Victoria’s POV

“Victoria! Victoria!” The loud chants of my name were all I could hear before I entered my car—with the help of the four big bodyguards that surrounded me of course.

    “Wah Unnie! Did you hear the fans? You’re really popular now.” Sulli squealed as I took a seat next to her. The rest of the F(x) members were already in the car and nodded in agreement with Sulli’s statement. I blushed and shook my head.

    “Me? What about you guys? Look at all the gifts with your names on them.” I turned around in my seat and pointed at the fan gifts piling in the backseat of the car. I could see Luna’s, Sulli’s, Amber’s and Krystal’s name all over them. I pulled out a banner that had big red letters that said ‘I LOVE KRYSTAL!”

    Krystal laughed and snatched the banner in my hands. “Common Unnie. It’s pretty obvious that you’re the most popular among the five of us.”

    “Ever since you entered WGM, you’ve become the ‘It’ girl.” Amber said matter-of-factly. The girls laughed and nodded.

    “Yeah Unnie!” I tore my eyes away from Amber’s and saw Luna’s body facing the backseat of the car; she was rummaging through the pile of fan gifts. “All I see here is Khuntoria.” She threw something back at it landed on Sulli’s head.

    “Ow! Hey watch it.” She slapped Luna’s arm and rubbed her head.

   “Khuntoria again.” Said Luna and she threw back something else. It landed on Amber’s lap.

    “What the—hey!”

    “Aish, Khuntoria again.” Luna threw back something else and Krystal successfully dodged away from it.

    “What are you looking for exactly?” Krystal asked.

    “I’m looking for…” Luna voice trailed as she threw back some more items. “Khuntoria, Khuntoria, Khuntoria… geez, why are there a lot of Khuntoria fan gifts!” Luna threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Ah! Found it!” Luna turned around and she was holding a baseball cap that had her name in big bold letters on it. She puts them on and smiled. “How do I look?”

   We all laughed and shook our heads at Luna’s behaviour.

    “Oh, this is pretty cute.” Sulli suddenly said as she held up the small heart-shape pillow in her hands. She turned the pillow around so everyone could see the chibi character of me and Nichkhun on it. The chibi characters were redrawn from the scene of our wedding photo shoot—the first kiss scene to be exact.

    Sulli handed me the small pillow and I hesitantly took it. I traced a finger on the cute chibi characters and it lingered on Nichkhun’s character. I gaze at the image and let out a deep sigh.

    “She’s going to break.” Amber muttered.

    “Shhhh!!!” Luna, Sulli and Krystal shushed her. I tore my eyes away from the pillow and smiled.

    “I’m kind of hungry. Should we order take-out tonight?” I asked. Everyone was looking at me intently. I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

    “Unnie… are you okay?” Luna asked gently. I sighed mentally in my head.

    On the day Nichkhun had left Korea to do the promo, after I got back from my schedule to my dorm, all my members had heard about the divorce. They kept asking me whether I was okay and they were really worried when I keep shrugging it off. They didn’t believe me when I assured them I was fine and they had been constantly waiting for me to suddenly burst into tears.

    “Girls, how many times do I have to tell you?” I look at their faces one by one and gave them a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, really.” I emphasized on the last word to convince them. They look reluctant at first but then nodded and smiled. I clasped my hands together. “Okay, so what should we order?”

    After that the girls started arguing on what to have for dinner. I smiled as I stared at them fighting with each other. I was grateful to have them by my side and worry about me, but it’s not their job to take care of me. It should be the other way around. Because of that reason I haven’t been completely honest with them. If I told them what’s really on my mind, they would pester me 24-7 and I wasn’t up for that. Besides, they’re already busy with their own lives and I don’t want to stress them even more with my problems.

    I wasn’t lying when I told them I was fine about the virtual divorce. It’s been almost a week—and a very long one too—since I last saw Nichkhun and I kept myself  busy with schedules and activities to distract myself. I was starting to feel like my usual self again in the short period of time but when I see anything related to him, my mind would go through a minor breakdown. It’s hard to forget him when I keep seeing his face on posters and banners wherever I go. Especially when I’m doing a concert and all I could see were Khuntoria signs decorating the stage by the fans.

