Victoria’s POV

Victoria… He whispered before taking me into his strong arms; our lips brushing. I laughed and pushed him away, running towards nowhere.

    I turned around, expecting him to be chasing after me—but he was gone.

    I was alone.

    I was still running.

    I was confused.

    I was in the dark.

    I saw something ahead as I ran in the endless darkness and finally stopped when I saw… me? But I wasn’t alone.

    I was smiling as a man with a face of an angel lifted me off my feet and spun me around. He murmured something in my ear and I giggled as he placed his lips on my cheek. I looked happy.

    I took a step further and stopped when I realized there was a huge glass between me and them. I placed my fingers on the cool glass and tears welled up in my eyes. I kept my gaze on myself who was obviously being in love with the man holding me.

    I felt furious at this illusion in front of me. It’s not real. It’s only a figment of my imagination. I’m right here, alone. That is all a lie.

    “You’re not real!” I shrieked.

    The glass cracked and burst into a million pieces. I could see a different memory playing on each piece of the shattered glass as it rained all over me.

The first time we met.

The events he made for me.

The moments in our house.

The time we played by the sea.

Every hug he gave me.

The first time he proposed.

Our wedding.

Our first kiss.

    Everything was flashing really fast yet so vivid. I felt the sweetness and the stab of pain all in one mix. I fell on my knees and started to sob his name out.

Nichkhun…

    I suddenly felt something warm tracing itself on my face. I opened my eyes and there he was; kneeling in front of me, the boyish smile on his face. I lunged towards him and clutched on his shirt as tight as I could—I never want to let him go.

    He chuckled and gently pushed me back to look at my face. He leaned closer and stopped as his lips were about to touch mine. I waited for him to continue further but he didn’t move. Slowly, I could see him disappearing. Afraid of losing him again, I closed the small gap between our lips and forced him to stay.

    He let out another chuckle and stared deep into my eyes, overwhelming me with a sweet and warm sensation that made my body tingle. He kissed my forehead and the warmth still lingered there. For some reason the kiss on my forehead felt more real than the rest. I could actually feel the warmth…

I was conscious now but still kept my eyes close. A tender pressure was felt on my forehead, just like in my dream. Was I still dreaming?

    “Mianhae.” A voice that sent my heart racing whispered. I could feel his warm breath on my ear and I tried to stop myself from shuddering when I felt his skin against mine as he pulled me closer.

    He’s still here, I mentally sighed with relief and fell back into unconsciousness. The bad dream from earlier was forgotten and replaced by sweeter ones.  

I slowly opened my eyes and squinted; it was bright in the room. Rays of sunlight entered from the screen doors making me feel slightly clammy at the warmth. I got up and stretched my arms, my whole body felt awfully sore.

    I rubbed my eyes and stared at my bare legs, adjusting my eyes to the light. I cocked my head to the side when I realized what I was wearing; it was Nichkhun’s clothes. The encounter with him suddenly flashed before my eyes, making me giggle.

    “Oh!” I cupped my mouth when I remembered that I slept on the same bed with him. I looked around but the bed was empty. I was confused for a second. I was sure that he slept right next to me.

Mianhae

    I placed a hand on my forehead. Was that really a dream? But it felt so real. Did he really kiss my forehead? I shook my head. Nah, it’s not possible. I was probably imagining it, but his apology was real. I knew it was real; his voice was clear in my head… but why?

    “Morning sleepyhead.” My eyes almost popped of their sockets when I saw a tall and lanky figure leaned against the doorframe. His face was not at all friendly.

    “O-Oppa…” I stammered. What was manager Oppa doing here? He gave me a dark glare, his brows furrowed together. He was occupied with his own thoughts. I look around and figured out what was on his mind. Here I was, on a bed with Nichkhun clothes on… I realized how this situation might look like to him right now.

    I quickly got out of the bed and tried explaining to him. “Oppa, it’s not what it looks like. I… I—” He cut me off.

    “Save it.” His voice was hard. I looked down on my toes and my hands were folded in front of me; the posture of guilt. “Nichkhun’s the one who called me here. Don’t worry he already explained everything to me.” His voice was still hard. I took a peek at him from under my lashes, his face was furious. I quickly looked back down.

