Reply Thirteen

We were sitting in class on a cold November day during break, as Howon, sitting across of me, doodled on the piece of paper I had took out. It was actually too cold to go outside and thus, we stayed in our classroom and tried to decreased our boredom level with doodling. As I finished on my side of the paper, I found him staring at my sketch before he started poking on it, triggering anger out of me. 

All of a sudden, I felt self-conscious. I imagined Woohyun meeting her and instantly falling in love with her. It was like a repetition of what happened with Hara. I couldn't actually be that lucky again. Who would know if that girl next to me wasn't interested in Woohyun as well? She was pretty and stunning. In my opinion, she had a more pretty face than Hara but Hara was skinnier. When Woohyun was attracted to Hara, he would feel attracted to this girl, too. I felt my existence in Woohyun's life decreasing. Even though I never really considered myself to be one of his close friends.


When she noticed I was looking at her, she smiled shortly. I couldn't help but smile back. It was impolite not to. But whenever it came to pretty girls, I didn't know how to deal with them. It was like they were superior and confidenter than me. And with my plain face, I couldn't even compete with her.


"Bae Suji, here is the list of the telephone numbers. Please copy them for me." One of the teachers explained as he gave her the piece of paper with a smile. When I looked up to meet eyes with him, I saw him smiling at me, too. His dark hair, charming smile and crescent-moon-like eyes. It was my favorite teacher. Even though he wasn't one in my current class anymore, I still prefered him over teachers who spat. He was always caring and funny. Because of him, I even liked maths until my current teacher took the lessons over.


"Hana, nice to meet you here. How is maths?" I chuckled lightly upon hearing his warm voice. He always talked about maths whenever he met students. He probably really liked his job. "You've grown up."


"Seon-saeng-nim, we've seen each other during Chuseok." I retorted back, laughing. I think, I was his favorite student, too. I didn't know why but he always iniated a conversation whenever class ended. He always started the small talks. For me, whenever someone started a conversation with me, he was interested with my life. And that young teacher in front of me always talked with me about his holidays like I actually cared. But I liked our relationship. It wasn't mutual or anything, we were just plain a student and a teacher who respected each other.


"Ah, true. Never knew you lived so close." He smiled, eyes turning into crescent moons. It was maybe a Korean thing. I mean the eyesmiles. Almost every Korean had one. Woohyun slightly had an eyesmile. Sunggyu with definite answer. Myungsoo even added dimples to his eyesmile. And my dear teacher had one, too. I always said he was the long lost twin brother of Eunji. Since their eyesmile were quite similiar. I even took a picture of them two smiling next to each other as an evidence.


"Seon-saeng-nim, don't you have class today?" I asked curiously as I narrowed my eyes at him. The black-haired girl was still standing some meters away from me as she listened to our conversation. Her name was Bae Suji, is what my teacher just called her. Even her name was beautiful. For some reasons, I felt a bit better that my teacher talked to me while leaving her behind. Since it showed me that looks aren't more important than personality. But to be honest, this thought was actually quite mean.


"I do. Just after this lesson, I need to teach class 3-6." He answered, glancing at his watch that was attached around his right wrist.


"3-6? You teach maths in 3-6?" I asked with much interest. It was Woohyun's class. I felt a bit envy errupting in my body. Because my teacher was able to teach in his class. I wanted him to pay attention to me, too. Imagine me teaching class 3-6 while I would get all the attention of the students. While I would get all the attention of Woohyun and he would ask me stupid questions. I always wanted to be in the same class with him. With my first love.


"Yep, I need to give them their student IDs back." I didn't bother to ask why he even collected them as I stared at the small basket filled with cards, he was squeezing between his rips and his arm.


"Seon-saeng-nim, do I need to copy this, too?" That girl approached us, asking as I used the chance to look through the basket. I wanted to find Woohyun's of course. I wanted to know how he looked like on this picture. And when my teacher looked to the girl and answered her question, I dug my hands into the basket and searched for his name.


"You are not allowed to do that." He told me while watching me search. But he didn't stop me as he continued his conversation with that Suji girl. When I found his name, I had to giggle. He didn't look perfect. Actually, he looked really tired as if he has just woken up to take this picture. And he had a bit bedhair. But he was the Woohyun I adored. He was still cute and I couldn't help but thank God - or in this case, my teacher - for providing me with this opportunity. I was so happy, my heart skipped a beat until my teacher interupted my dreamy thoughts. "Yah! Put it back. Woohyun will get angry with me when he finds out."


I couldn't help but continue laughing until the previous teacher I asked to find the papers for me, walked over and handed me the things my teacher needed. I thanked her before turning my attention back to the two of them. "Alright, I'll be going, seon-saeng-nim."


I bowed slightly at both of them, before I disappeared and jumped around on the hallway. I was happy and teachers who passed by me noticed that. I was able to see Woohyun's school ID. I only regretted not having taken photos as a reminder. I just relied on my memory for this nice image in my head as I went back to my classroom with the errands for my homeroom teacher.

