Reply Twenty-One

I had always cried because of Woohyun. He was someone who was able to hurt me without him even realizing it. Wasn't that pathetic? In my opinion, it was. I had shed so many tears for him but all I did was to have fallen in love with. Was it wrong? I never knew the answer. It was an answer that was hidden in the unknown. I would never find out.

But what I found out was I had cried for the first time because of Howon. I hadn't cried when he had told me about his father hitting him. I had been on the brink of crying but tears had never escaped my eyes. That one time when we still had been strangers and when he just hadn't stopped sticking his nose into my affairs, I had cried because of another reason. It hadn't been  because of his words that I had started crying. I had cried because he was reminding me of the difficulties of loving Woohyun. In the end, I had never cried because of Busan guy. This was my very first time.

Busan guy. I couldn't remember when I had started calling him that way. I think, it had even began before we had become friends. I hadn't been close to him back then so I had always refered to him as Busan guy since his accent had already given away the place he was raised in. Actually, he had once told me that he came from Changwon which wasn't directly in Busan. Nevertheless, I continued calling him that way because for me, he was Busan guy. Because this nickname meant a lot to me. Just like I used to call Eunji Satoori girl when we were still kids and when I had found her accent really funny. Busan guy was a name that bonded us. If he hadn't been Busan guy to me, I wouldn't have become that close to him. 

Hoya. It was a name I had given him from the very start. Well, maybe not before Busan guy but I had given him that nickname before we had been close. I was annoying him by repeating his name continously while he had walked me home. I always  wondered why he still had talked to me after that incident. I had looked like a monster with those full lips because of my peanut allergy. And still, he continued to start a conversation. Maybe we just clicked from the very beginning. Maybe because he was already my soulmate. This thought made me realize how stupid I actually was. If he really was my soulmate, then I just chased him away.

At weekend, I tried my best to forget the fight I had with Howon. First of all, I was a bit disappointed and maybe angry that he hadn't tried to make up with me. I was upset that he hadn't called nor texted me. But then, I slapped myself for being so self-centered. It was me who destroyed the friendship, after all. I should have been the one to apologize first. But something was keeping me from doing it. I couldn't point out what it was.

I spent my Saturday at Lotte Mart with no vital sign of Sunggyu. Maybe he was sick and had his day off. Usually, we would always see each other at Saturdays which wasn't that bad at all. I somehow managed to live with the fact that we couldn't be friends and that we would stay awkward forever. That was why it was sad that he hadn't appaered. Because with no Sunggyu to think about - meaning thinking about all the awkwardness - I had more time to think about Howon. How disappointed he might be because of me. How angry he still might be at me for pushing him away. I was scared to face him. 

On Monday, I walked to school alone. I hadn't had the energy to find Eunji to walk with me. A part of me had refused to do that because it would only support the fact that I was selfish. The fact that I crawled back to Eunji when Howon wasn't available. I couldn't do that to her. She was still my best friend. No matter what happened or didn't happen between us. She was still my best friend. I still loved her more than I would love any other friend. I would still cry when she felt sad. Only one thing had changed this school year. Howon had joined Eunji as my best friend.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't even want them to date anymore. It would be strange and weird. My two best friends suddenly annoucing their relationship just sounded stupid to me. To me, Howon was Howon and Eunji was Eunji. There wasn't something like HoJi or EunWon. It just sounded ridiculous to me. I laughed at my own thoughts when I realized I was alone, thinking to myself about impossible outcomes. I was walking to school alone. My life had indeed changed this last year of school.

Once I entered the school building, I noticed Myungsoo standing next to Suji at the lockers. I wanted to greet them but then, I refused to do that.. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. On top of that, I felt bad for pretending to have fallen asleep in front of Myungsoo. It was so selfish of me. People always listened to my problems but I never cared to listen to others. It was just my mouth telling lies of wanting to help Howon regarding his problems. Because if I really had wanted it, I would have done it. I was a hypocrite. Busan guy was right.

I mentally slapped myself for mentioning his name. I almost forgot that I had a fight with him until my brain threw his name into my mind. There was one time when he and I would bet in front of the lockers. He would always say that the next person that entered the school building was a girl. I would always say the opposite. We bet on our lunch. Because ever since Howon had stopped participating in the underground dance battles, he had more time to make his own lunch box and my mother hadn't had to make an extra potion anymore. Actually, this thought was a bit sad. Because Busan guy and I used to share my lunch box. He always depended on me but now, he didn't need me for food anymore.

