Chapter 17: Heartbeat

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      My hair was tied high up with my baby hair flowing out. I looked at myself in the mirror. I went to the dance studio. The last time I was here I sprained my ankle. I shook my head at the memory. I listened to the soft music that played in the background. I slowly rotated my left foot then alternated to the right foot. I made a small leap. I let the sound of the music take over my body. The flow of energy. I did a spin and then slowly lifted my left leg up. I stopped myself from spinning and tippy-toed on my right foot with my left leg up. I looked at myself in the mirror- staying in this pose for awhile. That's when I realized; maybe it was about time that people knew about me. Maybe it was time to come out of the shadows and stop hiding.

   The lights were out and the only light that was emitted was from the mood that shone through the windows. It's bright gleaming glow casted on the spot were I was sitting. There wasn't much light but it was all the light I needed. I placed my foot down and sat on the hard wood floor close to the mirror. My one leg was propped up and I rested my head on to it. I looked at myself in the mirror again. I took my focus on my eyes. I closed them shut. I freely let the memories wash over me letting a tears escape my eyes, one after another, after another. I hugged my legs burying my face into my knees. I let all the emotion inside of me release.

"Why was everything so complicated?" I muffled between sobs.

// ... \\

    "Appa!" I screamed. I watched as the truck in front of my father and I collided together with the car we were driving in. My father hit the breaks of the car as fast as he could; creating a loud screeching noise. Before I knew it the light of the opposite car flashed into my eyes. The glass of the windows shattered and the air bags blew up in our faces. My eyes were sealed closed. Everything was happening so fast, it was was if my whole life flashes before me. My heart was beating slowly, very slowly. My body felt sore and paralyzed. It was hard for me to even breathe. With my last bits of energy I fluttered my eyes open. I saw beads of blood run down my father's face. His eyes were shut. His body laid on the steering wheel cold and lifelessly.

   I was thirteen; it was a horrid scene for me to witness. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream for help but I couldn't. My vision began to become blurry, my eyes wanting to close. My body was on a total off mode. The last thing I heard was the sound of the sirens before my body had shut down.

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"Will she be alright?" I heard the sound of a female's voice asked.

"Just give her time," The doctor answered.

   The sound of the IV was at a steady beat. I was sitting up on my bed, the lady who was talking to the doctor approached me. She came beside me my head, I didn't know who she was or why I was here or what happened. All I knew was that I was at a hospital. There was a ringing pain in my head. I felt that there was a bandage wrapped around my head. What exactly happened?

"Honey, are you okay?" The lady asked. Her voice was soft but there was a worried tone as if I was glass and she was afraid that she would break me.

"Who are you?" I asked taking her hands off me. It still hurt to move but I showed no pain.

"Your mother,"

"Why was I here? What happened to me?" I started to blurt questions out. For some reason I felt detached to her, like I haven't laid eyes on her before. She's my mother but why does she feel like a stranger to me? I questioned myself

"You got into a car accident," My mother explained on the verge of tears.

   I closed my eyes as I felt a stinging pain attack my head. I raised my hands to my head. I recalled a small memory. I was in car with a person; a male. Then suddenly a truck came racing forward, colliding with the car I was in. I saw blood and it wasn't just mine. It was the person driving. Cold and lifeless- blood ran down from his head to his body.

I let out a scream. I was crying drastically.

   My mother took me by the shoulders shaking me back to my senses. I couldn't open my eyes, I just kept crying as I let the tears flow down my cheeks. The memory kept replaying. The crash. The shatters of the glass. The blood.

"Kyungmi! Kyungmi! What's wrong?! Nurse!!" I heard my mother yell. She was worried. She was scared or even worse frightened at the way I was reacting. I had been scarred with the memory.

"My father? He- he was t-the one who was driving the car.. blood wa-as.. He- is he still alive?" I asked stuttering between sobs and sniffles. I didn't have my way with words. My mind was all over the place.

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   I watched as the people lowered his cassette into the ground. I hugged his picture with my chest. That was it. What's was done. He was dead and there was nothing I could do.

  My mom handed me a bouquet of roses. I gratefully took them from her and placed it on top of his tomb. I looked at it one last time. I inhaled and exhaled. I had cried for two days straight and it seemed as if my tears today had vanished.

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   Because of the accident I had a small case of anesthesia, although the doctor told me I'll be able to recover in a couple of weeks. There's going to be pain all over my body and due to the memory loss, there's going to be a ring through my ears which will cause me my mind to blank out every now and then. I was only told that a pounding through my head would occur but my mother explained the situation to me.

I looked around in awed. My house was fairly big. I didn't remember having such a big house. The maids brought my mother and I something to drink. I took a sip out of my drink which was orange juice. "Since when did we have such a big house?" I asked my mom, swinging my legs back and forth. My mood had upgraded to the point where I nearly forgot about my father's death.

"Sweetie," My mother said my hair. She looked at me deeply and then pulled me into a big hug. I didn't know how to respond, I pushed her off of me and gave her an odd look, "Darling, you've grown so much.. I remember the last time I saw you-"

"What do you mean last time you saw me?" My mother took a deep breath in, "Honey, well you see, your father and I weren't exactly together.. we're divorced. Now don't ever think that I left your father and you! Because there wasn't a single day where my mind wasn't occupied with you and your father. I told myself that; one day, I will come back to you both. I just didn't think we'd meet like this..." I watched as my mother sobbed into the palms of her hands.

I was shocked. No wonder we were so detached. I looked up towards the ceiling, 'Daddy, I know your in a better place now.' I rubbed my mom's back, "Don't cry! Dad told me crying was for babies, you're supposed to be a full grown woman!" I tried to joke.

She smiled at me. "You have your father's eyes and kind heart.. What do you say we go to Japan? I have a new clothing line that's soon to be prompting, we can start fresh... together," My mother suggested.

// ... \\

I felt a pair of arms flung around me. I didn't have time to react or anything, I just continued to cry. I muzzled my head into the stranger's shoulder. "Crying is for babies," I murmured.

   The stranger's arms wrapped tighter around me, I felt secured as the person began to rocked me back and forth gently, trying to comfort me, "It's okay, let it all out. I'm here for you." Youngmin said pressing a very faint kiss on to my forehead. I began to relax. I let out a louder cry. Everything that I was holding in came out.

    A figure watched outside. He held a box of tissues in his hand. 'Why do I even bother trying..' He rotated his neck trying to get the stiffness out. He let out a hard but soft sigh. He shut the door lightly to the entrance and left the box of tissues on the ground. He reached inside his pocket, gripping the on the necklace Jae gave him. His heart clenched.

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Okay, so after ten billion years I decided to update- sorry for the long wait school has been making me put it off. So here's a little chapter, I really hope you'll enjoy. Thanks to the new subscribers btw!

Don't forget to leave a comment down below and subscribe if you haven't yet.

xxx