I had a really good dream last night.

A dream that had him in it. A dream where we were fine again and it was as if we skipped the time when he had that glowering face at me. I swear. It seemed so vivid I even felt like the kiss he placed on my temple was real. That a smile spread across my face at the memory of it.

It felt so vivid I couldn’t help but softly squeal, the little noise I was making suddenly making me more conscious of myself. I bolted up in shock, worry crossing my face as I slapped a hand over my mouth. I thought I was going to pale at my thoughtless act, realizing I might have woken up the rock under me.

But then, I froze as I looked down below me—thinking I must have crushed Sehun under me if I suddenly bolted up—for the surface beneath felt all too soft, the creases on the mattress pressing gently under my palms, the bed empty. I found myself gazing around my room, looking for any signs of Sehun. How the hell did I get to my room?

I paled, getting into a conclusion. It was either Sehun found out I had slept with him in the hallway and had to carry me back to my room or…everything was just part of the dream. My dumb self panicked and out of nowhere found myself jumping off the bed and rushing into the hallway, flinging the door open without care whether I made too much noise. I was a crazy mess, with bed hair all over my face as I panted, eyes swimming in at the empty hallway. My shoulders lowered and I couldn’t help but slump down to the floor in disappointment.

He was gone. His pillow was gone. His blanket was gone.

It was all just a dream.

-

I walked down the stairs in a hurry, all dressed up for school, mood still gloomy from this morning. I didn’t know why it was such a big deal to me that I didn’t find myself in the hallway, sleeping beside Sehun or crushing him below my weight. I guess, I would have been more okay waking up to his scowling face than this—not being sure whether everything that happened last night was real or not. My shoes sounded really heavy since I was dragging my feet on the wooden floorboard to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of us before he woke up.

However, as soon as I entered the kitchen, my feet came to an abrupt halt upon seeing someone standing in front of the toaster, the smell of buttered bread being heated inside it wafting to my nose. His back was still to me that I quickly retreated behind the wall to the entrance of the kitchen before he could notice me. I gulped, wondering what the hell was wrong with today. Why did I wake up in bed without knowing how I did so and why was Sehun already awake and doing toasts when he shouldn’t have been. I should have done that for him.

I curled my fists on my sides, ignoring the grumbling of my stomach, and inhaling deeply to wash away the unnerving feeling pooling inside me. I thought I was going to have a stomach flu or something that would get me an excuse not to face him (that was better than a hungry stomach, oh God), but before he could find me standing there like an idiot, I scrambled out of the house stealthily and locked the gate behind me.

Relief only filled me as I felt fresh air greeting me that was mixed with the smell of rain which must have just stopped recently. Puddles of water were still on the street and I watched in amazement as a bit of fog blurred the houses around me.

Isn’t it nice to feel so close with nature? It was really soothing, though it was just a tiny bit of nature I was sensing.

“Good morning,” A familiar voice greeted. Turning my head to the side, I saw Jongin walking beside me. A smile instantly came to my lips, mimicking his.

“Good morning,” I greeted back. “You look in a really good mood. What good happened that you are?”

He chuckled, smiling down to himself. He shook his head, saying. “Nothing much. It’s just nice to see you again early in the morning.”

I blushed, not being able to deny the embarrassment every time he said sweet things. They always made my heart flutter and swayed.

Noticing my reaction, he flung his arm around my shoulders and said, trying to comfort me, “It’s true. I hope being this kind of honest doesn’t bother you.” Oh, if you only know.

I let out a laugh and shook my head. “Now that you said it, I do feel—“

My words got cut off by a force abruptly pulling Jongin and I away from each other and we watched stunned as Sehun continued walking coolly in front of us as if he didn’t just purposely pushed us out of his way.

“Was he jealous?” Jongin asked out of the blue while I was still in the middle of a trance.

I turned my gaze at him with a hopeless smile. “There is no way. You must be deluding your mind. Com’on, we better get to school or we’ll be late,” I urged.

“But why did he look like he was already in a bad mood so early…” Jongin was still pressing on the subject, and though I knew he was most likely talking to himself and not inquiring with me I felt a little exasperated.

“It was probably because he saw my awful face in the morning.”

He scrunched up his face as if what I said offended him. Him. Not myself. “Why do you say that. You’re pretty.”

“Am not. That can’t win me easily,” I told him, leaving him behind as I tried to hide my blushing cheeks away from him.

“Wait for me!”

“Don’t be too slow!”

“Slow down, will you?”

“No!”

If I thought yesterday at the restaurant was already pretty eventful, I thought wrong. Today was probably pretty much worse because as soon as I stepped into the locker area right away I saw the familiar seniors from yesterday with the face that mostly stood out to me. Sehun.

Sehun was hanging out with them and some other freshmen that seemed to be new additions to their group. Not to mention, Lisa was with them, hanging off Sehun’s arm as usual. The boy was too indifferent with her, but that didn’t matter because wherever she was it spiked up my annoyance. And I didn’t know why I easily get irked at her. She didn’t do anything wrong to me, did she?

Hurriedly, I opened my locker, grabbed random books for an excuse—just so no one would question me why I randomly popped up in front of my locker and left—and was about to leave when a familiar voice called. It was someone I already heard from yesterday.

