Reply Twenty-Eight

He had that beautiful eye smile. The ends of his eyes formed little crinkles. They resembled crescent mooㅡwait, that word is overrated. They resembled rainbows. Half-circles. Curves. They reminded me of bridges. Ok, crescent moons sounds better. 

His eyes sparkled whenever I had seen him. But those sparkles were never meant for me. He had never noticed me the way I had regarding him. Re-reading my old scrapbook filled with all the feelings I had for him brought back memories. He was like the setting sun in Summer. The color shifting of leaves in Autumn. The untouched snow on streets in Winter. And the blooming flowers in Spring. If you cringed upon reading this, well, sorry. That was the me in 2005 where I had newly fallen in love with him. 

"Have I really written this?" I asked to no one in particular. My father had forced me to tidy up my room and throw the things away I didn't need anymore. One of his friends - whom I had always called Uncle - worked in a litter service, and he was just downstairs with his van parked in front of our house. It was convenient for us to finally get rid of all the old things. 

The scrapbook I had used back when I was 14 made me cringe a lot. Granted that I was still young, and I hadn't known that a life exited outside of love. I had only seen him, after all. He was just so perfect in my eyes. His smile. His voice. I couldn't blame my 14-year-old self. 

The light wood-colored scrapbook with the red binding was divided into two parts. The first one - which I had already started in 2005 - was all about my feelings for him. How I had seen him as the most perfect guy. How he had been the drug in my life and a few other things I wouldn't love to repeat or remember. The second part was also filled with him, but I had also cared to write about other things such as song lyrics. Taeyang's song had been written on a page for me to remember the lyrics. Even some resolutions I'd had in mind back in 2007 and 2008. I had also stuck a picture of Johnny at the back of the book. 

Funnily enough, the letter to the stranger Johnny from Elizabeth was still slipped in between the pages. I had almost forgotten about it. Messily written by Eunji and me and a few crumbled spots where the letter was held by hands. It was the first reminder I had. And looking at it made my heart clench just a little. 

"Hana! Are you done with packing?" my father shouted from downstairs, referring to the box next to my door. 

"Just a few minutes." I grabbed the scrapbook, pulled the letter out and placed it on my desk before putting all the things I didn't need anymore into the box. 

My father was already watching me with impatient eyes as I greeted Uncle with a bright smile. He seemed to have gained a bit weight when I hugged him. Mom was telling my grandparents - who had just woken up - why our house was filled with boxes. My grandmother wasn't the type of woman to like disorder and mess in her surrounding. Uncle looked at me before saying, "Hanaegi, you are coming with us?"

I looked at my dad for an answer but he shook his head. "Hana needs to help her mom prepare food for the guests."

"Guests? Who is coming?" I asked, perplexed. 

"Your aunt."

My aunt apparently was going to be discharged from hospital because she had undergone a surgery where they had removed one of her kidneys. Why my parents had never cared to tell me was stupid. Like I was too young to know all these. My mom had explained that they had wanted to make sure it would be a success before telling me. They hadn't wanted me to feel the disappointment after the failure. Well, I felt disappointed in my parents for keeping such a secret. 

Though, the disappointment hadn't prevented me from feeling the relief and happiness of hearing the news. My aunt was going to be all right. After all that had happened to her, she was finally going to be discharged. I was more than just happy. I was amazed, excited, glad. I thanked God for hearing my prayers. 

But it wasn't only her who would come over.  Eunji's family and Myungsoo's, too, were invited. 

In the end, some of my aunt's friends had filled the seats around the round table. Eunji sat next to me, Myungsoo with his brother (who had healed well after his little problem down there) in front of us. I felt rather strange in the adults' presence. They had drunk a few cocktails and were loud. The man next to me had told me I was very pretty after a few drinks. Eunji had stood up and changed the seats with me, not before glaring at that man. I was so disgusted. 

