“Here. Take it.” There were a billion thoughts running in my head as I gave Sehun the paper holding the address to Joohyun’s school and house.

He looked at the paper warily, looking back and forth at me and the paper. “What’s this for?” he asked the question I dreaded to hear.

“Joohyun’s address,” I said. “Yixing helped me get it.”

“But—“

“I know you still love her,” I cut him off, trying to end my misery as quickly as I could. “Keep it before you regret not doing so. You can visit her on our third day in Seoul. Plus, make sure to do your best to get her back.” I smiled, convincing him.

He stared at me with lips slightly parted, unable to utter a sentence. I took it as an opportunity to put in his palm the paper before turning around and saying, “it’s up to you what you’d want to do with that address.”

A part of me honestly didn’t want to know what he’d want to do now that he held such valuable information, yet a part of me was also curious.

Hopefully, this time he would do the right thing.

-

The buses parked outside the school, ready to shelter three hundred and thiry-three students from freshmen to senior year. It was finally the day of the school trip. Everyone was excited, of course, except for me. They were buzzing with happiness and chatter, bags on their shoulders, some brought trollies as expected—the primadonnas did, some were just idly waiting to get their turn to pick a seat on the bus, some were jumping in excitement, while some planned ahead of their own after-tour activities.

People pass and greet me as I sat on the wooden bench with Yeri and Seol unnie. The boys were nearby, helping the others get their bags arranged in the baggege compartment of the bus. It was just five-thirty in the morning yet people had so much energy that it was dampening my mood. How could they be this excited?

I yawned, waving at a classmate—that asked me where the Namsan Tower was on her map of Seoul—who just walked, no, skipped away. She was with friends. They were excitedly pointing at the palaces we’d go to in the city. I scrunched up my nose, still feeling extremely sleepy since I woke up at three in the morning, cramming as I did last minute packing. Five more people who I didn’t recognize but knew me asked something and I politely answered them with any queries they had of Seoul. They knew I was from there and I didn’t find it bad to tell what I know. Just that, I could only do so much to an extent before I get pissed. After all, the map was there for a purpose.

“You look like you’re PMS-ing today, Ms. Popular,” Seol unnie commented, grinning slyly at me. I sighed, allowing her when she laid her head on my back and shouldered some of her weight as she rested. “Shouldn’t you be happy like the rest? We’re going to Seoul!”

“I don’t know,” I muttered sheepishly, scrunching up my nose at the idea.

She then clapped her hands, her face lighting up with an idea. “Oh, right. I think Luhan told me you were from Seoul. You moved there to here?” she asked. I felt a little worried how much Luhan told her, but seeing how comfortable she was with asking, he must have only told her general information about me.

“I moved with my mom after her divorce with my father.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice softening. “Sorry to hear that. Luhan didn’t tell me anything about that…”

I smiled, shaking my head. “It’s okay. As time goes by you’ll hear more things about me from the students. I’m pretty popular because Sehun’s my cousin.”

“Right.” She laughed.

“How are you and Luhan?” I heard her feign a cough and suddenly she was sitting upright again, fully awake, cheeks a deep shade of red. Her fingers traced the bracelet on her right wrist; it was the same one I told Luhan to give to her.

“About that,” she said, turning her gaze at me, a thoughful smile on her lips. “I haven’t gotten the chance before, but I want to thank you for what you did.

I wouldn’t hear Luhan confess to me that day if it wasn’t for you. He didn’t want to admit it but I guess it just slipped off his mind and mumbled something about you being at fault for it.”

I laughed, crinkling my eyes at the thought of Luhan being reluctant to admit I actually put some sense to him that day and at the thought of them finally being together. Two happy souls making a great couple. Finally. I could rest my case about them and feel sort of relieved. And the fact that Luhan had gotten out of his cowardly phase was inspiring. Although, I wasn’t sure if I could do the thing he did one day.

“I did nothing much. I just made him realize something, but he did all the work. Did he already ask you to be his girlfriend?” She nodded enthusiastically as an answer.

Yeri smiled beside her. “Congratulations, unnie,” she said softly, shyly.

“Thank you, Yeri.” Seol unnie ruffled her hair affectionately. “Hopefully, you guys can have your happy ever afters too,” she said, wrapping her arms around our shoulders. Yeri couldn’t help but profusely blush.

I just shrugged. “I honestly am not thinking of it much.” Liar. “Yeri could do that for me in my behalf.” Yeri gasped, turning a deeper shade of red.

“I don’t think…“ I eyed her playfully, making her helplessly trail off in embarrassment. I burst out laughing. Yeri was just so shy and so cute at the same time.

