The table was quiet, only the sizzles of meat being grilled in the middle was heard, plus the noise around us. Seol sunbaenim was the only one who was cooking the meat while the three of us remained, silent, suddenly not in the mood.

“You three look like you’re about to attend a funeral,” she muttered, eyeing us, hands on the tongs that she was using to turn the meat upside down over the fire.

The food looked deliciously mouth-watering, but my appetite had long gone. I looked down, feeling even more miserable at the fact she was speaking of.

Luhan was the first to break the silence, heaving a deep sigh. “That little —ouch! Why did you hit my head with the tong?!” he shouted, glaring at Seol sunbaenim who just hit him with the tong in her hand.

She smirked, saying, “watch your language Xiao Lu!” She pointed at the deer ears sticking out from his fluffy faded pink head. I was not able to stop the smile that momentarily crept up my lips.

Looking sheepish, Luhan scowled at her, shielding his head with both his hands from any more of her future assaults. “Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean I can’t hit you with the tong too!”

“Really? Then I dare you to!”

Luhan was about to retaliate, but instead he stopped himself from taking out his frustration at Seol sunbae and crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. “No thanks. You’re not the one I am really annoyed at. That Lisa girl or something is just infuriating me,” he said, glaring at Lisa’s direction.

“Is that girl really who replaced Joohyun?” he continued, glaring at Sehun who was busy holding the ice cold can of beer in his clasp.

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed at the mention of Joohyun, that I was worried. I was afraid that he’d take what Luhan was saying to heart and that they’d fight again. But—to my utter surprise—the creases on his forehead slowly loosened later and he was not frowning anymore at the thought of his ex-girlfriend.

I watched with baited breathing as he gulped down a sip from his can, his face full with contemplation as words teased the tip of his tongue. He seemed as if he wanted to tell something, but he refused to open his mouth.

Luhan, though, was a persitent one, asking him one more time. “Is she really your girlfriend?”

I was already biting my lip, fearing what was to come that I was restless in my seat, hoping to find an excuse before Sehun said the answer to the very question I had in mind. Why I didn’t want to hear what he was to say?

“Uhm,” I mumbled, grabbing all their attention. “I need to go to the rest—“

“She isn’t,” Sehun blurted out, interrupting me.

My eyes widened, the restroom long forgotten. I didn’t know how to feel at that moment that all I did was stare at Sehun with confusion. Was that a joke? Was he lying to us? Suddenly I was feeling lightheaded, as if I had nothing to support my body as I took in what he said.

Luhan’s mocking laughter was what brought me back to earth. “But it doesn’t seem like that to her.” He shook his head, disagreeing at Sehun. “It looks like you need to make that clear to her, you know. Before she gets the wrong picture and she’d seduce you completely. You know, girls.” Luhan shrugged noncomittaly as if saying Sehun should know. “They take what they can. I’m sure—“ He gave me a look and continued while trailing his mysterious gaze back to Sehun, all the while leaving me utterly bemused. “You don’t want to be misunderstood by the person you like.

I mean, with the floor having ears and eyes. She may or may not hear about you from others and you can’t expect her not to feel disappointed if she heard anything stupid, little cousin.”

I couldn’t help but agree with Luhan at that moment. Although, I knew, Sehun might still love Joohyun, I didn’t want her to misunderstand Sehun if she heard any news about him from her acquaintances here. Somehow, I didn’t want her to think bad things about him. If he truly still loved her, he would do the right thing.

“I know what you mean, hyung,” Sehun said, suddenly eyes downcast, him, biting his lips. It was a surprise seeing that guilty face on him after just being lectured on my Luhan that I widened my eyes. Normally, he’d retaliate. “You can stop rubbing it in. I know it.”

Luhan chuckled.

Seol couldn’t help but gasp, wagging a finger alternately at the two of them, her eyes wide. “You two finally talked properly! And you called Luhan, hyung! This means you two already made up, right?” her voice was filled with mirth, with hope.

I was slowly finding it in myself to also realize this that a smile crept on my face again as the two cousins exchanged subtle glances, both scowling at each other.

