Chapter 46

Hanging by a Thread

Seunghyun climbs the window ledge to the edge of the balcony that faces the garden. It was a warm day, a perfect day to take a stroll and entertain children and pregnant women under the canopy as they sip freshly made juice. If only a certain pregnant woman had not decided to lock herself in and barricade the door to prevent anyone from getting in. Sandara had turned her phone off and had refused to speak to anyone which brought him to hang himself precariously by the ledge of the window.

“Sandara.” He called immediately the second he hit the floor. “Open the door please.” The glass door was locked and the curtains drawn.  “You need to take your meds Tokki.  I need you to please”

Silence.

“Locking your door will never stop me, you know.” He pulled a metal pin and started picking the lock.  5, 4, 3, 2, click Seunghyun turned the key and slid the glass to the right.

“Go away.” Were the first words he heard when he peeled the curtain away. The room was in absolute disarray, it was jarring in daylight. The pillows were piled at the center of the bed with the cover protecting it from toppling over and an open luggage in the corner.

“Tokki.” He went straight for the door and pulled the chair jammed against the door at an angle. “You know I don’t like coming in like an intruder.”

“Go away.” The voice came further inside the room definitely not under the pyramid of pillows but a little off to the left. He moved forward and moved further back. There on the floor was a very pregnant, very unkempt Sandara.

“Leave me alone. Tell everyone to leave me alone please. I am tired. Aren’t you tired Seunghyun?” She sounded hollow.

“This is not the sight I expect to see after a long day at work honey.” Seunghyun sat on his heels and stared at her. Sandara was pale. Her lips blue, her back on the wall with a terry coat over her stomach her breathing slow.

“You don’t go to work.” Her voice is hoarse.

“I do.” He paused. “I drive for a living, I own half of a restaurant and I work for my dad.” He leaned forward to touch her ankle.  “When was the last time you took your meds? Those prescriptions were given for a reason.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She sounded resigned.

“Of course it does. I can’t afford you jumping off windows. When did you stop?” he pressed. Silence.

“Last week, when I started having stomach cramps.” Sandara grabbed the edge of the robe.

“Ok now up. You need a shower, some food then we see Minzy so you can take your meds. It’s almost 11 am.  Nobody has seen you since yesterday morning.” He offered a hand.

“Have you seen the boy?”

“He is outside waiting with a basket of flowers.  Angela drags him around by the hand, he is a little timid.”

“His name is Gi Ryu.” Seunghyun saw a tear drop.

“Like Jiyong. ” Seunghyun stared at her in alarm.

“Yes, he was named after him. You should have seen Jiyong, he had tears in his eyes, and he was positively elated. He was very proud of it.” Sandara closed her eyes. “Then the boy called me Mama.” She stopped speaking.  She felt the bile rose and her legs go limp.  The cramps on her stomach had long numbed her back. “I am not his mother.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day before

Sandara though remained rooted from where the boy had lunged at her. “Mama” he called her before anyone can speak. Mama, why would the child call her Mama? She pulled the boy from her and found tear streak cheeks and puffy eyes. Eyes she knew so very well.

“Hi, my name is Sandara. What is yours?” she smiled at the boy.

“Ryu, my name is Gi Ryu. I am 6.” He raised both hands to show her how old he is.

Sandara wiped his cheeks and stopped. “Ryu like the dragon?”

“Yes!” the child is obviously proud of his name. A name his birth mother must have given him.

  “Are you hungry little dragon? “ She brushed the hair that hung just above his eyes.

“Not really.  Uncle Ri bought me a sandwich and some milkshake.” He turned towards Seungri as if waiting for some encouragement.  Ri gave him a nod.

The boy beamed. “Mama.” Finally he found his mother.

 How do you break a child’s heart when he just handed it to you with both hands?

How?

Sandara felt the child’s arm circled around her, as far as his small arms can reach.  He was trembling. She felt the enormity of his longing and trust. The child is afraid she knew.  She is afraid too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where is Jiyong?”

She shrugged. “Probably with Kiko.” He saw her open to breathe as if the air was being cut from her.  She pulled on her lips to stop the sobs from coming. She is too broken.

 “Jiyong was upset when he saw Kiko with bruises. Bommie lugged her around while in cast. I heard them arguing.  I tried to stop them but it got ugly. He was blaming me for encouraging all these violence against his best friend. His best friend” she snorts. 

“Did you?”

“Did I? I thought I had secrets but I’ve got nothing on her.  If not for Bommie, I would not have known.” She shuddered. “I only really wanted to know why.  How can she do that to us…to her own daughter?”

“And?”

“ And now we have Ryu, the eldest of the brood. He is too small for his age. Kiko had left him at an orphanage in Suwon. ” She looked up at Seunghyun with empty eyes.

“How can I care for her children when I can’t even keep mine?” her sobs rocked her body and her hands holding her stomach. Only then did Seunghyun notice her hands.  They were stained… with blood.

“Sandara what happened?”

“I don’t think I can keep them anymore.” He pulled the terry coat and found blood on the floor.

“Sandara!”

~~~~~~~

Flashback

Sandara took the boy by the hand and moved their way through the halls.  She is famished and wants a big breakfast in the privacy of the small kitchen. They were giggling as they tiptoe at the alcove that connects the main dining hall to the pool. They stopped abruptly. People were shouting.  Jiyong was shouting.

“You do not have to hurt her…” she heard. She saw Minzy at the back. She called to her and passed her the boy amidst her protest.

“I’ll be right back, ok?” She told the boy and pressed Minzy’s arm in gratitude. The fight was already escalating by the time she reached Bommie’s side.  Jiyong was all red in the face and just about ready to strike.

“Hey!” She cried out. “Hey!” In her haste she grabbed a disposable cup and flung it towards the middle.  Seungri was quick to pull Bom. “Stop it now. What were you thinking? She…“ She never got the chance to finish it when she stood almost in front of Jiyong and her eyes landing at the woman behind him. “Were you going to hit Bommie because of her? Get her out. Get out! Now!” She was staring wide eyed at the model, the mother of all his children, and the star of her nightmares.

“Enough!”Jiyong blocked her with his forearm and shoved. “What is wrong with you?” Sandara stumbled and dropped on her knee one hand on her stomach and the other on the floor. Seungri was also on the floor his hands on her stomach. Bom helped her to sit.

Sandara looked at the livid eyes of the man he married. “You just won’t stop would you? You just have to go berserk each time and bring everyone right along with you. Why don’t you go back to your room and pretend she isn’t here.”

“This is my house.” Sandara said without emotion both hands restraining Seungri. “She isn’t welcome here.”

“No. This is my father’s house. Mine. She is my guest and will be treated as such. “

“Guest and yet you were quick to hit on Bom.”

“Bom?! Look what she did to Kiko?!” he screamed.  “Look what you did to her!”

“Look at what she did to your children!” Bom screamed back. “Look at what you did to your wife.”

It was a blur to her from that point on. All she remembers was the pain.

~~~~~

Sandara!!!

A/N: I am back!  I want to thank everyone for the comments on the previous chapter :) It helped jumpstart something in my head.  Thank you again for reading and subscribing. Please do feel free to leave your thoughts below. :) Again, I hope I made sense.  I am very much aware my writing may not be for everyone but thank you for giving up your time to read it.   Lots of love everyone.

P.S.

If you were Jiyong, Dara and Seunghyun what would you do? :)