~Changmin~

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It was 11 am .. and I was waiting at the entrance for the taxi to come to pick me up. I had asked permission to get out just for the day since I wanted to do some stuff .. I was afraid of time.. and the time of being with my family ..

As soon as I saw the taxi coming, I waved at it and it pulled over and I got in.

First, I went back to the campus, to the college and I told the driver to stop outside Eunmi's place.

I thanked him and paid for the ride and went inside. I took out the keys and unlocked the door and went in.

The scent of her.. Eunmi.. flew at me and I breathed it all in deeply as I entered, closed the door behind me.. Slowly I started to wander around in the collegeroom..

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~Junsu~

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I was helping Changmin's mother to settle the table as JaeJoong and yunho hyung were helping his father and his Grandmother preparing the food

"Hey.. isn't Changmin going to be here soon?" Yoochun asked

I shrugged

"He said he was going to leave the hospital at 2.. so he'll be here soon I think" i said

We kept settling the table and after we finished, we prepared the food

"CAll him.. !" JaeJoong said

I took my phone and went to the livingroom just to have some peace.

Changmin had called his mother yesterday and asked to have a special dinner with the family and the members. Of course we couldn't turn him down and his mother who was worried all the time didn't say no. She took the day off and so did his dad and we had been preparing the meal the whole morning..

I was anxious and scared for every minute that kept passing since I was afraid to loose time with him but i tried my hardest to show him a strong side.

"Yoboseyo?"

"Oh.. Hyung"

"Yah.. odeyo?"

"I'm on my way.." Changmin said tiredly

"Hey.. gwenchana?"

"Nae~~.. I'll see you soon"

I hung up while staring at the phone

Something was wrong with Changmin. His voice sounded in a way thick.. and it sounded like he had been crying..

I sighed

"Hey.. Junsu~ah .. Gwenchana?"

Yoochun tapped me on my shoulder as I faced him

"I don't know.. I have a feeling.. Changmin isn't feeling great at all.." I said

Yoochun sighed

"Otoke?" He mumbled

I shrugged

"I don't like feeling helpless.." I said

"me too"

JaeJoong said that as he entered with Yunho and we all gathered in a circle and sighed

"I don't like seeing him suffer.. first Eunmi.. now him.." JaeJoong said

"Life is really unfair.. Damn.. it" Yunho cursed

"What are we going to do now then?" Yoochun asked

"There's nothing we can do.. except.. trying to act normal..and just.. make this time valuable.. as possible.."

Suddenly I heard the front door open and I heard his sisters scream his name

"hwaiting!" I said

The other agreed and went to the hall to greet him

Just like I had predicted, his eyes was swollen and his nose was red. But he was smiling anyway and he greeted his family and us like he usually does

"Whoa.. it's a lot!" He smiled happily when he saw the table full of dishes

"I did most of it" I laughed

"Right.. You don't even know how to boil water" JaeJoong rolled his eyes

Changmin laughed happily

We all sat down around the table and started to eat happily. We talked about everything, about how the members met, how Changmin used to be when he was younger and how we ended up living with each other in the university

His mom and dad was trying to smile but I could see the tears all the time but they never fell and they were holding it back

Changmin struggled a lot too but I think it was worse for his sisters. Even though they were young, somehow they kind of noticed that something was approaching and they were trying to talk to Changmin and just spending time with him as much as possible

Suddenly a cellphone started to ring and Changmin took out his phone

We all looked curiously at him as he stood up, excused himself and went into the hallway to talk

"Nugu?" I asked

Everybody sighed

"Don't.. know" JaeJoong said

We sat and waited for Changmin who was on the phone for almost 30 minutes

When he finally came back he smiled at us

"Mianhe~~ Just the doctor checking" he said

We laughed

AFter the dinner, we cleaned the table and decided to play with his sisters so we pulled out the game Twister.

His mother was taking pictures as Changmin and Yoochun Hyung were playing with his sisters.

After about an hour of playing Changmin was tired of loosing and jaeJoong winning so we decided to have some karaoke.

