Chapter 12: Falling

Kwangmin comes back to the dorm after school and dance practice is finished.  When he enters his room and walks towards his closet to change out of his school uniform he’s immediately faced by the note stuck on the door.

Playing soccer with hyung on Saturday!!!

Kwangmin, you lucky bastard ^3^

He can’t help laughing at his own writing. How excited was I when I wrote this? He thinks before pulling some clothes from their hangers.

The weekend looks promising for him. Tonight he’s going to go for karaoke with Jeongmin and Minwoo and tomorrow he’s going to meet Youngmin. Nothing is going to ruin his weekend. He takes of his shirt and throws it on the bed.

~

Youngmin stares at the screen in front of him. He sits between Donghyun and Hyunseong. They lean against the wall while playing a game. all three of them have their eyes glued to the screen.

‘And… are you ready for tomorrow?’ Donghyun asks after he dies. Youngmin still playing takes a while to answer him. ‘Not sure. Feels like it’s going to be awkward.’ He admits.

Donghyun takes some popcorn from the bag Hyunseong brought from the supermarket. ‘Well of course you rejected her with a stupid playboy line.’ He says, still with food in his mouth.

‘WHAT?’ Youngmin asks, turning around to Donghyun who’s eyes turn even bigger than they normally already are. ‘I forgot to tell you didn’t I? Well I’m screwed...’

Hyunseong quickly pauses the game realizing the weird atmosphere. ‘What did you forget to tell me?’

‘Well, that girl that was hitting on you at the blind date we went to. She contacted me and asked me to set you guys up. I did but I forgot to tell you, you have a date tomorrow.’

‘WHAT THE HYUNG!’ Youngmin yells, throwing his console on the bed in rage. ‘I’M NOT GOING!’

‘Why not?!’ Donghyun asks, completely surprised.

‘I’m meeting Kwangmin tomorrow.’ He says, trying to calm himself. Hyunseong also puts his console away. ‘That wasn’t very smart of you hyung. How long ago did you make this appointment with that girl?’

‘A few weeks or so.’ Donghyun says, turning more guilty seeing Youngmin’s troubled expression. Then his dongseang’s expression suddenly turns cold. ‘It’s not my problem. You go instead of me.’ He says. Donghyun turns even more towards him. ‘Come on Youngmin. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that but how can I tell her you rejected her? That’s horrible!’ He says. Youngmin seems to be considering his words.

‘Did she bother you?’

‘Of course she did. She found out my number through another girl and she kept on nagging.’

‘Then I’ll go and teach her a lesson. I don’t like the fact that you sold me out to get rid of her but I can kind of understand. Girls like that are so annoying.’ Youngmin says. Donghyun presents him a grateful smile. ‘Thanks. I’m really super  sorry! I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’

‘I know so just help me out if Kwangmin gets mad.’ Youngmin says. He takes his phone from his pocket. ‘I don’t think he’ll be mad though.’ Hyunseong says. ‘You know him the best out of us.’ Donghyun adds.

Youngmin feels his breath stocking. you guys. You may be closer to Kwangmin right now but I’ll soon be the person that he thinks about before anyone or anything else. He thinks before calling with an anxious heart.

~

Kwangmin comes out of the shower. While drying he hears his phone ring. YOUNGMIN HYUNG! He throws the towel aside and runs towards his bed in the other room.

‘Hello?’

‘Kwangmin…’

‘What is it hyung?’

‘I’m really sorry but can we meet another time? Donghyun hyung made an appointment for me a few weeks ago but forgot to tell me about it.’ Youngmin’s voice sounds full of regret but Kwangmin can’t help thinking selfish thoughts.

‘Let’s not see each other again.’

‘Kwangmin, please jus’-  ‘Hahaha! Just kidding hyung. It can’t be helped.’

‘Kwangmin…’ Kwangmin blinks the tears away that are forming in his eyes.

‘Don’t say my name like that it makes me want to act pitiful.’

‘I’ll definitely make it up to you. We’ll play soccer and I’ll also treat you to samgyupsal.’

‘Sounds good to me. Don’t go back on your words later hyung.’

‘I won’t. I promise. Sorry Kwangmin.’

‘Stop apologizing and thank me instead.’ Saying “I miss you”  is also ok.

‘I’m hanging up. Thank you for understanding.’

‘Yeah.’

Kwangmin’s legs turn numb and he drops his body down on the bed. ‘ah~ah… I got mad at hyung.’ I never thought I would  say such selfish words. I’m the worst.

~

‘When your inconfident footsteps slowed,
There’s a melody I hear louder
This is the only one sad song in this world,
A song that’s endless even when I sing and sing again to the last note…’

Kwangmin closes his eyes. He listents to Jeongmin’s singing voice that fills the room. his thoughts wander off. His last few memories with Youngmin play like a movie in his mind. Their meeting, Youngmin’s coldness, their deal, seeing the girl flirting with Youngmin in the café…

Suddenly he opens his eyes.

‘Once again, today, I love you like it’s my last day.
You fill me up…’ Jeongmin finishes the song smoothly.

‘Minwoo?’

‘What is it hyung?’

‘Do you by chance know who Youngmin hyung is meeting tomorrow?’

‘No. Donghyun didn’t tell me about it.’