    I shifted in my seat and looked out the window, hugging the pillow tighter against my chest. My schedule was packed for another few weeks but I was the one who insisted on doing every offer I got. I thought it would pass the time quicker but from how the first week had gone by so slowly… I sighed and snuggled my face against the pillow.

    “It’s going to be another long week.”

I was doing a little dance as I cooked lunch, humming to a random song in my head.

    “Someone’s cheery today.” I turned around and saw Krystal shuffling towards the kitchen table. She popped a piece of fruit I had just cut on the table into . “What’s up?” She asked, popping another piece of fruit in .

    “I got a day off tomorrow!” I exclaimed excitedly and continued humming another random tune.

    “You should at least get a week off to rest yourself. You work too hard these days.”

    “I have to admit, my back does hurt lately but one day of rest should do me just fine.” I said as I transferred the fried chicken with black pepper from the pan to a plate.

    “But Unnie, one day won’t—” I popped in another piece of fruit in to stop her from saying anything more. I placed the plate on the table and took a seat. Krystal chewed and swallowed the fruit as she pulled the chair in front of me. It was just me and Krystal in the dorm this afternoon. Everyone else was busy with their own activities.

    We started chatting while we ate our lunch and when we were done, Krystal helped me with the dirty dishes.

    “Are you going to the company later? Cause I was planning to go there before heading to my next schedule, we can go together.” I asked Krystal as I handed her a clean plate. She took the plate and dried it with a small towel.

    “No thanks.” She shook her head. “Today’s my day off and I want to get as much rest as I can before our big promo.” I nodded in agreement as I handed her another clean plate. F(x) will be doing a promo for our newest album soon and it will be months of non-stop concerts, fan meetings, interviews, guest appearances and the list goes on. We won’t be able to sit idly by like this during those long months of promoting.

    “Now that I think about it, a week of rest doesn’t sound so bad…” I trailed on and we both laughed.

    After washing the dishes, I got myself ready and headed out the apartment. Manager Oppa was already waiting for me downstairs. I hopped in the back seat as I greeted him cheerfully.

   “Hey Vic. Someone’s awfully cheery this afternoon.” I beamed at him.

    “I just can’t wait to get some ‘me’ time tomorrow.” I clasped my hands together with excitement. I wondered what I should do tomorrow. Maybe a nice long hot bath with rose petals and classical music? Yes! My smile grew even wider.

   “Oh yeah… um Vic? About your break tomorrow—”

    “Oppa, thanks again for giving me a break tomorrow. You have no idea how much rest I need right now and with the promo coming soon, ugh… Really, thank you Oppa.” I thanked him and expected him to smile back at me but instead his expression was weary. I could feel my brows furrowing together. “Oppa, is there something wrong?”

    He hesitated for a moment. “I’m sorry to say this but your break tomorrow is cancelled. You got and interview tomorrow and it’s compulsory for you to do it.” He finally spilled.

    I was taken aback for a moment. What did he say? No ‘me’ time for Victoria tomorrow? I sighed and nodded.

    “Okay, I understand.” I answered glumly. My cheery mood already out the window.

    “But it’s only one interview. After that you’re free to do whatever you want.” Manager Oppa quickly said to erase the frown on my face and it worked.

    “Really?” My eyes widened and smiled at him. If that’s the case then I can still have plenty of time to relax myself. I was suddenly curious about the interview. “Will I be doing the interview alone or with the girls?” I asked. Of course it’s an interview with the girls. It’s probably about our new album. I nodded to myself.

    “Neither.”

    “Huh?” I looked at Oppa’s face with confusion but he avoided looking into my eyes.

    “You’re doing the interview with… Nichkhun.” He said the last part quietly but I still heard it clearly. Before I had any time to react, Oppa continued on. “Since the broadcast of your final episode is next week, they wanted to interview you two about your thoughts on being a married couple on WGM.” I was still in a state of shock.

    “Nichkhun…” I started. “He’s back?”

    “He’s been back in Korea for a few days now.” I nodded, not really hearing anything.

    I slumped back in my seat, still wide eyed. Tomorrow… I’m going to see him again tomorrow… Just when I was about to adapt myself without his presence… Less than 24 hours… I’m going to see him again…

    “Victoria? Victoria!” Oppa called me with panic when I started to hyperventilate.