My father hadn't said anything either. He had acted like those people weren't disturbing my grandparents' sleep at all. Eunji's parents had gone back to their house earlier because her mother was once an alcoholic mess, and she hadn't wanted it to happen again when the cocktails had been made. Myungsoo's parents looked as uncomfortable as we did. They were definitely against alcohol, and that was when I had felt disappointed with my father for the second time that day. 

"I have a nephew. And that brat told his parents he wanted to audition for SM or something." That slightly tipsy male looked across the faces who were watching him, enjoying all the attention. "He said he wanted to be a singer because it's his dream and so on. I instantly told my brother. Hey, don't let that brat keep on dreaming that . He's never going to succeed with his face."

He gained a few snickers from his stupid audience as it drove him to continue with his storytelling. I just wanted to slap him across his ugly face for acting like a bully as an adult. When I looked at Myungsoo's clenched jaw, I knew he wanted to do the same. My mother was already lying on bed so I couldn't count on her for help. To our luck, Myungsoo's parents finally told their children to get some fresh air with us. 

I ignored the rude remarks from the drunk adults as I walked out of my own house with Eunji, Myungsoo and his brother. 

Seeing the night sky almost made me forget what had happened in the living room. The tiny stars almost letting me throw out all the negative thoughts. I wanted to embrace the view above me so much it nearly made me cry. 

"Forget it." said Myungsoo next to me softly. "Don't remember it. Don't think about it."

I looked at him, pain reflecting in my eyes. He didn't know why I acted this way. He didn't know what had bothered me the most. But his calm voice made me want to trust his words and just let it go. He wanted to hug me because I saw him lifting his arms a little before clenching his fists. I turned around and walked to Eunji. 

"Shall we eat some ice cream?" I asked, smiling little. She looked at me as if I had grown another head on my shoulders since we had already eaten my mom's desert when the adults had drunk the cocktails, but I really just wanted to be distracted. 

"Yeah! Let's grab some ice cream." Moonsoo cheered, making my heart calm down a little when a car pulled out in front of us and a tall male walked out with his dog. His face was only lit up by the street lanterns but from what I had seen, he looked kind of good-looking. 

"Excuse me, kids. Can you tell me where the Son family lives?" he asked with a warm eye smile. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. 

"Right here. Why?"

"Oh, I'm picking up my girlfriend." he said, petting the dog in his hands. Laughter and the clinking of glasses could be heard from the house as he averted his eyes away from the building behind us and glanced our way. "Seems like they are still celebrating."

I tried my best to figure out just who that girlfriend of him was because from what I had observed, the females looked like over 30. Maybe almost 40, and that male in front of us was probably in his mid 20s. Eunji, on the other hand, was too busy fondling the Shih Tzu dog. 

"I'm Nam Boohyun, anyways. I guess you kids came from the house? Correct me if I'm wrong." He laughed, and that was when everything made sense to me. He was Woohyun's brother. Of course. The same eye smile. The same sound of laughter. The dog, Kim Sunggyu. OK, the dog's name probably wasn't Sunggyu but I just remembered the memory of the last day of summer when I had met my first love on the basketball fields. When we had kinda talked about naming his dog after his friend. And I only knew one guy whose surname was Nam. 

"Did you just say Nam Boohyun?" Eunji asked so suddenly even he was surprised. "Do you have a little brother?"

"Well, yeah. He was supposed to babysit this guy," he answered, looking fondly at the dog, "but he disappeared and left a note, telling me I have the duty today."

"How old is this little baby?" Moonsoo asked interested in the Shih Tzu dog. I couldn't understand why the both of them liked him so much. He was kinda ugly in my opinion. 

"2 years."

"And his name?"

"Hyunnie. But my little brother calls him Gyu which is why he only listens to the name Gyu at times." He looked kinda sad about the fact as he continued fondling the dog. But I was too perplexed with the fact that Woohyun had indeed started to call him after his friend to even bother about Eunji and Moonsoo overly petting him. Well, it was rather a bittersweet revelation. Like it was shoving into my face of what could've happened between Woohyun and me. 

