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{29}

My hand flopped onto my iTouch and automatically checked the time. It’s frigging 12:30 in the morning? I groaned and dropped my head back onto my pillow, placing my device back in the corner of my bed. I have to go to the airport in 3 ½ hours, why did I wake up so damn early? I couldn’t go back to sleep, suddenly I was wide awake, so I laid in bed for a while until I got up at 3. I can’t believe I only got 4 hours of sleep. I slapped my face and lazily dragged my hand down my cheek, trying to wake myself up. I went to bed around 9:30 because I had been busy last minute packing. I was more asleep than awake when I did my daily routines. My father handed me a bowl of cereal when I came downstairs; I had dressed in white jeans and a plain blue t-shirt. We were going to the airport but after the plane ride we were heading straight to UCLA for a college tour. “Are you awake, Taeng?” my dad chuckled and I shook my head unconsciously.

“I’ll be okay, just drop me off,” I mumbled, resting my face on my palm as my dad patted my back. My voice was uncharacteristically low, it was unrecognizable. I grabbed my Nike knapsack and carry-on and tossed the suitcase into the car’s trunk. My clothes for the trip were in there as well as two pairs of shoes, a box of granola bars, my pressed black button up and a pair of slacks. I was pretty sure I was well-prepared, I didn’t think I was missing anything, and my grandparents had given me more than $200 for the trip. Boo-yah.

“Make sure you don’t skip your meals or anything, okay?” he said and I hummed, tapping my hand against my forehead to keep myself awake.

“I won’t, don’t worry, I’ll be okay.” They were a little freak out, my parents, but I understood. This was my first time going on vacation without them. I was kind of excited though. I felt like I blinked my eyes and we were already getting out of the car, looking around for my band or at least people who looked familiar. It was 4:35; I was 25 minutes early for check-in.

“TAEYEON!” I turned around, slower than usually, but saw that some upper classmen were waving me down.

“I’ll be okay now, Dad,” I told him and he patted my shoulder affectionately.

“Alright, have a good time,” he said and we side hugged before I rolled over to the overly energetic teenagers.

It’s been nearly 7 years since my last airplane ride, the security still . We boarded our plane at around 6:50 and the plane took off about 15 minutes later. My classmates on my same plane ride were loud and somehow boisterous but I didn’t mind, I couldn’t sleep on the slightly nauseating ride anyways. My percussionist friends and I were getting heated up over a game of Slap Jack when we left to UCLA. I was kind of glad we were getting the tour, I wanted to go to a school in California, and the university would be even closer to Tiffany. “Wanna go here, Taeyeon?” Seunghyun asked, sipping on his water bottle.

“Mm, it’s pretty good in medicine,” I nodded.

“If we get in we can go together,” he suggested kindly and I smirked.

“I’m not coming here then,” I joked and he scoffed, kicking the air around my leg. He didn’t dare meet his foot with my calf. Right now we were having lunch at the college’s food court. The sushi isn’t that bad.

“Even here, why are people looking at you?” Jonghyun frowned and I looked up, barely missing the curious stares of other university students. I raised an eyebrow but looked back at my food.

“They’re probably wondering what I’m doing with a bunch of dudes,” I shrugged and popped in a California roll. I smiled a bit at the irony and then my face dropped. Dear God I’m tired.

“Or they think you’re hot,” Wooyoung suggested. Honestly, I would’ve been okay with any of the other guys saying that, but with him making that comment it made me uncomfortable. Jiyong then straightened out his sweatshirt and stood up in the middle of the restaurant, stretching out his arms to gesture towards our table. It already attracted some eyes.

“Uh, yeah! She’s a teenager, not even a senior, a minor! Stop staring, it’s freaking us all out!” he shouted and sat back down, but by now I was burying my face in my hands. My head was tilting. Dear lord these guys are my friends.