“Is it hot in here Victoria-ssi?” I snapped out of my own thoughts and looked up at the make-up artist standing in front of me. I shook my head.

    “No, I’m fine.” I let out a shaky laugh and started playing with my fingers.

    “Hmmm, really? You’re sweating.” She pulled out a small towel and wiped my forehead and neck. I let out another nervous laugh.

    “It’s a little bit stuffy in here.” I remarked even though it didn’t make much sense since the air-conditioner was on full power. The make-up artist only nodded and continued fixing my make-up.

    “Are you done yet?” Manager Oppa suddenly came into the big white room and took a seat next to me on the small sofa.

    “Perfect! She’s all dolled up.” The make-up artist exclaimed. I thanked her and she excused herself.

    “Is it hot in here?” Oppa asked as he dabbed my forehead with a tissue paper. I gently pushed his hand away and shook my head.

    I bit my lower lip and my fingers drummed themselves on the arm seat of the sofa. I shifted in my seat and crossed my legs and then uncrossed them back. I bit my finger and tapped my feet continuously.

    “Oh my god, Victoria! Can you please stop fidgeting?” Manager Oppa finally snapped.

    “Huh?” My body stopped moving and I turned to look at him. He sighed.

    “I know you’re nervous right now, but please, control yourself.”

    “Nervous?” I repeated. “Who’s nervous? I’m not nervous.” I laughed shakily and smiled at him but he just raised an eyebrow and shook his head in disagreement. I let out a sigh. “Okay, I’m nervous.” I admitted and started chewing on my finger again.

    Oppa grabbed hold of my shoulders and turned me around to face him. “Relax, you’re going to be fine. They’re only going to ask you a few questions and then you’re done. It’ll be over before you know it.” His words made me feel a little bit better as my shoulders slowly dropped from their tensed position.

    He’s right. I’ll just answer the questions quickly and then I can go home and take that nice bath I’ve been longing for. I jumped when I heard a man’s voice behind me but sighed when it was someone I didn’t recognize; a staff maybe? He called for manager Oppa and he nodded. He gave me a pat on the shoulder before leaving me alone in the enormous white room with black abstract patterns splattered on the walls. I was told that we were going to have the interview here. I stared at the abstract patterns to stop myself from fidgeting.

    I couldn’t sleep at all last night when I found out that I have to do an interview with Nichkhun today. And now the time has come, I was extremely nervous. I was clueless on how I should act towards Nichkhun when I see him. Should I just greet him normally like I would when we were married? I started practicing on saying ‘Hello’ using different intonations, deciding on which one was the best to say to him.

    My body straightened in my seat when I heard faint footsteps coming towards the room. My heart started racing when I could hear voices coming closer. I froze when I saw a tall figure walking in with a few people following him.

    “Ah Victoria-ssi, there you are. We were just talking about you.” The woman who was also our interviewer said. I stood up and smoothed out the faint wrinkles on my dress before giving her a small nod and smiled. I look at the man standing next to her and our eyes met.

    “Annyeonghaseyo Victoria-ssi.” Nichkhun said and his lips curved into a smile. For a fraction of a second, I was stunned to see his handsome face but quickly collected myself together and greeted him politely.

    “So, shall we start the interview?” The woman asked and we both nodded. Nichkhun gestured her to take a seat first on the chair in front of the sofa. He’s still such a gentleman, I thought to myself. He then turned to look at me and gestured me to sit back on the sofa. I smiled at him and took a seat next to him. I sat as far as the small sofa allowed away from him but tried to look as comfortable as I could.

    “Okay then, let’s start.” She pulled out a notebook and pen and her recorder. Another man sitting next to her was holding a camera, he started taking pictures of me and Nichkhun.

    The woman asked us to share our thoughts about the experience of being married to each other and spending time together for one year and three months. We talked about how we felt since the first day we met until the last day we parted. It didn’t take us more than an hour to tell her our whole story together. I finally realized that even though we were married for a year and three months, if I add up all the times we actually spent together, it didn’t even reach half a year. So technically, we didn’t spent one year and three months together.

    The woman then asked whether we were actually dating or not since our relationship was more intimate on the show.

