That's Why

Within Me

~Changmin~

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As I was hugging my hyungs and being congratulated, I noticed that something seemed to be different. I don't know what but something was obviously missing

I then spotted Ricky and realized that I haven't seen Eunmi anywhere

I looked around and soon I saw her talking to Eeteuk Hyung and Eunhyuk

I walked over as she started to laugh because Eeteuk had said something funny

"Hey there" I said

"Hey OPpa" Eunmi smiled

I smiled at her aswell

"You did good" She said happily

I nodded

"gomawo.."

She gave me a quick hug and pulled away since she didn't want to make the atmosphere weird I guess. After all, Eunhyuk and Eeteuk was there

"So.. This is your make-believe wife huh?" Eeteuk grinned

I nodded

"So how is the marriage going?" Eunhyuk asked

"Good." I said

"What do you think Eunmi?" Eunhyuk smiled

She looked up from her daze, looking at us a bit loss and then she smiled

"He's a very good husband... He's treating me really well" Eunmi said and looked at me

My heart started to beat just a little faster as I looked at my hyungs in embarrassment

"YAH! LET'S GO TO THE AFTER PARTY!!" Yunho shouted out

"KAH JA KAH JA!!" Kangin shouted

I grabbed my jacket and looked around for Eunmi who was making her way out

I quickly ran over to her side and went outside with the big group

Everyone was cheerful, talking happily and joking while Eunmi was quietly watching

"Gwenchana?" I asked her

She looked at me and nodded

"I'm fine.."

I started to wonder if she was feeling uncomfortable around me because of the kiss.. I looked at her as she was walking and looking at the people around her

Did I do wrong ?

But of course there is a reason why my reflexes acted that way isn't it?

If the warmth inside of me wasn't love, then what is it? Hate?, Joy? Jealousy?

Impossible. Of course it is love. . isn't it?

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~Eunmi~

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Of course I noticed that he was looking at me all the time and wondering if something was wrong.

Nothing is wrong. It's just that.. the kiss.. made me speechless. I can't talk around him..

I just.. got shy.. Why? Mollah !

Soon I heard the music from the party hall bumping out loud and when we arrived there were people standing outside, some smoking, some just taking some fresh air

I saw that the SuJu members were really excited and as soon as we approached the party , they hurried inside, leaving me and Changmin with JaeJoong, Micky, Ricky, Heechul, Sungmin outside.

"Whoa seems like it's a big hit!" Sungmin admired

I heard Changmin Chuckle

"Well.. it's something to celebrate isn't it ? The winter vacation starts and well.. it's gonna be a long night" Changmin said

"Let's go inside. I want some punch and I want to dance. The music is good" Ricky cheered

We all decided to go in and we went to the wardrobe first to take off our jackets and coats

"I'll take it" Changmin said and helped me to take off my coat

A bit surprised but still silent, I gave it to him and gave him a smile

When we all had taken off our jackets and coats we started to make our way into the big party hall. The DJ was scratching and playing the music loud. At the left corner, there were some tables and chairs were you could sit and in the other left corner, the big long table of snacks and punch with some staff watching over it.

It was really a lot of people. I think the whole school was here and some other college students from other colleges that were invited

Suddenly I saw a few girls walking over and they were all squeaking when they stopped in front of Changmin, pushing me a bit to the side like an outsider

"Annyeong Changmin Oppa"

I saw Changmin forced a smile on his face and he did look a bit uneasy

"Uhm.. Hey"

"Look what we're wearing.. Red dresses. Your favourite color" The girl smiled

Changmin nodded smilingly

"Very beautiful" He said

I heard the girl whisper in happiness to her friends

I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.. He hasn't even said to me that I was pretty tonight..

I'm just ridiculous am I?

Thinking of such small things..

"Changmin Oppa? Would you like to dance?" One of the girls ask

Changmin looked a bit nervous

"Annyeong haseo"

I looked in front of me to see a tall guy, brown styled hair with black pants, white sweater smiling at me.

