Description:
It wasn't always rainbows and unicorns and marshmallows in their lives. 

Foreword:
"You should've stopped me long ago."

"Why is he in your couch?" Asked the manager who stopped by at Seunghyun’s home for a schedule briefing.

"Sshhh.." Seunghyun frowned and pressed a finger against his lips. But the frown softens as he glances down at the sleeping man "He's caught a cold. He showed up at my doorstep looking like a wet puppy."

"Doesn't he-" the manager stopped half-sentence because Seunghyun clicked his tongue and frowned again. So he repeats himself in a hush tone. "Doesn't he have a...boyfriend?"

Seunghyun turns and glares at him again. 

The manager laughs. "Well, if I fall sick, I would seek for my girlfriend and ask her to pamper me back to health." He slid on the backpack containing the stuff he stopped by for. "I mean, that’s just me, but wouldn't you do the same?"

Seunghyun glances back down to the couch; the dark brown hair tousled on the side of the man's face, eyes tightly shut, mouth slightly parted from having to breathe through his mouth. He's covered under a comforter up to his neck.

Would I do the same? Seunghyun asks himself and shrugs mentally. Well I'd go to my mom but maybe because I don't have anyone else. So...maybe?

The manager pats Seunghyun on his back, taking him out of his thoughts. "Well, I'll go now." He walks toward the door with Seunghyun tailing behind. "Good luck with that. Call me if you need any help, okay?" He added as he grabs on Seunghyun's shoulder for support to put his shoes on.

"Yeah.." He waved the manager off when the man flashes him a meaningful smirk before he went out the door.

Seunghyun padded back into the living room and perches onto the edge of the coffee table, facing the occupied couch. He sighs at remembering how tired the boy looked some hours ago when he showed up at the door. He let him use the shower and lent some clothes. He even prepared some soup, edible enough to warm the shivering boy up. He made sure that he took the medicine, put on a pair of fluffy socks and tucked him in with the comforter. He offered to use his bed but the boy refused with a weak smile, “I don’t wanna contaminate your bed. You’ll fall sick too. The couch is fine.”

The medicine should be wearing off now and it’s time to take another dose. Seunghyun needs to wake him up.

“Ji..” He slid a hand against the boy’s cheek, noticing the temperature has gone down a little. “Jiyong..” He called out again, rubbing his thumb against the cheekbone.

A soft hum and a stir; Jiyong blinks up at Seunghyun.

“It’s time to take your meds again.”

“It is?” Jiyong’s voice croaked. He moves to sit up and Seunghyun quickly latches next to him to give a hand causing Jiyong to chuckle. “Hyung, relax. I’m feeling better now. How long have I been out?”

“Three hours.”

“Oh..” Jiyong raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised that he’s been asleep for that long, and puffed out his cheeks a little.

“Let me get you the meds and some water.” Seunghyun rose from the table. “I still have the soup if you want some more.”

“Oh, no thanks. I’m good.”

“Here you go.” Seunghyun returned with three pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

Jiyong scrunches up his face. “I hate taking meds.”

“Stop complaining. It’s your own fault for falling sick. So shut it.”

Jiyong whines but gulps down the pills in one go. Seunghyun took the glass from him and went back to the kitchen.

"Yikes, my hands are all pale." He turned his hands over and back up again. "And they seem smaller too."

Seunghyun huffs a laugh, walking back into the living room. "Your hands are always small." He waves his right hand in front of Jiyong and takes the seat next to him.

“Let me see!” Jiyong chuckles as he grabs Seunghyun’s hands and place it palm down on his left palm.

“See!”

Jiyong fakes a pout. “Yeah..my hands are smaller.” He turned their pressed hands side to side animatedly.

Seunghyun can’t explain what’s wrong with him when his fingers slip and lace with Jiyong’s. It’s awkward but it feels right at the same time. And he doesn’t feel like he’s doing anything wrong because Jiyong let him. The latter didn’t pull his away. Instead, he wraps his fingers around Seunghyun’s even tighter.

Their hands stayed tangled long enough for the awkward moment to turn into a comfortable silent. They’re both obviously content with each other’s company.

But of course Seunghyun had to go and ruin it all.

"Stop seeing him." Seunghyun muttered out of a sudden, low and breathy but loud enough to break the silence. Although his voice sounded like steel of courage, his eyes, on the other hand, are cowards and shivering like a leaf. They stayed locked on the coffee table as their owner's almighty voice continues. "If he can't take care of you, you should just stop seeing him."

“Hyung, don’t.” Gone was the blissful seven seconds of heaven. Jiyong retracts his hand from Seunghyun’s. “He’s fine. I can take care of myself.”

“Can you?” Seunghyun snapped. “Do you have any idea how horrible you look right now? You’ve lost weight; you look tired all the time, and don’t even try to lie to me because these dark circles under your eyes gave you away.”

Jiyong sighed heavily. “It’s just work. It’s been a lot lately, you know that. I just need some rest.”

“And you came here. Why didn’t you go to him?”

“So I can’t come here anymore because I’m in a relationship with someone?” Jiyong is starting to get annoyed with Seunghyun’s sudden outburst.

“Ji, that’s not what I meant..”

“What did you mean then? Tell me!”

"I can't just watch you wag your tail around someone who doesn't care about you, who doesn’t appreciate you!" Seunghyun yelled out.

