What am I thinking ?

30 y ... divorcée

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After watching for the fiteenth time together Titanic , Hyuna just fell asleep on Erin laps. Erin keep watching movies until herself collapsed too.Hyuna wake up first and instantly took her phone to get the time. It was just 7pm, she saw that she received a message of her father and read it , happy to see that her Dad doesn’t forget her

Princess, I know it’s quite late but be free from him & enjoy your life. This was totally his style to send those random cheering messages, and starting the day reading this gives Hyuna a smile. She keep going with this wonderful day by violently waking up Erin.

You’re heartless Hyuna.

The heartless Hyuna just laughed, This is why I got dumped !

They both eat, thinking that the boys were still sleeping. They watched some music videos together, soon a song that both of them liked since they were young. Careless of thinking of the guys still sleeping, both were singing loudly and dancing at the song. Hyuna think again of all those nights dancing on the campus and going out every week ends. They were popular, standing out maybe not queens of university but all the campus was aware of them, admired by girls because they were smart, fit and original and loved by boys .

Ahh, university it was so special right ? Erin said with sparkles in her eyes.They started to speak a little about those years, as fresh college girls.The boys woke up, and came to sit next to them , Himchan speak out :

“ I hear the words love, go out, fall for you and liked you , what’s going out there ?”

Hyuna and Erin laughed :” We were reminding of our university years “

“Oh first love, cute boys, those kind of things ?”

“Or maybe how our literature teacher was a hottie …” Erin said with a sensual voice making Himchan frown while Yong Guk and Hyuna were laughing.

“You remember that we were even calling him oppa ?” Erin said to Hyuna.

“I never did that ! “ Hyuna protested.

“Ah, here the annoying first of our class coming back … “ Erin retorted, quite annoyed by the boring student that Hyuna were.

Himchan spoke out, thinking about a detail that bothered him :  “But Erin you’re 32 and Hyuna is only 30, but you were in the same year ? “

Erin frowned “She skipped 1 years of  school younger because she was able to follow the older class … and was excellent. In my side, I took a sabbatical year after high school  so ended up with younger people in my class the following year…  She was first of our promotion, our litterature teacher almost cried when you said that you was getting married instead of getting a job”  

“You’re lying, Mister Seok didn’t cry !” Hyuna retorted, losing her usual cool, as Erin was praising how she was smart ...

“At school but I’m sure that when he was home, he cry all his poor heart out. Deep inside of me, I think that he was waiting our graduation to confess, really .”

Hyuna blushed before rolling her eyes, “As if … ”

Erin, hearing a phone ringing, handed hyuna her phone. She was ready to answer when she gets the name and refused the call

“Why aren’t you answering ?”

“Why is he calling ?” Hyuna asked while showing the screen to Erin. It was Yunho calling, Erin stole the cell phone and noticed that it was his fifth time since yesterday, she blocked the number , not even surprised that Hyuna still had his number. However, his contact number changed , last time Erin saw it, it was "Lovely Husband" now a simple, cold "Yunho" was remaining ...

 “More than all , it’s not the first time today , maybe it’s time to change of dial number !”

Erin slapped Hyuna , and Hyuna had just to agree. She cupped Hyuna face and kissed her forehead :

Mom is proud of you, daughter, now let’s shower and change this dial number, okay ? Then, we will go to work and tonight the guys have invited us to their whatever thingy underground stuff !”

Hyuna sighed and corrected Erin :  I’m sure they mean a rap battle ! before turning herself to the boys :  That’s nice ! I’ve never been to such events !

After monopolizing the bathroom for almost an hour, now  the women were choosing their outfit.Hyuna hasn’t a say in the conversation and had to wear one of Erin mini skirt and she doesn’t know how she end up with a classy shirt. She was just glad that it ends up being classy with this length of skirt.

Erin as usual, was carefully choosing her clothes and putting on make up.  Hyuna too lazy to wear any make up, decided that her co workers had to bear with her bare face today. Tired of waiting she just sat back on the living room with Yong Guk and Himchan, who glance at her. Feeling some eyes on her, she just speak out, almost frightening those two :

Why are you two looking at me this way ?

