Victoria's POV

“What time is it?” I asked Nichkhun, even though I knew the answer. I didn’t need to know the actual time to know that this man in front of me was no longer my husband.

    Nichkhun looked at his wrist watch and stared at it, hesitating. After a few seconds he answered shakily, trying to cover it with a laugh. “12.15…” I stopped breathing. Nichkhun sighed and looked at me, the sweet boyish smile I love on his face.

    “Ended already…” I trailed off, a sad smile on my face. “We… must end happily.” Even though I said that, it couldn’t possibly be a happy ending when we are separating from each other. I could hear my own voice slightly cracking.

    Nichkhun only sighed.

    “During this 1 year and 3 months, there were a lot of happy moments… a lot of blissful things—we spent it very happily.” I didn’t dare to look him in the eyes as I said those words. But I promised myself that the last time Nichkhun saw me, is with a smile on my face. “Thank you for taking care of me.” I smiled at him sincerely as I really meant it. The memories of the little things he did for me shot through me like a blade.

    Nichkhun only nodded as he looked at me with slightly glassy eyes.

    “I, will always be by your side, understand?” He reassured me, but I knew it was only an empty promise. I nodded anyways.

    “Let’s go.” He held out his hand and I instantly laced my fingers with his.

    We got up from the small coffee table and started walking towards the exit. Nichkhun said something but I was still holding my breath and just smiled in response. My hands were shaking but the hand Nichkhun was holding shook more violently as his hand was also trembling. I felt a sob rising in my throat.

    When we disappeared around the corner—from the sights of the cameras and the staff, I heard the director yelled, “CUT! Great job everybody.”

    It was finally over. I bit the inside of my cheek to prove that this is all a dream, that I was still at our house, on our bed, next to my Nichkhun… but it was real and the ‘our house’, ‘our bed’, ‘my Nichkhun’—that was a dream.

    I wanted to cry but I can’t. I could hear the sound of the staff congratulating each other for their success for today’s final episode. I cringed at the word ‘final’. Something squeezed my hand and I realized I was still with Nichkhun in the dark empty hallway. I gently loosened my hand from his grip and forced a bright smile on my face.

    “We should go back with the rest of the staff.” I suggested. Nichkhun smiled but said nothing more. I took a few steps back and bowed. “It was really a pleasure working with you Nichkhun-ssi. I wish you all the best.” I smiled sincerely as I tried memorizing every detail of his face, this would probably be the last time I would be face to face with him like this.

    Nichkhun was still silent as he stared at me with his warm brown eyes. My eyes suddenly stung when I felt the familiarity of his eyes giving me a warm and electrifying feeling. I had to get out of here.

    I turned around and intended to go back with the staff to thank everyone and head straight to the ladies room to let a few tears fall. I couldn’t keep my face straight anymore. I wanted to scream as the pain in my chest was unbearable. I could feel the sobs clawing their way up my throat and the tears ready to ruin my makeup.

    As I was about to take a step forward, something strong yet so soft was around my waist. I froze. Nichkhun hugged me from behind. His muscular hands were squeezing me too tight but I wasn’t complaining. Unconsciously I placed my hands on top of his and gripped them tightly, my nails practically digging into his skin. I felt his face on my neck and his warm breath on my ear. I closed my eyes when I could smell his scent; sweet and musky.

    I wished time would stop but my mind was literally screaming at me to snap out of it. Even though my heart refused to let him go but my mind knew that it will be much harder and much, much more painful for me to forget him later if I didn’t stop this now.

    “Nichkhun-ssi, Victoria-ssi, you can come out now. We’re done with the shooting.” The director’s voice startled both me and Nichkhun.

    Nichkhun pulled his arms off my waist and started walking back into the views of everyone else. My body was quick to follow him as my mind was still in daze. What had just happened?

    “Yah, you guys really did an amazing job on this show. It was really a pleasure working with you two.” The director smiled and slightly bowed at us.

    “Oh no, no. The pleasure was ours. We couldn’t do any of this without you, and the staff of course. So, thank you.” Nichkhun corrected him and bowed. The director laughed and we both joined in—but I sounded like I was choking instead. The director patted Nichkhun’s shoulder before excusing himself and I said goodbye while putting on a bright smile on my face—well trying to.