Seol unnie nudged me, saying, “A pretty girl like you? What about Jongin? The boy’s head over heels for you, you know. Just look at him stare at you from the distance.” Then she continued, trying to placate Yeri’s blushing figure, “Yeri you’re a charmer. You’ll just have to go out there and be more expressive. Anyway, do you like someone?” Yeri only blushed harder and if you would look at her closer you’d think she was about to pass out. I internally laughed, preventing myself from making fun of her even more.

Then as if only realizing the weight of Seol unnie’s words I widened my eyes, shifting my gaze to Jongin’s direction. When we met eyes, he instantly grinned, waving at me. I hesitantly lifted my hand to do the same, tentatively smiling.

There was an awkward moment between us until we just found ourselves laughing at the weird, little interaction when Sehun came into the picture and roughly pushed a huge backpack towards him. Jongin almost didn’t catch it, his face morphing to that of wonder as Sehun left him with the bag, not a word coming from the latter. When his eyes shifted to me again, he smiled and followed the others in getting the bags in the compartment.

“Sehun’s such a damper,” Seol unnie said, catching my attention. “He could have just carried the bag to the compartment but ruined your moment with Jongin.”

I shook my head, laughing at her. “Sehun’s always like that. I’m sure it wasn’t his intention.”

“Sehun looks pissed to me, though,” Yeri commented, trying to join the conversation as she fiddled with the loose thread on the hem of her sweater. “He normally has a blank face, but if he acts that way I think something has dampened his mood.”

“Oooooh,” Seol unnie and I said in unison, clapping our hands at Yeri. It was the first time in a while that she said something longer than five words. We were very impressed.

“You seem to know a lot about Sehun,” Seol unnie said teasingly, nudging her side. Yeri started blushing again like a tomato. She seemed the type of person to get flustered easily that Seol unnie was taunting her. “Tell us, do you perhaps like him?!”

Yeri shook her head vehemently, widening her eyes at me as if communicating ‘I swear I don’t’. “I I-just—“ She was almost in tears, having a hard time explaining herself, which she wasn’t used to.

Seol unnie patted her back, saying, “I’m just kidding.”

Yeri released a huge sigh of relief.

Sometimes she was too innocent that it was already to a fault, borderlining gullible, but that was Yeri’s charm. Her untainted innocence.

-

At the distance, our homeroom teacher called for us to line up and get inside the bus. I reluctantly got up from my seat and towed behind an excited Seol unnie and Yeri who couldn’t contain her happiness either. They looked so positively in love with the idea of travelling to Seoul that I tried my best not to act like a party pooper. I just didn’t think it was right to ruin the trip this way. They deserved to have fun like the rest.

To make myself even more convinced and well-behaved, I just repeated mom’s last words in my head and sighed, ‘Create new, happy and lasting memories from now on.’ I knew it would take more than that to pacify me, but I was willing to take some effort and try seeing this trip as something else than a torture.

“See you guys later,” Seol unnie waved goodbye and ran towards Luhan who was waiting for her at the distance.

Luhan’s eyes briefly landed at me, his lips set to a frown when he saw the triumphant smile on my face as I tauntingly alternated my gaze at him and Seol unnie knowingly. He stuck his tongue out in retaliation and only stopped when his girlfriend finally reached him. Seol unnie looked back at me and Luhan questioningly, but I only grinned, shaking my head.

Yeri nudged my shoulder, softly telling me it was already my turn to climb the bus. I nodded, passing my homeroom teacher who was doing a roll call.

“Han Mijoo,” Our homeroom teacher said, ticking off my name on the list when she noticed me.

I held onto the straps of my backpack as I sauntered in, looking for a seat by the window. Some friendly faces of my classmates greeted me, some only stared, some readily glared. I passed by Lisa’s seat and she watched me with spite, nonetheless. Her companion, Rose—also one of the cheerleaders, crossed her arms over her chest and looked me up and down, running her eyes on what little asset I had. I cringed. Being scrutinized like I was some piece of meat they were trying to devour gave me chills. I didn’t want to be their breakfast so early in the morning that I hurried on my phase and sat at the far back, by the window.

I was more of a window person that I scooted as close I could to the window, my eyes travelling at the view outside with the other buses being filled with students. They were all excited. All happy. And here I was sulking over the happiness they had. I sighed. I just wished for the trip to easily come to an end. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be. The motivation to have some fun hadn’t obviously reached me enough, yet.

The seat beside me sunk. The spot was a two-seater. But I didn’t have any problems, thinking that it was Yeri that took the spot next to me. I grinned, turning her way when suddenly I was greeted by an unexpected face that wasn’t her. A frown crossed my lips.

