It was painful. It was too much to bear. To watch her accepting each and every confession towards her. She was happy to accept anyone's confession. Anyone but mine. It hurts. It still hurts.

Instead of sulking and mourning, I started to live my life. I started acting like a leader. I put on yet another facade. I built every single wall around me, away from everyone, away from her.

It was pointless though. The moment she appeared on that show. The moment she appeared on 'High school rapper' with that young handsome hoobae, the walls I built crumbled down. The way her body sways, the way he touched him, the way he looked at him, the way she grinds her body against him. It was as if she's stabbing my heart over and over again. It was as if she trampled my heart and threw it away like a trash.

It was supposed to be me. I should be the one she's dancing with. It should've been me and not that Mark. The thought only brought me despair. I feel so hopeless, so pathetic.

When I lay down in my bed that night, the scene keeps on flooding my mind. It used to be just me and you but now it's not. You were dancing sensually with someone else. That thought alone made me cry. My body starts shaking as my tears fell down. I broke into an endless sob. It was even more agonizing because you weren't here to comfort me. This time, I lost you.

---

The next day, it was as if I was floating, feeling lost. I managed to finish all the schedules without screwing up. I was in the waiting room preparing to go home when Wendy approached me.

"Unnie, are you okay?", she asked while looking at me worriedly. I just shaked my head while giving her a smile.

"You look so lost this days unnie. Did something happen? You can always tell me unnie", she said while staring at me. I kept mum deciding to keep my worries to myself. I should just hold it in or else our group would fall apart.

"Was it Seulgi? You two started acting weird lately", she said.

I kept my head down as I struggle to suppress the tears from escaping. My efforts were futile though. My eyes stinging as tears flowed down in my cheek. I felt a hand wrap around my body. I leaned on her as I sobbed uncontrollably. Releasing all my frustrations as I cry.

When I calmed myself down, she was still holding me while rubbing circles at my back. It was what I need. I needed comfort. I needed someone to talk to. Breaking the hug, I started to speak up.

"I confessed to her few days ago", I watched as opened widely probably due to shock. She started closing as she nodded urging me to continue.

"You were right. I was in love with her. I knew it all along but I decided to ignore it, to deny it. I was too afraid. When she confessed to me, I was caught up in a situation where I can't react to her feelings. I was dating Bogum. It would be wrong to accept her feelings when I belong to someone else. I was never in love with him though. He was just a distraction, a diversion of my attention.", I sighed.

"When she was back I didn't know what to do, what to say nor how to act around her. But she reached out to me first and I was thankful for that. I broke up with Bogum not just because I wanted to be with her, but because I wanted to be honest with myself, with her and with Bogum. I don't want stringing people along just because I can't sort out my feelings. When she was hanging out with you or someone else, I get jealous, possessive even. My feelings get stronger each day. When you told me those things, I started thinking about it again. I started thinking about the "What ifs". You opened my eyes and gave me hope, that perhaps, perhaps she's still in love with me. I gathered up all my courage and confessed to her but she..she just..she rejected me. She brushed it off as if the idea was so dumb. As if it was worthless", I said as I started to tear up once again.

"It's too painful Wendy. It hurts. It hurts like hell. As if my heart was being ripped", I said as I cried on her shoulder. She patted me behind my back comforting me. We stayed in that position for a couple of minutes when she suddenly broke the hug and stare at me intently.

"Want me to help you?", she said while looking at me smiling warmly then her smile turned into an evil smirk sending shivers to my body.

---

Author's note:

My last update for today. Enjoy Reading 😉