THIRD PERSON’s

After weeks of ignoring each other, both Yuri and Jessica gave up on making things better, none of them ever thought of talking about what happened nor taking a leap at the widened gap between them. Ni hindi na nila alam saan pa sila dapat gumalaw, o kung may gagalawan pa ba, Jessica let it that way while Yuri convinced herself that they were all ‘good.’  Walang makapagsasabi kung lumalaban pa sila, at wala ring makapagsasabi kung kailangan darating ang isang araw na talagang mahal pa nga nila ang isa’t-isa.

It was a busy day for Yuri, and yet her mind was stuck repeating what happened on that one specific night of her life. Ang mga salitang sana hindi na lang niya binanggit, ang mga emosyon na sana pinigilan niya hangga’t maari, at ang mga pangako niya na hanggang ngayon, ‘pangako’ pa rin. No one can blame Yuri for feeling like this after watching Jessica drift away from her however, no one can put words into Yuri’s mouth as if she didn’t do anything to make it all better.

‘Hindi mo pa rin ba ‘ko kakausapin? Hindi pa rin ba tayo babalik sa dati? I don’t think I can last living like this.’ Her inner voice kept echoing inside her head, at sa dinami-rami nga naman ng mga salitang nanakit sa kanya, sarili lang din ang makakapawi ng hapdi. Hindi si Jessica, hindi ang mga alaala nila, tanging siya na lang ang kinakapitan niya.

The loud ringing made Yuri stand on her feet properly. She abruptly peeked at the door to see what’s happening, only to find out Yoona came in running, to see her, panting very quickly, Yuri looked lost and confused. Kumurap ang mga mata nito, at para bang nagulat siyang hindi ito kumikilos. Habang ang dalaga naman ay nakatingin lang sa kanya naghihintay ng sasabihin nito.

“Bakit nandito ka pa rin? Hindi ka ba tinext ng kapatid ni Jessica?” Yuri can’t seem to grasp what Yoona was telling her dahil wala pa rin itong ka kibo-kibo. All she could do was take her phone out from her pocket, and saw two text messages coming from the person Yoona just mentioned.

“Ate Yul, nasa ospital si ate Sica ngayon, akala ko nauna ka na rito but kuya Kris called me first.”

“Naglalabor na si ate, and kami pa lang bantay niya, I hope you can make it on time.”

For the record, Yuri wasn’t even aware of that, for the record, she failed Jessica for nth time now. And Yuri can’t help not to think, how long will she keep on missing these important things. Hindi na rin talaga siya magtataka kung bakit minsan napapagod na lang si Jessica sa kanya. Again, no one can blame Yuri other than herself.

“Hayaan mo na yan, ibibilin ko na lang sa mga tao ko yung maiiwanan mo, we should go at the hospital first.” Before Yoona could still continue what she was about to say, Yuri held her wrist and dragged her outside the shop. Hindi na siya magsasayang pa ng oras lalo na’t huli na siya simula pa lang.

“Nandon na raw si Yifan? lang nauna pa talaga siya sa’kin.” That thought bugged Yuri the most, sampal kasi sa kanya na mas kaya talaga ibigay ni Kris ang mga bagay na hindi na niya nagagawa sa ngayon. Yung takot na isang araw hindi na siya pipiliin pa ni Jessica ay halos nakatira na sa loob ng puso niya.

“Oo, kanina pa yata yung text ni Krys sayo pero ngayon mo lang tinignan, edi kung nabasa mo agad, nauna ka sana sa kanya... Eh bakit ba kasi wala kang alam dyan sa girlfriend mo?” Yuri didn’t know how to answer that, infact, she didn’t know why Jessica slipped away just like that. Lahat na ng suyo ginawa niya para magkaayos sila, pero nakakapagod din intindihin ang taong ayaw naman magpasuyo sa kanya.

Pagod, at lamig. Dalawang salita na lang ang bumubuo sa kanila, halos umiikot sa dalawang salita na 'yan ang nararamdaman nila para isa’t-isa. Jessica doesn’t believe her anymore, as much as Yuri’s tired of explaining herself over and over. Just how fast these tables turned the other way around, hindi na si Jessica ang mali sa kanilang dalawa. She had been growing her leaves for the flowers to bloom and yet, Yuri’s not giving the light their love desires.

She had been watering it with pain, with hatred, and with doubt, there was no actual growth. Yuri chose to stay at the broken side of her heart, dried itself there and never came out. At sa hinaba ng panahon ngayon na lang nararamdaman ni Yuri na may pagkakamali rin siya sa kanilang dalawa. And she never thought she’d be hurting her woman more than it caused her.

Hindi na niya napansing hindi na siya nakasagot pa kay Yoona, all she could do was to hide their broken lines into a sweet smile. But still, Yoona knows it’s too high for a price, she would never dare buying it. Kaya hindi nito tinigilan si Yuri hangga’t hindi ito umaamin sa kanya.

“Wag mo ko dinadaan sa mga ganyang ngiti, pareho lang kayo ni Jess ng sinasagot pag tinanong ko kayo about diyan. I-set aside mo muna kung anong nagpapalayo sayo dahil mas kailangan ka 'non ngayon.” Looking at the time, they are an hour late, at hindi na nito alam kung may aaabutan pa ba sila don o wala na.

“What if ayaw naman niya ‘ko makita? Ako lang ‘tong nag-aasume na baka hinahanap niya ko sa mga oras na ‘to? Nandon na lahat ng kailagan niya eh, ano pang gagawin ko ron?” Her anxiety never fails to haunt down her soul. At kahit pa hindi niya ito pakinggan, paulit-ulit siyang binubulungan ng nakaraan. These what ifs and worries didn’t let Yuri live in peace, not even once.

“Why did the two of you gave up on making things better? When both of your hearts always yearned for each other? Yul, trust Jessica, I swear she’s trying to make herself worthy of your love again.” And at that moment only a few words can make her think hindi na lang siya ang lumalaban pa, hindi na lang siya ang nakakapit pa. It had always been the both of them.

After a long drive they finally came at the hospital. Her friends greeted her and it was a surprise to see the least expected person to be late, finally came. Parang gusto na lamang niya magpalamon sa lupa at hindi na bumalik sa mapanghusgang tingin ng lahat. It was a good thing she came with Yoona; she was able to explain the most complicated things that happened along the way.

Speaking of everyone, Taeyeon and Tiffany met after a long time. As usual, the awkward silence was the aftermath of their unresolved break-up, however, it doesn’t concern Yuri, all she could think of, was Jessica, her baby and their well-being. Habang hinahanap nito ang kwarto ng dalaga, sinusundan lang siya ni Taeyeon na parang may gusto itong sabihin sa kanya.

But then Yuri was too busy to spare Taeyeon a little of her time, she didn’t look back at her, and let her footsteps follow her own. Taeyeon was about to grab for her arm but it was too late for her when Yuri decided to stop at glass door beside them. A view of a beautiful family welcomed Yuri.

How lovely it is to watch the mother, the father and their newborn child spend their most valuable time with each other.

Taeyeon could only sigh at