I soon told him to enter the house and assured him that it was OK for his dog to walk in since it seemed like he felt bothered about it. The Kim brothers, Eunji and I then went to the little convenience store to buy some ice cream. The old lady greeted us with her toothy grin, making me wonder why she was the only one working even at this hour. 

Eunji walked next to me, her fingers curled around the plastic spoon to scoop some ice cream. "He was Woohyun's brother, right?"

I smiled slightly, opening my popsicle. I was about to taste the delicious mix of strawberry and orange when my best friend asked me, "Are you still bothered because of your aunt's friend and his remark?"

I shook my head. "Can we talk about it later?"

"OK, but don't keep this stuff to you again. You need to trust me more. I want to know your problems." 

When we went back, most of my aunt's friends were already gone, including Boohyun and his girlfriend. It was a pity, though, because I had wanted to know just whom he dated from all the horrible people. Eunji had already left for her own home as I entered the kitchen and saw Mrs. Kim washing the dishes. I immediately grabbed the plates carefully away and smiled at her. "Please. You don't need to do this. You are the guest. It's my task."

"Hana," she said softly, smiling so genuinely at me, "let me do this. You are tired. Go and talk with Myungsoo. Tell him we're going home once I'm done."

I wanted to refuse, but Myungsoo already walked into the kitchen and literally dragged me out. Arriving in the living room, I noticed that everyone was already gone. Even my aunt and my father whom I had seen a few minutes ago. 

"Sooyun was a bit drunk. I took her to your guest room. And your father was taken care of by your mother." Myungsoo explained after seeing my surprised expression. "The others have gone back home."

I nodded slightly, taking notice of Moonsoo falling asleep on the coach with his father pulling a blanket over him. I felt bad for the Kim family. His mom was washing the dirty dishes for us. His father looked worn out. Moonsoo seemed to have had an awesome day but he was tired. And Myungsoo wasn't his happy self either. 

"Come on. You are tired." I had to laugh inwardly because he, himself, had those droopy eyes and sleep deprivation written across his face. He led me to my own room, telling me to wash my face and change my clothes. He waited outside the whole time until I was done. 

When I opened the door, I saw him opening his eyes tiredly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For today." I bit my bottom lip just to distract myself. Today was supposed to be a happy day. Because my aunt was finally released from the hospital after all this time. I was supposed to fall asleep with the feeling of accomplishment. But why did this day fail so hard?

"Please don't blame yourself." His eyes bored into mine and for a moment, I felt myself getting lost in his dark orbs. "Don't think about it, OK? Think of the little puppy Coco...or Hyunnie if you found him cute."

"He was kinda ugly. The ugly kind of cute."

"And I thought I was the only one." We both chuckled a little before we lapsed into silence. It was the silence where one noticed every detail. The ticking sound of my wall clock. The steady breathing of Myungsoo. The clinking of glasses in the kitchen. My grandfather's snoring. 

"Don't hate Sooyun for bringing her friends, OK? She was finally released from the hospital. Of course, she wanted to celebrate. Although the adults' behavior was not acceptable." He made a small pause. "Just ignore everything that had happened today. Pretend nothing ever happened. This day doesn't exist."

He was talking about the incident with the male who had somehow flirted with me. With a shrug, I waved the matter away. "It's all right."

"No," he yelled a little too loudly, "please don't do this. If something's wrong, tell me. Please don't keep it to yourself."

Although Eunji had said the same today, his words gave off a different feeling. Like he had already said those to someone. Like he hadn't directed his words to me. Like he wasn't even here. 

The next morning my mother asked me who had cleaned the living room. I told her that Myungsoo's mother had insisted in helping out and that I had fallen asleep after Myungsoo had brought me to my room. My mother seemed a bit troubled by it, but composed herself faster than I could wonder about her expression. She told me to help my father with his hangover and left for some grocery shopping. 

