A few days Later

(Sehun's perspective)

Its been a couple days since what happened between Luhan and I. These past few days have been miserable. All I've been thinking about is what Luhan said to me. I've been crying myself to sleep ever since that day. This was the worst thing Luhan has ever done to me. I thought Luhan was the one person who would never change with me, the one to always stay beside me and trust me, but that Luhan was long gone. The only thing he cares about now is Sooyeun. It amazes me how they only been out for such a short time but he already chose her over our relationship, which has existed for years! 

I've been writing a lot in my journal lately, but no matter how much I write about it I still can't find a way to feel relieved. There was nothing I could do to make me feel better, the only thing that would is if Luhans snaps back into his oldself. I miss the Luhan that cared about me, who spent every moment with me, the luhan  who made me feel like I was in a trance everytime I was with him. Now when I'm with Luhan its the total opposite..

When I see him it only reminds me of how I'll NEVER be with him. It brought pain in my heart when I thought of it, but I think I should really accpet it now.

If Luhan is changing, I guess its only natural to do the same.

Its about time to end this... just throw away all my feelings for Luhan, and completely forget about my unconditional love for him.

It feels impossible to do so, it's not so easy to ignore the way I feel deep down, I will always love him. No matter how hard I try not to, I can't help it.

Maybe I could get rid of these feelings if I found someone else... 

It's weird to imagine myself with anyone else but Luhan, but I couldn't stay like this forever.

I should go out more, meet some new people and hopefully I'd find someone who can love and appreciate me back. 

I've had a one sided love for my whole life, it only caused pain and suffering.

I don't know who I will find, but I'll try my hardest to find that person... 

At that moment my phone started ringing.

I always have hopes that would be Luhan calling to apologize but it was only Minjoo.

I answered the phone, "Hi Minjoo."

"Sehun! I've been worried about you, I've been trying to call you but you don't answer. I wanted to ask about what happened when you told Luhan about Sooyeun.." 

"Nothing happened." I said back 

"What do you mean?" Minjoo answered back clueless.

"Exactly what I said, nothing happened. He didn't believe me. He is still with her, just like you said." I held back the tears.

"Oh.. Sehun.. I'm sorry. Hey why don't you come over to my house tonight, we can talk about it." Minjoo offered.

I had nothing better to do and accepted Minjoo's offer. Minjoo was a really nice friend, I'm glad I can go to somebody. If it weren't for Minjoo I'd be completely alone in this world, I'm very thankful for her. I'm actually excited to see her tonight..

8:00 PM Minjoo's house

(Sehun's perspective)

Once we greeted each other I went inside amazed by her house. It was huge! Everywhere I looked there was something cool lying around.

"Minjoo, your house! Its really nice.." I said shocked.

"You think? She let out a soft giggle. "Well thanks Sehun, Lets go sit down and you can get everything off your chest."

I followed Minjoo to the large living room and sat down.

"Okay shoot!" Minjoo said.

"Shoot?" I asked back not knowing how to reply.

"Vent silly, my ears are prepared for all you have to say, let it out Sehun."

"Ohh.." I laughed. 

I told Minjoo everything I could say, although I still haven't told her about how I loved Luhan. That was a secret I'm planning on keeping to myself until I die.

"Some best friend he is.." Minjoo finally said after I was done talking. "Ah he must be love blinde, it will soon be over."

"You know, my whole life I tried keeping Luhan away from any danger. Since, thats what friends do for each other. But to be honest, I just dont care anymore. If Luhan doesn't want to take my warning seriously, and even insults me in return, then why should I care? I wanted to help him, I only wanted the best for him, but he is on his own now. Im DONE." I let out to Minjoo. 

I started to get really emotional as I said that, I started shivering and my eyes began to water.

I looked away wiping the tears away from my face until Minjoo turned my head back to her.

"Sehun, you don't have to hide your emotions from me." She said while looking into my eyes.

My heart began to beat rapidly, Oh no does Minjoo know about my feelings for Luhan? Was I too obvious about it!?

"Your friend hurt your feelings, I dont blame you for being sad about it." Minjoo finished.

I took in a big sigh of relief. Good thing she still had no clue about it.

"Let it out, sehun." Minjoo said quitely 

Soon after I had finally cracked, I let out everything I had in me. I cried and cried unable to hold anything back anymore 

Minjoo looked like she was getting watery eyed herself. 

"I..I..I didn't know a friend could turn on you so easily.." I panted.

Minjoo then hugged me really tightly. 

My arms automatically wrapped themselves around Minjoo back. We were glued together.

I finally stopped crying and stayed silent while still hugging Minjoo.

Minjoo broke the silence and whispered in my ear. "Sehun.."

I moved back away from her to look at her face.

I shook my head slighty to indicate for her to finish what she had to say.

"Sehun.." She repeated. It got quiet again soon after and we had stayed staring at each others face, her hands still slighty tied to me. 

As the minutes flew by we were still intranced into each other's eyes. Neither of us blinked nor moved.

Then it happened, Minjoo's face got closer and closer to mine. Surprisingly I didn't pull back or move away but instead allowed her to get close, I even moved closer to her too. I closed my eyes and felt something soft and sweet onto my lips. 

I didn't know what was going on until I opened my eyes to see that Minjoo was kissing me..

My first kiss.

Although I wanted to move back I couldnt bring myself to do so. Instead the kiss deepened until we both had to lean back to catch our breath.

the room became dead silent and extremely awkward. 

I couldn't believe what had just happened between us. My whole life I promised myself to never lock lips with any person unless it had been Luhan.

I don't like girls to begin with but I just kissed one.. What was going on..?

But why did it feel so different with Minjoo. 

Is it because I felt that comfort with her the way I did with Luhan? 

I didn't know what to think at that moment, but it didn't matter anymore.

I leaned back in to continue my kiss with Minjoo. 

I'm sorry you couldn't have been my first Luhan..

I'm so sorry....