“What can I say?” Luhan shrugged, sighing. “We’re not one either to dwell on such a petty fight. It was just a small misunderstanding,” he said, smiling at Sehun, who—for the first time, smiled back at someone genuinely and openly after five grueling months.

My heart had never been so happy that I took a mental image of Sehun’s smile in my head, vowing not to forget it.

-

My trip to the loo finally happened. Of course, Seol sunbaenim accompanied me, her mood skyrocketing at the moment. She was all smiles as she told me to stop calling her ‘sunbaenim’ and instead permitted me to address her as ‘unnie’. The thought of it, calling her like that, made butterflies appear in my stomach. I didn’t know. Maybe because she thought we were close enough than a stranger that I was allowed to call her ‘unnie’. Having it roll over my tongue over and over was foreign, but it made me feel good inside.

At least, she didn’t feel unfortunate to have met me despite today.

She was still inside one of the cubicles when the door to the restroom opened again, an overly ecstatic Lisa appearing as she noticed me washing my hands by the sink.

“We’re bumping into each other more often, recently,” she said, smiling, opening the tap next to mine.

I smiled a little, trying to act civilly. “Indeed,” was my brief reply. I avoided making eye contact with her after that, as much as possible.

“You’re a quiet one, aren’t you? Just like Sehun,” she said, her voice lacing with pride as she drawled out what she knew about him.

I tried my best not to look irked at the way she was saying things—as if she knew him so much more than I did. “I am,” I said. “But Sehun’s not that normally quiet.” I reminded myself that Sehun used to be that overprotective and nagging boy I came to know.

She giggled, trace of mischief in her eyes. I hated the way she looked. It was as if she knew a secret about him that she and she only knew.

“You’re right. He’s especially vocal whenever we’re making out.”

I stopped at washing my hands, my stomach plummeting to the ground at the idea she was projecting. Why did she have to say it and make me imagine whatever they were doing together when they hang out? I didn’t need to know it. I already had enough of that crap at school.

She giggled, saying an innocent ‘oops’ as if she didn’t mean for those words to slip out of her filthy mouth and in an attempt to sooth me, she said, “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t take you for a conservative.” The way she said it was mocking—as if it was a bad thing that I was a consevative—that I wanted to pull at her hair.

Then she continued with a giggle, “I thought it was okay to have that kind of slip of tongue since you’re his cousin and all. You must have had heard all that kind of crap from him and his friends, you know. Because they are pretty vocal about their affairs with girls to each other, as far as I know. Like those little trips to the girls’ bathroom, the janitors closet or the abandoned classrooms. You know, stuff.” She shrugged noncommittally, as if it was no big deal.

I wanted to glare at her but stopped myself. The least I wanted to happen now was to look like the bad guy. That as I shook my hands to dry them from the wetness of the water on my skin, I just curtly smiled at her, turning off the tap.

I was ready to flee even if Seol unnie was still there.

“It’s not the first time I’ve heard of them,” I breathed out, plastering a grin on my face that wanted to vanish and turn into a scowl. “I am well aware of his affairs.”

It was true. Sehun didn’t have to tell me. I could easily find out all about them through hearsays, through the little gossips, through the rumors. Even if they were nothing but passed on information, people wouldn’t talk if there was not some truth to those things. I’d long readied myself from them and still accepted who he had become.

Why? I asked my foolish self, knowing fully well the answer.

“Oh,” was all she said, genuinely surprised. Then her face morphed into that of glee, as if an idea popped up in that little brain of hers. Suddenly she was holding both my arms with her hands, beaming at me. “I’m sure then you must know how much I like him. You must have seen how good we looked together. We have chemistry than the other girls he’d been with, don’t we?”

Her hands burned my skin, her words tattoing a searing kind of pain inside me. I wanted to pull my arm away but she had a strong grip on it, her face still beaming. I couldn’t answer. I didn’t want to say what she was forcing me to.

“Seriously, you’re so quiet!” She groaned, scrunching her nose, but then she continued, “But then I can’t hate you for that. I mean, I really want to get close. I want to get to know you and hang out with you, you know. I’m not that bad. Who knows if you can help me get closer to him—“

I didn’t know I could do it, but I managed to pull my arm away from her hold. She was just as shocked as I was when I did it, but I let the tension die down with a soft apology. She accepted it, nodding, though this time there was a faint mark of annoyance showing on her pretty face. She must have not expected nor liked what I did. No one rejects the popular girl, after all. I must have been a first.

