ongguk’s year in America has definitely been interesting. America was quite different from Korea, but he’s adapted fine. When you came into his life, everything changed and he couldn’t help but fall for you. As he walks through the snow covered street that is shining with Christmas lights, he can’t help but think of what to get you for the holiday…what would make up for the secret he’s been keeping. He knows he should have told you, but he’s never been able to find a good way  to tell you that he was leaving at the end of the month.

He came to America to explore more musical styles and the culture as well as promote B.A.P and his solo career. He met you right away since you were assigned the task of being his assistant with getting around and English. It was impossible for him not to fall for you, and he convinced himself that spending time with you, even just the little time he had, was better than always wondering. When he confessed, you’d been beyond excited and ever since the two of you have been happy.

Your time is running out though.

Sure, there was the option of long distance…but he’s not sure he can handle that with his schedule. More than anything he wishes he could take you with him, but you have a life here. He would never ask you to leave everything behind for him; it wouldn’t be fair. As he continues his walk an idea comes to mind and he quickly goes to the studio to work on it.

Christmas comes quickly, and with some difficulty, Yongguk managed to finish his gift on time. He tucks the small package away as you knock on his door. “Hello Oppa,” you smile at him as he steps into the hallway. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he gives you his usual gummy smile before kissing you lightly and taking your hand. The plan for the day was to spend time at your family’s annual Christmas get-together. The drive there is quick, and upon arrival Yongguk is introduced to everyone. He won’t remember half of the names, but that didn’t matter. What matters is that he’s spending one of his final days with you.

He watches as you start to play with some of the younger kids in the family and can’t help but think what an amazing parent you’ll be one day. As the night goes on, he resists the urge to give you your present and leave. It was a foolish way to do it, but he knows he won’t be able to handle seeing the hurt in your eyes. Still, this might just make it worse….he would tell you, face-to-face…tomorrow. For now, he was determined to continue enjoying the night.

“I hope my family wasn’t too crazy for you,” you tell him as you drive back to his place.

“They were very nice…though I didn’t catch everything they said,” he admits.

“They probably just said random crap to try to confuse you,” you roll your eyes as you park.

“Stay with me tonight?” Yongguk asks. He wants to hold you close to him one more time before he tells you he’s leaving. You’re silent as you cut the car’s engine and get out with him following shortly after. He lends you a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt that you change into before crawling into bed beside him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t have a better Christmas gift for you…it’s hard to give an idol something since they probably have everything.”

“I have you, that’s the greatest gift, but I do still have to give you your present,” he manages a smile as he rolls over to grab the package that you then rip open. “I hope you like it,” he says as you read over the song titles to find that some of them were covers while others were written by him.

“This is perfect,” you smile and wrap your arms around him, giving him a quick peck. Before he can hold you closer, you place the CD on the bedside table and then snuggle against him. “I’m so glad that you’re in my life,” you hum in content.

“I’m lucky to have met you,” he agrees with a small sigh, He should tell you, but today was perfect and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

“Oppa, what’s wrong?” you ask him instantly.

“Nothing…it can wait until tomorrow,” he says.

There’s a moment of silence before you sigh, “You have to go back to Korea soon, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he admits weakly. “I have to go back the day after tomorrow. I know I should have told you sooner, but I just couldn’t and I wanted today to be perfect for you…I would give anything to stay with you  because I really do love you,”

“I love you too,” you kiss his nose lightly. “Deep down I always knew you’d have to leave me one day…I just didn’t expect time to go so quickly.”

“We can stay in touch as much as I can with my schedule, but I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me,” he confesses, holding you tightly once more.

“I want you to be happy too,” you reply softly. “Let’s just enjoy the time we have left together, ok?”

“Ok,” he says, giving you a quick peck before you rest your head on his chest and close your eyes. He takes in all the details of your face as you fall asleep, and once he’s sure you’re asleep, he whispers, “I’m sorry.”

The following day was spent doing as much as you could together while trying not to think of it as the last day before he left, but it was hard for both of you. The morning of his departure is the worst. All Yongguk wants to do is stay in bed with you in his arms, or for you to come with him, but he’s forced to check his bags once again before heading to the airport.

“I;ll never forget you,” he promises as he wipes a stray tear of your cheek. You hadn’t realized that you were crying.

“I’ll never forget you either. Promise to stay well, Oppa.”

“I promise if you promise.”

“I promise,” you try to smile, but you only manage a small one.

“I’ll do everything I can to speak with you when I can…unless you don’t want me to, I understand if you don’t.”

“No, stay in touch,” you urge quickly just as his flight is called out.

“Be happy jagiya, you will have a bright future, I know it,” he tells you before giving you one final kiss that both of you pour all your emotions into. You want to keep him here with you, but that can’t be. Reluctantly, he pulls away and you allow him to step back. “Goodbye,” he says, but you can tell he wants to say so much more.

“Goodbye,” is all you can manage as a reply. Everything in you is scream that you have to go after him. You have to say more, but you stay put and watch him disappear into the terminal as tears fill your eyes.

It’s been nearly five months since Yongguk returned to Korea, and you’ve been on his mind often. He hasn’t been able to contact you for the last two months, and that worries him. He assumes you’ve found someone else, and that you’re happy…so he should be happy, but he isn’t. He misses you more than anything.

He wonders if the fans have noticed his change in mood despite how he tries to hide it. “I’m going to go for a walk,” he sighs to s before getting up and covering himself enough so the fans won’t notice him.

“Be careful,” Himchan calls out just as Yongguk shuts the door.

Yongguk walks around aimlessly, just hoping to clear his mind. He can’t help but miss the ability to walk around with you freely in America. He looks down at the sidewalk with a sigh, which really wasn’t smart since he immediately bumps into someone. “I’m sorry,” he says at the same time as whoever he bumped into, only to freeze

It couldn’t be.

That voice had to just be in his head.

“O-Oppa,” the voice stutters in surprise and this time he has to look up, only to gasp.

“____________-ah,” he breathes and a smile spreads across your face just seconds before he pulls you into an embrace. “What are you doing here?” he asks, pulling back to look at you.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about coming here…to find you…I didn’t know if I’d even get the chance to see you, but I had to try,” you explain, making him smile.

“I’ve missed you so much, and I’m sorry i haven’t kept in contact, but with preparing for the next tour-”

You lightly press a finger to his lips, “I know, I understand. I’ve missed you too. That’s another reason I had to come.”

Yongguk quickly takes your hand, “How long are you staying?”

“As long as you want me to.”

“You’re going to be here a very long time then,” he chuckles while starting to walk with you. “I better show you around so you don’t get lost living here. And maybe we can find a place to stay together….I’m sorry, was that too quick?”

“No,” you smile and lift up the hand that’s holding his to kiss his knuckle. “This all should have been done sooner.”

“Then let’s go,” he smiles and the two of you start to walk together, holding hands tightly.