Erin skirt is gorgeous on you , Himchan speaks out, after clearing his throat.

Oh, thanks you, if you say so …. So if you don’t mind, I’ll start working. She said almost heartlessly to them.

Hyuna walked with ease until Erin little table and enter the pass code of her computer. Now she was silently reading every pages of the magazine on the table and correcting every spelling mistakes or grammaticals errors like a excellent school professor. As she was quietly doing her work, looking in her agendas, calling briefly her co workers Erin went out finally of the room.

Erin, I really don’t know how you manage a dozen of magazines if you start to work at 9pm and stop before 5am…  she scolded her friend.

I have dozen of people who overwork like you to do my work, I’m just supervising the thing ! Erin replied , annoying Hyuna.

I ‘ll meet with them and we’ll put a lawsuit against you. Hyuna said while putting on her shoes, getting ready to leave.

Dare to do that, and you can forgot being my friend.

They were slightly heading to the door. Hyuna asked blankly “Who is friend with you ?” before running away in the elevator. The crazy laughs of Hyuna and the high pitched screams of Erin stopped when the elevator door closed.

She didn’t even kiss me to greet me, aissh this girl really !! Himchan said, outraged by his girlfriend behavior.

Yong Guk laughed “ You’re the one being passionate in this right ? Doing every thing she’s ordering, and asking for a reward after with a mellow voice."

Himchan pushed him gently, making Yong Guk chuckle. Dude, don't bother me , i have questions to ask too ! Himchan thought, before retorting :

If Erin is alike me, in the other hand Hyuna quite reminds me of you, man.

Yong Guk sighed, here the moment he knew that Himchan would do something like that, Himchan took some beers out of the fridge, even if he knew that Yong Guk will not even open his and sit back next to Yong Guk. He passed his arm on his friends shoulders and started to investigate.

"So ………… what’s really going on between this gorgeous woman that shower in your bathroom and sleep in your bed and you, poor naughty thing ?"

Yong Guk was dismayed … "In fact you forgot Jun Hong,  she find more exciting !"

Himchan had a puzzled expression and soon gasped air. When did his friend learn to retort that well ?

"Geez for  a moment I totally forgot Jun Hong there, so nothing like nothing at all ? You never accidentally open her door at the wrong moment ?

Yong Guk shook his head, before remembering of something with red cheeks :Once while she was trying on a white mini dress …

Oh, Yong Guk damn it, those legs in a mini dress. Himchan said while biting his lips with passion.

You’re not the one with a girlfriend by the way ? Yong Guk asked playful.

Oh I’m just saying … but know that I’m fully satisfied with Erin she’s so ho-

I don’t need details. Yong Guk stopped his friend.

Himchan laugh and after preparing themselves, they headed to the studio to practice for tonight. It was a rap battle , they focus on Yong Guk parts as Jun Hong would head there after school.

Finally the night arrive.Hyuna went to change herself at home. What could she wear at such events ? She had dresses for cocktails parties, then for cmub, for bussiness meetings (even of she never  assisted to one) , but for rap battle ? She decided herself for a messy baggie style jeans with a crank top that showed her nostril with written MEOW on it. With a jacket to cover her belly.

Arrived at the place, she waited for Erin. Soon she received a rough kiss on her cheek.

“Oh you’re there Erin !With Himchan ? You’re not participating tonight ?"

He shook his head “ No, I don’t feel like doing it, Yong Guk is more than fitted to do that instead of me.”

“Oh, I was curious to hear you though, so let’s enter”

The place was crownded with people, and hyuna quickly gave up wearing her jacket. Anyways she wasn’t that shy wearing a crank top, she is thirty dear she cans surely wear what she love to. She let Erin and Himchan some intimacy, and went to get a fresh beer, waiting for the show to start. The bar was crowded with young people. Maybe I’m the oldest person there …

Some rapper started to show and Hyuna really loved his performance. She always loved rap, badly when it involde good looking people like Jay Park or Gray. Hmm, talent she mean talent, what’s a rapper without talent, after all ? No, seriously Hyuna loved rap, she is an unconditional fan of Epik High and still fan girls about Tablo. Can’t he suddenly pop there and blow her mind away with his voice ? She get impressed with every performers, each ones had their own flow, their own style of rap and every performance was one of the kind. She realli didn’t realize that the time was flying and that the show was already on the ending.

