left is the meeting. With quick and excited steps he walks through the hallways of Paran. It only takes him a few minutes to reach the room of the student council. From far away he can see two figures standing near the door.

‘Sorry, I am late.’

‘No, you’re not. We’re early.’ Junghwa says with a bright smile. Youngmin quickly opens the door and turns towards Kwangmin. ‘Good to see you again.’ He says. Kwangmin doesn’t answer.

‘Kwangmin oppa.’ Junghwa says. Kwangmin is startled hearing his name. ‘Oh… ah… sorry, what?’

‘I think we are working with a brain less today.’ Junghwa says, pushing Kwangmin against the head with her fist. ‘Sorry.’ Kwangmin says and Youngmin laughs.

~

Kwangmin can’t focus on the meeting at all. The only thing he can see is Youngmin with his perfectly shaped lips and sharp jawline. The words that he and Junghwa are exchanging don’t reach him.

It’s all Jeongmin hyung’s fault. He thinks, annoyed.

But really… when do I attack him? It’s not like I can do it now, during a meeting, with Junghwa, the president of Uta in front of us. Everyone would find out and Youngmin would definitely reject me if I made a move on him in this situation. Kwangmin thinks.

He knows very well that Junghwa and Youngmin have already given up on him. At first they still asked him some questions but because of the lack of intelligent answers or no answer at all, they decided to just talk with the two of them.

Because of that Kwangmin feels embarrassed. He got this task from Hyunyoung to become president but the only thing he can think about is making a move on Youngmin. I’m a terrible human being. He decides with a sigh.

The meeting is done after an hour.

‘Everything clear?’ Youngmin asks.

‘Perfectly clear.’ Junghwa says. The two of them look at Kwangmin who just smiles. He knows that if he says “yes” the two presidents in front of him will scold him for twenty minutes.

The three of them leave the student council room and enter the hallway.

‘Wow! It’s already this late?!’ Junghwa exclaims, surprised. The three of them watch the orange pink sky through the window.

‘I’m going. Good luck and see you in 2 days.’

‘Bye.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin realizes the older is wary of his presence and refrains from saying too much. That’s why Kwangmin decides to say the words his boyfriend wanted to say.

‘It’s getting dark so be careful. Text us when you’re back in the dorms, alright?’ He asks. Junghwa smiles her white teeth bares. ‘Uhm. I will. Thank you guys!’ Junghwa says. She turns around and walks away. She turns when she’s halfway to wave at the twins one more time. Both of them wave back at her.

‘Good to see you being nice to Junghwa.’ Youngmin says, when the girl is out of their sight. Kwangmin smiles awkwardly. ‘I just said what you wanted to say.’ He admits. Youngmin laughs shaking his head. ‘You’re really something. Just admit that you like her as much as me.’ Kwangmin pouts but then nods. ‘Ok. I think she’s a good person. But don’t you dare fall for her!’

‘You know I won’t, babo.’ Youngmin says in a more serious tone than Kwangmin expected. ‘True. I’m more doubtful about myself. I wonder how you can like me?’

‘Kwangmin, you’re amazing.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin’s cheeks turn a pinkish colour and he quickly turns his head and gazes out of the window. The sky is slowly becoming darker. Kwangmin hears Youngmin shifting on his feet and he turns his head towards the window too.

‘You have always been supporting me, even when I was mad at you. You’re incredibly friendly, smart, good at rapping and dancing. You’re the best sweet talker I know.’ Youngmin says. Kwangmin now turns his head. He’s sure he’s tomato red when Youngmin turns towards him and smirks.

‘Also, you’re a very good kisser.’ Youngmin says.

Kwangmin feels like he’s going to die. He never expected all of these words coming from Youngmin. if it wasn’t for the mission he would’ve cried a long time already. But he remembers and quickly moves towards Youngmin. he takes the other by the shoulders and pushes him against the wall.

‘What the’-  Youngmin exclaims before Kwangmin presses their lips together. Be attacks Youngmin’s bottom lip and just when he wants to go further the other pushes against his chest and the contact breaks.

‘WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING!’ Youngmin screams. Kwangmin watches the other with big eyes. Youngmin looks incredibly mad. He isn’t happy or at all, he’s just… enraged.

‘I…I…’ He stutters.

‘HAVE YOU LOST IT!? Don’t you ever kiss me again!’ Youngmin yells.

‘YOU SAID I’M A GOOD KISSER!’ Kwangmin yells back, feeling embarrassed, rejected and wronged at the same time.

‘Forget what I said. You’re the worst idiot in the whole world.’ Youngmin says, trying to stop himself from screaming. He turns around and quickly leaves.

Kwangmin’s vision is blinded by his tears.

‘FINE! I WILL NEVER KISS YOU AGAIN! I WILL ING SEE YOU NEVER AGAIN JO YOUNGMIN!’ Kwangmin screams, his voice breaking as he sees Youngmin’s back, moving farther and farther away from him.

~

Youngmin keeps walking straight. He knows turning around will make him waver. He isn’t the one in the wrong, it’s Kwangmin.

Kwangmin is the kissing him in the hallway of the school. He’s insane. Youngmin thinks. he ignores his head getting heavy and his heart that is throbbing against his chest.