It wasn’t new to me that whenever something happened that almost everyone in school would know. But it was not like I was looking forward to it too. 

That when I sat down in class on Monday morning that I was taken aback when the girls jumped around me and asked me questions I should have foreseen coming.

“Jieun said yesterday that she saw you last weekend with a cute guy at the movies. Is he your boyfriend?” I was not particularly close to Ahn Soyeon, but she was asking me this like it was only natural for us to gossip about my life like this. How annoying.

Plus, Kang Jieun? She had the guts to come out talking about me too?

I sighed, pulling off my bag from my aching shoulders and set it down on the floor next to my desk. “I don’t know.” I said, trying to act nonchalant. “Jieun talks like she didn’t know how it was. I am not with a boyfriend. I don’t have one.”

“Eh?” Kim Joori leaned forward, showing her curious face. “So it was true that you went out with a boy?” she mused, grinning. “You’re saying that you went out with a boy—“

“It isn’t like that.”

“But what to do? Funny enough that Han Mijoo is blushing! Was it a date with a boy, then? Did you have a date with someone that is—“

“Definitely not,” I said out loud, making heads turn in our direction. “I was just hanging out with a friend from Seoul.”

“A boyfriend from Seoul!” Ahn Soyeon interjected, clapping her hands together as if she discovered a newfound theory. But they were just both twisting my words.

At that same moment, my eyes flickered to the back door and noticed three bodies standing, looking back at me with expressions I wasn’t sure of. Did they hear what we were talking about? I looked at Jongin, Joohyun and Sehun’s faces and thought that they might have heard. But then what? It was not like I didn’t tell Jongin about it. It wasn’t like this was a secret to Sehun too. He was there when mom asked me to hangout with Yixing. 

I was the one without a choice.

I went out that weekend to the movies with Yixing because mom asked me to. She said that Yixing and his family were going to stay a bit in town and asked me if I could keep him company. I didn’t even know what had gotten to her that she asked me to do it. But then she was just asking so nicely that I couldn’t oppose to it.

I did it on a whim. For some reason I was also upset that day. Joohyun was visiting and I knew she studied with Sehun the whole day in his room. That’s why it was all the more reason for me to hang out with Yixing. I didn’t want to hear about them hanging out that’s why I thought it was better for me not to be in the same place as them.

“He’s just a friend from the academy I attended in Seoul,” I said softly, pulling away from the conversation and going back to the book I was reading. I tuned them out as soon as I heard Jongin’s bag dropping on the  chair in front of me.

“Good morning,” he said, smiling at me.

“Yeah,” I said, not looking up.

“Did you sleep well?” From the back I could hear Sehun asking Joohyun while he was probably helping her put down her things. They were sickeningly sweet like that to each other. Was that really how it was like to be in a relationship? I scoffed inwardly to myself.

“How was the weekend?” Jongin asked, still not giving up even though he already saw me trying to occupy myself.

“It was fine.”

“Did you get home safely that day?” he asked again.

I nodded, still not looking up. “Yixing walked me home.”

“He did?” he asked as if he couldn’t believe.

At that time I looked up and lowered my book. “He isn’t that bad. He took me home like any good person probably would.”

It seemed like he didn’t expect that coming from me that he blinked twice, unsure of what to say next. “That’s good to hear then,” he said unsurely. “But how was the movie? Did he treat you? Did you buy popcorn and some soda? Did he—“

I narrowed my eyes at him accusingly. “We saw an action movie since Yixing’s not into measly romantic movies. We bought popcorn and soda with my money since I volunteered. Why?”

He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Nothing,” he mused, looking down like he was embarrassed. Then with a mutter he said, “I was just curious how it went… and jealous that he got to ask you to a movie even before I did.”

I felt my cheeks flush. “You’re an idiot, Jongin. It wasn’t even a date. I was accompanying an acquaintance so don’t you dare think of it as something else—“

“Then can we go out, too, as friends?” he asked with hopeful eyes flashing at me.

I feigned a scoff and shook my head. “Who said we can’t?” I said and then covered my face with my book, pretending to be reading again. But the truth was that I was very embarrassed with what I said that I knew I was totally blushing.

“Then should we go somewhere, just the two of us, later this afternoon?”