“When is the choir getting here?” I asked, attempting to change the subject. The music departments travelled in different flights: Band at 7:00, Orchestra departed at 8:30, and the Choir left the airport at 10:30.

“Um, they should be in another two and a half hours,” Baekhyun said, checking his watch and I groaned. I had a feeling my three roommates were all in the choir department so I was worried about how they were going to travel since they had to rush when they arrived. “We have to go on the tour right now; we should be back before they get here.”

“Alright, should be interesting,” Seunghyun sighed and we all stood up, leaving our table and walking outside to the tour group. It wasn’t that sunny, but it was nice. Outside they had a DJ on the platform, but I think that was to drown out the preacher standing in the middle of the plaza who was shouting about Doom’s Day. We had to ignore the man as we passed by him, he even shouted in my ears. Crazy people in California…

By the time the third group had finally arrived it was 2 in the afternoon, signaling I had practically been awake for 14 hours already. I should feel tired, right? But somehow I seemed fine. Even after the two hour long tour of the gigantic university, I was in a good mood. I slipped away from my Band members in order to meet up with Jessica, who seemed equally as satisfied that I was one of her roommates. “You know, I can always take the floor, you should sleep on the bed,” she insisted, sweeping her blonde hair over to the other side of her porcelain neck. Oh my God you’re more tired than you think, Taeyeon, stop it. Don’t stare! I glanced up at the sky and sighed briefly. I’m sorry I’m such a ert, Yuri.

“No, don’t, I sleep on the floor all of the time, just take the goddamn bed,” I insisted and she smirked, somehow leaning closer to me.

“We’ll figure it out when we get to the room then,” she suggested and I nodded, leaning back onto the grass. “Can I see your iPod?” she asked. I thought nothing of it and handed her the device. “Woah, I see Tiffany likes taking selfies here,” she noted and I smirked, remembering how Tiffany liked to use my iPod and mainly took pictures of herself.

“Yeah, she likes to show people that she kinda owns my stuff too,” I shrugged and looked over as I saw Jessica snap a picture of a cute face. Oh no, Tiffany’s gonna get mad. She handed me back the device and I glanced at the picture, smiling a bit. One selfie won’t hurt.

“You guys are close, she was really serious when she told me I was your roommate,” she grinned and I sighed.

“I’m sorry, did she get all overprotective on you?” I asked and the latter laughed. It wasn’t like Tiffany’s, it was lighter and higher pitched, but at the same time refreshing.

“It’s understandable; she’s very fond of you and vice versa. I didn’t mind, especially since she rarely gets serious and it was a sight to see,” she said and I smiled. Oh Fany-ah, you’re so funny.

“What did she say?” I wondered and the girl looked over at me, smirking.

“You don’t need to know.” These girls are gonna be the death of me.

It was an hour and a half bus ride to head to the Santa Monica pier; usually I eat dinner at 5, but the food came at 6. I was so hungry though, I had to eat with my percussionist friends because they were one of the only people who were still ordering food after the first serving! “Yah! Taeng hurry up and finish eating, I wanna go to the boardwalk!” Jessica whined, shaking my shoulders and I glanced at the other five guys, who nervously looked at Jessica. Oh my God, are these guys afraid of every other girl or something? I set down my fork and sighed.

“You guys wanna go?” I offered. I didn’t want to be rude with these guys, they were good friends of mine, and plus I felt a bit intimidated to go with all choir and orchestra kids. I think they caught on and stood up simultaneously.

“Yup, let’s go! Wooyoungie saw some really nice purple shades,” Baekhyun noted and threw his arm around the latter.

“Sica, it’s fine if these dorks come along right?” I asked her, pointing at them.

“Whatever, we all know you’re not as stiff as you seem, Taeyeon,” Seunghyun scoffed and I threw my leg back, kicking his shin. “Ow!”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Percussionists are kind of out on a tangent anyway,” Jessica smirked.