Slowly and awkwardly, I turned around, clutching my books to my chest and gazed at the same senior who was speaking with Jongin before at the restaurant. I knew him by face and didn’t really know his name or any of his cliques’ names that I called him by ‘sunbaenim’ and bowed politely.

“You off to your classroom already?” I nodded to his question, wanting to finish the chitchat already. He raised his brow, smiling teasingly. “Jongin is not with you this time?” he asked.

I didn’t know what he was going at but I just shook my head. This time, though, I could feel the eyes beside him already on me, including Lisa’s and Sehun’s. I didn’t think I was going to be able to stand there being scrutinized that way that I tightened my hold around my books.

“You two should sometimes hang out with us,” he said, pulling me out of my daze. I looked back frantically, politely refusing, but he insisted. “Oh com’on, Jongin and I are in the same club. I’m sure he’ll cave in. It would also be nice if you go out somewhere too, away from your books,” he pointed at the books I was gripping.

I looked down, scrunching up my nose, feeling a flash of anger as he made fun of me that way. What was wrong with focusing on my studies instead of clubbing or smoking or drinking or the whatnots?!

“Hey, Sehun,” the sudden call to his name made me snap my eyes at Sehun. “I heard a pretty good story going around,” sunbaenim said, teasing him. Sehun cocked a brow, still not prying Lisa’s hands away. Sunbaenim’s lips slightly curved up as he said, “I discovered this a while back when I didn’t know who she is yet.” He pointed back at me with a thumb. I wanted to shrink at that time once I entered Sehun’s line of sight with a blank expression on his face. “But I heard this cutie is your cousin? The girls kept talking about approaching her to get to you.”

I widened my eyes, realizing the cousin thing was spreading again. I knew the people in my old school knew we were cousins, but after entering high school it hadn’t been the case mainly because a huge portion of the school were from other middle schools and it was not like I was still talk of the town after a year or so. The hype of knowing the city girl from the beginning died down once I settled in and students in high school wouldn’t know a thing or two about Sehun and I’s relationship unless they asked the old students, unless they heard from others.

“She?” My train of thoughts stopped as soon as I heard Sehun speak, his eyes on me, a snort coming out of his lips.

I felt smaller, seeing the way he sounded as if he was referring to someone not of importance—to someone so little and petty and close to a stranger, insignificant. Perhaps, I was.

Sunbaenim hooked an arm around me making me tense with his large built and heaviness. He was putting all of his weight on my shoulders but he must have not known unless I said so. I furrowed my eyebrows, about to look down, ready for the rejection. Maybe Sehun would say something close to me being extra baggage.

But then a part of me was still hopeful. Hopeful that he would say something else. That perhaps no matter how little he showed he cared, deep inside he still thought of me. Out of nowhere I got the courage to gaze again at him. This time, surprise filled me as I saw his jaw tensed, his hands curled to fists on his sides as if he was ready to snap someone’s neck. He looked angered, for some reason. I didn’t know. Maybe I was just seeing things, because as soon as our eyes met, his fiery ones quickly changed to that one of apathy. He managed to immediately lock away his feelings again.

A chuckle escaped his lips and finally he peeled Lisa’s hands away without any remorse. Right at that moment the bell rang and as if it was the perfect excuse not to answer the hanging question in the air, he said, “I think it’s time to go.”

No one stopped Sehun when he walked away going to our classroom and only our eyes followed him, so many questions obviously on the others’ faces. I shrugged sunbaenim’s arm and bid goodbye, wanting to flee the scene and go back to the classroom, as well.

As soon as I reached the classroom, the first thing I looked at—at the opposite end of the room—was Sehun. He was slumped on his desk, his face the twin of boredom while the rest and I stood up and greeted our homeroom teacher, Ms. Jung.

Lisa came in five minutes later, not minding the scolding from Ms. Jung when the lady saw her get in from the back door as if she was not interrupting anything.

“When will you not be late, Lisa?!”

But Lisa only shrugged while chewing on her bubble gum and taking the seat next to Sehun, which she purposely pulled towards him so that she could snake her arms around his (which he pried away in annoyance this time). She was flabbergasted, pissed even, seeing his indifferent reaction towards her obvious flirting, but Sehun didn’t even give her a glance, to which I softly laughed at.

“What are you laughing at?” Yeri asked beside me, making sure she wasn’t seen by Ms. Jung.

I grinned, shaking my head. “Nothing.”

She snorted, not buying it. “You’ve been watching Lisa too, aren’t you?”

I almost gasped, signaling for her to be quiet about it. I didn’t know Yeri was also watching and that she saw me doing the same thing. It made me feel so embarrassed and more conscious of my own actions now that I wondered whether this was the first time she caught me or had she been observing me? It made me feel nerve-racked, knowing that if I wasn’t careful around her, she would know about my feelings for Sehun and that would be the start of her doubt with my real relationship with him.

Yeri was a really innocent character, but I didn’t believe she was dumb. Nor was it a constant that she’d still forgive me if she knew I lied to her about one thing—Sehun and I—no matter how kind she was. She was the closest thing t