~Eunmi~

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"Her condition has gotten better.."

I heard someone talking, from a far away place. A woman and a man.

"I think she's waking up.." I heard the male voice say

I frowned a bit while my eyes were closed. My entire body felt heavy and all.. sticky.. and.. somehow.. kind of.. soar

I heard the monitor beeping next to me and I kind of recognized the sound

My chest was the heaviest. It was aching but not that rough, I could at least breathe

The beeping sound started to sound louder in my ears and the voices was getting clearer

"She's waking up!" I heard someone say

Suddenly I felt someone's hand my left hand

I felt different in a way. I don't know how but just different.. Like I was .. newborn?

"Eunmi.. If you hear me.. please move your finger" I heard the male voice say

Finger?

Wait.. give me a second will you.. my conscious are coming back

"Good girl..."

I lifted my finger? Not even i noticed it

"Please open your eyes Eunmi.."

My eyes..

Slowly I opened them and to my surprise, I saw a white pale gray ceiling. My eyes wandered around and I saw the window. Outside it was all gray but it wasn't raining and the curtains were on the sides to let some light in.

I looked around and everywhere, I saw Balloons, flowers, chocolates..

Wow..

My eyes landed on the doctor who was standing next to my bed, looking at me

"Eunmi~~ssi.. do you understand what I am saying?" He asked

"Please blink two times with your eyes if you do"

I did as I was told and he smiled at me

"Does it hurt anywhere?" He asked

I sighed . Why all these questions?

I raised my hand who was connected with some kind of needle and I put it on my chest.

"It hurts on your chest?" He asked

I blinked twice

The female doctor came closer then and removed my oxygen mask

"I'm going to help you to sit up. Do you think you can manage that?" She asked

I looked at her for a bit and tried to feel if there was any pain in my chest. It was soar but it wasn't impossible

I blinked twice again

She pressed the button and slowly, the whole bed changed and I was sitting in 90 degrees, facing the doctors

Both of them watched me and took down notes

"How are you feeling?"

I coughed lightly

"I'm.. fine" I stuttered

"Do you know.. when your birthday is?" She asked

I nodded

"14th May" I said

"When were you born..?"

"1990" I said

"Your family?"

"I'm the only.. child" I said

"Friends?"

I quieten and looked at them

"My friends?" I asked

They waited for my answer

"Changmin..."

I stared out of the blow when it suddenly hit me

"Where is he?" I asked

"Nugu?"

"Changmin.. My.. boyfriend" I said and looked at them

They looked at each other then at me

"He's at the moment overseas traveling with JAeJoong~~ssi, Yunho~~ssi, Junsu~~ssi and Yoochun~~ssi.. He will be back in 3 weeks.." She smiled

"Bwoh?"

It suddenly hit me . Hospital.. all these flowers.. all these balloons..

I swallowed

"What happened to me?" I asked

The male doctor sighed

"You fainted.. and fell into coma.."

I stared at him

"Bw www oh?"

He nodded

"You've been in coma for the last 4 days, slipping in and out of, you had a heart attack as well.. and it's a miracle that you woke up today.."

"Where's my parents?" I asked

"They're right outside.. We were kind of expecting you to wake up today or tomorrow" She smiled

"I .. want to meet them.." I mumbled

Both of the doctors nodded and went outside

Soon, mom and dad entered and never in my life, I've seen dad and mom cry like they did today

Never in my life had I seen mom and dad cry like this..

Mom hugged me carefully as she cried and dad just stood there, wiping away his tears

"Mom.. it's ok.." I whispered

"Oh sweetheart..." Mom said and kissed me

I hugged dad too

I looked around in the room but for some reason, I felt that something was missing.. really really missing..

"Mom.." I said and looked at her

"Yes?" Mom said and wiped away her tears

"Did I miss something?"

She looked at me

"Like what dear?"

"I'm just... feeling.. strange.. very very strange.." I said

Mom didn't say anything but just kept tapping me lightly

"Mom.. where is.. Changmin?" I asked

Mom looked at me for a minute

"he's overseas dear.. with his Hyungs.. they'll be back soon" Mom whispered softly

"Where did.. he go?" I asked

Mom sighed

"He has been watching over you. But everything was too much for him so his Hyungs decided to take him away to rest for a bit. They went to Greece. They'll be back soon sweetheart.. Don't worry about him.."

"But.. I.. want to talk to him.." I whispered

"It's not possible at the moment.. he needs to rest sweetie.. but he was here, watching over you everyday" Mom said

Mom started to cry a bit more which surprised me.. and dad was crying hard as well.