My back faced Howon during class when he poked me, urging me to turn back. Since our homeroom teacher was by far one of the nicest next to my former maths teacher, I allowed myself to lean back and turn my face slightly to his direction behind me. When I proceeded in listening to his urgencies, his scent filled my nostrils. I couldn't point out what it was directly, perhaps a mix of mint from the gum he previously chewed before class started and something I didn't have the word for. It smelled like men. If you ever wondered what they smelt like, they smelt like Howon. It distracted me for awhile until he started whispering.


Now, I was sitting in my own room, a small desk - it was actually the coffee table from our living room - in front of me and it was the only thing seperating me from Busan guy. He had changed into casual clothes, consisting of a big sweater and loose pants. His eyes were fixed on the page of the book in front of him on the desk. I saw his eyelashes curling slightly upwards as he furrowed his eyebrows, contemplating how to solve the question.


We weren't alone to be honest. Eunji was here, too. Just, she wasn't in the same room. Some minutes ago, she told us she needed to go to the toilet. It has been almost 10 minutes which could only mean, she had her time of the month again. But she left me alone with him. I felt a bit strange. The whole situation was bizarre to me. Just like when Howon invited me during class to study for the upcoming exams. Just like when he told me to include Eunji and when we all ended up staying in my house. Wasn't it bizarre?


I mean, if they were just trying to get to know each other with me as their transmitter since it was awkward for them to be in the same room alone and they just wanted to date and use studying - something really important, actually - as an excuse, I would flip out. I would throw them out. Because it wasn't right to be using me. If they had a thing for each other, I wouldn't interfer. I wasn't interested in Howon, Eunji could have him. But then again, when did Eunji ever did that to me? She wouldn't betray me like that. And Howon, since when was he interested in girls? I quickly shrugged that thought away as I continued staring at him.


"Hey." I began, narrowing my eyes at him. Only when he hummed at me to continue my speech, I started speaking again. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

If it was me who received that question, I would seriously wonder why they even asked. Why all of a sudden someone asked me whether I had a boyfriend before or even currently. It would be bizarre to ask and to be honest, the first thing I would think would be, why the hell did they ask, are they in love with me? But since I was the one who asked, since I was the one who posed that question to Howon, I knew the reason behind my doing. Well, actually I didn't.. I couldn't point out why I asked. It just slipped off my mouth. Only when I heard myself saying it, did I actually realize what I did. All the thoughts from before, wouldn't Howon think the same?

"Girlfriend? Now?" He puckered his lips, furrowing his eyebrows as if he contemplated whether there was someone he dated. "Why do you even ask? That sounds suspicious."

I sighed, knowing already that my question was strange. It was bizarre. Why did I even ask? I was curious. I never asked him before and to be honest, posing a question about his uality would be too impolite, right? But then again, I didn't actually think he was homoual. He didn't give off that feeling. Maybe he was just too busy with dancing and school that he didn't have time for girls. "Just asking. It's not like I'm falling for you."

He relaxed a little, leaned a bit back and started answering my question. "No, I don't have one."

Honestly speaking, I couldn't even imagine him to be dating. Whether it might be Eunji or some other chick. I couldn't imagine him to be in a relationship with a girl, kissing her. It seriously disguted me. The thought only disgusted me. I didn't want to see my male best friend kissing and snuggling with another girl. Not because I had feelings for him but because it was disgusting and strange. This guy in front of me was someone who should stay single. For me, he was already married to dancing and music. He didn't need a girl.

Eunji came back into the room and took a seat next the coffee table in front of us. That was when my mother called from downstairs to run some errands. I couldn't believe she actually forced me to buy groceries for her when some friends were here. What kind of a mother did I have? But when I descended the stairs and asked her with a bored expression what I needed to buy for her, she explained me that we needed some snacks and small packs of milk for my friends. I just nodded at her, not being in the mood to be arguing about the reason why I was the one who had to go all the way out to buy things for my friends.

Upstairs again, I explained the situation as Howon proposed Eunji to tag along with me so I wouldn't have to go alone but I refused. My mother would kill me if she knew that I left Howon all alone in my room. She wasn't even angry when I told her he would come to our place for studying. How suspicious. Every normal mother wouldn't allow a guy to be in the same room as her daughter but when was she ever a normal mother to me? And dad, he didn't really care about Howon being in my room. For some reasons, I think, they actually really liked him. To his luck, my grandmother was visiting my aunt today until noon. I guess, by the time, we would be finished with studying.

I visited the small supermarket shop in our neighborhood of Hannam. I never really mentioned it before but Hannam was a really beautiful neighborhood. I was raised up here and even though it was a bit far away from the core of Seoul, I still enjoyed my stay here. Especially since my close friends lived near my place. Howon's house was some blocks away. Maybe ten minute by feet and Eunji only lived some houses away. I found out that Hara lived in Hannam-dong, too. But it was rather close to Howon than me. That reminded me, we invited Hara to study with us, too. It was a subtle way to ask Woohyun but it kind of failed. I had secrectly wished that Woohyun - and maybe his friend Sunggyu, too - would want to tag along. But Hara told me he had practice today so he couldn't. And why that hamster didn't want to come, well, because my father was hostile towards him. I felt bad but I couldn't do anything against it. I was still awkward with that guy.