“Well, I’m sorry we can only find fun within ourselves,” Jonghyun stated and pointed at a little shop, right before the crosswalk leading to the pier. “Wooyoung and I will go in here and meet you guys at the arcade down there.”

“Alright, see you in a bit,” I high-fived the two of them and the rest of us practically stampeded to the people filled pier. There were multiple stores and even a couple restaurants, but there was also the trademark Ferris wheel and twisting roller coaster. It was so loud but for some reason I was smiling.

“Taeng! Look at all this stuff!” Jessica bounced around a kiosk, selling Californian goods, clothes, and hats. I rolled my eyes, but I saw how happy she seemed and reached into my pocket.

“Get whatever you want, I’ll pay,” I offered and she looked back, eyes gleaming at my wallet.

“Really?!” she squeaked and I chuckled.

“Sure,” I said and she immediately grabbed dark gray sweats with red “California” lettering.

“Yah, why don’t you buy us stuff?” Jiyong nudged me.

“Because you guys know how to exploit my money, if I bought stuff for you I’d be all out before the night even ends!” I rolled my eyes. I had to survive on my own for another three days, meaning I had to pay for most of my meals, and I had to get some things for Tiffany as well.

“Taeng! It’s $50.48!” Jessica called and I pulled out a fifty dollar bill along with two quarters to place it on the counter. “Thanks for paying; I’ll make it up to you.”

“No problem, I have lots of money left,” I shrugged and received the two pennies in change. “I know I won’t buy a lot during the trip.”

“Taeyeon! Wanna play air hockey?! Jonghyun has like $10 worth of quarters!” Wooyoung shouted from the arcade, sporting his new purple aviators, and I ran inside with Jessica on my tail.

“Uh, yes! You’re dead meat, Wooyoung,” I smirked and grabbed a handle as he slipped in the quarters and people began gathering around our table.

“I call playing winner,” Taecyeon raised his fingers and I nodded. Taecyeon was the band’s one of three baritone saxophone players. I swear his life revolved around music, sports, and academics. Once the machine was up and running, my arm was all over the court. I loved air hockey, it was fun to play, and I was good! For some reason when I slammed the puck and it swished into the opening a thrill went through me.

“What the Hell, Taeyeon?! Why are you so good?!” Wooyoung shouted as I blocked his shot, making it fall back into his return slot. I grinned at him.

“Taecyeon, you’re up,” I pointed and he and Wooyoung switched spots while Jonghyun deposited four more quarters.

“So worth it,” the blonde drummer smiled as he continued wasting his money on my air hockey tournaments.

An hour later and my right arm was buzzing from flinging it everywhere. I was even sweating! I checked my iPod. It was 7:30. I’ve been up for 19 hours. “Taeng! Let’s go to the beach!” Jessica suggested and I stood up, nodding while she was already running forward. How does she have so much energy? When did she wake up this morning?!

“Hey, how come Jessica gets to call you “Taeng” and we don’t?” Seunghyun asked me and I smiled. Because Yuri called me “Taeng”. It was the same thing when I called her “Sica”.  Even after all this time, Yuri was still kind of the only bond between us.

“Inside thing,” I said and he sighed. Since I was pretty beat I just sat on the sand and watched everyone else run crazily. I sighed deeply, smiling when I saw Baekhyun and Jiyong tumbling in the sand. I can’t wait until we get to the hotel and sleep.

“Hey Taeng.” I glanced to the side and saw Jessica, dressed in her new sweats and black tank top that read “Six Pack Coming Soon”. “Tired?”

“Yeah, I’ve been up since 12:30 this morning,” I told her and she frowned at me.

“Why so early? You guys didn’t have to be at the airport until 5,” she raised an eyebrow as I shrugged.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I said and looked around, noticing people in the water. “Oh, they are not gonna enjoy the bus ride to the hotel.”

“Mm, they’re es. The busses aren’t meant for wet clothes and, unless you brought your own, there aren’t any towels,” Jessica added and I chuckled.

