Calling... pretenditsyou
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Title[5/5]: Your title is really unique. It's nothing I've ever seen before. It's a little lengthy but that's fine. It fits your story which is good. It also draws me into your story which is also very good.
Design(Posters, Font Color, Font Style, and Backgrounds)[3/5]: I personal don't like your poster. I would have liked something more emotional and meaningful. It's okay if you like it but it doesn't really draw me into your story. The fonts of the words looked beautiful. I think I would have liked the poster more if it actually had a girl in a library reading a book with Kris, the girl from the book and Luhan faded into the background. Your background is alright. Your story is colored which suits it well^^. And your Font is good too.
Description & Foreword [5/10]: I suggest removing the words, A/N: *This is a spin-off or sub-series to my story-- My sweet guardian Aliens (which means some characters from my first fiction will be here) ------------- To all readers :) pretenditsyou is now introducing a new story of LOVE and DESTINY. A love story that happened in the past, and putting them into your foreword. They don't really belong where you should be descriping some of the contents of your story and hooking the reader into your story.
Description Corrections:
Coincidence, that's the first thing that come [comes] inside my mind first.
Two different world: [worlds:] one happened in the past and two [is] happening in present time.
A Love[love] story that I keep for thirteen years. That story that I try to ran away[tried to run away from is] but it's walking to me NOW.
I don't know what destiny had gotten on[has done to] me. I don't know what did the heavens do[did].
I was wishing, dreaming and hoping of[for] a happy ever after but I'm alone for the a [rest of this decade]decade.
...
I feel[felt] like sleeping for eons[hours] until a light wake[woke] me up. An angel came down from heaven.
She search[searched] for the lost pages of my life. She continue[continued] the story that I didn't finish.
and She[she] is the one who will published[publish] the love story of mine[my love story] that I thought it would be a forever UNPUBLISH.[UNPUBLISHED]
Foreword Corrections:
You spelled Saranghae wrong. :) Also in and love should have a space seperating them.
Plot and Characters[30/30]: Your plot is very very original. Your characters and their personalities are original too. I love the fact that this fanfic is a spin-off of one of your other fanfics. That's really cool!
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Word Chose[19/25]: Your chapters were kinda short. The large font doesn't make them anymore longer. I would have liked for you to be more deatailed with your chapters and end off with some cliffhangers that make your readers ponder until you answer their questions in the next chapter. Your grammar is okay, it could be improved but it's acceptable seeing as English is not your first language. Your word choice is amazing but it could use some work. There are some times where you mix up it's(it is) and its(it owns). You also miss some chances to use a comma to seperate parts of a sentence. In some of your quotes, you also don't use any punctuation. Coz is not a word but because is. Your skills with past tense and present tense isn't really good, I susggested you go back and work on your grammar, punctuation, spelling and word chose and useage..
Flow[10/10]: I love the transitions between the story and what was currently happening. Your pace makes it even easier to read your story. I love how every one of your chapters is balanced and flows right into the next one. Tip: To boost your readers exciment for future chapters use some more cliffhanger(e.g one day while the reader's OC is reading the book at school, she misplaces it and Kris/ Hanna/ or even Luhan's grandson/kid/whoever finds it.).
Overall Enjoyment[15/15]: I really enjoyed reading this fanfic. It was quite different from the usual fanfics that I read but nonetheless WAY better. There are multiple things you used work on. I think you should ask for help if you have any problems with grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. with your followers who I'm pretty sure do speak English.
Grade: 87%
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