We haven't had the chance to invite Myungsoo. To be honest, I haven't seen him for awhile. We haven't texted each other anymore after Chuseok. While my thought circled around that Handsome boy, I already arrived the small shop in Hannam-dong. When I entered, the old lady greeted me with her sweet smile since she already knew me all along. I have been visiting this shop even when I was a young girl. Back then, I have always bought sweets and a pack of milk with the money of my piggy bank. She would always tell me not to give her the money for the cheap sweets but I insisted. Well, I once didn't refuse but accepted it right away and when I got home, my mother yelled at me like I was her mother back when she was a teenager. Ever since then, I always refused to accept her kindness.

While I looked for some snacks that my friends would actually like, I almost bumped into the pretty girl from school. The one with the long black hair who talked to my former maths teacher. That Suji girl. She hasn't tied her hair into a low ponytail but instead let them fall perfectly over her shoulders. Since I was so close to her, I could even smell her scent. It was something juicy. It was really distracting since she smelled so nice that I almost forgot what I wanted to buy. This girl really had an effect on me. Or maybe she had that same effect on everyone.

I quickly scooted away, not wanting her to think I was some kind of stalker or creeper. But her scent was still hanging around the air as my thoughts swifted away to Woohyun again. What would he think if I smelled like that? Would he appreciate it? Would he like it? I realized I didn't know anything about him at all. We occasionally talked but he was still so far away from me. I still couldn't reach him. I was still far behind while he ran before me, his back facing my direction. I just wanted to reach him someday. Get closer to him. Just little by little.

"What prevented you from arriving earlier?"

I scoffed at his question as I supported my weight with my hands pressed on my thighs. I gasped for fresh air only to shiver because of the cold weather. Why was the winter in Seoul so cold? I really hated the feeling of being thirsty in the middle of winter. My throat actually hurt like hell whenever I tried to breathe. And the sport jacket didn't protect me from the cold wind at all. "Shut up."

He chuckled at me before handing me the bottle of water he just drank from. I was reminded of the scene with Woohyun on the basketball field near Myeongdong when he offered me his drink I didn't actually drink since I was too embarrassed to do so. Because I was afraid my heart would burst out of my chest when thinking of sharing an indirect kiss with him. Afterwards, I kind of regretted. It was my only chance to have an indirect kiss with him and I failed to use it.

"Not everyone is as good at sports as you." I retorted back as I drank from his bottle of water. The cold liquid streamed down my throat as I hastily gulped it down until no drops were left. Howon stared at me with narrowed eyes, blinking constantly until I finished his drink.

"Well, you're welcome." He remarked sarcastically when I threw him the bottle back. With my eyes I searched for Woohyun since they had PE as well at the same time. I couldn't believe our teacher told us to run around the school yard in this cold weather but when I met eyes with my first love and he smiled back, I couldn't help but thank my PE teacher. Of course until he noticed Howon joining my lazing - even though he just waited for me so I wouldn't be left alone - and started yelling at us.

"Move your , Samara." The reason he named me after the little girl from The Ring was because I once was lazing on the ground with my hair pushed over my face and he actually scolded me for that. Now, it was his nickname for me. I was called after that creepy girl from The Ring. "And Howon, don't help that hopeless girl."

Sorry that I wasn't as good at sports as people wanted me to be. I wasn't bad but I wasn't good as well. I was just happy that Howon helped me during these hardships even though I gulped down his bottle of water without considering his feelings. And Eunji managed to be dismissed from that hell of PE, since she had her period. It was an excuse, male teachers couldn't go against. It was the secret weapon of womanhood. 

I looked to Howon who smiled back at me, assuring me that it was okay when the teacher scolded him, too. Even though he was competitive and he always wanted to be the best of all, he still stayed with me. That was what I called a best friend. And when we started jogging again, he even nudged me to show me that he spotted Woohyun. I looked to the direction Busan guy was eyeing, as I noticed my first love teasing his best friend. Maybe I was just like Sunggyu, a lazy . But what distracted me the most was his beautiful smile and laugh. He poked his friend's ribs the whole time and looked like he was having fun. Even though I wouldn't say I liked that hamster but I still felt thankful towards him for being friends with Woohyun. For allowing me to see their friendly interaction. With a big smile on my face, I watched him running in front of me. It was just like my comparison with a marathon. He would run in front of me while I was behind him. The light around him would sparkle and he would laugh at his friend Sunggyu like he did right now. I would watch him while Howon plus Eunji and maybe Hara stayed next to me, encouraging me. Myungsoo with his friends would stay a bit further away but still close enough to watch me running for Woohyun. But this wasn't the full picture. There was still people left who would finish this picture of the marathon of love. One of them already entered my life.

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