"Why.. are you crying so much?" I asked

Mom shook her head

"You're awake.."

The doctor came in again, asked mom and dad to talk to them and fill in some papers.

They left me alone in the room and I pressed the button to lie down on the bed again

Something was really strange. I just couldn't put my finger on it.. but I was.. feeling.. empty.. and somehow.. my heart was aching..

Slowly i raised my hand to feel my chest and I felt some kind of scar

I looked under my hospital shirt and saw a scar

A tear fell down as I slowly started to realize what had happened

"Did I get.. a heart transplant?" I whispered

When mom and dad entered with the doctors I looked up slowly

"Did .. I?" I whispered

The doctors nodded

"Who's the patience?" I whispered with tears in my eyes

"I'm sorry.. we cannot.. tell you that.." The male doctor said

I started to cry and covered my face in happiness, tears of joy falling and I was thankful.. to the person who gave me one..

The days kept passing and I didn't hear a word from Changmin or the other guys . Mom and dad was concentrating on getting me healthy and was very overprotective even though I insisted I was fine.

Everyday, I thanked God for giving me a heart transplant and also, I was grateful for the person who donated my heart

As I got discharged from the hospital, I stared outside the window waiting for dad and mom.

I was feeling empty.. and at loss. I needed Changmin beside me..

I put my hand where the heart was beating

"Thank you.." I whispered

As soon as dad and mom arrived, they took me home, and I somehow felt strange being at home.

I don't know what was wrong with me, But I started to cry for no reason and I couldn't stop it .

Mom and dad was worried but I assured them that it was nothing and that it was just emotions.. and the hormones..

As I was sitting in my room, I started to think of Changmin

Not calling me or talking to me was a bit weird and this wasn't him.

I sighed

Something was missing.. but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Sometimes I found mom and dad crying but they didn't know, and I also noticed the times they kind of sneaked away just to talk.

It suddenly hit me, that I wanted to go back to the campus. I grabbed my coat and went downstairs and passed the kitchen

"Where are you going?" Mom asked

I looked at her

"I'm.. just going out for a drive.." I said

Mom looked at me for a very long time before nodding

I grabbed the car keys and went outside.

As I was driving, I started to feel tense and I noticed that my breathing changed

"Something's .. wrong.."

I couldn't put my finger on it, but ever since I woke up, something was wrong. But everyone was acting like it was nothing..

I parked the car at the parking plot and got out.

As I started to walk, I suddenly passed the corner and there was Changmin's and his hyung's dorms.

I searched through my coat to find my keys and luckily I had one key to their dorm that Changmin had given me

I hurried to the dorm. I pressed down the doorknob and it was locked. I took out the key and opened the door and entered

It was completely dark in the whole house.

I don't know why I was here but my feet somehow got me here and I was somehow, following my instincts and thoughts. I took off my shoes and closed the door and entered

I could hear sounds.

A soft piano playing

Music.. Piano playing

It came from the speakers. As I slowly entered, to my surprise I saw someone sitting on the couch, covering his face

I stared at the person for a very long time before turning the lights on. The person hadn't noticed that I was there

When the person looked up I gasped

"Jaaa a ae Joong?"

JaeJoong's eyes were all swollen and his lips were trembling as his nose was red

His eyes widened when he saw me and he flew up from the couch

"It's.. yo u u " He stuttered

I stared at him and suddenly Junsu and Yoochun entered

"JaeJoong.. you.."

Junsu quieten when he saw me. Well Yoochun and Junsu were staring

All of them were staring

But their eyes.. were.. all swollen as well

"What.. happened to you?" I whispered and stared at them

No one said anything and soon i saw Yunho coming from his bedroom while wiping away his tears

"Hey why are you.. all.."

Yunho stopped talking when he saw what the rest of the guys were looking at .. Me

"Eunmi.." He whispered

Something was wrong. They were crying.. and I had never seen them crying like this before

"Why are you.. here..?" I asked

No one answered

"I thought you were overseas .. with.."

My eyes widened as I stared at them

I swallowed

Suddenly I had a flashback.

The Rink...

Love in the Ice..

Kiss..

Outfits..

Changmin fainted.. Ambulance..

My eyes widened in shock as tears started to take form in my eyes..