"May I have this dance?" He asked

I was so surprised by his question that I didn't know what to say

"She's taken" I heard Changmin's voice say and I felt his arm wrap around my waist

The guy looked a bit shocked at us and nodded and left

"Whoa so cool.." I heard the girls whisper

I looked up to see Changmin looking around int he party hall

He then looked at me and whispered into my ear

"I forbid you to dance with any other guy tonight and you can't talk to any except SuJu and Dbsk and my friends araso?" He said playfully

I looked at him

"Wae?"

He chuckled

"Because you're mine"

My eyes went wide as I felt the heat coming up to my cheeks

"What about your girls then?" I asked

He smiled

"If you're mine, then I'm yours"

I laughed. My heart started to beat faster as I looked at him. He was smiling with his whole face and he looked so happy

"Let's dance" He said

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the dancefloor, where the others were dancing

"By the way, you look really pretty tonight. even the word pretty cannot describe you enough though" He grinned

I started to blush even more and was awkwardly smiling to myself in happiness

We joined the guys and danced to a lot of songs, until we couldn't take it anymore

I think I reached my limit when the 8th song started to play and I decided to take a break

I gestured to Changmin that I was going to sit down for a minute

"Want me to come with you?" He shouted

I shook my head

"I'll be right back!" I shouted back

I hurried over the dance floor and found a table available and sat down

"Here!"

I looked at the glass and followed the guy's arm and saw Junsu smiling at me

"Oh.. Gomawo"

He smiled and sat down

"Having a good time?" He asked

I nodded

"It's really fun. It's been awhile ever since I had fun like this"

"Oh chongmal?"

I nodded

I looked at Changmin who was playing around on the dance floor and when we had eyecontact he winked at me and I waved back at him

"You and Changmin seems to be close nowadays" Junsu said making me giggle nervously

"Uhm.. I guess"

I had to do something so that I could change the subject so I stood up and looked around

"I'm going out for some fresh air.. You're coming?" I asked

Junsu nodded

"Sure.. If I leave you along Changmin will kill me"

I nodded

We made our way through the party hall and went outside. There was a lot of students outside aswell so we walked to the corner and leaned against the wall

"Whoa.. what a beautiful night" I said as I was looking at the stars

He nodded

"Indeed.."

"I didn't know you had a twin brother" I smiled

"Oh.. fraternal.. so we don't look the same." Junsu smiled

"Oh.. in that way"

Suddenly I dropped my glass and fell onto the ground, having my left hand against my chest

Junsu was shockingly watching me as I tried to breathe

"EUNMI!! ARE YOU OK?!" He shouted

Tears started to well up as I tried to fight the cramp that was giving me a hard time to breathe

It felt more like torture, trying to push me down onto the ground and stopping me from breathing

"Eunmi Eunmi! What's wrong?!!" Junsu shouted

he looked so scared but so was I

When I felt the cramp starting to fade away, I had both of my hands on the ground, trying to inhale oxygen slowly, closing my eyes and tried to get my mind straight

Junsu who was still shocked was quiet, watching me

This was my first cramp. It was painful and it tortured my whole body.

Breathing in and out slowly I gathered my strength and opened my eyes and looked at Junsu

"I'm going to find the others" He said

I shook my head

"Don't.."

"I have to.. We're taking you home.." He said worriedly

I shook my head

"I can't go home.."

"You have to!!" Junsu said anxiously

I shook my head

Junsu helped me up and I leaned onto him as he was helping me over to the bench. I sat down exhausted and was trying to control my breathing, while feeling some small pain inside of my chest

"What's wrong? You're ok? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

Junsu looked at me not knowing what to do

I sighed and a tear fell

"Junsu~~ah.. I'm sick"

Junsu stared at me

"Sick? But let's take you home then..You need medicine and you need to rest and you.." HE started to babble but I shook my head

"I'm sick.. Sick as in.. dying"

He quieten and stared at me

"You are .. what?"