    “Nichkhun-ssi, the car’s already waiting outside.” Seo Min Jae, Nichkhun’s manager suddenly interrupted. "You have another schedule in an hour."

    “Huh? Oh okay.” Nichkhun turned to look at me and I smiled.

    “I guess this is goodbye then. Again, thank you for taking care of me.” I smiled as widely as I could and bowed. His eyes never left mine and he didn’t smile back.

    “Hyung, let me take Victoria-ssi to her car first. I’ll meet you downstairs.” I looked at him with surprise. After a few seconds of processing his words I finally responded.

    “No, no. It’s okay, I’m fine.” I shook my head as I rejected his polite gesture.

    “Hyung, you can go first. I’ll be right back.” Nichkhun ignored me as he waved his manager off. The moment his manager disappeared, he turned to look at me. I was confused at first. Why is he doing this? Does he have something to tell me? “Where’s your car?” He asked.

    Nichkhun raised an eyebrow when I didn’t answer and leaned his face closer. I was shocked at our sudden closeness and blurted, “Parking lot.” He chuckled and pulled my hand—my heart fluttered at his touch—, towing me towards the elevator.

    He didn’t let go of my hand even when we were in the elevator or when he took me to the parking lot towards my car. Manager Oppa was leaning against the hood of the car and I saw him staring at me then at Nichkhun then at our entwined hands then looking away as if he didn’t see anything.

   Nichkhun gave a polite smile at manager Oppa and Oppa’s face mimicked mine—confused. Manager Oppa quickly opened the door for me and Nichkhun helped me in, his hand still holding mine tightly. Even when I was perfectly settled in my seat, his face showed no intention of letting my hand go. It started to get awkward with him just holding my hand and manager Oppa staring at us.

    “Umm… Uh… Thanks for taking me to my car.” I finally said nervously. He chuckled and to my relief,—though a bit disappointed—he released my hand.

    “No problem. Besides I can’t let a girl walk in this empty parking lot all alone.” He smiled his boyish smile.

   I looked around and realized that the parking lot was almost vacant and dark. I was suddenly glad Nichkhun didn’t listen to me earlier. But quickly I felt a wave of disappointment when I realised he was just being his usual gentleman character that he portrays to everyone. I guess he would do the same thing if it was a staff or anyone else.

    “Okay then, good night Victoria-ssi.”

    “Huh? Oh, good night to you too Nichkhun-ssi.” I bowed at him in my seat as he closed my door shut. What was I expecting?

    I expected him to say something, anything that can stop this confusion in my head—this pain in my heart.

    I stared at his figure through the dark tinted window. I watched him disappear and sighed, slumping myself back against the leather seat.

    “Vic… are you okay?” Manager Oppa asked once he was settled in the driver's seat, his voice a bit hesitant. I sighed again.

    “Just take me home Oppa.” I murmured. I wondered if he heard me but after a minute of silence, I guess he did.

    I stared out at the window, at the colourful lights of the city because I didn’t want to see manager Oppa’s worried stares from the review mirror. When we finally reached the front of my apartment, I dashed out of the car without waiting for manager Oppa to me—like he usually would—and went straight upstairs to my dorm. I prayed that the F(x) members were already asleep as I unlocked the door. The lights were still on—they’re awake.

    “Vic-unnie! You’re back!” Sulli’s voice squealed before I could even close the door behind me.

    “Oh you’re back early.” The voice came from Luna who was busy rummaging the refrigerator.

   “We were expecting you to be late from your… um… date.” Amber who was lying on the couch said, she winked at the last word and the others giggled in unison.

    “What did you guys do by the way?” Luna asked with excitement. Amber scooted over so Luna could sit next to her—a leftover sandwich in her hands.

    “Did he do another romantic event perhaps?” Krystal guessed as she took a sit on the floor. Luna and Sulli squealed as they imagined god knows what.

    “Oh! Did he confess his love?” Sulli eyes widened with excitement as she said those words.