    “No.” I blurted absentmindedly. Nichkhun let out a chuckle and answered ‘no’ as well. When asked why, Nichkhun said it’s because we were both too busy to date, I only nodded. Is that the reason? I asked him mentally, not that it’s not true though. I shook my head and focused on the interview.

    The atmosphere seemed to lighten a bit after that as me and Nichkhun started recalling back the moments we had together. I was soon comfortable enough to comment on his statement and a little now and then. He looked comfortable as well. We even casually touched each other, the skinship not bothering us at all.

    When we were done with the interview, we were asked to do some poses that involved a bit of skinship for the article. The man who was sitting next to the woman took a lot of pictures of us and by the time I knew it, it was already over. I sighed with relief in my head.

    I shook hands with the woman and the man, thanking them for their hard work. When they finally left, I plopped myself back on the sofa and sighed. Ugh, I can finally go home. I closed my eyes and an image of me sinking myself in my bathtub flashed behind my eyelids. Where the heck is manager Oppa? I want to go home! My eyes shot open and I was startled when I saw a paper cup a few inches away from my face. I look up and saw Nichkhun standing in front of me—Oh, I forgot he was still here. My heart started racing again.

    It’s funny, during the interview I wasn’t as nervous as before. To be honest I totally forgot about the anxiety I had. Maybe it’s because I was too focus on the interview. But now that I’m alone with him… I need a paper bag.

    “Here, drink this.” I gave him a controlled smile—inside my mind and my heart were going crazy when I heard his voice—and took the cup from his hand. Nichkhun took a seat next to me.

    I look at the paper cup; it was cool in my hands. I took a slow sip and it felt good when my throat was washed with the cool drink. “Thanks.” I said and took another sip.

    “No problem. Its herbal tea, it’ll ease you up. You look really nervous.” I almost choked on the drink when he said the last part. How did he know? I look over at him with an eyebrow arched perfectly.

    “Nervous?” I took another sip—my fingers slightly trembling—and gave him a subtle glare.

    “Am I not correct?” He challenged, crossing his arms across his chest. A smirk was playing on his lips.

    “Ha!” I snorted. “Why would I be nervous?” He leaned back a bit to examine my face and smirked a bit.

    “Cause you’ve been acting so cold since the interview started and you never once used your aegyo like you always would.” Damn, how did he notice? “And if I’m not mistaken, you only act like that when you’re nervous.” I just rolled my eyes and looked away. I took another sip of the tea while I thought about how to respond.

    “Wah Nichkhun-ssi, I didn’t think you knew me that well.” I said in a teasing tone. “But even so, I’m not nervous.” I shook my head and took another sip of the cool tea.

    “Hmmm, then if you’re not nervous…” I almost spitted out the drink in my mouth when he placed his hand on my forehead. “Well you’re not having a fever, but your face does look a bit pale.” I quickly pushed his hand away and laughed nervously.

    “I’m fine really. Just tired maybe.” I answered and smiled weakly at him.

    “I know the feeling.” He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. I suddenly remembered about his promo.

    “I thought you were still doing your promo but manager Oppa told me that you had been back in Korea for quite some time now.” Curiosity painted my tone.

    “I came back 3 days ago to do some activities my company had given me. Today’s my last day here. I have a flight to Japan in a few hours to continue with the promo.” He answered and sighed. “Ugh, it’s nice to just seat here. It’s been a chaotic week for me.”

    “People think being celebrities would be a breeze… I feel like I'm stuck in a massive tornado.” Nichkhun chuckled at my remark and nodded in agreement.

    “Even though it can be exhausting at times, but I’m glad I became a celebrity.” Nichkhun said as he leaned back on the sofa and placed his hands behind his head.

   “Why?” I asked, my eyes wide and bunny-like.

   “Cause I got to meet you.” He simple stated. My face heated up at the same time his ears burned. We both laughed and we started chatting even more after that.

    I could never understand how I can be so comfortable with Nichkhun even when things between us were still a big blur. It shouldn't be like this. We should act awkward towards each other, but for some strange reason, it felt like nothing has ever changed. I felt like myself again as I chatted with him and laughed at his jokes.

    But I immediately felt empty again when his manager called him. A few moments later manager Oppa came.