‘Who cares about that bastard dumping you?!’ Jeongmin screams, finally out of the emotions while singing. ‘So Minwoo, how are you doing at seducing that collarbone rich hyung?’ Jeongmin ask in a half curious, half teasing tone.

‘I didn’t seduce him!’ Minwoo whines but then a smile replaces his sulky face. ‘He just fell for my infinite charms.’ He says.

‘WOW, narcissist!’ Kwangmin shouts. He’s immediately hit with one of the pillows from the couch. The three of them laugh. ‘Because of Minwoo I want to sing a song by Infinite…’ Jeongmin says.

‘Let’s sing Be Mine.’ Minwoo decides. Immediately taking the remote from the table. ‘Well he’s excited.’ Kwangmin says.

‘But, are you guys dating or not?’

‘No! He’s not as easy to get as he looks.’ Minwoo explains. They all quickly get the microphones when the music starts playing.

‘Move that table aside es! I’m going to dance!’ Minwoo says as Jeongmin starts singing. Kwangmin laughs wholeheartedly. If Minwoo and Jeongmin weren’t here he would be sitting in his room sulking about Youngmin but now he can push the thought to the back of his head and enjoy himself before a long and boring weekend starts.

~

Kwangmin opens his eyes. He’s been awake for a while but he didn’t feel like going out of bed. When he gets up and takes his phone he’s proud for staying in bed till half past nine. If Youngmin hyung didn’t cancel we would’ve probably met up at ten and I would be late for sure. I wonder how he always gets up so early in the morning. I always oversleep… He thinks. He quickly forces a smile not wanting to walk around with a sulky expression all day.

He changes into some training pants and a t-shirt. He’s going to do some dancing and sweat his frustrations out.

He passes the Film and the Art department and enters the department of Sports. Only the dance studio is inside, most of the other stuff is outside. The other rooms are only club rooms. The music department is on the upper floor. A lot of people from the Music department eat at the rooftop because the place is close and most of the people that go there have the same interests. To Kwangmin, the fun thing about the Music department is that they have a huge difference in people. Some are amazing singers but they know about it and they boast like they’re the most perfect human beings in the world. There are also quiet ones but they are really handsome or pretty. There are also people who look like they’re not good at singing at all but they’re actually born with a skill that makes the breath stock in your throat when they practice a difficult song.

Kwangmin is pulled out of his thoughts when the door of the dance practice room opens and he’s facing Minwoo.

‘Oh! Morning hyung.’ Minwoo greets him. Kwangmin nods in return. Then someone comes over from behind Minwoo.

‘What were you doing?’ Upon seeing the person something inside of Kwangmin immediately snaps. He takes the other by the collar and pulls him close. ‘Hyung? What are you doing to Donghyun hyung?!’ Minwoo yells in shock.

‘You . It’s all your fault.’ He says, so soft Minwoo can’t hear him. Donghyun swallows his saliva slowly recovering from the shock. ‘I know Kwangmin. I’m sorry.’

‘DON’T APOLOGIZE YOU ING BASTARD!’ Kwangmin yells, letting go with one hand and striking him against the face with his fist. He lets go of Donghyun’s collar when he hits him. The impact is so strong that Donghyun stumbles backwards and drops on the floor, almost hitting the back of his head against the wall. Kwangmin is too mad to care and he can feel the anger in him rise even more as Minwoo drops down next to Donghyun. ‘Kwangmin what the are you doing?!’ He asks. Minwoo turns around. Kwangmin can feel himself calming down a bit when he realizes Minwoo is more worried about him then really mad at him.

He only realizes now that his whole body is trembling. ‘It’s all your fault. He was supposed to be with me.’

Donghyun and Minwoo stare at him like he’s a little kid that got his ice cream taken away by a bully.

‘Were you that worried about it?’ Minwoo asks.

‘Of course I am.’ Kwangmin says, now facing Donghyun.

‘I know the girl is a bit…’- ‘Girl?!’ Kwangmin interrupts him. Minwoo quickly gets up and susses him. ‘Youngmin hyung didn’t mention that.’ He warns Donghyun, a bit, no way too late. ‘It’s that girl we saw him with at the café. Do you remember?’

Kwangmin nods. Of course I do. How could I forget that flirting with MY hyung?! Kwangmin thinks as he fights another wave of madness and anger. ‘What is she planning to do? Confess?’

‘I don’t know. But Youngmin will probably reject her.’

‘And what if he doesn’t? Then he will date her and have no time for me and we’ll never be close again.’

‘Kwangmin?’ Donghyun’s voice is suddenly more serious. ‘What?’ He asks. He watches Donghyun’s uneven eyes which he has because he has a double eyelid on only one side. For some reason it’s more obvious now that they take up all his attention. ‘Could it be that you have different feelings for Youngmin?’

Kwangmin feels his body going hot and the blush spreading over his cheeks. ‘W-w-w-what?’ His stuttering isn’t very convincing.

‘Do you like Youngmin?’ Donghyun’s words seem to drop down on him. It’s like he’s thrown from a waterfall and is being pushed down by the strong water. Taking him to the end of a bottomless lake.

In his mind, he lets go. The thoughts that crushed down when he was falling have never been thought of. ‘Of course I don’t.’ Kwangmin says before turning around and quickly leaving. He’s not in the mood to dance anymore.

I’m jealous. I’m really jealous of that girl getting to spend time with Youngmin hyung but isn’t that normal as a brother?