Every other player of the basketball team was excited with these rumors, even the coach. But it was the seniors, those about to graduate, that seemed desperate to grab this chance, Myungsoo was too because he currently had a kid to raise and a part-time job that he knew he couldn't become a full-time employee. If that was true that is, but he wasn't believing much in this particular rumor.

“It's a wonderful chance hyung, you have to grab it.” Moonsoo had commented once he drove his brother and a sleepy Woohyun back home.

“It's a rumor.” Myungsoo had said with a sigh.

“Either way, isn't better if you step up your game? Hm? Hm? Hm?” The younger said while trying to elbow his brother teasingly without taking his hand from the steering wheel. “That won't hurt you right?”

“Yah!” Myungsoo complained then chuckled. “I can do that.”

“You seem happy today hyung. Is this rumor only or this is something else?” Moonsoo asked hoping his brother would say he talked to Sungyeol and they solved things between them to some point.

“My project is finally progressing so yeah, I'm kinda happy.” The elder of the two admitted.

“Then the sacrifice is showing results.” Moonsoo concluded and Myungsoo head snapped back to his brother.

“Sacrifice?” He asked and Moonsoo gulped before replying as smooth as he could.

“Yeah, meeting Sungyeol hyung is a sacrifice at this point right?”

“Hm...” Myungsoo hummed instead of replying. Yes, they have been cordial but lately... it seemed that every time he saw Sungyeol something in the elder was worse even though he tried to look professional, so was meeting really a sacrifice for himself when Sungyeol was like that?

Myungsoo continued working on his project for an hour after Woohyun went to sleep but soon he sat his eyes on Sungyeol's mom box of letters? He felt curious and tempted to read but after a lot of rationalization, he decided once more he wouldn’t. Not only he didn’t think there was something in there that could help him, but he also didn’t even think he needed help - a break up was a breakup, right? - but he was sure he certainly would lose time for his project, or sleep time since it was late.

Thursday would be a busy day, not for Sungyeol that only had to make a few phone calls and continue reading (and separating) some letters, from both Sonmi and his mother, but for Myungsoo that would work for Hoya during the morning and continue with his project in the evening. So he woke up early, brought Woohyun to school, with all the intention to come back as quick as possible, but was held back by Dongwoo.

“Myungsoo, can I talk to you for a second?”

The said man turned around to look at the pink haired teacher. “Is there any problem with Woohyun?”

“Oh, no, he is fine.” Dongwoo shook his head as he smiled. “I just wanted to tell you…”

“It isn’t about Sunggyu brother, right?” Myungsoo interrupted as he squinted his eyes. “Because seriously I don’t want to talk about him.” He added but instead of his tone coming out angry, it just seemed mostly hurt and tired.

“Oh, not about him either - I promise myself that I wouldn’t in - about you.” He clarified and got close enough to grab him by his elbow. “Have I ever told you I am the maknae of two older sisters?” Dongwoo continued.

“But what that has to do with me?” Myungsoo asked in confusion but Dongwoo just continued.

“They married wonderful guys, one works with the army finances and one is a reporter for KBS N Sports. I had dinner with my family the other day - it was a pity that Hoya couldn’t come - but I heard something that might interest you since you’re a basketball player.”

“Huh?”

“So, my brother in law was telling me there are big agents that are interested in casting people from your team for this year Draft, they might drop by to watch your practices or games soon, isn’t that a good opportunity to become professional?” The teacher asked as he smiled happily.

Myungsoo stopped to think, of course that would be nice, he liked taking photos but for him to reach a certain level that made him earn good money and not have ed up hours of work… that would require some time with Woohyun that he should sacrifice. But how could he believe something if not a big name was involved in his rumor?

“It would be if that was true, but as far as I know it is just a rumor that is going around my college, hyung are you sure what you’re telling me is not a rumor?” He asked then unfocused his eyes as he thought. “He definitely wouldn’t know or pass this rumor along.”He mumbled to himself as he thought Sungyeol definitely wasn’t much into sports.

