[Was listening to 3 days grace never too late while writing and Daughtry - Feels Like Tonight seems good too. The latter was what I used while reading]

I quickly covered my mouth but it was too late I already let out an involuntary gasp.Donghae quickly separated himself from Taeyeon and turned to the door, when he saw it was me, his eyes turned round and big.

“you ” he muttered

I couldn’t stand it any longer and I started to run away. Donghae followed me, calling my name, but I ignored him. Not wanting to talk to him, not wanting to even see his face. I sped up and continued to run until I reached G.A.L’s van.

“Oppa, drive.” I said

My manager was confused but he drove anyway. I looked behind and I saw Donghae chasing the car. I looked away and cried quietly.

==
I opened my eyes. It’s the first time that I woke up by myself ever since being a celebrity. My head ached from the lack of sleep and all the crying I did but compared to the pain in my heart, it was nothing.

I left a sticky note on the refrigerator and left to take an early morning walk. Since there weren’t too many people, I wasn’t disturbed. I looked around me and tried to enjoy the beautiful view but Dongae kept popping up in my mind.

I felt so confused. What was going on? Why was he with Taeyeon? Are they dating? Didn’t Taeyeon help Jessica earlier with Donghae? Were they cheating Jessica too?
There were so many questions and I felt so frustrated and angry that I didn’t have an answer to even one of them.

I finally stopped and looked up to see where I was. To my surprise, I found myself in SoShi’s dorm. At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I needed to talk to Jessica.
Luckily, like the last time I visited, Jessica was alone.

“Is this about Donghae?” Jessica asked, knowingly

I looked at her “How did you know unnie?”

Jessica smiled “Well it seems that whenever we get together, it’s because of Donghae one way or another.”

I smiled as I realized that she was right. Suddenly, Jessica had a serious look on her face.

“Have you been crying?”

I looked away, my eyes have been puffy and red. “No.” I lied

“What’s the problem?” Jessica asked

I looked at Jessica, having a fierce battle with myself, whether I could trust her or not. Judging by everything she’s helped me with and the sincerity in her eyes, I know I could but Taeyeon. It’s obvious they’re close to each other and Jessica would obviously trust Taeyeon more than me.

Before I could come to a decision, the door opened and the 7 girls of So Nyuh Shi Dae came in. They greeted me with their usual cheerful and bright selves, even Taeyeon.

“I have to go.” I said and left, 7 pairs of eyes watching me

I am such a coward. That was my chance, I could have just confronted Jessica or Taeyeon but I couldn’t. My members’ words suddenly came into mind:

‘If anything happens, make sure we’re the first to know.’

I promised that I would but I felt like, this was something I had to solve on my own. I picked up my phone, took a deep breath and called Donghae’s phone. A part of me wanted him to pick up but the other part didn’t want him to.

‘Donghae’s not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep.’

I sighed in relief and disappointment. How is it possible to feel so many things at once? I started to walk towards the dorm. The girls are probably awake by now. I stopped by a café to buy our favorite loaf of bread. I noticed people’s stares and whispers but I ignored them.

When it was my turn to order, the teenage boy behind the counter gawked at me. Even though I felt totally awkward, I flashed him a bright smile and said my order. I took out my wallet to pay but the boy said I didn’t need to and that an autograph was sufficient.
So I gave him my autograph and left. Being a celebrity does have some perks but who ever said it was glamorous?I opened the door, about to scream ‘I’m home’ but stopped when I saw Donghae in the living room with my members.

==
“Do you have something to tell me?” I asked Donghae, avoiding his eyes

My members had left to keep us some privacy but I was well aware that they were just behind the door, listening on in our conversation. Donghae took my hand.

“I need to explain myself.” Donghae said

I blinked my eyes furiously, trying not to cry. I gently took my hand away from him.

“Shoot.”
“About what you saw…” Donghae paused, as if trying to find the right words “I…”

“No, it’s alright.” I finally turned to look at Donghae “I think it’s better if we just stay friends.”

Donghae’s eyes widened “Wh-what do you mean?”

“From the start, a lot of things were already in the way of our love and now I’ve realized that maybe we were never supposed to be together.”

“you -sshi…”

I stood up and opened the door, my members tumbled to the floor.

“The bread’s on the dining table.” I told them and left

I met Kibum at the SM building.

Kibum sighed “You called me saying you wanted to talk, but you’re not saying even a word.”

“I just need your company.” I replied

“Do you want to cry?”

I looked at Kibum and he patted his shoulder “Come here.”

I encircled my arms on his waist and I started crying, he reciprocated my hug. For awhile, I got tired of crying and I stopped but I didn’t step away from Kibum. A hug was what I needed right now.

“What is this?!”

Donghae? Kibum and I separated and looked towards the door. Donghae gave us an intense glare, this was the first time I’ve seen him like this and it sent shivers down my spine.

“Is this why you wanted to break up?!” Donghae roared

“You bastard!” Donghae shouted at Kibum before running towards him and giving him a hard punch on the face.