    “Oppa… sorry.” I apologized quietly. I felt like a child apologizing to his father after doing something bad. I heard him heaved a heavy sigh.

    “It’s okay.” I finally dared to look at him when his voice was softened back to normal. “I’ve put some fresh clothes for you in the bathroom. Go get ready, you have a schedule later.” I nodded and beamed a bright smile at him. Oppa just rolled his eyes and left.

    After taking a nice warm shower and changed into my own set of clothes, I took a quick look in the mirror and fix my hair before coming out of the bathroom. I made up the messy bed first, smoothing out the comforters and placing the pillows neatly against the bedframe. I smiled when I remembered the moments me and Nichkhun shared on this bed, including the one earlier today.

    I sat on the edge of the bed and started folding the clothes Nichkhun lent me. My fingers lingered at his shirt as I thought about him. I giggled and blushed when I started folding his boxers.

    “You have no sense at all Nichkhun-ssi. Really… giving me your boxers.” I snickered. “But still, thank you.” I patted the neatly folded clothes and placed them inside my bag with the toiletries that Oppa had also brought for me and with my dry sweats I wore yesterday. I got up and took one last look around the white room. “Goodbye!” I waved goodbye and bowed before walking down the stairs.

    I went straight towards the laundry room and snatched my hooded sweater before running up the stairs again.

    “Are you ready?” Oppa asked as he got up from the kitchen stool.

    “Yup.” I stuffed my sweater in my bag and looked up at him with a bright smile. “Oh… where?” My expression changed into a twist of confusion as I looked around the living room—it was completely empty.

    “Oh yeah, the moving crew came earlier and moved all the boxes. You were lucky I was here to stop them from checking upstairs. I was here right at the nick of time.” He shot me another glare and sighed.

    I nodded and smiled sombrely. All of the stuff that held many memories were gone and probably thrown away by the moving crew. I sighed. I wanted to take some things back with me like the pictures and the couple items I got from fans. At least I’ll know it was real if I have something as proof that Nichkhun and I once shared something beautiful. But now they’re all gone.

    “It’s a good thing Nichkhun had called me or you’ll be in deep trouble if anyone found out you slept here.” I looked back at him with an apologetic smile on my lips. I mouthed the word ‘sorry’ at him but he just shook his head. “Oh yeah, I forgot something. I saw Nichkhun earlier before he left and he told me to tell you to take care of yourself and see you later.”

    It took an extra few seconds for me to clearly process his words. See you later. Is there really a ‘later’ for us? Nichkhun is on his way to return into the bright and shining star he is and I have to return back to where I belong as well. Maybe there is a ‘later’ for us, but not anytime soon. I took another look around the living room. As much as I wanted this to never end, unfortunately it already did. And I can’t do anything about it.

    “Oppa, let’s go.” I said and rushed out of the house. My eyes suddenly stung but I forced myself to swallow back the lump in my throat. I saw the car parked in front of the house and quickly got into the back seat.

    Manager Oppa hopped in the front seat and started the engine. I looked at clock on the dashboard; 11.05 a.m. He’s probably boarding the plane right now. I suddenly wondered whether I would still be able to make it on time to the airport to see him again before we go our own separate ways. There’s so many things hanging between us and as much as I want to hold on, I just don’t think I can anymore.

    “Are you ready to leave?” Oppa asked. I look at the house through the tinted window one last time. I knew what Oppa actually meant but for some reason, all I heard was something else.

    Was I ready to leave this small world me and Nichkhun had built and shared? After this, we would only be F(x)’s Victoria and 2PM’s Nichkhun, full stop. We are no longer related to one another anymore. Was I ready to leave all the past behind and move forward? But what if he does have feelings for me? Can I really just let it all go? Will I really be able to move forward without any regrets? Am I willing to risk what could have been?

    “Yeah, I’m ready.”

    Oppa nodded and started driving. When we finally reached the freeway, I looked at the bright blue sky and saw an airplane cutting through the clouds. I placed my fingers against the cool glass of the car’s window as my eyes followed the airplane.

    “I’ll see you later.” I murmured to myself and tore my eyes away from the window and looked straight ahead at the heavy traffic on the freeway.

    Let’s move forward… the both of us.