I looked outside the window, letting my eyes swim in the quietness of the town. I had been so used to the loud and lively city that Seoul was that this town seemed a little bit foreign to me, hard to get used to. Everywhere I looked, there were trees and more trees. They were so green and thick that I could easily differentiate the amount of clean air and sunlight they received than from the trees in Seoul.

This town was rich with naturalness. Seoul was gifted with modernity I could not find in this slow town. This place had bad signal. I had already given up on surfing the internet way too long ago because of the nonexistent connection the town offered. Besides that, all the channels they had were nothing but for normal programming. I used to watch a lot of cable shows in our old house, but now I would never be able to soak in that kind of indulgence. I had kept my laptop away, as well, since it was so far not of any use. People here loved homework to be done with writing and I was stuck at writing five pages long essays for the sake of an A grade on my papers.

There were not so much I could do that I was becoming bored. Kids here were rather fond of the physical play mom shut me away from. They were so passionate about playing soccer on streets and open fields that they could surpass the reputable players in how much they practice just for fun. They shot hoops to refresh themselves after a week’s stress from homework. Some dance in the streets like their life depended on it. They had passion I most definitely didn’t have that I was beginning to feel out of place. People here were not as laid back as their town would let on. They were all something else I was not. Even mom, who lived in Seoul from the moment she was still a college student, was able to fit in perfectly. Like she hadn’t left the place at all.

Somehow I was beginning to miss the life I had in Seoul because of the things that surrounded me. I miss the food I could easily find three streets away from our old house. I miss the sleepovers at Yoonji’s room. I miss dad even if I knew he wouldn’t miss me that much. I miss my old school even if I didn’t know much people, even though I didn’t make a lot of friends. I miss the life that mom took away from me, that sometimes I wished to go back, live in a secret escapade in the loud city again for a while.

“So how’s the city bumpkin doing now?” Yoonji asked, her voice seemingly too distant from the phone receiver.

I shook my head, smiling bitterly. “Fine, but I miss Seoul.” I miss you.

Yoonji giggled, probably recognizing the frustration in my voice. “You say that, but you haven’t fled from your new home yet even after two months.” She was definitely right.

“That’s because mom would have searched for me even at the ends of earth just to bring me back here. She would not ever let me off her eyes. I even asked to spend summer vacation with you, but she pretended not to hear a thing.” I whined, and though she could still hear the annoyance from my incessant complaints, she still laughed louder I doubt if anyone was at the hallway at this time they would not hear.

She was still laughing when she pointed out, “well that’s because you told her you’re just going to live in your father’s house if you come.” Well said.

I sighed, resting my chin on my arm on the frame of the opened window. “Well, what can I do? I asked dad the other day if it was fine to barge in his new house and he sounded more than happy to have me. He said it was going to be our time to bond again and my time to get to know his fiancé.” I scrunched up my nose at the last part. I was not really looking forward to meeting the reason why my family broke apart.

I was not really happy with the fact that to dad it was like nothing of a divorce happened between him and mom, but I was willing to sacrifice a bit of my dignity to go back to Seoul. Besides, I knew that though most part of me hated dad too, secretly I still yearned for his love. I knew that I wanted to affirm my role as his daughter, too. I wanted to make sure that no one will ever replace me as his only little girl, though I knew that sooner or later, when he’d have his own little angels with that of his, I would not just be the only child. Of course, I would need to share my father to step-siblings.

“That sounds like a bad plan though. Don’t you think it’ll be weird to live in a house with the woman who ruined your family? Won’t you hate her more?” Exactly mom’s point. However, was I the kind of person to hate someone I hadn’t met yet?

I tried to evaluate myself, thinking of my virtues, and as expected I was not able to find the answer. Not unless I had the chance to observe this woman that caused my mom a lot of pains. Was I angry at her? Definitely. But do I hate her? I did not know. I was too young to weigh my feelings properly.

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

Silence hung in the air until I heard Sehun call me from behind with a tired voice. He finally came out of the dance room. I turned around and noticed Jongin following behind him with his practice bag’s strap on one shoulder.

“Is that a boy I hear?!” Yoonji was excited.

