It was summer when I first saw her in this same room. She was the trainee loved by everyone while I was just a newcomer. Because of my introverted self, I had difficulty in befriending other trainees thus I was always alone. Then she came to me and introduced herself with her beautiful smile. She was always beside me after that day. She even introduced me to some of her friends. Because of her, I was able to befriend the other trainees.

Being a trainee is difficult as it is. Living alone without your family is much more difficult but I never felt that way ever since she came into my life. She was my family. Training was difficult but she made it easy for me by encouraging me and holding my hand. She kept me motivated. I broke down several times but she was always there to pull me up. She was always my support system. She always gave me strength.

When she broke down and cried in front of me, I was devastated and broke as well. It was difficult for me to see my constant supporter and source of strength, losing hope and losing her self-confidence but instead of crying, I encouraged her. I was relieved when I saw her smile. Her smile would always comfort me. We had each other's back. We promised to stick together and reach our dreams together until the end.

When the company representative informed us that we would debut in the same group along with two other members, we were really happy and excited.We hugged and cried feeling relieved that our hardworks are starting to pay-off. When they announced that I would lead the group, I was scared. I don't have the confidence that I would do well but she just smiled and coax me that I can do it, and I believed her. I always believe in everything she says.

Though I was uncertain, I accepted my role as a leader. Every single time I doubt myself, my voice, my dance, my capability as a leader, she would always say otherwise. She would constantly remind me how pretty I am, how lovely my voice is, how good I look in the dancefloor, how good of a leader I am and that's what always keep me motivated. She was always the source of my strength. Like a sun, she brightened up my world, she made it a better place. She would always be my bestfriend, my sister, my family.

She always showed my how much she care. She was always an attentive, loving, caring, sweet friend. She would never miss a chance to give me compliment, on or offscreen. And I'm always thankful for that. I was always thankful that I met her.

When Bogum confessed to me, her face was the first thing that popped up in my mind. How would she react? She was always overprotective of me that one would think she was the older one.

When I told her that Bogum confessed to me, her reaction was unexpected. There was disappointment, sadness, hesitancy but instead of reprimanding me she just smiled and told me she was happy for me. She was rather accomodating about the idea. Instead of being happy, I was worried. Something's off, something's strange with her reaction and I can't pinpoint what.

When the management informed me that she requested a break, a 2-month long break with an obvious made-up reason, it made me furious. How in the hell is she suffering from a slump when she's oozing with so much charisma and confidence in her performance. What made me even more furious is the fact that I had to hear it from the manager and not from her. It doesn't even help that lately she's acting strange around me, as if she's trying to avoid me.

I made up my mind and confronted her that day but instead of telling me the truth, she keeps on giving me the crappy excuses she gave the management. It pissed me off. It enraged me. What does she take me for. I've known her for years, I know when she's lying or not and she's definitely lying this time. She's dodging the question as if her life depended on it.

But something happened, something that I did not expect. She told me she like me, that she love me, not as a friend, not as a sister, but she romantically love me. I was stunned. I was not prepared to hear it from her. I was never prepared. I was speechless, I thought it was just one of her silly jokes. I thought it was just her way to get away from my interrogations. But when I saw the pain, the tears, it clicked on me. She was serious. All those sweet gestures, the hugs, the way she held my hand, her stare, her compliments, her encouragement, her smiles, everything, she did everything because she love me and I was too naive to not notice it. I tried to apologize but instead of blaming me she just smiled and comforted me when she is the one that needs comfort. I broke down in tears when I saw how broken she is. She is smiling despite the pain and hurt I caused her. She still cares about me and my happiness despite the fact that I broke her heart. It kills me to see her like this and to know that I was the one who broke her. So when she begged me to let her go, I allowed her despite the fact that I'm scared. I was scared to let her go. I was scared to lose her.

After she left, I would spend every single night cooped up in bed with my tear-stained face. I wanted to trust her words but it does not keep my worries away. There's a nagging feeling in my head. I would always spend my day wondering about her, if she's doing well, if she's eating properly, if she's thinking about me. I know I was being selfish and self-centered but what can I do. She's still my bestfriend and I don't want it any other way. I sent her tons and tons of message and calls but she ignored it. I understand her though.

When I first saw her after her break, I really wanted to run into her arms and hug her but I didn't. The first time our eyes met that day, I wanted to ask her everything I've been meaning to ask for the last 2 months but decided against it.

When she approached me for the first time after her confession, I thought that my heart is about to burst. She smiled at me, it's as if everything has been lifted off my chest. When she reassured me and told me to stop blaming myself despite the pain that I induced her, I was not able to hold back my tears any longer. I started sobbing, my tears no longer in my control. When she told me how much she wanted me to be happy, that my happiness is her priority, I wonder how in the world did I deserve someone as perfect and sincere as her. That day, I decided to be selfish. I knew she was still on the process of moving on but I wanted her, to feel her, to hug her and be as close as possible to her. I guess I was still scared.

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Author's Note:

I decided to italicized this because this all happened in the past with Irene's POV of course. And I love reading your comments. It motivates me to update everyday. Thanks for appreciatinv my work. I hope you would enjoy reading this chapter 😉