We sang at the top of our lungs and laughed when we got off tune which happened pretty often

"Why don't you sing .. a song you guys usually sing together?" Changmin's grandma asked

I looked at Changmin as he smiled

"Sure. . why not?"

"I really liked the song you sang at the Winter concert. How about singing that one?" His grandma said as a tear fell

I think all of us were getting a bit emotional since we knew he had to return to the hospital.

His mother the cd and gave us 5 mics

"Omma.. when did you buy 3 more mics?" CHangmin asked

His mother laughed

"It's your aunt's. I just borrowed it" His mother smiled

"WE'RE HERE!!"

I looked at the door to see his Aunt and Uncle entering with their 2 sons. Changmin smiled widely as they entered and he greeted them and hugged his cousins

"They're just about to sing. BALI!" His mother said

All of us laughed as his family sat down

The first notes to the song Love In The Ice was heard and JaeJoong started off softly and beautifully. His sisters were swaying along to the music and his father were recording it all..

I decided to put out all of my emotions into this song. Expressing all the burdens on my shoulders, all the pain I was feeling inside..

I knew .. the members knew.. we all knew we were going to loose Changmin..

Just because of that damn tumor..

When it came to my high note part, Tears started to fall and his family was crying as well. Changmin was crying.. in fact.. everyone was crying..

But we sang til' the end and when the song ended all of the members gathered around him and hugged him tightly as we cried

"We love you.. " Yunho whispered

"I love you too" CHangmin sobbed

We let go of him as his parents, his family ran to him and hugged him tightly

His mother kept kissing him and his two sisters were hugging each side of him tightly. Also crying.. but I don't know if they knew why

He hugged his grandma who was crying the most and she kissed him too. Several times on his forehead and kept telling him that she is proud of the person that he had become

The members and I started to feel a bit awkward so we decided to move out to the hallway to let the family spend some time alone..

As we were standing in the hallway, we were hugging each other while crying..

"This is just not right.." Yunho cried..

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~Changmin~

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I sat down on the couch and looked at my family..

"Omma.. Appa.. Aunt.. Ommo-ni.. Uncle.. Family" I whispered while crying

Mom was holding my hand while Grandma was holding the other

"I love you.. I just want you to know that.." I said

"We love you too son" Dad said and tapped my on my shoulder

"I'm so proud of you.." Mom said and kissed my cheek again

I sighed

"Mom.. dad.. can I ask you a favor?" I sobbed and wiped away my tears

It felt like my heart was going to break into pieces any minute but I had to say it..

"Anything .." Mom sobbed

I took a deep breath

"If.. I.."

The word 'Die' sounded so wrong in my mouth .. The whole family was crying but I had to say it..

"If.. I.. die.."

At the word die the whole family started to cry harder and from the doorentrance to the livingroom, I saw my hyungs standing there and crying hardly as well

I cried harder

"If I die.. promise.. me.. to go on.. live.. happily.. think of good memories of me.." mY voice choked and it disappeared

Mom hugged me tightly as she cried

"Don't say these things !" Mom cried

I wiped away my tears and hugged her tightly as I tried to smile..

"I've lived happily.. Thank you.. everybody" I said and looked at everyone

No one could hold back their tears and was crying hardly

"Take care of Eunmi for me ok?"

I looked at everyone, at my family and my members

"Take care of her if she wakes up.. " I whispered

Just the thought of that I might not be able to see her smile again smashed my heart into pieces and I couldn't bear the pain inside my chest.

I stared to cry harder and i stood up. The members walked over to me and hugged me tightly

"Hyung.. take care of her.."

When I had calmed myself down, and everyone else, the whole family and the members followed me back to the hospital .
As I reached mine and Eunmi's floor, I didn't directly go to my room. Instead, I stopped at her room and inside the room, I saw her parents standing there with the whole family. All of them were crying.

I knocked lightly and entered and greeted them

"Oh.. Changmin.." Her mother came towards me and kissed me on my forehead and hugged me

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" She asked

I nodded

"I am.. I was just visiting her.." I said

I stood right next to her as I saw her family crying ..