"Where is Changmin?" I whispered

No one answered

I felt my heart starting to beat faster as I tried to hold back my tears

"Where... is... he?" I said a bit louder

"Eunmi... We.." Yunho started

"WHERE IS HE?!?!?!" I shouted and pushed away his comforting hand

No one answered

I stared at them . Then my feet started to walk. I walked right through them and ran into his bedroom

As I opened his door, it was empty. No Changmin.. only his furniture

Why did my heart feel empty at the moment?

I went back to the livingroom

"Where is he?" I asked again, this time with tears streaming down my face

The guys started to cry again but Yunho got a hand on himself and took a deep breath

"I'll.. take you to him.."

I was quiet. I followed them and got into Yunho's car as he was driving while the rest of the guys and I was sitting quietly.

I was afraid what was waiting for me. I didn't know where we were going but I was afraid. This wasn't good.. at all..

Suddenly, he parked somewhere not far away from the Han River. I went outside and soon spooky feelings were wandering down my spine as I suddenly realized where we were

The cemetery

"Why.. are we here?" i whispered

Junsu grabbed my hand as Yunho took the other one.

Slowly we followed the pavement down the road and turned right. After walking just a few more feet, all of them stopped

Yunho looked down on the ground as the others did the same

I followed their gaze and saw a white Stone.

It took my breath away. My heart stopped beating as I stared at it. The whole world stopped as I let go of Yunho's and Junsu's hands

tears fell unconsciously

"Shim Changmin 1988.02.18 - 2008.01.28
Beloved son and Brother
Rest In Peace" I read

I stared at the stone as I was shaking. My fists were enfolded

"What date is it today?" I whispered

"10 February" Yoochun choked

I started to cry harder

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!" I shouted and faced them

All of them were crying

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!" I shouted as I pointed at the graveyard

Yunho shook his head

"EXPLAIN!! !!EVERYONE TOLD ME YOU GUYS WERE OVERSEAS!!!" I shouted as I cried

Yunho looked at me

"Changmin.. had a tumor.."

"Wha...tt?" I stammered

"Changmin had tumor growing inside of his head. It was growing into his brain.. he was dying.." Yoochun said as he wiped away his tears

"He fainted that day at the rink. So did you.. You fell into coma.. he woke up.." Junsu choked

I stared at them

"He was dying.. and didn't have much time left" JaeJoong said

I felt my lips shaking as I tried to take in the words

"It's not true.. he would've told me.." I stammered

"he never got the chance. I was planning to tell you the same day at the rink but.. then he fainted.." Yoochun said

I shook my head

"Oppa would've told me!" I shouted at them

All of us cried as we tried to control our legs, so that we could stand up

"Changmin was dying and there was nothing they could do.." JaeJoong said as he wiped away his tears with his sleeve

"He died.. about 1,5 week ago" Yunho said as he burst out into tears

I didn't believe it

I stared at them

"NO! IT'S NOT TRUE! HE'S OVERSEAS!! WITH YOU GUYS!" I shouted

Junsu walked over to me as I cried but i pushed him away and was hitting him, and he was letting me

"HE'S NOT DEAD HE'S HERE WITH ME! HE'S OVERSEAS! THE DOCTORS TOLD ME THAT!!" I shouted angrily as I was crying

My strength subsided and I fell down where Changmin's graveyard stone was and I leaned onto the stone

"It's not true. it's not.." I cried and leaned my forehead against it

I heard the guys crying hard behind me aswell

My tears refused to stop

"Why did I have to fall into Coma! WHY!!" I shouted angrily

JaeJoong walked over to me as he was crying, trying to pull me up and he hugged me tightly as I cried onto his shoulder

"He's.. alive.. he promised never to leave me!" I cried

I released myself from JaeJoong's grip and fell down where the stone was and started to hit the grass

"It's not true.. it's not true!!" I cried

I couldn't describe with words how I was feeling..
I didn't have anything to live for anymore.. Not anything at all

"You can't.. leave me this way.." I cried

Both of my hands were on the grass as I was crouched onto the grass, crying my heart out

"YOU PROMISED THAT YOU NEVER LEAVE ME!!"

I cried harder

"He never left you.." JaeJoong said behind me

Junsu came towards me and helped me up

"What do you mean?" i whispered

"Do you know who donated that heart for you?" Yunho whispered as a silent tear fell down his cheek

I put my hand where the heart was beating and stared at him

Everything started to fall on their right place

Tears fell down even faster this time but I didn't move, didn't say anything and didn't utter a word. I didn't sob. I just stood there in front of them as the tears were falling

The heart was beating, healthy and safe

I was safe

"It's Changmin's heart.."