I stood in front of my classroom, inhaling and exhaling. I didn't know how to face him. I had never apologized, he hadn't either. We were still fighting but that wasn't something I wanted. I could have changed it but I was scared he would reject me. He was right after all. I was just so scared of everything. While back then, I had someone to lean on that was him, now I was alone. If I turned around, there wasn't a Busan guy to smile at me and to tell me that it was going to be alright. Because I messed up. I knew I messed up but I hadn't done anything to fix it.

My classroom looked the same as before. After summer, on the very first day of my second semester, the seats had been placed exactly like they were now. The shelf at the very back was still filled with unread books, provided by my homeroom teacher. I doubted any of the students wanted to touch them since it was covered with dust over the summer holidays. It seemed like no one cared to clean up. Even the red drawing on the desk I had been sitting at before summer was still there. But now, that seat was occupied by a classmate.

Entering the classroom and scanning the surrounding almost made me forget to walk to my seat. But when my eyes searched for  my place, the sight in front of me tore me down. My heart clenched, my eyes became moist all of sudden and my throat felt so dry. He wasn't sitting behind me. He wasn't sitting at his usual seat right behind me. He had changed seats with someone from the front. I tried my best to avoid his eyes even though I was sure, he didn't even look my way. I wanted to run to the toilet to cry but our homeroom teacher already entered the scene. Even he was surprised that Howon sat in the front. Our teacher knew us as the troublemakers during class. He would always throw glares at us whenever we talked in his lessons. He even wanted to rearrange the seat plan because of us but in the end, he didn't. After class, he told me the reason for his decision. He said: "I don't want to destroy such a beautiful friendship."

Upon remembering the words, I burried my face into my crossed arms that I had put on the desk. Sorry, teacher. It was me who destroyed the beautiful friendship.

I managed to survive school even though I was surrounded by loneliness. Howon had hung out with the male classmates during breaks, while he had spent his lunch time with Woohyun, Sunggyu and Hara. When I had seen the scene in front of me, I had wanted to run away. And that was what I did. I couldn't meet eyes with Hara because I knew she would ask me to join. I couldn't join. Not when Woohyun and Howon were there. Because I was hurt by both of them.

In the end, I had decided to visit my aunt at the hospital. She told me about that assistant who was soon to become a doctor. She beamed brightly while telling me about his handsome face and the stories he told her. I listened to her the whole time, occasionally nodding to show her that I paid attention. He was apparently better looking than Myungsoo. First, it was weird for my aunt, who was older than him by a lot of years, to call Myung handsome even though I knew he was and that not only young adults felt this way. Second, my aunt even said that she would have dated him if he had been older. That was when I told her to change the topic. It seriously gave me the creeps.

"Tell me something interesting then."

I averted my eyes away from the television screen to pay attention to my aunt. "Define interesting."

"You never told me who you think is attractive. Or who that Howon guy is." she answered, turning the television off because nothing interesting was currently airing. Monday Television was always filled with strange commercials and animal documentaries. At least that was what I had found out about hospitals. They apparently had different channels and Monday was already occupied by boring programs. I cringed a little upon remembering the name my aunt had mentioned. I thought I would find peace here at the hospital but I was wrong. Busan guy followed me everywhere. When she noticed I wasn't replying, she explained herself. "Your mom told me about him yesterday. That he was such a nice guy."

My mom was a lot like me. She found Johnny Depp more handsome than Orlando Bloom. She liked DBSK and their music. She was attached to Myungsoo and I once had been as well. And she liked Howon. She knew who was genuine and honest and who wasn't. My mom had once even entered my room during the winter holidays to tell me that she was glad I had found a friend like Howon. She had told me that she had seen it in his eyes that he would protect me and I had to protect him, too. Maybe it was in the bloodline of the Son's that we liked Busan guy. Or maybe he casted some magic on us that allowed him to gain plus points. Maybe he was just a nice guy, after all.

"Now, tell me. Do you think Myungsoo is handsome as well?" my aunt suddenly interjected. I was surprised and impressed of her abilty to change the subject that quickly. Then, I thought maybe she knew that I hadn't felt comfortable upon talking about Howon so she had quickly directed our conversation to Myungsoo. 