But despite the churning inside my stomach, knowing that I must be asking for a death wish when I snapped, I felt a little proud about myself that I had the courage to protest.

“I’m sorry, Lisa,” I said to her, “I know you have good intentions with wanting to being friends with me, but then I think you should clear things up with Sehun first before jumping to conclusions.” Her face scrunched up in confusion as I say those words slowly, for her to understand. “Because I don’t want to give you false hope if Sehun said himself that you’re not his girlfriend.”

Ah, I never felt so good in saying something like that than this. Even if I might have actually told her that to ask her to please back off. Even if it might get me in trouble. Even if I hadn’t thought of things thoroughly.

“What?” she asked, her face contorting to that of disappointment and anger as the meaning of my words dawned upon her. “He said that?” I didn’t answer her.

Pregnant silence consumed us as she waited for met to reply. A reply that wouldn’t come out of my mouth any time soon. I was not going to answer her. She should get the picture that I was trying to let her see.

“He’s not still in love with that Joohyun girl, isn’t he?” she asked, gulping slowly, frantic tears threatening to come out of her eyes.

I was a little shocked at first that she knew the story about Joohyun, but then again their break up was a famous one just like the story of how they became a couple. I was sure she must have heard of it one way or another through the grapevine of gossip.

“I’m not someone to know the answer. I am sorry,” I said, refusing to tell her. Not wanting to pry more on Sehun’s personal feelings since it was something I had not the chance to tap on yet again.

“You’re kidding me, right,” she said, letting out a dry laugh. “He likes me a lot. I know it. You’re just lying to me. This is just a joke. I know how much he needs me,” she drawled, trying to make herself believe than making me.

I shook my head solemnly, starting to feel pity towards her. “I wish I am,” I mumbled, biting my lip as I wondered how long Seol unnie was going to stay inside the cubicle. Unnie can we come out already?

“You’re honestly starting to get on my nerves,” she said, voice laced with venom that I shivered. She laughed hysterically and I frantically looked at her, not sure what to do. “I don’t need to hear your bull. If you’re just probably jealous of me getting closer to him than you are, stop spitting those crap!” she shouted, backing me up the counter until I felt the coldness of the marble seep through the material of my shirt, sending more shivers on my spine.

“Do you think I am lying?” I asked in a whisper, seeking her eyes that were filled with hatred for me. “Why would I?”

“Shut it! You’ll shut your mouth if you don’t want me to make your life miserable,” she snapped, stopping me, her eyes domineering.

I huffed out, starting to feel annoyed but fearful of what this girl could do. Indeed, Luhan was right; Lisa was a . Even if I was nervous of what she could do, I was slightly braved by the anger that was starting to build up in me, again, because the was pushing me to my limit.

“You’re exhausting me,” I said turning my head to the side, scoffing. Again, it was the first time I felt arrogant towards another without thinking too much, without making any much sense. “I want to be the bigger person and not fight an unreasonable person like you are that I will be leaving now. If you wish to know the truth, then just ask Sehun.”

I side-stepped cautiously, watching her fists shake in rage on her sides. I gulped, noticing how her jaw clenched and trembled. Surely, escaping her was not that easy, because as I was about to run for the door, she pulled on my hair making me hiss in pain. Her grip was so strong I spun around, facing her again reluctantly, the roots of my scalp still fresh from the stinging sensation.

“Let go!” I cried, trying to pull her hand off me.

“No! You can’t just leave unscathed after what you said. After making a fool out of me! How dare you!”

I saw it coming; her other hand raised, ready to slap me across the face that I squeezed my eyes shut. I was prepared to take the blow, knowing it would be too late to duck or stop her hand from hurting me.

“I’m sorry for taking so long, Mijoo-ah! Are you ready to go back there?!” I thought I was dreaming when I heard Seol unnie’s frantic voice. My eyes instantly opened and at the moment of Lisa’s confusion, I pulled away from her vile grip that had loosened and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw unnie’s face.

I was saved.