But I just remembered then how I forgot to tell her about how I was living with Sehun that I panicked. I was not ready to tell het about the crazy things I went through because of this boy, because I knew that she was going to tease me for being so close with him. She had not ever seen me with another boy in a room for even five minutes before, so what would her playful imagination think of me spending so much time with one now?

“Well—well, I think the bus driver is already calling me!”

“What? I—what do you—“

“Sorry, Yoonji! I need to get to the bus first before it leaves me behind!” Cutting the crap out, I abruptly ended the call while Yoonji was still blabbering on the other end. I was sure she would have called me again to ask why I just suddenly cut the call that I made sure to turn off my mobile phone.

Sehun was already frowning when I turned to him too late. “Sorry about that,” I told him sheepishly as I ran to their side.

Jongin was chuckling beside him, seeing that I was in trouble again. “Ya, Sehun, why do you always look upset whenever your cousin is around? You’re not usually this grumpy.” He placed a hand on Sehun’s shoulder and I almost gulped when I saw the murderous glint in his eyes when he looked down at that hand.

“I had been calling on you but you were so busy with that call. Who is it, anyway, that you have fallen deaf?” I pouted at the incessant mocking he only reserved for me.

Sehun had been extra nagging since we started hanging out during midnight at his kitchen. It seemed that he had built a sister complex with me that I was bound to be dragged around by him and be reprimanded by him all the time.

“It was my best friend on the phone.”

He raised a brow as if in suspicion I was not telling the whole truth. “Oh really?”

Jongin chuckled nervously as he patted his back. “Boy, you’re overreacting man. It was just a friend. Why are you so worked up about your cousin’s social life? Give her some space to breathe,” Jongin said, winking at me.

I grinned at him secretly, silently thanking him for backing me up. Jongin had been really reliable and close to me through the past days although I still felt kind of embarrassed hanging out with him. God. The girls swoon for his charms and I was afraid they’d think I was getting too close. Gladly, they still thought I was Sehun’s cousin that I hadn’t had any trouble at school yet.

Sehun scrunched up his nose and squinted at me. He surely didn’t like we were teaming up against him, but he would never admit that out loud. I just came to know his mannerisms that I was given the privilege to somehow guess his mood. And often, I was sure I was right.

“Com’on Hunnie, for sure everyone’s waiting at the soccer field.”

Hearing the nickname Jongin made for him, he slapped the latter’s chest and cursed under his breath as he walked away, hands deep in his pockets. Behind him, Jongin offered his hand to me and I looked at him with a small smile as I answered with a high five.

“Hey, wait for us Hunnie!” Jongin shouted, running behind Sehun. The grumpy boy answered with a groan that made me laugh. He was so nice to tease. It made up for all the times he bossed me around.

At the field, from afar, I could already spot Bae Joohyun cheering at the third level of the bleachers. She was still wearing her white tennis outfit—a blouse and a skirt that went up to her mid-thighs—as she jumped up and down excitedly, cheering for Baekhyun who was running around the field in his soccer jersey. Her figure was so emphasized by her clothes I couldn’t help but think why boys in the school drool all over the place because of her. She was so pretty and nice and she was our friend—their friend. I was not yet really that close to her. And I made sure to keep the distance I had with her because I was surely intimidated by the perfect girl. She was so pretty I’d rather not stand next to her.

We approached them. Joohyun was sitting with Joonmyeon and Chanyeol (who was cheering like a maniac) on the bleachers. We did this whenever Baekhyun had practice, if not, if he had an official game. There were also times we cheered for Chanyeol since he was in the basketball team. Other times, we invaded the student council room because of Vice President Kim Joonmyeon.

The bunch was excessively energetic that sometimes it was hard for me to keep up, but I always tried to manage to keep up because someone was watching me like a hawk.

In fact, I was not used to the extra activities after school since I was used to going home before after classes, but Sehun always dragged me around with him like I was a puppy in a tight leash and apparently he was my master. So I just went along with what he wanted to appease his mood. He was, after all, always grouchy around me, always nagging. He always found fault in everything I did that sometimes I wished to escape. He was an obsessive br