Victoria’s POV

A week passed by with a blur, as though someone had pressed the fast forward button on their remote and paused on the day of MBC’s Music Festival.

    I arrived at the studio early in the morning with the rest of the hosts for last minute consultation with the directors and producers. The director explained to us every detail necessary about the set we’re hosting in, where we should stand during which segments and I could feel the nerves gnawing on me. By the time it was afternoon, I had already memorized every inch of the stage we were hosting on.

    “Nervous?” Nichkhun suddenly asked, breaking my chain of thought. We were now walking side by side with Jo Kwon, Gain, Eunjung, Jangwoo, Leetuk and Kang Sora walking at the front back to our dressing rooms.

    “I’m fine.” I smiled and chewed my bottom lip anxiously. He opened his mouth to say something else but the coordinator suddenly interrupted.

    “It’s time for dress rehearsals.” The coordinator said and we were suddenly rushed to our dressing rooms to change.

    The girls all shared one dressing room so it was a bit hectic inside with them all excited about the gorgeous clothes and accessories the studio had prepared for us. But I didn’t think much of it as a stylist helped slip on my stage outfit on me. After putting on the accessories and shoes, I just wandered my mind around as the coordinator discussed on what hairstyles I should wear with the hairstylist.

    I was the last one to get finished since there was a mix-up with my shoe-size and also because my hair looked a bit weird. The hairstylist said that it was agreed that I have my hair in a soft wave but my hair looked big and puffy instead.

    “It’s fine.” The coordinator convinced. “I’ll have someone deliver another pair of shoes in your size and the hair…” She looked at my hair for a moment, apologetic and continued, “We’ll fix it up after dress rehearsals.”

    I sighed. The event doesn’t start for another few hours but things were already wrong from the very start. Maybe this is a sign. I sighed again as I looked at my reflection one last time.

    I walked out of the dressing room and was surprised to see someone unexpected waiting for me in the hallway.

    “You okay?” Nichkhun asked and I nodded. “You look great.” Nichkhun complimented and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. I started walking towards the stage but he managed to easily keep up his pace with mine.

    “I look weird.” I said bitterly and he opened his mouth to say something but I immediately shot a glare at him. “My shoes are too big and my hair’s a mess.” I made a face as I ran my fingers through my puffy hair.

    “If it makes you feel better, my blazer lost a button.” He showed me the cuffs of his blazer and indeed a button was missing. I shook my head at him and looked away. Even if a button was missing, Nichkhun still looked perfect. Another feeling of insecurity washed down over me.

    The first half of the dress rehearsal was okay—I guess. The cue-cards helped but my eyes were so focused on the lines that I didn’t interact physically with the rest of the hosts. I just stood still on the stage and held the cue-cards up to my nose.

    “Victoria, don’t just stand there and read your lines. Act it out and be more interactive, especially with Nichkhun. Fans want to see you two be more intimate with each other, that’s the point of bringing you two back together.” The director had yelled at me earlier.

    I sighed.

    After the first half of the rehearsal was done, everyone hurried backstage to change into a different outfit for the second half of the show rehearsal. I slowly walked or to be more specific, shuffled towards the stairs that lead towards the backstage, uncomfortable with the too big shoes I was wearing. As I slowly walked down the steps, I suddenly lost my balance from my oversized shoes. My eyes immediately closed shut but before I could feel the pain of rolling down the stairs, I felt something strong yanking my arm back roughly.

    “Be careful! You could’ve hurt yourself just now!” I opened my eyes and was surprised to see Nichkhun. His expression was furious and his eyes hard. My mind was still in daze as it tried to process the situation.

    Nichkhun kept his grip tight on my arm as he carefully walked me down the steps and he didn’t let go even when we were in the corridor towards the dressing rooms. I was still a bit startled so I just let him towed me, stumbling along the way from the shoes. He finally released my arm when we were in front of my dressing room.

    “Thank you.” I finally said after untangling my thoughts. “You saved me back there.” Nichkhun heaved a heavy sigh as he looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. I was just about to open my mouth to ease the heavy tension when the coordinator came towards us.

    “Victoria-ssi, you should go change now.” I was still a bit dazed as I looked at the coordinator and nodded. “Nichkhun-ssi, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be changing right now?” I looked at Nichkhun and he was still looking at me with the hard expression on his face, ignoring the coordinator.

    “Nichkhun-ssi, you should go now.” I said casually and let out a shaky laugh but he ignored me and turned to look at the coordinator.

    “Get her shoe-size right next time.” His tone was polite but it felt oddly cold and harsh. My eyes widened in surprised as I watched him turned around and walked away towards his dressing room without another word. The coordinator beside me was clearly surprised with Nichkhun’s oddly rude behaviour.

    “Did something happen? Why is he so upset?” The coordinator asked me but I just pulled out a smile.

    “I almost fell down the stairs earlier so I guess he’s just worried.” I explained, even though I doubt that’s why he’s upset. He must be mad cause I’m too careless or that maybe he’s not satisfied with my performance earlier. Was I really a bad host? Is that why he’s so mad? Question after question popped in my mind making me even dizzier than before. 

