Betrayal [Super Junior Version] - KatyMikayla

Title [4 out of 5]: 

The title isn't completely unique, and so far into the story I found no sign of betrayal. So I don't have much to say here other than that, as it was a single word. Although the story is interesting with the point of views swapping around and showing different perspectives. I think if the story had progressed a little more about Jessica and Sungmin, then maybe then that would've made the title have some sort of connection to the title. 

Foreword, Description [18 out of 20]:

The foreword and description is very interesting as Jessica is talking about a very crucial part of the story, yet it hasn't happened though. Which is probably what most of the readers are looking forward to so far, because that's what I was looking forward to in the story after reading your foreword and description.

Appearance/Poster, Background, etc [5 out of 5]:

The poster is nice or shall I say, posters? They were all very nicely done and made, and the background gives the story a very vintage feel to it, which I would say fits the story quite well.

Plot and Originality [14 out of 15]

The plot was definitely nice something I wouldn't have imagined, because it's almost as if it's happening way back in the 90's or something like that. Though I wouldn't say that it's my first time reading about slaves and having to do lustful things. The creativity in the story is okay, but it seems rather plain to me as there wasn't anything exciting happening other than the main events such as Jessica getting Sungmin as her slave. Though what I'm not sure about everyone's age other than Jessica's because it said that Eunhyuk got Donghae when he turned 16, so I'm guessing that Jessica is 16 when she got Sungmin, so maybe if you had wrote somewhere about their ages, that wouldn't have been so confusing to think or figure out.

Grammar, Spelling, Vocabulary, etc. [18 out of 20]:

Error: “Did you find you that you liked?” Appa asked when we walked out of the room.
Correction: “Did you find someone that you liked?” Appa asked when we walked out of the room.

Error: I looked the sleeping boy in my arms and sighed.
Correction: I looked at the sleeping boy in my arms and sighed.

Error: He really doesn’t care about me, I though as I quietly shut his door on my way out.
Correction: He really doesn’t care about me, I thought as I quietly shut his door on my way out.

Error: My Lord gave me a hard in the stomach,
Correction: My Lord gave me a hard kick in the stomach,

These are the only mistakes I found in the story so far. There weren't many at all, and your English is flawless. 

Characters [9 out of 10]:

The way you wrote about the characters were definitely good, but what irks me are the ages. I have no clue about everyone's age except for Jessica. As she had her 16th birthday, and then everyone else's age seem to be a mystery. Also, since Jessica is an innocent girl, why would they buy her a slave? I'm just curious because the story had quite a lot of chapters, yet this wasn't written.

Flow [7 out of 10]:

The flow was slow in my opinion. The reason I think it is, is because there had been about over 15 chapters? Yet there wasn't much progression in the story. Since in the first few chapters Jessica got Sungmin, and then you wrote about their everyday lives, which is perfectly fine, but too many fillers will start to bore the reader, so maybe if the flow went on a little faster then I'm sure more of the readers would be excited.

Writing Style [15 out of 15]:

I definitely loved your writing style, the way you organized your chapter was lovely. Nothing to criticize here as I see no reason to.

90 out of 100

Reviewer's note: Loved your story, I felt sad that I had to stop reviewing it at a cliffhanger. I hate those, it makes me curious! XD