Chapter 27:

I’m having a little battle inside my head whether I should do it or not. It’s like I’m stuck in an unfamiliar place and there are two roads in front of me, giving me only two options. To go right or to go left.

To go to the right where nothing is left, or to go to the left where nothing is right.

I was pulled out from my reverie when Donghae kissed me again. It was only a short one and a lot more softer and gentler.

“It’s okay. If you don’t want to do it, don’t.” He whispered, and crawled out of bed. “I can wait.” He smiled weakly and left the room.

After the door slammed shut, I panicked. Was he angry?

That’s the only question left echoing inside my head. I immediately get up and followed him out. He was sitting on the couch and just by looking at his face, he seemed bothered.

“Hey,” I called his attention. His eyes diverted to me but immediately looked away.

I sat beside him and waited for him to speak.

But all I heard was silence. A completely deafening silence.

“Are you angry?” I asked. He immediately looked at me and his eyebrows furrowed as if I said something stupid.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one to ask you that?” His voice and expression hardened. He then looked down, placing his palms on his face to hide it.

“I’m... embarrassed of myself,” he confesses, “I don’t even know why I did that to you. And to think that we almost did that ‘thing’, I’m very disappointed of myself.”

He removed his palms and looked straight in my eyes, freezing me to my place. “I love you, Minjee. And I respect you very much. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what had gotten into me earlier..” He’s almost in tears, “Please forgive me.”

And in just a short second, he was already in his knees. Sobbing.

Lee Donghae, why are you always a crybaby?

“Stop it, Donghae. Get up. Stop kneeling.” He shook his head,

“No. Don’t you get it, Minjee? I almost took away something that’s very important to you... your dignity. I can’t even forgive myself.” He held my hand tighly as if trying to support himself.

I wiped the tears on his cheeks and smiled weakly, “Hey, I almost gave in too. So partly, it was my fault.”

“No, if I d-“

“Lee donghae,” I said, “Stop blaming yourself. Both of us are at fault. But nothing happened, right?”

He looked away. I held his chin and forced his eyes to look into mine. And when he did, I kissed him gently.

“Let’s forget everything that had happened. Let’s continue watching the movie, okay?” For the first time since that happened, he gave me a sincere smile.

Both of our hands intertwined together, Me leaning on his shoulder, and both of us watching a movie. One of the nights I wouldn’t forget.

The next day, we went back to Seoul early in the morning. Donghae dropped me off and then went to somewhere I didn’t bother to ask him. And like any other day, my parents are no longer there, specifically in Korea. They’re already at Italy closing a deal at some Italian business men.

 I only knew about it as soon as I entered the mansion. I overheard the maids talking about it. They didn’t even bother to call me just to say goodbye. But i’m already used to it anyway.

I was walking up to my room when I passed by my Ryeowook’s room. It was slightly open so I heard him talking. I’m guessing someone on the phone.

“I don’t know. Maybe never.” I heard him say. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again, “I’m already contented with what I have right now. I don’t need to find her. She’s not important to me.”

Her?

“Happy? Maybe no. I will never be happy. But i’m contented. That’s enough.”

I didn’t know until later that I realized I was already eavesdropping Ryeowook’s conversation with whoever is on the phone.

“I’m happy because I’m contented. Is that enough for you?” He sighed, “I have a lot of work piled up. I’ll call you later.”

Then that was it.

I quickly went inside my room and threw myself into my bed. I was blankly staring up the ceiling. The room was covered with silence, then without any intentions, a tear fell from my eyes.

The words Ryeowook said kept on echoing inside my head.

“Happy? Maybe no. I will never be happy. But i’m contented. That’s enough.”

“Happy? Maybe no. I will never be happy. But i’m contented. That’s enough.”

“Happy? Maybe no. I will never be happy. But i’m contented. That’s enough.”

He was never happy. Suddenly, the confession of dad flashed inside my head. The reason why Oppa’s distant to the family... the reason why Oppa was never happy.

Thinking about it pained me. He must have felt very lonely.

I was pulled out my reverie when I heard a knock in my door. I quickly got up and wiped the tear on my cheek.

“Are you tired? Do you need anything?” Ryeowook oppa entered my room. He smiled. But he isn’t happy.

I smiled back weakly, “Just a little and No thanks.” He sat beside me, looking around my room. I can’t help but look at him.

“Oppa, are you happy?” The words went out of my mouth before I could think. He immediately looked at me. Both confuse and surprise.

“Are you happy?” I repeated.

“Ofcourse, why wouldn’t I?”

Liar.

“You  don’t need to pretend any longer, oppa. I already know about it.” I said. He smiled,

“Dad told you?” I nodded, “Well, I’m guessing you heard his side of the story.”

“his side?” I looked at him with confusion.

“In every story, there are always two sides. Before you start judging the situation, make sure you heard both.” He lied back, “So, shall I start telling you my side?”

(...to be continued.)