    “Yah Sul, it can’t be…” Luna said but as she thought about it her eyes grew. “Omo! You’re right. They’ve been together long enough.” The girls squealed and giggled, except for Amber who was rolling her eyes at their childish behaviour.

   “You guys watch way too much romance dramas.” Amber teased. Luna slapped Amber’s knee with annoyance and she yelped.

    “Didn’t you see them earlier? The way he looks at her…” Luna shrieked with giddiness as she recalled the anniversary party earlier. Sulli quickly agreed by joining Luna’s shriek. Amber looks more annoyed and Krystal was clearly puzzled.

    “What do you mean by the way he looks at Vic-unnie?” Krystal asked. Krystal had a schedule earlier so she couldn’t come to the anniversary party.

    “Wow, you should’ve been there. Nichkhun Oppa was all googly eyes…” Luna giggled before she could finish her sentence. Sulli and Krystal laughed.

    “Who throws a 456 days anniversary party anyway?” Amber questioned and the others started to wonder as well. I suddenly realized that the members didn’t know anything about the… divorce. I assumed the director or staff would’ve told them soon after they left but I guess not.

    “Who cares? It’s still sweet and romantic.” Sulli concluded. The girls laughed and they continued telling Krystal every detail at the party since she was too busy to come by. Amber soon looked interested and the girls started discussing how Nichkhun would’ve confessed towards me. I shook my head and decided not to say anything. I left them and walked towards my room, letting them imagine any romantic movie scenes me and Nichkhun would have.

    Once I entered my room, I went straight towards my comfy bed and plopped myself on it. I was too tired—emotionally—to wash up for bed but I have to take good care of myself. Lazily, I got off my bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, changed into some comfy sweats and plopped myself back on my bed again.

    My eyelids were getting heavier and I yawned. I closed my eyes and Nichkhun’s handsome face popped in my mind. My eyes snapped back opened and I shook my head. I tossed and turned but I still couldn’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Nichkhun. And if I can’t close my eyes, I can’t sleep. And if I can’t sleep, I’ll think of Nichkhun. I groaned.

    I curled into a ball as I remembered the moment we were in the empty hallway. I wondered why he hugged me liked that. Part of me wanted to believe that he has feelings for me, but part of me doubt that it’s true. Or maybe that's how people say goodbye in Thailand or America.

    Yeah right, the voice in my head retorted. Well... maybe, maybe he does... sort of... like me? Huh, even my inner-voice was unsure.

   Exasperated, I snatched my phone on the nightstand and dialled Nichkhun’s number. Before I could press the call button, I placed back my phone. What was I going to say? Hey, sorry for calling so late, but I wanted to know why you hugged me earlier. By any chance, do you like me?

    I shook my head. That’s nonsense, pure nonsense.

    I lay back and tried singing myself to sleep instead. But the only song that popped in my head was Nichkhun’s I’m In Love. I must be going crazy. If this goes on, I won’t be able to sleep forever! I snatched back my phone and a photo of me and him was on the screen.

    “Ugh, it’s all your fault!” I hit Nichkhun’s photo on the screen. “Because of you I’m going to have dark circles under my eyes.” I yelled, hitting his picture again.

    Slowly my anger started to fade as I stared at his smiling face on my phone. His soft dark brown hair, his big doe eyes, his soft lips… I miss him.

   Calling him was beginning to be more tempting. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to hear him laugh. I wanted to know whether… whether… he loves me like… I love him. I smiled at the unknown fact. I love him.

    But he might not feel the same way.

    My phone was calling my name now—begging me to call Nichkhun. My mind was already in circles and the imaginary voice of my phone wasn’t helping. Frustrated, I threw the phone under my pillow and slammed my head on top of it, preventing it from persuading me any longer.

    I hate this. I hate this!

   The tears that I've been holding back finally got loose when I playback all of our sweet memories in my mind and it didn't stop even when I fell asleep.

    "Babo..." I muttered before I continued enjoying the sweet dreams.

~~~~~

Hi! I hope you guys like the first chapter. This is my first fanfic so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes and such. I'm a huge Khuntorian so I wondered everyday what happened to them when WGM ended. I always thought to myself, 'Was it real?' and so I decided to make a fanfic. I hope you guys enjoy!

Thanks for reading <3