“Sehun?” I furrowed my eyebrows at him, scrutinizing why he decided to sit beside me.

He placed his huge backpack on the floor of the bus and looked at me, raising an eyebrow. “What? Not happy to be sitting with me?” he said, smirking.

I bit my lip, trying to spot Yeri in the bus, until I realized she was just on the seat across ours with Jongdae beside her. They both waved at me. I smiled. Turning my attention back to Sehun, I shook my head meekly and exhaled softly.

“I just didn’t think you’d choose to sit with me.” I told him the truth.

A snort came out of him as if he was amused of my answer. “What you don’t know is that I’d choose you at any day,” he said, his expression turning serious as he searched my eyes, waiting for any reaction.

I gulped, trying my best to suppress the blush fighting its way to come out of my cheeks. I nodded robotically, turning back my gaze to the window. I stayed in that position until the bus started on the road. Sehun’s warmth rubbed against me as our shoulders touched, but not a word was exchanged between us, not even against the various chatters filling the bus. I was still replaying in my head what he said when I felt something soft tickle my right cheek. Soon enough a weight rested on my shoulder. I cocked my head into Sehun’s direction and found a tuff of jet black hair on my shoulder and an angelic face breathing on my neck.

He fell asleep.

I could feel myself turning red at the closeness of his face to mine and the warm breath he was releasing on my neck—it was tickling me and making me shiver at the same time, making the butterflies in my stomach punch at the walls.

Too close, I thought.

But as if he was taunting me, Sehun moved in his sleep and buried his nose even closer to my neck as if he was inhaling me. I went rigid at the contact of our skins. Now, even his arm was touching mine.

Help.

I internally screamed for help, but of course no one would know how much I was struggling to get away in the position I was in next to this boy. Yet, I couldn’t shake him off me. I wasn’t courageous enough to deprive him of a shoulder to rest on. It was just too cruel. Who knew if he was just so tired he didn’t notice? My eyes softened at him with that thought. Maybe I shouldn’t just stare at him and calm myself. Maybe I should just let him off, for now.

The mind battle ended in my head; my conscience—and perhaps my affection for him—winning over my logical self. I couldn’t stop giving something away to him. He owned me even without saying.

And for seven more hours we stayed in the position. Later, in the middle of our journey, I found myself leaning against him, my head on his as I closed my eyes.

Guess, sitting next to Sehun wasn’t as bad as I thought

-

At one in the afternoon, we arrived at our destination. The bus stopped in front of the humble hotel which we would be staying at. It wasn’t like some of the five star hotels I used to marvel in Seoul, but the hotel was lavish enough to be stared at by country bumpkins with fireworks in their eyes.

“The rooms look amazing!” Someone chirps as they slipped inside, room to room.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself. If they only knew. This was yet the best. Just enough for our school budget to cover, but not of poor taste. At least, the school made sure we were comfortable during the trip. It wasn’t low-budgeted despite us coming from the province and all.

“Go rest for a while in your assigned rooms,” the discipline head, Mrs. Im scolded as she shooed students inside rooms with a pointer stick. “And remember, nobody from the opposite gender can stay in one room. If we catch you guys swapping rooms, you’ll be properly dealt with. There are surveillance cameras around the hotel so we will know if someone breaks this simple rule. We’ll check the footages if we must so better be on your toes.”

She was a distance away, before passing our room, that Yeri and I said our short goodbyes to the boys who were assigned to the rooms opposite ours. There were two beds in each rooms so we decided to share. Sehun and Jongin were in one room which was just across from ours. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were on the room to their right. Joonmyeon and Jongdae were assigned to the room to their left. The juniors and seniors were in the floors above us.

Once the door was shut, Yeri and I flopped on our respective beds, looking at the white ceiling. I smiled, feeling the soft mattress under me. “I feel like sleeping all day,” I told her, turning her way.

She smiled, nodding. “It would have been nice, but I think it’ll be more fun outside.” She casted her gaze at the ceiling to floor glass window across the room and I saw the hint of a grin on her face as the sun’s rays touched her skin.

“You’re that happy to be here, huh,” I commented and saw her grin grew wider.

“Everyone from school always has this dream of coming to Seoul. I don’t know,” She shrugged. “It’s just that maybe we fancy the modernness of this city. We think it’s the most beautiful. Not comparable to where we grew up in. I mean…” she trailed off, furrowing her eyebrow as if in contemplation.

“It’s not that I don’t think our town is beautiful. It is. But you know the saying? Moths will always be attr