She watched as the buildings changed, and then there were bridges, tunnels, houses and more cars. She wasn’t really paying attention though, her thoughts still swirling back on that little shop downtown. She shut her eyes tightly, resting the back of her head on the backrest of her car seat. A little while later she opened them up again, training them once again in the view outside.   Kyuhyun drove quietly, taking quick glances at his friend on the passenger seat, growing a little worried since Hyukjae didn’t utter a word ever since they left the shop. He, himself, was clueless as to why Hyukjae had to see that person, or what they’ve even talk about the whole time they were inside the shop. One thing that he noticed though, was that Hyukjae’s mood didn’t improve. Her face still pale, her lips even whiter. She looked sick and upset and weak and Kyuhyun felt a pang in his heart because even though he did learn to let go of his feelings for this girl, she’s still his friend and what hurts her hurt him too.   When the traffic light beamed red, Kyuhyun stopped the car and turned to Hyukjae. Her eyes still fixed outside and although he couldn’t see it he could just imagine how lifeless it must have looked like. He gulped; unable to contain his actions and let the tip of his fingers touched the side of her face.   Hyukjae trembled a little with the contact, shifting her gaze from the window to Kyuhyun. The boy’s brows were in frown, eyes fretting as he the redhead’s cheek gently.   “Are you okay?”, he asked and Hyukjae bit her inner cheek. Crying would be too easy, it’s something she had been doing ever since Donghae fell out of consciousness, but she wouldn’t want to worry Kyuhyun anymore.   “I’m fine.”, she said softly, taking Kyuhyun’s hand on her face, squeezing it softly before putting it down. She gave the boy a reassuring nod, but the uneasiness in his eyes didn’t waver. “Hyuk—“ “The light’s green already, you have to start driving.”, she said, putting anything Kyuhyun has to say in a halt. The boy pressed his lips together, heaved a sigh and turned to the steering wheel. Hyukjae brought her gaze back on the window, letting the quietness calm her. Even just for now.   -   “We’re late for school so.. I guess I’ll just stay in the supermarket to check things out.”, Kyuhyun mentioned minutes later, the car approaching their city’s purlieu. “I guess I could drop you home on my way—“ “Can I ask you another favor?”, Hyukjae asked and Kyuhyun’s a little startled but was quick to carry on with his driving. He took quick glances to Hyukjae and when the traffic light turned red again, he faced the girl, his expressions earnest.
“Anything.”, he uttered and Hyukjae smiled timidly in appreciation. “Can you take me to Chuncheon?”   -   The forty minute-ride was rather too fast, but maybe that was because she’s too pre-occupied with different thoughts invading her mind. She hopped off the passenger seat and walked to the sidewalk, stooping in a bit as Kyuhyun rolled down his window. “I could wait for you..”, he started, but Hyukjae shook her head and smiled. “It’s okay, I’ll be fine here. You’ve done a lot already, thank you so much Kyuhyun.”, she said, tapping his shoulder and standing straight. “But—“ “It’s fine. No, really it is. I prefer to be alone right now, anyway.”, Hyukjae confessed, tucking a strand in her ear sheepishly. “And besides, I’ve noticed you’ve been checking your phone ever since we left the shop. I think you should give in and give whoever you’re waiting for a call.”, the redhead teased and she didn’t miss the way Kyuhyun tensed up and blushed. Albeit the still lingering feeling of hesitance, Kyuhyun left. Hyukjae waved goodbye.   -   On her way there she passed by a flower shop, and Hyukjae smiled as she noticed the full bloom white carnations displayed in front. She bought a bouquet and with a soft smile, she walked towards her destination.   It was just a few weeks before when she and her father visited this place, but with everything that happened recently, Hyukjae felt like it had been years. She picked up the fallen leaves and some twigs around the spot, placing the white carnations on top of it before kneeling and sitting on her legs. There’s a tight lip smile on her face, although her chin’s already quivering and suppressed tears on the verge of falling down. Hyukjae waved a hand.   “Hello mom.”   -   Faint sobs and sniffs broke the silence around the whole place. It was almost deserted, aside from a small family four graves from where she was, the youngest child eyeing her and she wanted to cry more because she could see from his reaction how much she must have looked pitiful.   She tried wiping her tears but they kept on coming. She kept her position, ignoring the feeling of the grass against her knees, and like a child she whimpered and told her everything, on how she’s feeling really, very, depressed at the moment.   “What to do?”, she uttered in between sobs. She fisted a portion of her long red hair, the snivels nonstop. She dropped her hands on her knees, never minding everything or if she looked like crazy just now but she looked up, searching the clear heavens for answers she knew wouldn’t come. Instead there was a soft, cold breeze, blowing her long red hair and made her shiver a little. She came to comprehend, as she noticed the leafless trees, that it was almost time for winter. She bit her lip. One of the things in Donghae’s list included the two of them setting up Christmas trees, exchanging gifts and drinking hot chocolate while cuddling by Christmas eve. Huge droplets of tears appeared again, and Hyukjae chewed on her lower lip because she looked forward for those days to come, but it’s all but a far-fetched dream now.   Minutes of grieving and she finally calmed down, although fresh tears still escaped her eyes and she quietly wiped them, hiccupping for some time then gathering herself all over again. When she could at least control the sniffs she was able to manage a small smile, half-hearted yes, but it’s a good sign because at least she could. She’ll need more of these forced smiles for the rest of the day.   “But there’s no choice to begin with, right?”, she whispered. “I-I.. can’t let go of Donghae.”, she continued, and another sob escaped her lips. “B-but there’s no point in staying like this.. and having all of this.. if I can’t even see him smile again.”   Her voice broke along with her words. And so as her heart. And so as her everything.   -   A few hours later she appeared in the supermarket, and Kyuhyun blinked for quite a few times before registering that yes, it was definitely Hyukjae.   “I thought you’re in Chuncheon?”, he asked with a frown and Hyukjae just grinned and walked towards him, grabbing a few of the tray of eggs he was carrying. “I was but I’m done with my business there. It would be too late for me to go to school and I don’t feel like going home so I think I would help you here. I’m still working here after all, or Mr. Byun fired me already…”, the last six words were more of a question to herself and Kyuhyun wanted to ask why didn’t she visit Donghae instead. But he noticed how Hyukjae’s a little more cheerful than this morning, and he wouldn’t want to say something stupid that could probably make her upset. “But are you feeling okay now? Earlier it’s like you’re going to faint..” “I’m good now! Working is better because it will keep me from over thinking. I could still work here, right?”, she asked the question in a small voice and Kyuhyun scoffed, placing the tray of eggs on the racks before facing Hyukjae again. “Of course! And you better start working because we don’t pay you just to laze around!”, he said, in a perfect imitation of the supermarket manager Mr. Byun when he’s scolding the other employees. Hyukjae chuckled and although she wasn’t in her uniform, carried on and helped Kyuhyun around.   They joked around, teased each other, and sometimes Hyukjae will feign peeking on Kyuhyun’s phone, asking him who he had been texting all those while they were together. Kyuhyun would blush and Hyukjae would laugh. When they reached the part where they had their first and last date, it was Hyukjae’s turned to flushed beet red while Kyuhyun chuckled. He messed Hyukjae’s hair and told her to get over him already and it actually took Hyukjae quite a few seconds before coming up with a good comeback.   When Kyuhyun stopped taunting her and would be busy doing his work, or when he checked a new message on his phone, Hyukjae would look at him. This boy, who she initially loathes, felt insecure about, felt threatened about, only to find out that he’s more than meets the eye. She thought of that one afternoon where she first had an encounter with Kyuhyun, as Hyukjae, watching him swayed his hips and shook his shoulders. Hyukjae thought of the mischievous fights along the supermarket’s aisles, the after class study sessions, the cheeky remarks and the endless teasing. And on how this boy, this Cho Kyuhyun, will forever be the coolest boy in the whole wide world.   “Kyuhyunah.”, she called as the said boy fiddled on his phone. He raised his head and quirked an eyebrow, Hyukjae bit her inner cheek to fight back the tears and grinned playfully. “Have you heard of Sistar’s Loving U? I heard it and immediately thought of you-“ “Don’t start with me missy.”, Kyuhyun glared but it did nothing to scare Hyukjae, not that he actually meant to because what he said afterwards had Hyukjae bursting in laughter.  “I’ve already memorized the steps, you are so late!”   He flicked her nose softly before proceeding on his inventory, shifting from shelves to shelves while Hyukjae stood on her spot and watched.   “Kyuhyunah.”, she called again even before she could stop herself. “What again?”, Kyuhyun turned, feigning annoyance and Hyukjae just beamed. “I would still send you apples. Every day.”, she uttered, biting her inner cheek once again as she put up another smile. Kyuhyun on the other hand frowned, a little confused on why Hyukjae is saying this all of a sudden but he figured it must