The Kwon family returned home after their father’s burial. Yuri stopped walking at the doorstep as memories of them started playing in her mind, it had never been this empty, it had never been this lonely, but now that the largest peice of the puzzle was left missing, they will never be the same. Sobrang bigat maglakad sa loob ng bahay nila, na parang bawat yabag ng paa sa sahig katumbas ang bawat patak ng luha sa mata.

Hindi na lang talaga katulad ng dati, hindi na kaya ibalik yung dati. Nakakulong lahat ng lungkot sa apat na sulok ng bahay, na kahit buksan pa ang mga pinto at bintana, mukhang hindi pa rin makakalabas ang presensya ng kanilang ama. Her brother returned inside and just like his older sister, he felt the same thing, the difference is, hindi na niya ito pinapansin, he just wanted to survive, he just wanted to brush the pain away from his chest.

Pumanik si Yuri ng hagdan at nakita niya ang ina sa loob ng kwarto nila, nakaupo habang hawak ang mga natitirang damit nito sa aparador, ramdam na ramdam ni Yuri ang lungkot, pero hindi siya nagpatinag at linakasan ang loob para makapaglinis na sila ng mga naiwang gamit ng ama.

“Ma, magtanggal na po tayo ng gamit.” Matipid na sabi ng dalaga, nagulat ito sa malamig niyang boses at pinunasan ang mga luha sa kanyang mukha.

“Oo anak, tatayo na ‘ko. Unahin mo na yung mga damit ng papa mo, ako na bahala sa ibang mga gamit niya rito.” Agad namang sumunod si Yuri sa utos ng ina, she walked up to the said cabinet and took all the folded clothes inside.

At kahit sobrang labag sa loob nya ang alisin lahat ng makakapagpaalala sa kanya ng kanilang ama, wala siyang magagawa kundi sumunod na lang. They need to move on, they can’t stay stagnant over something that won’t return. She put all of his clothes in a plastic bag including all of his shoes as well, the young woman noticed a small frame at the corner of her eye that eventually grabbed Yuri’s attention. It was her college graduation picture, its been so long since that day, and she can’t believe he kept it still.

She looked at it for too long when tears started falling on its opaque glass, Yuri was astounded to see it wasn’t only her picture, it was their picture, she was smiling genuinely and her father looked very proud in it. Napakagat siya ng labi nang makita muli ang itsura ng ama habang buhay pa.

Everything in this room isn’t helping her to move on, everything seems to keep reminding her of all the memories they shared together. Yuri held on it so tight like she was venting all her emotions in it, hanggang litrato na lang niya makikita ang ama, hanggang litrato na lang niya itong mararamdamang masaya.

How cruel the world can be, that everything in her life seems to be falling apart, hindi na niya alam saan niya pupulutin yung sarili niya, hindi na niya alam paano pa siya makakapagsimula. Is there a way to escape this kind of pain? She thought, she just had to bear it all.

“Kailangan mo ba ‘yan nak? Baka lalo mo lang maalala si papa mo diyan?” Her mother muffled as she watched her daughter cry over their picture.

“Okay lang po, kahit dito man lang nakita ko po siyang nakangiti bago siya nawala. I’m keeping this.” It’s a memory she needs to keep going, it may hurt now, but she knows it will all be worth it. Just like how he smiled proudly here, she wants to see that smile again once she’s able to move forward.

She placed the frame on the table and continued whatever she was doing. Lahat ng gamit kinuha nila, lahat ng alaala niya inalis nila, until the room was half empty. Gaya niya, ubos na, said na, halos wala nang nararamdaman, sa dami ng pinagdaanan niya sa loob ng isang linggo, sino nga namang hindi mapapagod? Hindi na siya nagtagal at lumabas na rin agad, she can no longer stand the scent inside.

She left this house feeling very happy, why does she need to return carrying all the sorrow it has? This isn’t home anymore, this is just a house, a building that shelter three broken people. No, it couldn’t even protect their hearts from pain, this is just a prison for them, where they can never escape from its memory lane.

Nakarating na siya sa kwarto niya at ni kaluskos ng kapatid wala siyang narinig, lahat sila tahimik, and she didn’t know the silence inside would be this deafening. Nahiga siya at itinakip ang mga unan sa kanyang tenga, nabibingi siya, hindi lang sa mga boses na meron sa isip niya pati yung katihimikan pinapatay siya. She should have kept herself busy, then maybe, the loneliness inside will never have the time to bother her.

Bigla na lang napabalikwas ng bangon si Yuri nang makarinig siya ng basag na plato mula sa labas ng kwarto, she rushed to see what happened and from there he saw his brother slumping on the floor picking up the shattered plate he broke.

“Bakit anong nangyari? Bakit nabasag to?” Yuri asked in a firm tone, it triggered her knowing it was their father’s favorite plate. How can he be so careless of the things their father taken cared of?

“Naghuhugas kasi ako ng plato, tapos nabitawan ko, hindi ko alam ito pala yung paboritong plato ni papa...” He said while collecting all the peices scattered around his foot.

“Alam mo naman kung gaano kahalaga kay papa yan, tapos babasagin mo lang. Wag mo nang ayusin hindi na yan babalik sa dati.” Gaya nila, hindi na maayos, at hindi na rin babalik sa dati.

“Hindi naman mahalaga kung bumalik sa dati o hindi, ang mahalaga buo pa rin, inalagaan pa rin.” What he said struck Yuri’s thoughts, kahit nga naman hindi na sila bumalik, ang mahalaga buo pa rin, kahit wala ang ama, buo pa rin sila. They only have each other and that’s enough to complete the peice he left for them.

He glued the plate back to its form, she saw how the lines pass through its ends, pero buo, may lamat man, pero buo. Kahit saang anggulo tignan ang sira nito, she can’t deny he made it whole and complete. Kahit gaano kalalim ang butas, mabubuo pa rin.

And it gave her hope, she felt how much her brother wanted to help fix everything, and she’s been holding herself from moving on, it doesn’t end just by letting these peices scatter around the floor, pick yourself up, and you will be whole. Just like this plate, they can only be full when you have each other beside you.

Being all silent inside their house made the time tick faster than it should, hindi na namalayan ni Yuri, pasapit na naman ang buwan sa kalangitan, isang madilim at malamig na gabi ang bubungad na naman sa kanila. Kailan ba siya makakatulog nang hindi nilalamig ang puso? Hindi na rin nakakatulong na tuwing magpapahinga siya uulanin ang bubong nila.

Sa lahat ng oras sumasabay ang langit sa lungkot na nararamdaman niya, sana pati yung saya na dala ng araw sumabay rin sa kanya.

She s