“Why?” I muttered, trying to hide the embarrassment in my voice.

“Just—“ he said, “Because you said we can go out as friends.”

“Ah,” I uttered, coming to realization. “I said that?”

“Yeah. Do you have amnesia to forget what you said so easily?” he teased, poking the cover of my book. “You just said it clearly a while ago. Didn’t you hear it too, Sehun-ah?”

My heart stopped when I heard his name. What would he say to that? I didn’t think I would be even anticipating for what he had to say.

“Did she say that?,” he paused, thinking, giving me a brief glance, only to agree to Jongin with nonchalance. “I guess she did.”

But it was not what he said that struck me. How he said it was what bugged me the most. How could he be that apathetic towards me? Did he completely change his heart? 

Did he not have any inkling of care about me?

I tried to forget how angry I was with him that morning.

But there were just memories that couldn’t be forgotten so easily, unlike those notes that could be easily erased or those files in a computer that could be deleted. 

How I wish I had that capability, too.
-

The afternoon after classes, I found myself in a completely flustering situation when I found Yixing standing by the gates of the school, waiting for me. He was comfortably dressed in a white button down shirt and some pants that outlined his long legs. He was totally the looker if you would ask me. I wouldn’t say he was not attractive, because basically everyone who saw him from school thought that he was handsome.

He waved at me in a friendly manner when he saw me walking out, along with friends. It was so sudden that the boys even asked me who he was. I quickly explained how he was an acquaintance and abandoned the party to go to Yixing.

“How did you find the school? You could have been lost,” I nagged, disappointed in him for appearing so suddenly without my permission.

But Yixing smiled, not at all offended. “I asked your mom. She said you would probably be surprised to see me.” He looked me in the eye, saying with the twitch of his lips, “And you really looked like you are.” He chuckled, as if everything was really a joke.

I huffed out, blowing at my fringe. “You could have at least told me about this.” Then I looked around, seeing the onlookers still curiously watching. “Now look at what position you brought me in. These people will surely talk and talk for days.”

I suddenly found his hand ruffling my hair that I almost flinched away. He seemed to notice this, but when I stilled, he still reached out and did what he wanted. He was being unusually affectionate that I felt quite small and embarrassed. He was doing all this in front of my friends, too.

“You can talk a lot, now,” he said. I looked at his face and recognized this kind of look that I last saw on Yoonji when we met after a long time. It was that look of realization. “You make a lot of cute expressions too.”

“Do you know that you are not like this before?”

I didn’t know how much Yixing knew me before that he could say this, but it made me think how I was like with him before. We were almost friends, but not that close. I was the one to make sure about the distance between us that it was a bit hard to grasp how we were hanging out now and he just seemed comfortable with me as if we didn’t have that distance. As if we didn’t lost contact, at all.

“What are you even saying?” I said, trying to divert the topic. “Do you know me that well that you can tell that?”

He had a thoughtful look as he purse his lips, as if he was contemplating, and then bobbed his head at me with an affirming look. “You don’t talk to me in the past too much, but being your partner made it easy for me to have the time to observe you. I know you better than you think I do,” he informed me proudly.

I snorted, shaking my head. 

Jongin suddenly appeared from behind, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I couldn’t help but stare at his long arm with contempt. What was he doing?

 
“Is this the boy you were with last weekend?” he asked, nodding at Yixing’s direction with a suspicious look on his face.

“Hm,” I said. “He’s Yixing.” I pointed at Yixing and then thumbed back at Jongin while looking at Yixing. “This is Jongin—“

“Her boyfriend,” Jongin bluntly said, leaning his head closer to mine.

I hissed at him, elbowing his stomach in retaliation. But he just burst out laughing even though in pain. “What are you even saying? That’s a total lie. Don’t listen to him!”

“What are you saying, baby?” Jongin said with his best cute voice while ruffling my hair. I almost puked at his failed attempt in trying to look adorable. 

We were still arguing when Yixing suddenly spoke again, this time almost making me throw a fit of coughs.

“But I thought your boyfriend was that guy from that dinner. Sehun? Did I get that information wrong then?” he asked, utterly clueless, peering at me and behind me at the person he was referring to.

I would have slapped his head for saying that and not reading the awkward mood he had put us in, but I couldn’t. He was purely asking and was innocent. T