"He is." I admitted, a blush creeping on my cheeks. I had always said he was handsome in my mind. I had always thought about it but it was still different to say it out loud. Myungsoo was, of course, handsome. He had a really sharp nose and a high nose bridge. His eyes were really beautiful and when he gazed at you, you would feel your own heartbeat increase its pace. His lips were perfectly shaped and he had that habbit of them. Sometimes, I wished I could go back to that autumn day to touch his hair. They were so soft.

"You can date him. He is single." Now, I knew why I was so bold. I was just like my aunt. Even though we had argued and fought, in the end we had influenced each other. I had taken over her traits and she had taken over some of mine. That was the proof that hating someone was equal to being deeply affected by them. Hate wasn't that far from love, after all.

"No. He already has a girl in his heart." I didn't know why it sounded like I was talking about Woohyun instead. Like I was refering to that Hyuna girl even though I had Suji in mind. 

"That black-haired girl from here?" My aunt pointed her index finger down. "I doubt he likes her. I think, they are just friends."

"No, they seem pretty clos-"

"Let's ask Myungsoo, then." she interrupted me. 

"No. Just leave him alone." I retorted back, shaking my head disapprovingly at my aunt.

Silence surrounded us soon when my aunt proceeded in eating her food. Instead of eating what the hospital provided for her, she  had insisted in eating my grandma's cooked food. I wondered how my grandparents must have felt upon hearing their daughter had a tumor in her kidney. We had never told them about the fact that she had been once falsely diagnosed with leukemia. We couldn't handle the heartattack they would have gotten. And when I thought of my grandma's opinion of my aunt's state, I wondered about Howon. Ever since we fought, I couldn't help but be reminded of him in every aspect of my life. He became an important part and the funny thing was, I had only noticed when he was gone. Be it at school when I needed a shoulder to lean on because I tripped over a trash can or at home when I needed to let out my frustration. He was always there. But I destroyed everything. I was such a bipolar person. No wonder Howon criticized me. It was a surprise he still had talked to me before after all my tantrums because of Woohyun.

My parents and I were having dinner when my father suddenly asked me what I wanted to do in the future. I had already told them back in Autumn that I wanted to start a fall semester instead of attending university in Spring. I had told them that I wanted to take part-time jobs first before continuing my studies. Some students like Hara were already accepted for the spring semester because she had sent out her application in November. So once she graduated, she would start studying in a university. But Hara was a girl who knew what she wanted right from the beginning. I was different.

"What will you study?" he asked while drinking some water.

I hated the fact that my father asked me what I would study but he never cared to question what I really wanted to do. I had already disappointed them slightly with my CSAT scores which was why I couldn't apply for Seoul National University. My parents weren't strict and they hadn't yelled at me for not answering their expectations. But I was still suffocated by decisions regarding my future. And then there were still problems I had on my own as an 17-year-old teen.

"I don't know." I mumbled under my breath, not looking up at him.

"You are graduating soon, Hana. You need to know what to do for a living in your future."

I nodded at him, still not locking eyes with him. He wanted the best for me. I knew he just wanted me to succeed in life so I wouldn't have to worry about money in the future. They always tried their best for me. And I realized I never thanked them for that. Just like Howon, they were always there for me. In my childhood, they had encouraged me to learn the bike. When I had turned 13, my mom had brought me to the hair salon, allowing me to decide my hairstyle on my own. Whatever I had done in the past, they still loved me. Even though I had once said I hated my dad, he had never shown any sign of hate towards me. He was disappointed and hurt but he wasn't mad at me. Life was so short. I did so many mistakes and I never cared to fix them. And I was surrounded by the knowledge of my mistakes and yet, I never changed them.

At that night, I cried silently to myself. My whole life replayed itself before my closed eyes. My mom's warm embrace when I  had scratched open my knee. My father's loving lips on my forehead when I had learned how to multiply. Eunji with her eyesmile and her witty remarks. Woohyun's drenched hair at the playground. That loud thud when Howon had appeared through the windows of the assembly hall. Myungsoo's confused expression when we had almost driven him over. Sunggyu's smile that had told me it was okay not to like him. And my aunt's tears when we had buried the hatchet.

It was finally graduation day. Every student was looking forward to this day ever since they had entered high school. After all the hardwork, after all the funny times with their friends, after all the tears they had shed, it was the end. Every student was glad to know that they had finally done it. Everyone of them wanted to start a new life. Everyone were still scared. Everyone felt a bit sad that they couldn't come to school to meet their friends anymore. After high school, you never knew how long you would keep in touch with your friends. After school, promises could be broken and forgotten. 