Soon, the light changed and Yong Guk arrived on the scene, wearing a long black jacket, with a bleached jean. The crown chant was louder but he keeps his killer glare on. On stage he’s the total bad boy, she thought. His low voice of him was once again fulled with hatred while he was professionally doing his performance. His lyrics were meaningful and he expressed it excellently, with the good amount of violence in his presence and of charisma. Hyuna was fascinated by how he could be that at ease on stage and that awkward in the everyday life… He’s like done for that … Once he pronounced his last sentence and a last “chyeah”, acclamed by the crowd he bowed slightly and went backstage again.

Erin speak out “ He’s good”

Himchan nodded , followed by Hyuna. They chatted a little about every performance, and without any biais there, they really picked out Yong Guk as the best performer of tonight. Soon, the star arrived completely changed, back with his usual smile.

"You were too cool, Youngster !! The best out of there !"

He high five Hyuna and she bragged him to their little table. Where every one acclamed him.He did his shy smile, as if he wasn’t really sure about it and took a sip of his beer.

Now some people were singing some songs, and Hyuna keep watching the show, amazed that such a place exist. Soon, a girl blocked the view standing in front of her. The girl gave her a weird look and went away.  After spending one more hour in the bar, the four friends were outside and say goodbye to each others. As Himchan was already walking the other way with Erin, Hyuna was again praising Yong GUk skills when the same girl that blocked her way put a hand on Yong Guk shoulder.

“Oppa !”

It was the first time that Hyuna was hearing someone call Yong Guk “oppa” ,and it feels to strange and she hold back her smile. The boy turned himself and seeing the person his smile faded.

“It’s been a while, Yong Guk Oppa !” The girl was saying it with a shy smile and as Yong guk spoke :

"What are you doing there, Soo Hee ?" He said with a aggressive tone.

"I came to watch your performance,  you were excellent as always Oppa !" She said in an aegyo full tone.

“Thanks.” He answered coldly.

Hyuna stayed silent trying to not get involved in their stuff but the girl was already scrutinizing her. “Can I talk to you in private, Oppa ?”

Yong Guk slightly raise his eyes towards her former girlfriend, and sighed. She smiled at him thinking that it was his way to agree : I knew that you will …

Honestly, I don’t feel like talking to you. he said with a bad glare to her, shocking the cutie in front of him.

He make few steps before grabbing Hyuna wrist : Let’s go Hyuna !

She blinked her eyes hearing her name. She didn’t even looked at him and followed him fixing the floor. The girl went away, vexed that he wouldn’t talk to her.

They walked silently, Yong Guk and Hyuna both in their thoughs, even if they were walking next to each other. Yong guk was reminding of him dating this girl. She was like his sun in his universe  … until she refused his marriage proposal. His world broke into little pieces when she explained to him with her high pitched voice of her that she wasn't ready, that they had live in front of them...

Hyuna herself was thinking that Yong Guk really have secrets, unlike her that haven’t private life or secret, she didn’t know much about him. He’s 24 , raps, has no siblings, busy parents, a house for him he’s kind and smiley. But except that, what kind of student was he ? His favorite color, singer , flower ? His favorite cartoon ?

Soon she grabbed his arm with a shy smile: What about a last beer before home ?

They entered in a little restaurant near home. Seeing that Yong Guk keep drinking without a look for her, Hyuna talked first : 

“ Thanks for last time, I wasn’t in my right mind and I don’t know how I would handle talking with him … and you avoided this so I’m grateful”

“Oh I have good reflexes. But he must have seen you , as he called you.”

“Hmm surely but well I don’t want to be annoyed by him, not now. I might fall under his spell again if he appears out of the blue like that, and it is not what I need for the moment.” She said honestly, hoping that Yong Guk would do the same ...