“I heard Choir has a lot of drama,” I mentioned.

“I heard Band does nothing,” she said back and I frowned. She grinned.

“We do stuff, we wouldn’t be competing if we didn’t,” I insisted.

“Well, I guess the drama’s just because Choir is full of people who aren’t really into singing. They just want the credits to graduate,” she scowled and I looked back to the ocean. The sand was lighter than any beach I’ve ever seen, the ocean frothy white and blue towards the back. I noted the deep orange sunset, immediately it captured my attention, I loved it when the sky had so many colors in it.

“You’re very passionate about singing,” I realized and she nodded. “Do you ever regret going? To meet…Yuri?” I whispered and she tensed up next to me. It was easier to talk about her, but I know a large part of Jessica was still in love with my cousin.

“I have mixed feelings. A part of me doesn’t regret it, because I finally got to see the love of my life, and everything felt so right when we were together. I finally helped her when she needed me, in person. In that little time we were actually together, able to touch and hear the other person; I’ve never felt so in love. But at the same time another, somehow larger, part of me regrets ever going to that competition, because maybe she wouldn’t have confessed to her parents and maybe we wouldn’t have gotten drunk. Maybe she wouldn’t have told me she was cheating; maybe I wouldn’t have pushed her. Maybe, she’d still be in my contacts, saved under “Seobang” and texting me like we used to,” she took out her phone and handed it to me. I looked at her, seeing her eyes become glassy and turned back to the device in my hands. I unlocked the screen and furrowed my eyebrows at the passcode screen. Why did she just give this to me without telling me her passcode? I was about to ask, when I remembered “Yuri” had 4 letters. So I pressed the numbers 9874 and was allowed access.

“So she became your passcode…” I muttered and she nodded, wiping at her eyes quickly. I scanned the beach, making sure no one took notice of her crying.

“I wanted to remember her, even after this year, after high school. I’m never changing it,” she said determinedly and I gave her back her phone. “Let’s head back to the bus, it’s getting late. The others will come when they’re ready,” she sighed and we both stood up, brushing the sand off of our pants. I sensed she didn’t want to talk about my cousin anymore, so I took her bag and followed her back to the busses without another word.

After losing a rock-paper-scissors match, Jessica and I raced into the elevators of the hotel in order to beat a crowd of tired teenagers. Our room was on the 9^th, and highest, floor so we had to make many stops before finally reaching our destination. It was almost 11 and I was ready to pass out on the bed we agreed I would take. I inserted the key, nearly missing at first, and open the door, freezing when I saw two senior girls already in the room. Dear lord, awkward Taeng is back. I nervously dragged my bag in and set it by the unoccupied bed. The two were talking amongst themselves, about one’s harassing boss, while Jessica and I prepared for bed silently. I changed into pajamas inside the tiny bathroom and performed my nightly routine at the even smaller counter space just outside the bathroom door. It was honestly so cramped. “You guys mind if I take a shower?” one girl asked.

“Nah, go ahead,” Jessica shrugged and I handed my fellow classmate two of the four pillows as well as the extra blanket.

“What the absolute heck is this shower?!” the girl suddenly shouted and the other senior laughed, walking over to the door. I smiled a bit and took a pillow into my hands to cuddle with. I know I couldn’t sleep with anyone because of my awkward sleeping habits. I tend to move a lot and I have to hold something or else I can’t sleep.

“Yah, Dana this shower is freaking me out!” the girl inside of the bathroom called and the latter, Dana, rolled her eyes.

“Lina, calm down and take your damn shower,” Dana slapped the door. They seem close. I looked down at Jessica who now set up her makeshift bed and felt guilty, even if I knew she wouldn’t switch with me. I closed my eyes and snuggled my face into the pillow. So damn tired.

“Night Sica.”

“Night Taeng.” Right before I passed out I realized that the couch that we had in the room was also a pullout bed.