Dongwoo started to sweat but did his best to save the situation and try to lie smoothly as he could while he remembered some names that Hoya had mentioned. “Myungsoo, a reporter knows where to get info, sometimes some confirmation on the news happens through the agents and not the players themselves… Do you know Choi Junyong, Kim Mingoo…”

Dongwoo didn’t even finish his question but already had Myungsoo gasping and making his eyes grow big. “Choi Junyong? Kim Mingoo? Oh my god, that’s high-level players.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Dongwoo confirmed, though he had no idea who that was, was that guy famous? He didn’t know, he would check with Hoya later.

Myungsoo hands balled into fists nervously. “Really?”

“Really.” Dongwoo insisted. “So if you’re interested in playing professionally you need to focus and do your best so you get noticed.” Myungsoo bit his lips and Dongwoo made a surprised face and tilted his head to the side. “You’re not interested in becoming professional?”

“No, no, no, it’s not like that.” Myungsoo was sure to wave both hands and Dongwoo breathed relieved that Sungyeol was not trying to do in vain. “It’s just… there is a bunch of things happening… so many problems… It is not like my passion faded but I know I’m not giving my best… Like sometimes I just want to stay home and hibernate.”

“Things are that bad?” Dongwoo asked in concern.

Myungsoo looked down at the ground and sighed but then looked at the teacher and forced a smile, trying to be positive. “But, hey, some things started falling into place.”

“That’s so good to hear.” Dongwoo smiled brightly then decided to let out a piece of advice for the younger. “At the end, it’s up to you if you want this opportunity but maybe you could use the game to, I don’t know, let your frustrations out at least?” Dongwoo slightly shrugged his shoulders. “But don’t be too hard on yourself while you’re playing, sometimes things are beyond our control.”

Myungsoo smiled gratefully. “Thank you for the advice hyung, do you know if the agents have any date scheduled to visit us?”

Dongwoo made a guilty face. “That I don’t know, sorry.”

“It’s ok, thank you anyway.”

“It was nothing, I just thought I had to tell you because I know Hoya can’t pay you full time and you have a kid to raise.” The pink haired teacher smiled an angelic smile and patted Myungsoo on the shoulder “Talking about him if you have any problem with Hoya and he pushes you too hard you can complain to me and I will pull his ear for you.” He winked before turning to go. “I got to go, see you later.”

Myungsoo took a cab home and on the way to his apartment sent a couple of messages to his family members. He told Moonsoo the rumors seemed legit because he also heard from someone that had connections and then explained the situations to his parents and asked what they thought about it. While he received many ‘kyaaaaaah’ from Moonsoo, which definitely made him laugh, his parents sent supportive and encouraging messages for him to grab this opportunity.

He sighed. He didn’t want to disappoint his family, that at first was not really happy when he chose to study art and that was definitely a good opportunity - maybe his parents would only need to help him a bit while he transitioned everything and he would definitely be able to have money to raise his son (though he didn’t have a clue on how much a professional player actually earned) - but was that what he really wanted to do for his entire life? He hadn’t the slightest clue about this, he chose arts/photography because he enjoyed but he didn’t have a preference for anything. He sighed again, now one more thing to think about.

By the time he arrived home, he decided it wouldn’t be worth if he thought about it what to do with an offer now when he didn’t have one. What if the agents recruited Jungshin or Minho? He was good but they were taller and scored well too, so if he didn’t know anything for sure he shouldn’t dramatize anything yet right? He should focus on concrete things that he could solve right now.

He was ready to work, be on his project, or maybe Hoya’s webtoons but before that, he checked his emails and there was one that caught his attention, one from Sungyeol and he kinda dreaded to read because he just knew he would be scolded somehow.

“Myungsoo, I hope everything is ok with your project, but you didn’t come yesterday nor gave me heads up that you wouldn’t come and that got me worried. It is not part of my duties to send this kind of email but I hope you remember how little time you have and how missing on our meetings can impact with the schedule I came up with.

Talking about a schedule, I hope you can meet me in the office on Friday (hopefully with something written), because not only I adjusted your schedule a bit, but I will have a busy week and I need to explain your next goals in case we aren’t able to meet.