At afternoon, I went to the gas station just to make sure that Howon was alright. In the train, I saw Sungjong (was it his name?) with a long-haired girl. Constantly glaring at him because I still held a grudge for him insulting me back in high school. But that used-to-be Femme looked different now. Cooler. Less feminine. And him acting like a gentleman in front of his date, protecting her from pushing people and keeping eye contact. He actually gave off that charismatic vibe I only knew from Woohyun and Howon. Suddenly, he wasn't Femme boy anymore. He wasn't that ruthless hoobae. 

When I arrived at Busan guy's workplace, he didn't even pay any attention to me. He was busy explaining Miyoung something. But I didn't blame him. Because he had other friends as well. And interrupting his conversation with her for me would be too rude. So I just sat next to them, listening to them talking. 

"Just meet me at the station. Then, we're going together." said Howon, typing something on his phone. She nodded before looking my way and greeting me with her eye smile. Why was I the only one who couldn't smile like that?

"Hey Hana. I haven't greeted you yet. Although I need to say bye now." She took her bag from the seat next to her and left the staff room not before biding goodbye with the other three in the room. Inguk quickly stopped her to give her some keys and said something to her. She, then, left. 

"You asked her for a date?" I wondered, watching her leave the store from the windows of the staff room that were partly covered with curtains. 

"A date? No. Just a meeting between friends." Howon turned to me, smiling. "I forgot to tell you. I'm going to the underground battles."

After his father had hit him, he had stopped going there just because he had lost his motivation. Being constantly told that he wasn't good enough and that it was a shallow dream had made him loose his energy. It had been pitiful. Because dancing was his passion. And he'd had to give up. 

"FeelDog came to the shop one day. You know, that guy I used to talk to a lot in class. Oh Gwangsuk. Remember how I told you that we were like long lost brothers. He was also one of the dancers."

I almost forgot about that guy. He was one of Howon's close male friends from high school. Besides Sunggyu and Woohyun, Oh Gwangsuk was the closest to him. But honestly, I had never really paid that much attention to him. He was just a random classmate who had been quite most of the time. And I had never seen them that much together. 

"And he said the people down there are missing me. I guess he gave me a reason to pick up dancing again. I couldn't just give it up." Busan guy was smiling so brightly, it made me nearly forget the words from my aunt's friend. Not the drunk one who had said I was pretty. Because I could care less about him. But that guy who had stomped on his nephew's dreams like the he was. What if his nephew wanted to audition at SM? What if his face wasn't as handsome as Kim Jaejoong's? That boy had a dream. He just wanted some people to believe in him. And his uncle had dared to convince his father to stop him from supporting him. The whole incident had made me so angry because I wondered whether Howon's father had thought the same. Whether he had also made fun of him for having a dream. I wondered just how much he was suffering from all this. 

But Busan guy wasn't going to be brought down. He wasn't going to give up even though obstacles were throwing themselves on his road. And the thought made me smile. It made all the bad things lighten up a bit. 

"And Miyoung was curious about the dance battles so I invited her." 

That was when I realized how wrong my perceptions sometimes were. That some things were actually not what they seemed like from the outside. That the actual Woohyun was probably less perfect than my fantasy-Woohyun. That my aunt was a different woman I had wished for. That Myungsoo had a lot of things on his plate that he couldn't talk about so he just pretended to be OK. That Sungjong might actually be a good guy. And that Howonㅡ

Looking at him smiling silently to himself made me wonder about his feelings for her. 

Winter 2009 wasn't too far away, after all. And Winter 2009 was the time he fell in love. 

__________________________________

Someone needs to stop me from starting new fanfictions. 

And wrap Infinite into a package and send them to me. 

This chapter came too late. 

And bad news,

this story is not gonna end soon.

Why bad?

I told myself not to write a story with over 30 chapters especially with my chapter-length. But as you can see, the characters are proceeding quite slowly and I won't rush.

Which means you guys can choose to bare with my slow plot or leave (don't do this to me, please).

But I have the feeling that you don't want Hana's life to end. Haha.

Either way, thank you my lovely friends.