~Eunmi~

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It was all silent and no one said anything. Not even me.
Changmin's expression wasn't easy to read but somehow I was afraid what he was going to say

I looked at Junsu who gulped and looked at Changmin

I took one step forward and the first reaction from Changmin was that he backed

I felt the tears start well up inside of me and I have never.. in my life been so afraid of anything.

I couldn't even describe with words the way he was looking at me at the moment. I knew that Yoochun, Yunho and JaeJoong was surprised and shocked as well but I needed to explain to Changmin first before saying anything to them.

I stopped and cosed my eyes and opened to look at him again

He dropped his schoolbag to the floor

And now, he started to move. First, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and then he looked up

"Tell me what is going on.." HE whispered and looked at me

His gaze was hard

I looked at him

"I.. .."

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" He shouted, more fierce this time

I could see tears welling up in his eyes

"HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME?!"

I shook my head in frustration

"NO I HAVEN'T!"

"THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU SAID ANYTHING?!" He shouted, even angrier.

His voice broke

I started to cry and looked at him

"I couldn't.." I whispered

"YOU COULDN'T?!"

I nodded slowly

"What is going on ? Why have you been visiting the hospital?"

I looked at him

He was crying now.

Tears were falling

"I.. have.. a heart disease.." I said and looked straight at him

He didn't say anything back

I looked at the guys behind him as well

"I have a heart disease" I said a bit louder

All the guys stared at me

"But... that.. is .. impossible.. You're.. only 18.." Yoochun stammered

I shook my head

"My heart is weak.. and I'm currently on the waiting list for a heart transplant.." I said and looked at Changmin

He stared at me

"My heart becomes weaker everyday .. and my condition has.. become worse.." I said and looked at Changmin

He stared at me as if he didn't believe his ears.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" He choked

I saw his fists enfolded

I tried to get a hang on myself and face him.

"You weren't suppose to find out this way" I whispered and looked at him

He looked to the side

"Was I even suppose to find out at all?" he asked

"OF COURSE YOU WERE! BUT NOT THIS WAY!!" I said

"THEN WHEN?!?!!? WHEN YOU'RE ON THE OPERATION TABLE?!?!?!" He shouted at me

I started to cry harder

"I'm sorry.. I was just afraid.. that you.."

"THAT I WHAT?! EUNMI!! I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND! I'M SUPPOSE TO BE BY YOUR SIDE THROUGH EVERYTHING!! WHERE'S THE TRUST?!?!?!" He shouted

"But I just couldn't.. I was afraid.. I.." I stuttered while crying

He laughed sarcastically

"Afraid? Of me? So that is how you feel about me?" He said coldly

I had never seen this side of him and it made me even more hurt and it all was just becoming worse. He turned and used all my words against me

"But.. Please.. understand.."

He shook his head

"AND NOW I'M SUPPOSE TO BE UNDERSTANDABLE?!! I COULD HAVE BEEN IF YOU TOLD ME EARLIER! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SNEAKING AROUND LIKE THIS?!?!?" HE shouted

I started to cry harder

"Yah Changmin.. Calm down" Yunho said

"NO!!! I WANT THE TRUTH EUNMI!! TELL ME?! HOW LONG?!" He shouted

I didn't dare to look at him at the moment. It was.. scary.. this side of him was scary..

"I was afraid of telling you.. I didn't want you to be weird around me" I said and looked at him.

He was crying hard as he was watching me

"Weird around you?! HOW?! If I had known I would have maybe been able to support you!! And you're worrying about me being weird around you?!" He said

I cried harder as I looked at him

"OF COURSE I WAS! THE DOCTOR TOLD ME TO LIVE MY LIFE JUST LIKE I'M DOING NOW!" I said

"And no one should know about it? Is that including me?!" He shouted as he cried

"YES! ESPECIALLY YOU!!!!!" I shouted back at him

He wiped away the tears on his face

"Especially you.. I never thought that you would come into my life.. and I never thought I would experience the feelings that i have for you.. and the love.. we.."

He cut in

"LOVE?! THIS IS ALL A LIE! ALL OF IT..!! We're suppose to trust each other! Do you know what trust is?!?!" HE shouted

I stayed silent

"Yah.. Changmin ah~~ Calm down.." JaeJoong said and tapped him on his shoulder

Changmin shook off his Hyung's hand and looked at me

"I can't believe this.. you didn't tell me.. and still..we.. did so much stuff .. but in fact you should've been home resting.. Great now.. you're making me feel guilty" He said sarcastically

I shook my head

"NO!! Please it's not like that.. Trust me!" I begged

"TRUST YOU?!?!"

"YAH CHANGMIN IT'S ENOUGH!" Junsu shouted and came in between us

Changmin pushed Junsu to the side but Junsu hurried right back in between us

"She didn't mean to ok?" He said

Suddenly Changmin's gaze changed and he stared at both of us

"Ahh.. now.. I understand.. HOW COME I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT EARLIER?!" He said and looked at us

"What?" Junsu said

"So that was the reason why you've been acting so weird lately.. You knew about this don't you?" Changmin said and glared at Junsu

Junsu didn't answer

"HYUNG! TELL ME THE DAMN ANSWER!" Changmin shouted

Junsu stooed right in front of me in a protective way as I was silently crying behind him, watching everything

"It just happened okay? I saw her collapse.." Junsu said truthfully

Changmin rolled his eyes

"And you didn't tell me? YOUR DONGSAENG? HER BOYFRIEND?!?!!?" He shouted

"I was going to but.. I"

"SO THAT IS WHY YOU WERE AWAY THAT DAY WEREN'T YOU?! YOU WERE OUT WITH HER?!" Changmin said and stared at us

I shook my head

"It's not like that!! You're the one for me!!" I shouted and tried to come in between them

I reached out for his hand but he backed and held up his hands

"I don't know what to believe anymore.. My hyung and my girlfriend.. Great combination.." He said and backed

Tears was falling as I looked at him

He bended down and grabbed his bag and stared at me
With tears in his eyes he sighed heavily

"My love for you isn't enough?.." He whispered

I started to cry harder

"It's not.. suppose .. I didn't mean.. I.. was going to.. tell you.."

"When? When Eunmi?" He choked

I couldn't answer.. i didn't have an answer

"And I thought you and I were something special.." He whispered

Suddenly, he just spun around and walked out on us

He didn't even look at me or even stop to look at me. He just went out, passed Yunho, Yoochun and JaeJoong without even looking at them.

The door closed as I heard it click

I fell down onto my knees

I guess the guys thought I was fainting or anything cause they all ran towards me and started to check if I was alright

I wasn't.

My head wasn't.

My feelings wasn't..

My life wasn't..

But the most important of all, My heart and Changmin's heart wasn't ..