Jiyong gasped; startled. He blinks a few times, trying to process what he just heard. Then his shoulders slump; a slight pout formed on his lips. "Don’t worry about me. I can endure that." He ducks his head a little, searching for Seunghyun's gaze and locked on them. "That's nothing compared to wagging my tail around someone who doesn't even notice. For years." He leans back against the couch, still holding Seunghyun's gaze. "That hurts a thousand times more."

Seunghyun's eyes darted between Jiyong's. He’s seeking for even a slight hint of a stupid prank and he would punch this tiny person in front of him if he thinks this is funny. But it's not there. What are apparent in those beautiful pair of brown eyes are the b tears.

“Can’t you see it?” Jiyong’s voice almost came out like a whimper. “At all?”

Seunghyun looked away. But Jiyong’s not gonna let it go this time. He’s tired of tossing hints in Seunghyun’s oblivious way to have them ignored anymore. Since they are already on the subject, Jiyong is gonna stay on. So he scooted closer.

“Hyung,” he ducks his head again, but Seunghyun avoided his eyes. “Hyung, look at me.”

“Jiyong, just go back to sleep. You need your rest.” Seunghyun rose from the couch and ready to walk away, but Jiyong was quick to mirror him and stood right in his path.

“Hyung.”

“Enough, Jiyong!” Seunghyun snapped again. He turned around to face Jiyong furiously. “This isn’t funny! And in case you forgot, you have a boyfriend!”

“You are funny!” Jiyong retorted just as fierce. “You can’t watch me suffer and you told me to stop. But apparently no one in your eyes is good enough for me! You don’t approve any of them. What exactly do you want me to do?”

“Ask yourself.” Seunghyun muttered between his greeted teeth. “Whether I approve or not and what I say does not matter.”

Jiyong scoffs. “Believe it or not, it does. Because you matter to me. I’ve asked myself what I want, who I want, a countless times and I get the same answer every time. Never a different name. Not even once. Not then, not even now. No matter what circumstances I was in.”

Seunghyun is lost for words with his eyes locked on Jiyong’s now teary ones. This is Jiyong’s first outburst about this. He couldn’t think of anything to say.

Jiyong shakes his head when Seunghyun just remained stoic in his spot. “I should go.” Jiyong plops back down onto the couch and pulls his socks off.

Only then Seunghyun starts to react. “Ji, no. Stay. You’re still sick. Come on, don’t go.”

“Forget it. My life is filled with people who don’t care about me, who don’t appreciate me. What makes you any different?”

“I care! You have no idea how bad it hurts to see you like this.” Seunghyun is already grabbing on Jiyong’s frail wrists, stopping him from stepping away. But Jiyong pulls away his hands.

“You’re right, I don’t. I don’t know whatever is going on in your head because you never let me in. My life is a shameless open book that anyone could read from a mile away. But however, to you, it seems like a cryptic ancient novel written in a dead language that you can’t seem to figure out. Are you that oblivious?” Jiyong gathers his stuff in his hands and is ready to go.

Seunghyun grabs on Jiyong’s hands once again. “Jiyong, stop.” He made sure the grip is tight enough not to let him slip again.

Jiyong squirms to free his hands. “I have to go. Let me go!”

“Jiyong, stop.” Seunghyun pulls up a hand to tilt Jiyong’s face up. “I said stop. Jiyong!”

And then before his brain could stop him from doing the most impulsive thing he’s gonna do in his life, Seunghyun realizes his lips was already pressed against Jiyong’s. He could hear the chaos in his head and the deafening sound of his heartbeat. But somehow the kiss calmed Jiyong down; he stopped struggling to free his hands and all of his stuff that he gathered earlier, dropped to the floor in a loud thud.

Seunghyun pulls away abruptly. His eyes gaze down on Jiyong frantically. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

“No. Don’t.” Jiyong cut him off by pulling him back into another kiss. Seunghyun stiffens and Jiyong must’ve sensed it so he pulls away. He looks up at Seunghyun with hopeful eyes. He leans up and brushes his lips against Seunghyun, nudging their nose together. “Don’t you wanna kiss me back?”

Jiyong waits. He’s getting impatient, but he waits. He wanted to just ravish Seunghyun’s lips right then and there, but he waits. He wanna make sure that Seunghyun wants this too. He flicked his gaze up at Seunghyun’s. Fear, confusion and excitement; all fused together.

Seunghyun swallowed hard. He’s been dreaming about this but he was just fine to settle for it to be just a dream. Never had he thought that it would happen. Jiyong wants me to kiss him. And looking into Jiyong’s eyes right now, dilated pupils surrounded by light brown irises, is such an encouragement for him to lean forward and obey. So when Jiyong crowded his personal space and pressed their bodies together, Seunghyun didn’t protest. Instead, he cups Jiyong’s face in his hands and kisses him. Sweet and languid at first, and then feisty and possessive when Jiyong rises himself on his toes and wraps his arms around Seunghyun’s neck.

They pull away after almost, a minute? An hour? None is keeping track.

"You should've stopped me long ago." Jiyong hugged Seunghyun tightly and mumbled against his ear.

“Stop you?” Seunghyun peels himself away to look at Jiyong’s face. “From what?”

“From seeing anybody else. I could’ve saved a lot of heart breaks.”

Seunghyun smiles softly. “Sorry.”

Jiyong hums and pulls Seunghyun back into the hug. “Apology accepted.”

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