    “Sorry for making you wait Vic. I was just finishing editing all the information you gave for the interview.” Me and Nichkhun stood up at the same time. I nodded at Oppa.

    “I better get going as well.” Nichkhun said as he looked at his manager. I tried enduring the sudden sharp pain in my chest. He then turned towards me. “It was really great seeing you again.” He held out his hand and I was hesitant at first. He gave me an encouraging smile and I took it for a handshake. I smiled when his hand felt familiar in my mine.

    “Yeah, really great.” I said softly but loud enough for him to hear. I looked at our still linked hands and our eyes met. I pulled my hand back slowly and  smoothed my hair nervously. He seemed as nervous as I was as he rubbed the back of his head.

   “I’ll see you later.” He said as he waved his hand at me. My mind lingered on his words. Later, it was the same thing he said to me the last time I saw him. I always thought the 'later' for us would be in another few months or so. I never expected to see him this soon. I stared deep into his brown eyes, my own heart melting at it's warmth and smiled.

    “Yeah, I’ll see you later.” I murmured. I bowed at him and waved as he walked away with his manager. I just stared at where he disappeared from my sight, the smile still on my lips.

    “Are you okay Vic?” I reluctantly tore my eyes away and looked at manger Oppa with a smile.

    “I’m fine.” I answered. “Really.” I convinced when I saw a slight doubt in his expression.

    “Well, you do look fine. I mean you look better than fine—happy.” I was a bit surprised at Oppa’s words.

    “Oppa… what do you mean?” I tried to cover my worried tone with a laugh. Oppa’s expression was between torn and pity.

    “You look happy—just now, with Nichkhun, you smiled.” I was confused and Oppa looked as daze as I was.

    “I smiled? Oppa, are you okay? I always smile, what’s wrong with that?” I shook his shoulders gently and his eyes shot me a painful look.

    “It never reached your eyes!” I staggered backward a bit as he yelled. “Yeah sure, you say you’re fine and you laugh and smile like nothing’s wrong but you can’t fool me Vic.” He grabbed hold of my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. “You’re eyes used to be different than now. All I could see when I look into your eyes were emptiness.” He took a deep breath and sighed, releasing my shoulders. “Now you’re eyes look more alive, even your smile is different—Vic, he makes you happy.” I was quite stunned at what I was hearing. I roughly shook my head.

    “So what? What do you want me to do?” I asked, furious. So what if Nichkhun makes me happy? It doesn’t change anything. No not change, but it won’t be the same as before. We’re constantly changing and moving forward with our lives. Following our career and letting the world guide us. It’s not the same anymore.

   “Go change your clothes.” He stated seriously.

   “Wh-what?” Before I could say anything more, Oppa grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me towards the dressing room. The stylist was busy talking to her phone in the small room. Oppa asked her to help me change clothes and she nodded.

    “I’ll be waiting in the car.” Oppa said short and left me to change.

    I was shocked, stunned, surprised, confused, furious, sad… all sorts of emotions were mix into this messy ball stuffed in my chest. The dress I was wearing was actually sponsored by the company, the stylist slowly slipped the expensive dress off me without ruining it. I changed back into my shirt and jeans and grabbed my bag before heading towards the car.

    Once I got into the back seat, manager Oppa suddenly started driving before I could close the door properly. He sped down the road and I was honestly terrified by his wild driving. He threw something back at me.

    “Put them on.” He ordered. I look at what he gave me: a big hooded jacket and his big pair of sunglasses. I slipped the jacket and sunglasses on without any questions asked.

    “Oppa, what’s going on?” I finally asked when he stopped driving.

    “I want you to be happy.” He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling with gentleness. “Go get him, Victoria.”

    I looked out the window, we were in front of Incheon airport. I suddenly understood what Oppa was saying. All this time I felt like I was sinking in a bottomless sea but I managed to keep myself afloat all this time. Oppa’s words were like a lifeboat. A little push to save myself from losing the only person that made me happy.

   I hopped out of the car and ran towards the airport without hesitation.

   Nichkhun’s face was all I could see in my mind after that.

~~~

Hello! Sorry I haven't updated so long so I updated two chapters at the same time. Hope you like it. Exams are coming soon so I might be too busy to update every week but I'll try my best. And thank you for the supporting comments. I love you guys!