We gathered in our gym, the floor covered with tarp. The third-year students were sitting in the middle of the hall while the juniors were seated in the bleachers, forced to attend this graduation. I was sitting next to Eunji in the 3rd row, occasionally glancing to Howon whose seat was placed to the right with the other guys. But I tried my best to focus on the principal's speech. He was talking about the efforts we had made these past 3 years. He mentioned our hardwork, our passion towards studying and our ability to make teachers' lives more diffcult, earning a few snickers from the audience.

I fumbled with the flowers beneath my seat, thinking about the detour my parents had taken just to buy me the most beautiful ones. They were proud of me, no doubt. I finally graduated, I was maturing. I laughed inwardly, remembering my face this morning. My eyes were red and swollen. They had looked like I had actually scratched them on purpose. My cheeks were stained with dry tears. I had literally laughed for ten seconds before I had put on some make-up to cover up the redness of my eyes. I thought I felt someone staring at me and when I looked to the direction from where it might have come from, I noticed Busan guy directing his attention on the principal.

"Eunji," I called her out, before taking a deep breath, "I have to tell you something."

She peeled her eyes off the principal to turn her attention to me. Curiosity was written across her face when she looked into my eyes. But this emotion was quickly replaced by worry when she noticed my eyes getting moist. "What's wrong, Hana?"

I shook my head, glancing shortly at the flowers again before answering her. "I never told you. And I don't even know why I never did. That was probably one of my biggest regrets."

There was this big lump in my throat that I just couldn't swallow down. It was like that big strand of hair that would fall to your face and that wouldn't look good on you no matter what you did. This lump in my throat was the reason for my regrets. But I decided to do my best from now on. After graduation, it would be too late to make everything alright. I didn't have to swallow all of it. No one demanded that from me. I could just gulp down pieces of it. My friends would understand. They weren't called my friends for nothing. .

"I was in love with Woohyun for 3 years." I spoke out, not wanting to look into her eyes. I was scared of her reaction but despite my fear, I wasn't done with my confessions yet. "Remember when I was hit with the ball? That was Woohyun. I was too shocked to say something back to him. I was too shocked, having realized that I had fallen in love with him at that very moment. And I was scared to tell you."

"Hana..."

"Wait, I'm not done yet." I interrupted her, biting my bottom lip to prevent myself from crying. It was a miracle that the other students around us didn't notice us talking. "I kept that secret from you for 3 years but this wasn't even the worst fact. I... I even told Howon and Hara about me having a crush on Woohyun but I never cared to tell you. I'm so sorry, Eunji. I'm really sorry."

There was still so much to say. I wanted to tell her everything. My fears, my regrets and my pain. I wanted to change our distanced friendship. This was the day for me to prevent us from drifting apart even further. "And I'm sorry for letting our friendship fade away like that. I'm sorry for becoming closer with Howon even though you literally reserved him on the very first day."

I remembered the first day of our second semester when Busan guy had introduced himself as the new transfer student. Eunji next to me had developed interest towards him as she  had told me that he was hers. I knew it was a joke and yet, I couldn't help but feel like I had snatched Howon away from her. Maybe I was overthinking things, but it seemed like I had betrayed her. I took another deep breath, before continuing. "I was a bad friend and I regret not having done anything for you. I regret not having stayed with you. I don't regret being close with Howon, though. Even thought I am really sorry for letting us drift apart, I still cannot say that I regret having met him. You both are important to me."

A tear escaped my eyes as it fell down my cheeks. It was my first time spilling the truth to Eunji. It was relieving, I felt glad. I finally managed to make things work. Whether I would stay friends with Eunji, that was up to her. I was just glad that I could say to myself, I tried my best. With a lighter heart, I looked to Eunji. She wasn't saying anything when she suddenly bursted out in tears. I felt so regretful upon seeing her like that. It was my fault for her to be crying like that and she was a girl who never cried.

"You finally told me." said Eunji in between her sobs. "I was waiting the whole time."

Now everything made sense to me. Why Eunji had never asked me about Woohyun, but about Myungsoo or Howon. Why she had never talked about my first love, even though it had been so obvious. She knew it all along. But why was I surprised? Of course, she knew. She wasn't stupid. She was just waiting for me to tell her myself. She just wanted me to entrust her my problems and fears. It was everything she wanted, everything she demanded from me as a friend. I just had to trust her with my pain. She wanted me to share them. She didn't want me to suffer alone. And now Howon's words repeated themselves in my head. "I don't understand why you won't even tell your best friend about your problem. Why you think that you alone can fight it. That you are strong enough." Just like he had said back then, I just had to trust my friends more. It wasn't like I would bother them. It didn't even matter whether they could help me or not. It was enough that they lended their ears to listen to me. Just this little was enough. And Eunji, she was ready to do this little for me.

