What was the most difficult thing about love? Was it the pain? The hurt? Or was it the thought of loving someone but not taking a shot, not pursuing, not exerting effort.

"You just have to show her what you really felt"

I spend my time watching her from afar, yet again. I've been spending too much time watching her from afar. Too afraid to approach her after the rejection. Too afraid to confirm that she really moved on. That I threw away everything, the possible of us, and the 8 yrs worth of friendship we shared.

"Did she blatantly tell you that she doesn't like you or love you anymore?"

Sure thing, the words "I don't like you nor I don't love you"didn't come out from . But she just brushed off my confession aside. She didn't even bother to acknowledge it. As if it was the craziest idea ever. As if us, was not even possible.

I released yet another long sigh. This is stressing me out. It's like solving another puzzle without a pattern. It was impossible yet it still draws my attention.

"Have you ever saw the look she's been giving you? The sincerity, the love, it was all there unnie?"

Sure thing, it was there. I can feel it too. I'm not that dense. But why would she act that way if she really love me. Maybe I misread her actions. I was too dumb to think that she still have lingering feelings towards me. 

"She was just shocked. She did not expect you to confess to her. You were in a relationship remember, and with a guy if I may add. I guess she thought you were just looking for a rebound"

Does she think that low of me? I guess I deserve that. I should've confessed sooner. If only I could turn back time. We wouldn't be in this kind of mess. We wouldn't hurt each other. We wouldn't be holding our shattered heart.

"Would you just give up like that without fighting for her? Won't you regret it? You might lose her, totally this time. Would you just accept that?"

"Then what should I do, Wendy? I don't know how to approach her. I don't even know if I can still face her and pretend that everything's alright when it's not. It's over", I said with a frustrated sigh.

"Is it?", she said with an amused expression.

"It's not over unnie until you try", she continued.

"I tried but she rejected me", I said firmly.

"She did not. I'm still surprised that you don't know her that well. She's dumb and dense. Your words didn't get through her. Maybe you should try harder. Maybe you should think of a different way. How about showing her through actions? ", she asked while looking at me waiting for my response.

"I...I don't know..how..how would I do that?", I asked while keeping my head down.

"Well, first you just have to act the same way you did before your failed confession. Be more natural, be sincere. And if you can, try to be more expressive this time. More intimate. Not just a friendly or sisterly affection, it should be more than that", she said. I was skeptical but I decided to trust her this time.

"And if all else fail, just come to me. I'll treat you better", she continued while smiling like an idiot. I just shoved a pillow against her face.

Feeling determined, I walk up to her, sat beside her and held her hand without looking at her. I felt her hand went rigid. I tried to act cool by engaging in their conversation.

"So what are you guys talking about?", I asked the maknaes.

"Oh, unnie. We were just talking about what we should do tomorrow. The manager told us we can take the day off tomorrow", Yeri said.

"We were planning to go shopping tomorrow unnie and maybe grab some ice cream and hang out. Wanna tag along?", Joy asked.

I felt her hand relax this time.

"Well, I have a schedule in the morning. But I think I can spend my afternoon with you guys, once my schedule is over", I said as I turned to Seulgi while smiling. When she smiled back at me it felt like a weight has been lifted off from my shoulder.

The next day, I found myself staring at my watch from the umpteenth time that day. I wanted the time to pass by faster. I wanted to finish filming faster. I was so giddy and excited to see her even though it's been hours since I last saw her.

When I arrived at the cafe, she was the first person I searched for. It was funny. I look like a lovestruck fool. I smiled at them as I walked and sat beside her. I sneakily hold her free hand against my own. It was nerve-racking. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach as I feel the warmth of her hand. It was a different kind of feeling. Different in a good way.

We talk, eat and drink but I didn't let go of her hand, not even a second. As I was sipping my milkshake, I can't help but stare at her lips. When I noticed remnants of cake at the corner of her lips, I did not hesitate to reach out to remove it. I felt her soft lips against my finger. My heart started to beat loudly against my chest.

"Ahm, unnie. Where do you want to go first. Shopping or Karaoke bar?", Wendy said after clearing looking at me amusedly.

"Anywhere you guys want. Where should we go first Seulgi-ah?", I asked as I shifted my gaze towards the girl beside me. I saw her bow her head down while her cheeks started to blush. It was so cute, she was so cute I wanted to pinch her cheeks but decided not to.

"Anywhere is fine", she said in a low voice.

We exited the cafe while holding each others hand. I didn't even care if my hand is sweaty or not. I just want to feel her soft, slender hand against mine. We decided to stroll along Insadong to shop. I watched as the members pick clothes that suit their style.

"Do you want to buy something?", I whispered to her. She nodded and I was about to let her hand go. But she was quick to hold onto my hand.

"Let's look for something to buy like this", she said while holding out our intertwined hands, smiling shyly. I just nodded and we proceed to pick out something to buy.

After shopping, we decided to eat first before going to the Karaoke bar. The two evil maknae are too hungry to sing they might destroy the place if we don't feed them.

While I was eating, I can feel her eyes on me. She was staring at me and it only made me self-conscious. She keep on throwing glance at me. I wrapped a meat for her and feed her. She was hesitant at first but she ended up eating it. I started feeding her not caring about the members.

"Don't you think Irene-unnie is acting weird today?", I heard Joy whisper to Yeri rather loudly.

"I noticed that too unnie. They're acting like a couple, Seulgi-unnie and Irene-unnie", Yeri whispered loudly to Joy.

Seulgi almost choked on the meat she's eating. I handed her a glass of water then patted her back while throwing glares to the two maknaes. From the corner of my eyes, I can see Wendy clutching her stomach while chuckling.

The night was filled with teasing from the two maknaes. They were observing us intently that not even a subtle touch can escape from their hawk eyes. It was still good though. Seulgi, even though she's uncomfortable, she still allowed me to hold her hand. To sum it all up, I enjoyed it. Every single moment of it. It was the first time that I allowed myself to act without thinking about the other people, without thinking about the public. It was just about us, about me and Seulgi.

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Author's note:

I feel like I'm dragging this story for too long. I might need to finish this soon. What do you guys think?

p.s the italicized word are tge unreleased conversation irene and wendy had from previous chapter.