You naturally grab your phone as soon as you hear the text alert. To your surprise it’s from Zelo  ‘Umma #3...we need help’ You smile for a second at the nickname that came from the fact that you were dating Himchan, B.A.P’s Umma, and since you often took care of the group you became the third umma after their real mothers.

‘What’s wrong?’ you reply quickly, already grabbing your bag.

‘Just come over,’ is the only explanation you get. You rush to the dorm right away and punch in the passcode before entering. “Guys, what’s going on?” You call out as you toe off your shoes.

“It’s Himchan-hyung,” Jongup gestures to Himchan’s room and you quickly move to knock on the door.

“Go away!” Himchan shouts, making you sigh.

“Channie, it’s me,” you say through the door.

“Please go away,” he calls, but of course you don’t. You wait a moment before entering the room to find it’s dark. The window is covered and the light is off, but you’re still able to make out Himchan’s familiar figure curled up in a ball. You cautiously sit down behind him on the bed. “Please go away.”

Gently, you grab his shoulder to make him roll over so that he is facing you, but instead he places his head in your lap. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, lightly his ruffled blonde hair.

“A lot.”

“Tell me everything.”

With a deep breath, Himchan begins, “It’s just...I feel so stupid! I knew it would be rough, but not like it is. I didn’t expect my fans to joke about everything that I do, I mean, I get that some things are fun to joke about since I do it with the members...but it all just hurts. I’ve been called a girl, stupid, and useless. I had to re-record “Hurricane” because of all the jokes and then I make a typo on the word “Ready” and people laugh about it. I made a mistake and it’s just laughed at! I work so hard and then I see I’m called useless and people question why I’m even in the group. I really do feel useless right now. And to make it worse, I feel it’s pointless to get worked up over this!”

Himchan starts to shake and instantly, you know that he’s crying. He has to let it out, you understand that. You know that despite all the times your boyfriend acts confident and cocky, he’s really just trying to assure himself and get compliments because, although he wouldn’t admit it, he’s self-conscious. You continue to his hair for a moment, before wiping his tears away. “It’s not pointless to be upset; you’re human and the jokes are going way too far. Some fans probably don’t even realize it, but those who are saying you are useless and shouldn’t be part of the group aren’t fans,” you speak softly as you keep wiping more tears away. Himchan is looking up at you now, giving you his full attention, hoping you can make his pain disappear. “As for you being a girl, don’t believe that for a second. You have a flawless face that a lot of people would want, but you’re still a man. You’re my y, y man,” you lean down and kiss his forehead.

“You aren’t stupid either. English can be hard for people, and you do quite well. You can’t help it if your accent makes it hard to say certain words, such as roof. You try, and you work hard. As for your typo, you were in a rush and I know that even native english speakers can easily slip up when they type in a hurry. Whether it’s putting letters out of order, or even putting the completely wrong word! People don’t think before they act. Honestly, I think they just want to note all the little things that make someone so perfect more human, but they’re doing it in the wrong way.”

“But, I’m still useless,” Himchan sighs.

“Not at all! You take care of the group so that nothing can happen to them. You might not get dance solos or very many lines, but one day you will have more lines. You have a voice that can give people shivers, even when you’re just talking. You make people laugh and smile, and that’s always the best thing you can do. You say you have no role model because you want to become one, and you have. You might not know it, but there are people who look up to you and can relate to what you’re going through with this...bullying. I know you want to be strong about this, and you are strong. You’re one of the strongest people I know, all six of you are strong actually, and I’m not the only one to think so. You’re still human so you have to let your feelings out, and that’s what I’m here for. You can always talk to me about anything.”

“You mean it?”

“Kim Himchan, I love you, and I know you know that,” you lean down to press your lips to his. He responds slowly at first so the kiss is slowly, loving, and comforting, but also making your blood seem to heat up at the new angle. You pull away and he reaches up to tuck some of your hair behind your ear.

“I love you too, ______________, thank you,” he gives you a small, slightly forced, smile. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“And you’re always going to have me, because no matter how many mistakes you make, you’re perfect to me,” you lightly rub your nose against his in an eskimo kiss . This time he gives you a real smile before he tilts his head to give you another upside down kiss.