It hurt me. I was torn apart when she had told me she was waiting all along. She had trusted me enough to know that I would tell her someday, but I had never cared to make the efforts. She was my best friend, for God's sake. She understood me better than my parents did. But instead of telling her, instead of involving her, I kept everything to myself. I cried like a little kid who just lost their mother in the supermarket. Seeing her cry and trying her best to wipe away her tears, I had to took her into my arms. She was a human being with feelings, too. She had problems and fears, too. I never cared to listen to hers, while she waited for me to tell her mine. I thanked God for giving me such a good and patient friend. Even though we knew each other for years, we still stayed together. Yes, we drifted apart for a while. But in the end, we ended up together at the same place. It was true, after all. Friendship was the best gift you could ever receive. Eunji was one of the best thing that had happened to me.

The principal soon finished his speech and we received our diplomas one by one. I even saw a glimpse of Woohyun who smiled brightly upon finally graduating. Even though I had already given up, he was still handsome to me. There was still this fluttering feeling when I saw him. Eunji next to me smiled at me, assuring me that it was alright. She knew about me giving up on him and yet, she never laughed at me for giving up after 3 years. She understood that it was impossible for me to continue liking him when he already started dating someone else. She said one had to know when to give up. But she also told me that it was pathetic to only give up after seeing him with another girl. And she added that it was even funnier that I hadn't confessed to him. To sum up, she was of Howon's opinion.

We exited the gym to be greeted by our parents. Eunji's and mine came together while holding cameras in their hands. Other students were gathering in front of the gym to take photos with their family. It was a heart-warming view. They were happy to have finally graduated. Some even took the eggs and flour out because they were finally done with those uniforms. They were looking forward to throw them at each other, displaying their freedom after graduation. And then, I remembered Busan guy. Were his parents here to welcome him? Was he alone? Was there someone to share his happiness of graduating? Maybe he had no one else. Maybe no one gratulated him. That thought was so sad that I had to excuse myself from my parents and Eunji.

I ran like a mad woman, trying to find him. He couldn't have gone home like that. I had to find him and apologize. I had to change this outcome. Maybe he was alone, but I wanted to show him that I was there. That he wasn't alone at all. That he still had me whatever might happen. He was there for me and I wanted to do the same. He once thanked me for being his friend. It was my time to show him how grateful I was to have him as a friend. This morning before I went to school, I had imagined my own future in ten years. I was able to see my parent smiling at me, being proud of my profession. I saw my aunt being fully healthy with another man by her side. Now, I was able to see Eunji calling me in the middle of the night because of trivial matters. And I wished to see Howon in my future. I realized how badly I wanted him to attend my wedding. How badly I wanted him to see my kids grow up. I wanted him to stand next to me when my parents would die one day. I wanted his arms to protect me from any harm. Maybe it wasn't love that I felt towards him. Because I couldn't feel the same towards Howon like I felt towards Woohyun. But I still wanted to grow up with him. A year was short but we still managed to become so close.

I saw him standing in front of a girl under an old tree. This part of the school yard was hardly occupied since no one really found out about this nice place. Flowers were the most beautiful here. Snow would fall gracefully on those benches. It was the place where Howon and I used to share my lunch box. It was the most beautiful place of this school. He was wearing his uniform just like any other male student, while holding his diploma in one hand and with the other the flowers. He was staring down onto the girl, holding a piece of paper in his hand. The girl seemed to be younger than us. She was probably a junior like that Femme boy. Her hands were slightly shaking and she seemed to be stuttering.

When she left, I approached him. At first, I thought of scaring him just like old times. But then again, we were still fighting so it would be kind of strange to act like nothing happened. I intentionally dragged my feet to make noises with the ground so that he would notice me. After breathing in air, I stood next to him, peeking over his shoulders. "Was that a love confession?"

He stared at me for literally five seconds without uttering a word. I couldn't even read his expression. He neither seemed angry nor sad. He was looking at me indifferently. Like he didn't care. Or maybe he was just good at hiding his emotions. But then, he suddenly brought his hand near my face and with his index finger and his thumb, he caught a small tear from my eyelashes. I didn't know why it was even there. I wasn't crying nor on the brink of doing it.