    The second half of the show’s rehearsal was just between bad and worse. I couldn’t concentrate after the whole incident with Nichkhun earlier and it was hard for me to interact naturally with him after knowing how pissed he was at me. The director yelled at me again and I just let the humiliation soaked itself on me as I welcomed his criticism.

    I didn’t blame anyone since I know how unprofessional I must look like towards the director. I shouldn’t let my personal feelings get in the way of my work, especially something as important as this. I know me and Nichkhun were still in a weird and awkward phase where we were between strangers and acquaintances but I shouldn’t let that get in the way of my career.

    I took a peek at Nichkhun, he was laughing at Jo Kwon’s lines and then he naturally acted out his lines as he said them. I can understand why he could be upset at me as a fellow co-host. He was probably embarrassed to work with me as he was perfect in being a host, unlike me.

    After finishing with the rehearsals, I had a few more hours to spare before the big event. I changed back into my casual clothes and decided to just spend my free time in the dressing room. I flipped through my cue-cards over and over again and checked my facial expressions in the mirror as I practiced.

    “Victoria-ssi,” I turned around in my chair and Eunjung was standing by the door with Gain and Kang Sora behind her. “We’re gonna get something to eat with the guys before the show starts. Want to join us?” I smiled but shook my head at the kind offer.

    “You guys go ahead, I’m just gonna stay here for a while.” Eunjung nodded before leaving with the rest.

    I looked back at my cue-cards and the words were starting to merge with one another. I put down the cards on the make-up counter in front of me and sighed. I got up from my chair and started walking around to ease my mind and calm myself down from all the stress gnawing on me.

    The hallways of MBC were busy with staffs running around, working hard for the show’s success. I suddenly felt guilty as I watched how hard everyone was working. Everything could be ruin if I mess things up and I can’t let that happen. I know it’s been a tough couple of hours but I can’t only think about myself. Just because things had been hard on me, it doesn’t me everyone else should suffer too.

    My feet finally led me out in the small courtyard outside MBC. I took a seat on a wooden bench and leaned back against it as I closed my eyes. The slight breeze was nice against my skin and the sound of cars zooming now and then was quite calming actually. I let my mind wander, not thinking about anything related to the show later. I found myself thinking about food I was suddenly craving for. Maybe I should’ve joined the others and grab something to eat as well. All the stress and pressure was making me hungry.

    “Victoria-ssi?” I opened my eyes and lazily turned my head towards the voice. It was one of the staffs in MBC. He was holding a professional looking camera in his hand as he walked towards me. I quickly got up and bowed at him. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

    “We?” I asked. A few seconds later I realized Nichkhun was standing right behind him. I quickly looked away.

    “I need you to sign this shirt for me.” I looked up at the staff and Nichkhun walked towards me and handed me a marker pen and a black shirt with the show’s name printed on it. Nichkhun’s autograph was already signed on it.

    I took a seat back on the bench and signed my name on the shirt. The staff then asked me and Nichkhun to pose together for a picture with the signed shirt. I hesitated at first but Nichkhun surprised me when he casually pulled me closer next to him. I smiled as the staff took our picture and Nichkhun handed the shirt back at him. The staff thanked us before he left, leaving us two together.

    I sat back down on the bench and Nichkhun took a seat on the far end, facing away from me. I stared at the back of his head for a moment before sighing mentally. I leaned my head back and stared at the slightly dull sky, fitting my mood.

    “I’m sorry.” My body stiffened a bit when I heard Nichkhun’s deep voice murmured but I didn’t turn to look at him. I continued staring at the sky.

    “For what?” I asked casually.

    “For earlier, I overreacted a bit. I didn’t mean to be rude.” He apologized and I finally turned to face him.

    “I don’t blame you.” I said with a solemn smile and leaned my head back again. “I would be mad at me too for being such a horrible host.” I laughed without humour and stared blankly at the sky. But suddenly Nichkhun grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him, the hard expression back on his face.

    “You think I’m upset because of that?” He let out a laugh and I looked at him confusingly. “I’m not gonna lie, hosting is not you’re specialty but that’s not why I’m upset.” I felt my brows furrowed.

    “Then… why?” His smile slowly faded and his expression was a bit serious as he looked at me for a moment.

    “It’s obvious you’re having a really hard time about this,” He stated and looked down at his hands. “And it upsets me knowing there’s nothing I could do to help.” He said almost in a whisper but it was still audible to my ears. I could feel my lips cracking into a small smile. So he’s upset because he was worried about me. A sudden felt of relief washed over me.

    “You… were worried about me?” I asked and after a few long seconds he finally looked up at me.

    “How can’t I?” He muttered softly. “I remember how hard it was for me when I first started hosting.” I suddenly felt touched that after everything we’ve been through, he still looks out for me. Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul, you’re really something.

    “Thanks.” I said as I stared at the MBC building. “It’s hard and I keep thinking that I’m gonna mess it up somehow,” I turned and faced Nichkhun with a bright smile on my face. “But I won’t give up. Let’s just do our best, okay?” Nichkhun smiled back at me and nodded.

    “Victoria-ssi fighting!” He suddenly yelled and we both laughed.