Seol unnie’s face was filled with worry as she stared at my probably disheveled self, but I shook my head assuring her I was fine. Her face was washed away with relief at my assurance. Then she turned to face Lisa—who looked like a deer caught in the headlights—with a scowl on her face, knowing fully well everything that transpired. I was sure she heard everything, too. I just didn’t know why she hid for so long inside the cubicle; but perhaps out of fear, Lisa was a after all.

“What do you think you’re doing to her Lisa-ssi?” she scolded, hiding me behind her. She was so thin and frail I hardly believed she could act so fierce in front of others that wasn’t Luhan.

Lisa’s confused face morphed back to a scowl as she scoffed at the two of us. “Well, guess we were just playing games,” she said, gritting her teeth as she threw deathly glares at me. “Perhaps to know each other better. But Mijoo’s too boring for me. I better find someone more interesting.”

Lisa glared at me as she shoved past me, making sure to bump her shoulder harshly against mine, almost getting me off balance. Gladly, Seol unnie was beside me, steadying me back to my feet. She was in the middle of checking me for any scratches or wounds when I thought it was better to make sure Lisa stopped doing more trouble than she already did and followed after her.

As expected, as soon as we were out of the restroom, Lisa was stomping her way to Sehun, ready to confront him, wanting to prove me wrong.

“Sehun can we talk?” she insisted, giving me a sharp glare when she noticed I’d come after her. “I need to tell you something. I’m sure you’ll definitely want to hear it,” she continued, taunting me, her smug face was on—as if she was sure Sehun would take her side if she tattled about whatever she thought I lied about.

Luhan was the first to notice me, jumping out of his seat when he saw me—probably disheveled, the worst looking date he ever had. “You just came out of the restroom and suddenly you look like you just got your hair pulled on,” he mused, about to laugh in amusement, but then he saw the frown on my face as I sheepishly tried to fix my hair and realized I was not up for another joke. “Don’t tell me,” he took a sharp intake of breath, glaring briefly at Lisa’s direction. “She didn’t pull on your hair, right?” he grumbled, pointing an accusing finger at Lisa. He was too loud that he even caught Sehun and the others’ attention.

“Luhan,” I chided, pulling down his arm, but he didn’t budge.

“What did she—“

He was interrupted by a sobbing Lisa. “Sehun,” she feigned a cry as she clutched onto Sehun’s black shirt. Luhan couldn’t help but scoff at her. “you must hear me out. Tha-that cousin of yours is trying to split us apart. She was telling me things,” she trailed of, pretending to be pitiful and confused. I could feel Sehun’s eyes on me but I refused to look back, afraid how he’d react. “She told me that—that you—you said that I’m not your girlfriend! But Sehun, she’s wrong, isn’t she?! She’s lying! We’ve been together for the longest time. You and I—“

But then her feigned cries—that somewhat sounded like totally pathetic pleas to save face—were cut off by Sehun’s deep, sharp voice. “Stop it, Lisa. I don’t want to hear it.”

I was so astounded that I snapped my gaze at his direction, eyes widening as I saw him brush away Lisa’s hands from its vile clutch on his shirt forcefully. He was red in anger that I thought he was barely holding on to what little sanity he had left in him.

“Stop the pitiful act,” his voice was laced with venom, eyes blazing with loathing for her—which I didn’t understand. What was that look in his eyes? “We were never a thing. You’re not my girlfriend. Not then, not now or ever.” He was sure gritting his teeth, trying to suppress his temper that was seemingly rising as he looked at the crying mess that was Lisa.

But then he raised his eyes, meeting mine, and ever so slowly I thought I saw his gaze soften at me, baffling me.

“You can’t do this to me. You’re lying, Sehun.” Lisa cried, clawing at Sehun’s arm, trying to hold him, but he dodged her hands, not letting her hold him. “I’m not listening to you!”

Everyone’s eyes were on us inside the restaurant once Lisa’s scream reached them. Little chatters started, glares were sent as the commotion brought inconvenience to the meals that were supposedly shared in happiness. The cook by the kitchen even peeked from the little window on the wall across and the female cashier behind the register crained her neck at our direction with interest, perking up at the sudden drama that must have been something new to h