"You brought an angel to this world Mrs Park and Mr Park" I said and looked at them

They looked at me

"An angel.. with the purest, kindest heart.." I whispered as a tear fell

I sighed

The monitor kept beeping , making my heart beat faster.. afraid that it must stop

"Eunmi changed my life in so many ways.. I'm so lucky that I've met her.. and you" I said and looked at her family. Her grandparents.. her parents.. her cousins and ahjummas. Aunt's.. uncles..

"I'm grateful for having her in my life.. and I'm so glad that I got to meet her.. she changed me.. in so many ways.. the perspective .. of life.. how to live and spend it.. how .. love can be.. this beautiful.. " I sobbed and wiped away the tears

"I never saw the value of love.. before I met her.. I always thought.. that it would come when it was time.. that I had my whole life ahead of me.. but I was wrong.. Now when I'm dying.. I see how magical love is.. and I'm grateful that I met her.."

I looked at her family as all of them were crying

"She's an angel.. and she saved me.. "

Her mother couldn't hold back her tears and walked towards me and hugged me tightly as I was crying onto her shoulder

"You're such a beautiful young man, Changmin. I now see why she fell in love with you.." She said

Her dad gave me a hug as well

"You're the only guy I would've approved as my son in law.." He said

My heart got smashed again, not because of pain but this time out of happiness

"She loves you Changmin. She always talked about you.. We love you.. We saw you as a son.. and ever since you entered her life.. we've noticed the changes in her life.. We love you.." Her mother said

With those words, another ocean of tears fell down on my cheeks as I cried harder

After a few minutes, the family went outside since they decided to let me have some time with Eunmi.

I sat down on her bed while crying and took her hand

"It's Oppa.."

The only answer I got was the beeping

"At the moment.. I know that there is no chance for me to see you smile again, feel the touch of your hands or you embracing me tightly.. I also know at the moment, that there is no chance for me .. to feel your kiss again.. "

I squeezed her hand tightly as I cried

"Just the thought of.. being away from you.. breaks my heart you know.."

I looked at her as she was sleeping

"I've never realized how much I needed you.. and seeing you like.. this.. I wish I could trade place with you.. I'm sorry.. for all of those times I hurt you.. I never did it on purpose.. and I've always tried my best to make you happy.. .."

I kissed her hand as I continued:

"I'm sorry for not telling you about my disease.. but I never got the chance.. since we both ended up on this hospital.. I'm so sorry.."

I leaned forward to kiss her cheek. When I pulled away my chin was resting onto her shoulder as I cried

"I don't know if you're able to hear me.. but I love you.. I love you.. "

I saw the necklace that she was wearing and the ring on her finger

I kissed her necklace and I kissed her ring.

I leaned forward, kissed both of her cheeks, her nose, her forehead and at last her lips.

I leaned my forward onto hers and cried harder

"I love you.."

After 10 minutes, I got a hand on myself and stood up. I looked at her all the way to the door, afraid that if I might collapse, she would be the last thing I saw

I didn't know if the death was near, but I was afraid..

As soon as I got outside of the door, I saw my parents and her parents crying hard as all of them were hugging each other

All of them looked at me as I stepped outside

I nodded and I hugged everyone good night before going to my own room. Everyone followed me and outside, I looked at them before going in.

"I love you.. and thank you" I whispered

I hugged everybody and the members were crying hardly

"IT's not time yet" Yoochun sobbed

I shook my head

"I just want you to know. . I don't know.. how long I have left.." I whispered

Soon the nurses came and told them that the visiting time was over.

I looked at my family.. Eunmi's family..

Both of our lives..

The last glance I received from my hyungs before they went outside was a glance of love. They all nodded at me

I nodded back and went inside the room.

I changed into my hospital clothes and lied down on the bed.

A tear fell down as I looked at the bracelet that Eunmi had given me

She told me that this was her heart. I had her heart in my hands..

I started to remember the words she said when we celebrated christmas.

Her words were echoing inside my head. I looked at the bracelet and soon I fell asleep while crying..