    “Fighting.” I nodded in agreement.

My heartbeat was loud in my ears or is that the sound of the speakers? I clutched the microphone tight in my hands as I waited for the cue to go up on stage. I could hear the loud cheers of the audiences filling up the studio.

    I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Nichkhun smiling encouragingly at me.

    “You’re gonna do just great.” He managed to whisper in my ear before the staff ushered us to go up on stage.

    Unlike the rehearsals earlier, the first half of the show went on smoothly and I felt oddly comfortable than I did before. I could act naturally as I said my lines and I didn’t need to look at my cue-cards as often. I was actually having a great time as the energy the audience was emitting was electrifying.

    Even though Nichkhun said there was nothing he could do for me, well he was dead wrong. All throughout the show, Nichkhun would whisper witty comments and joke around now and then and he has no idea how helpful he was in easing me up. I was really thankful to have him beside me and guide me along so effortlessly.

    After finishing the first half of the show, it was time to change into our second outfits. As I was about to walked down the stairs, Nichkhun wrapped his fingers around my wrist and slowly helped me down.

    “Thanks.” I smiled at him when we were backstage and he beamed at me.

    We quickly got change and got ready for the second half of the show. The staffs complimented on how great I was doing and my confidence completely boosted up a bit. Luck was definitely on my side as the rest of the show went on smoothly.

    After the second half of the show had gone by, it was now to finish up the whole event. The audience cheered and applauded as us hosts said our last few words on stage before bowing thanks to everyone. Confetti and balloons rained down from above as the artists gathered on the stage congratulated each other.

    Everyone came to congratulate me for today’s success but there was only person I wanted to see right now. I looked around the massive crowd of idols and smiled as a few people came to say thanks but I couldn’t spot Nichkhun anywhere. I wanted to thank him for everything. Because of him, I was able to find my confidence on stage.

    I congratulated my way around the immense crowd as I continued searching for Nichkhun. My heart jumped when I felt someone grabbing my arm. I turned around and smiled when it was Nichkhun.

    “I told you you were gonna be great!” He yelled over the uproar of the crowd.

    I leaned closer to him so he could hear me clearly and said, “I couldn’t do it without you.” He smiled sheepishly at me and I giggled.

   “Nichkhun!” We both turned away from each other as someone called him over. I excused myself from him and continued thanking and congratulating everyone on stage.

    The show had finally ended and the crowd started to move make their exits. I was suddenly being squeezed in the middle of the crowd as they rushed down the stairs towards the backstage. My legs wobbled a bit as I struggled to balance myself on the steps as I was squished by the crowd. I prayed that I won’t fall and embarrass myself in front of all these idols. That would be really humiliating.

    My panic shifted into relief when I felt something familiar grabbing me around the waist. I looked up, and as I thought, Nichkhun was grinning at me. He guided me down the stairs carefully and I couldn’t help but gaze at him as he protected me from the pushing of the crowd.

    Everyone was gathered in the standby room as they chatted with one another but Nichkhun pulled me away from the crowd towards the hallways of MBC.

    “I can’t believe it’s finally over with.” I sighed with relief and smiled.

    “I’ve gotta handed to you, you were really like a pro up there.” Nichkhun laughed when I rolled my eyes at him.

    “I know I did well but don’t exaggerate it.” He chuckled and nodded. I giggled as I looked at him and my heart suddenly raced when we both were staring into each other’s eyes now. Then I realized we were holding hands. “Um…” I said as I looked at our hands and we both immediately let go. Nichkhun cleared his throat and started looking around awkwardly. I bit my bottom lip as I stared on the floor.

    “Vic!” I was startled as I heard someone called my name. I turned around and saw manager Oppa waving at the end of the hallway.

    I turned back at Nichkhun and my chest tightened when I saw Tiffany walking towards us at the other end of the hallway. I turned back at Nichkhun and tilted my head at her direction. “I should get going.” I bowed at him and turned around.

    As I walked towards manager Oppa, I slowly turned around and saw Nichkhun walking the opposite way towards Tiffany. I suddenly wanted to run towards him and tell him not to leave. My chest tightened again. Again, because of him I’m feeling this weird feeling again. I continued walking on forward.

    “Something wrong?” Manager Oppa asked when I reached him. I shook my head at him and smiled.

    “No, just a bit sad that it’s finally over.” I stated with a sad smile on my face.

    “It’s just a show. I’m sure you’ll receive a lot more hosting jobs after this.” Manger Oppa tried comforting me. “Common let’s go.” He said and started walking.

    “That’s not why I’m sad.” I murmured under my breath as I looked back and stared at Nichkhun’s figure walking away with Tiffany.

~~~

Ohmigosh, first of all I'm really sorry for not updating so long but I have my reasons. 

I've been stressd for weeks now cause this isn't my original chapter. My little brother accidentally deleted my original file after I worked so hard on it and it was really diffucult for me to rewrite it all back. I keep getting writers blockage and it felt like a dead end.

Even though it took me a long time, I managed to write back this chapter but it's not... satisfying? Well, now exams are coming up, again so I might not update for another few weeks. I'll try my best! Fighting!!! <3