What would you do when the person you love does not love you back? Move on. What would you do when the said person is your bestfriend? Complicated, right? Tragic even. I always ask myself why, why did I fall in love with her? Only to be slapped by nothing, no specific reason, I love her because it was her, Bae Joohyun. Moving on and finding someone else should be the best decision. But every single time I try to free myself from her, she would always pull me in drowning me in this chaotic, complicated feeling called love.

I glance at my side looking at the woman I love, Bae Joohyun. She was once again leaning on my shoulder while holding my hand, my left earbud plugged at her ear. I looked out the window suppressing the crazy thoughts inside my mind. Cause sometimes, sometimes I just think that maybe, just maybe, she really meant it when she said she love me.

When we arrived at the Malaysia airport, fans are already crowding the area. While I was walking towards the van, I felt someone, something brushing against my hand. Then I saw her, walking beside me while holding my hand trying to act nonchalant. I smiled inwardly. How can I possibly move on when she's acting like this? As if she want me, love me when in reality I am nothing but her bestfriend. Pathetic, right? Well, reality .

Luckily, I don't have to share a room with her during our stay here in Malaysia. I need to take a break. I need a break from her. I might end up falling way way deeper than I have before. And I'm pretty sure that she won't be there to catch me if I fall. I need to save myself, my heart from another possible heart break.

After I finished preparing, I received a message from Yeri that she would do a surprise V live for the fans. I went immediately to their room to accompany her knowing full well that Joohyun-unnie was still preparing. But God must really hate me. In the middle of our V live, she appeared looking as perfect as ever. I tried to act casually. But luck wasn't on my side either. She started leaning closer, her skirt hiking up giving me a glimpse of her thigh. Her scent started to invade me. Her touch warms me up. I think I'm going crazy, my heart's beating crazily, my mind's thinking crazy thoughts. I'm starting to feel dizzy. I need to get away. I made up an excuse to get away. I need to calm myself.

After taking several deep breaths to calm myself down, I went back inside their room. She was clinging to Yeri while they are singing like a maniac. I sat down on the bed with a safe distance between us. She was not looking at me. She did not even acknowledge my presence.

When we went to the stage to perform, she did not hold my hand. Despite the lack of space and with my hand an arm's length away from her, she still did not hold my hand. She was not looking at me. She was not smiling at me. She would only talk to me if needed. I feel so empty. Did I perhaps do something wrong again? I wanted to ask her but I can't. Not when she's giving me a cold shoulder.
 

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Author's note:

A short update for you guys 😉 And you need to watch her V-live mentioned in this chapter okay? Seulgi looks so cute there feeling awkward when Irene started to lean so close 😂😂