CHAPTER FORTY Seven; decision

 I don’t remember anything but a headache when I woke up. I’m still here; at the cold, dark room where I was supposed to stay for the next few months or until I recover, if ever I survive this. I look up at the wall clock once again; it’s 5 in the morning. I remember the first time I took a look at that; my mom was very disappointed at me that moment.

I observed the surroundings; no one was at my company. There was a huge window covered by blinds at my right, it was dark but not that dark. And it was enough to see the buildings that surround this one. Never would have thought that I’d be in here and it has been 2 days already, I thought I would just sleep and never wake up, or maybe faint and get to the hospital already out of breath. It was never my intention to end up in the hospital, I never wanted to. I need to get out of here.

The sound of vibration from the side drawer caught my attention. I smiled at the sight of my phone.  I swayed my body to the right so I could reach for my hand phone. It’s been years since I’ve seen his name pop up on my phone. “Oh, Hello?”

“Did I wake you up?” his voice was soft. Is it selfish of me to wish that this man were Baekhyun?

“No, no, you didn’t. You’re up early…” my voice was a bit shaky though I admit that it’s nice of Luhan to call and check up on me especially when I’m alone here. I wonder why no one’s around. Not even my mother.

I heard him chuckle over the phone and he says, “I have school, remember? You know, you have to tell at least one of your friends so I won’t be alone when I come and visit you.”

The sight of one of my friends crying or scolding me makes my palms sweaty and my eyes watery. What more if it was Baekhyun? It would make my heart ache. I didn’t mean to but a sigh escaped from my lips.

“Think about it.” He said, leaving me thinking and thinking it over. “I’ll call before class, alright?”

How I wish Baekhyun would be like that. Damn it, why don’t I just tell him? I’m afraid he’ll get upset once I told him, or worse… he might cut again which is far more dangerous than my situation right now. Or at least I think it is. But it would be rather painful for him if I keep it a secret from him, knowing that only Luhan understands me, it bugs me more. What if they find out? Baekhyun would be more than hurt. I just couldn’t face him right now. I’m actually overthinking which is not good for me right now. I wish someone would help me, or talk to me at least. I just want to forget that I’m sick. I want to go to school.

“Take care, Lara.” He hangs up, not even giving me a chance to reply to his words. I put my phone down, leaving it fall on the bed. I embraced my knees again and laid my head down on my arm. I just hope that when they notice I’ve been gone for too long, they would visit and there’s a big chance that my mother would tell them the truth. I might get angry with her for telling them but she would just blab words about how it’s for my own good.

The next time I open my eyes, I glance at the clock again and it has been 3 hours since I talked to Luhan. Class must be starting for him, for Baekhyun and for my friends. They’ve probably talked about how their vacation went, Chanyeol and Dae-mi would announce their relationship and Soya would be predictably look for me especially now that it’s been days since I haven’t been to school, leaving Baekhyun to wonder the same thing.

I checked my phone; I had a missed call today from Baekhyun and Soya plus 3 messages from three different people. I know that if I open these, I would get upset because it would only mean that they’re looking for me. Would it be bad if I lied to them? I would tell them that I extended my vacation but I’m afraid they would barge in at my house. And my predictions might come true. Should I tell one of them?

I scan through the contacts, wondering whom to tell during their break time. I’m thinking about it wisely. If I tell Soya, she would tell Baekhyun,