I nodded

"I am sick.. My heart .. is weak and at the moment, I'm waiting for a heart. I need a heart transplantation to get better.." I whispered

Junsu was at loss as he looked at me

"But you're.. so young" He whispered

I didn't say anything

"It doesn't mean that I can't die when I'm young.." I whispered

Junsu looked at me and he was still shocked over the news

"But.. how.. Aniya.. How.. is it possible?"

I sighed

"I haven't told anyone yet.. You're the first one to know" I said

He stared at me

"Is that .. why.. you've been.. away so much?" He asked

I nodded

"All those times, i've been to the hospital.."

"How long..? How Long have you known?" He asked

"4 years.."

Silence appeared as I was slightly feeling uneasy, terrified and wondering if I did the right thing about telling him this. But of course, if I hadn't told him, he would've run to the others and then I have to tell everyone

"You can't tell anyone" I whispered

He looked at me

"But.. what about Changmin?"

"Especially not him.. When it's time, I'll tell him"

Junsu stayed quiet

"I'm sorry.. but The cramp came so suddenly and I was afraid that all of you might know and... I don't want the others to know.."

"Wae?"

"Since everyone is going to be more concerned about me and worry and act a bit different around me. I don't want that" I said frustrated

Junsu nodded

"I understand"

"So promise me you won't say anything if I don't say so" I said

He looked at me

I started to cry, feeling even more frustrated

"Promise me.."

Junsu stood up and looked into my eyes

"What are you afraid of?" He asked

I looked away

"to let Changmin know or dying?" He whispered

"What does all these things has to do with Changmin?" I whispered

"You love him"

"No I don't" I answered

"If you don't then why are you so afraid?"

I didn't like being asked like this, answering questions that I wanted to keep to myself

"People might act weird around you but that is because they care about you, wanting the best and if something happens, they'll know what to do"

I didn't answer

"But Changmin, doesn't he has the right to know? Afterall, he's someone who's pretty close to you know" Junsu said

"I can't love him. I don't deserve him" I said and faced Junsu

"Wae?"

"Cause he doesn't need all of my burdens! He doesn't need to feel my pain and he doesn't need to care about me all the time when he has a life ahead of him. I can't deal with that. I can't deal with people pitying me. I don't want that. SO that is why you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone"

He sighed

"He has the right to know" Junsu said

"Wae?!" I screamed at him

"Cause he loves you too, That's why"

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Comments

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cmacchiato #1
Chapter 58: I just came across this and I'm crying a river in midnight
naznew #2
Chapter 58: it so sad....changmin-ah...
yuki_21
#3
Chapter 58: This story is really good. I'm crying while reading some chapter.. Eventhough Changmin is not my bias but I really like your story line. It's just so sad that Changmin leave her alone :" I really love this story!!
Angelz0715 #4
Chapter 58: I'm crying a river!!! This is so good!!!
CinqLuna #5
hey~ make a story like this again. I really love it. for the nth time I read and it never get boring . It just so sad that changmin leave her alone ToT

I love this story so much ^^
hazel_marie13
#6
Chapter 58: new reader & subscriber :) just found this story of yours & I like it even though it's sad :( love how Changmin & Eunmi fall for each other & the friendship of DBSK. It was really sad that it ended Changmin being died just to save her but it just shows how much he loves her. this is really a heartbreaking story but it is also a wonderful story that it can be really happening in true life. And also those loved ones we lost may not be with us but the memories we had with them will always be remembered & stayed in our hearts just like what I had realized after losing some of my loved ones. continue on creating good stories like this :))
NoRaM-DCL #7
I'm crying ! How could the story end like this ? :'( Omg ... My eyes are red now :'/ Anyways , its a really good story ! I'm glad I read this :')