"I'm glad I wasn't sitting next to you." he suddenly said. I blinked a few times, not really getting what he meant, when he proceeded in talking. "You and Eunji cried like babys. Everyone stared at you two."

Then, I finally understood his sentence as I laughed slightly at remembrance. "Well, that was... I'm glad I told her everything. About Woohyun, you know."

He nodded, staring ahead. "That's good."

I moved my head to his rhythm. For a moment, we stayed in silence while watching the wind blowing the trees. For this moment, I thought it was peaceful. I thought I could live with those silent moments forever. But then I was reminded of our fight. Of the fight that I started. Of the fight that I regretted.

"I'm sorry, Howon. I messed up." The last sentence came out as a whisper as I was waiting for his reaction. It was just like when I had apoligized to Eunji during the graduation ceremony. I was scared of his response. But in fact, I didn't have to.

"I'm sorry, too." He began, still not looking into my eyes. "I wanted to apologize first before that girl appeared and confessed out of nowhere."

We both chuckled for a moment, feeling a tinge of melancholy engulfing us. "I don't regret what I had said, though. I'm just sorry for not being softer on you. For not supporting you.

"When I went back home that day, I wondered whether I just destroyed the best friendship I had. I wondered whether I just made the biggest mistake or not. My heart was telling me how stupid I was. I felt so regretful.

"But later on, I realized I could always change the outcome if I wanted. What happened, happened. I couldn't change what you would think of me but I could always change my attitude towards it. I could still apologize and hope for you to continue willing to be my friend. I could try my best in making things alright, but if you didn't want to stay my friend anymore, then it would be okay. We might not have been meant for each other. And this thought was kinda scary to me." I saw how his eyes glistened under the sunlight. It wasn't just me who regretted. Even though Howon did nothing wrong in my opinion, he still apologized to me. It was always him who gave in to me. 

"Hey," I called out, grabbing his arm lightly, "don't apologize when it' not your fault. I should say sorry because I was the one who messed up. I was the one who pushed you away."

"Let's just forget this stupid fight." he said, finally looking into my eyes. "Let's stay friends until we get sick of each other."

The thing was, we never got sick of each other.

We both sat on the big steps of our school yard where I had witnessed Busan guy and Woohyun becoming friends. They were playing the basketball back then where Woohyun was still infatuated by Hara. I had to giggle when I remembered him crashing into the pole because he had stared at her for such a long time. I had already texted my parents and Eunji that I wanted to stay with a friend. My parents knew right away that I had meant Howon for some reasons and I had made sure that Eunji was okay with that. She had told me that she didn't even have mutual feelings towards Busan guy and that I really shouldn't worry. She had also said she had to get used to me having two best friends.

"Will you miss school?" he suddenly asked. It was a pity that his parents hadn't come to gratulate him for his graduation. This just showed me that I had made the right decision to look for him earlier this day.

"I will miss the days here. With you, Eunji, our caring homeroom teacher, my former maths teacher... even that spitting-saliva-on-students-is-fun teacher." I made a short pause where we both chuckled at my comment. "I will miss Woohyun, of course. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't.

"I will miss Myungsoo but I think I will still see him in the future. I will miss Hara because she was always there for me. I have a feeling we won't be able to keep in touch. But it's not either one's fault. I will miss this place where I learned to grow up. This place holds the memories of our younger days."

"We are still young..." Howon mumbled.

"The traces we left here, they show us we were here. We played here, we loved here. We grew up and matured. This was the place we left for growing up. I will always remember those days. No matter how much I hated this school and the teachers, or the homework and the exams... I will still miss this place because we found each other here. With friends... school doesn't seem too boring." I thought of all the things that happened here. The autumn festival, the talent show and his sweet voice at the dumpsters. The cool and short entertainment during lunch break because of Howon's dance skills and the tears that fell. 

"Sounds like the end."

I thought about his sentence for a moment, before a smile grazed my lips. My eyes followed a lonely leaf, being swept by the blowing wind. I felt Howon's stare on me, his button-like orbs filled with curiosity. It was one of those moments where everything just seemed to be in place. Where that ugly strand of hair would look good on you. Where you felt so good that you would even donate blood even though you were afraid of needles. It was the beginning of a start. I turned to Howon, smiling genuinely and answering his statement.  "It's never the end. As long as I live, there won't be an end to this story. There will always be another chapter."

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