“Legit”

Hyuna poured one more drink for him and after a silence he finally speak out :

“This girl is my former girlfriend”

“I guess”

“We met during high school then during our first year of university I proposed to her but she refused and break up with me” he said while fixing his bottle of beer.

Hyuna had a sad expression on now : “Oh My it’s ..."

" Pitiful. " he said while hiding his face between his large and manly hands. Hyuna sighed and brushed them away from his face, under the surprised eyes of Yong Guk.

Hmm, I’m not the person who can judge your relationship ,Youngster, I got dumped too.

She looked at him with her eyesmile, the young man stared at her astonished that she could talk about that with that happy face. They both bursted into laughs, finnaly glad that someone could understand that pain without feeling pity for them or judging them. It was delighting to know that other people were struggling too, but it’s the aim of life, you fall and stands up .With only looking at each others, they felt that they delighted their heavy heart, as if they talked for a very long time of it.

He joked  : I guess we’re not best friend for nothing ! and poured himself another drink that Hyuna stole and drink.

So as your bestfriend, I’m not allowing you to drink again tonight let’s head back home,huh ?

Yong Guk was slightly drunk, being a little brighter than usual, not even walking straigh. Hyuna helped him to enter home and felt that it will be impossible to make him get upstairs.

Soon Jun Hong arrived and they managed to get him to his bed. Hyuna carefully took off his shoes and his long jacket, but soon she finds herself staring at him. He was lying in a very relaxed way and sleeping silently.Once again, he seemed angelic and his lips  curved into a little smile as if he was having great dreams. Hyuna couldn’t help herself but get closer, she brushed his hair with her hand, feeling all fluttered by the electric shock it was giving her. Not thinking properly, her face get closer to his and she was able to feel his peaceful breath on her face, their lips were now separed by only few centimeters. After a few seconds, frozen in this peaceful yet strange moment,she stands up  and get out of his room. Ashamed of what she was going to do, she put a hand on her heart, trying to calm the crazy heartbeats this moment just provoked.

What’s wrong with me ?

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Comments

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clarissarth
#1
Chapter 36: I died in romantical way xD

Ah i'm waiting for erine's fic anw ;"3
Indian ocean? Where are you come from?
Teacups88
#2
Chapter 36: This was to cute!!!
sunfoolfinger #3
Chapter 36: I really like this one~
jmayo81 #4
Chapter 36: Awww, while I'm sad it's ended, it was the perfect ending for the 2! so sweet & adorable, I love their daughter, so fiesty! although, I will say, that I totally think that Hyuna is preggers again! her feeling lightheaded, sick of smells, feeling tired... all those lil things made me think that. LOVED what Yongguk said about it taking 6years to make him, so he'd be perfect for her! ugh, the feels on that! thank you for writing the awesome story & look forward to reading you other ones!
jaylamly88
#5
Chapter 36: Thank you for writing this! It was a great read :)
jmayo81 #6
Chapter 35: I loved this chapter, I swear, sometimes I think you read out of my journal w/ a lot about her & Yunho! hahaha... but I was SO glad & touched at how her & Yongguk had that sweet & loving moment after she ran back home to him! ugh, just the feels! loved this chapter, thank you so much for updating! sorry, that things didn't quite work out for you & your crush, maybe next year? and Yes, it seems like he's got a good crew of friends & loved ones. hopefully Yongguk leans on them.
jmayo81 #7
Chapter 34: OMG... the Yongguk feels throughout!!! I had a similar relationship to her & Yunho w/ my ex & would LOVE to meet a guy like Yongguk. so sweet & kind & not making you feel like a burden! but the cliffhanger!!!! UGH, can't wait for him to meet a REAL man. I hope it goes well >_<!! thank you for updating!
jmayo81 #8
Chapter 32: Welcome back! this was a cute chapter! love the siblings :D Jae & Dae & Nahyun. thank you for updating, looking forward to what will happen next!
jmayo81 #9
Chapter 31: Ahhh, I wanted to space out the story, but I loved it! I'm glad they got together, FINALLY... can't wait for an update :D
jmayo81 #10
Chapter 1: I'm just starting this story... loving it so far. thank you! glad I've got more chapters to go :D