If something happens or it is of your preference not to show up (though that wouldn’t be ideal), you can still send me your project through email, or ask someone to deliver to me, and I will send you back all the corrections and all the suggestions I might have so we can keep up, ok?

Best regards,

Lee Sungyeol”

Myungsoo laughed as he predicted correctly, it was subtle but the scolding was there, he knew it since he saw Sungyeol name on that email. He then felt a little touched, as far as he knew no adviser wrote they were the ones worried and surely they never took the first step for anything right? Well, not his previous one, despite being very nice, and not the ones that were helping his friends.

He couldn’t dwell much on this feeling, he was probably imagining what he wanted to happen, he wanted for Sungyeol to care for him, to love him, to accept him, be his partner, to not break up…

He felt his eyes start to produce some tears as Sungyeol simple but somehow distant words made him travel from a place where he thought everything was good and crash into a reality where he was easily dumped for, probably, not meeting Sungyeol expectations in bed or within the relationship. Maybe Sungyeol felt his personal problems were just too much. Maybe he was such a bad boyfriend that Sungyeol needed to control everything to be able to put up and….

He quickly shook his head, he needed to get real, the elder dumped him and now they only had a relationship as student and adviser where he couldn’t hope for any lingering emotion. No, an end is an end, right? And he didn’t have time to mope too! Project, work, practice, dinner, he had a lot to do so he decided to turn on some music and work a bit until this bad feeling passed and he had the mood again to work on his project.

After some time, in the apartment across, Sungyeol stayed locked on his room since he arrived home and Hoya couldn’t take any more of that behavior. That had been going on for a few days and he decided to knock on his cousin door with the excuse of being hungry, but with all intentions to take Sungyeol to eat outside.

“Sungyeol, are you hungry?” He called softly and right after glued his ear on the door to hear an answer but he only heard silence so he decided to try again. “I couldn’t hear… Sungyeol?” Hoya insisted and tried the knob and this time, to his surprise, the door wasn’t really locked, only closed.

He knew Sungyeol was feeling without privacy since he moved in and since he fainted Hoya had been trying to give him some space, but he decided to come inside to see Sungyeol for himself because it’s been good ten years Sungyeol made locked doors be something usual on his routine. He took a deep breath and pushed the door softly then entered but only to see Sungyeol laying on his bed. The taller back was facing him while he concentrated on reading something in his phone, and his room was not a complete mess but was far from its usual organization because there were letters scattered everywhere.

“Sungyeol?” He called and Sungyeol seemed to sigh.

“Hoya.” He said but didn’t dare to move from his position

“I knocked, but you didn’t reply so…” He looked around once more before walking to Sungyeol desk, pulling the chair and sat on it. “What happened here? Why these letters are scattered? Are these from auntie? Yeol, didn’t mom said you should take it slow? There is no rush for you to know anything and I don’t want to see you faint again.” Hoya lightly scolded as Sungyeol tried to connect his phone into his charger.

Sungyeol sighed once he connected it then sat in bed and turned to talk to his cousin. “These are from Myungsoo’s mom’s, I had been reading to try to understand Myungsoo better and then figure out why he was so mad.”

“Oh, then you found something?” Hoya asked with some hope.

“Aside from the fact that Myungsoo is weird for no reason?” Sungyeol used sarcasm - he thought struggling parents couldn’t count to make Myungsoo feel unwanted and insecure, his parents visited him all the time when he lived with his grandmother and showered him with love, how many times his mother visited him during weekends when he was in his boarding school? Zero.

“What?”Hoya seemed surprised.

“He is insecure but that doesn’t matter right now.” Sungyeol said as rubbed one hand on his face and Hoya was about to make a confused expression when the taller continued. “Our moms shared many things so for more context I was forced to start reading mom’s letters.” He confessed.

“And you think reading your mom letters is a smart move to do when you just broke up with your boyfriend and fainted the other day because you discovered two entire lawsuits about you?” Hoya asked perplexed and Sungyeol shrugged.

“I wouldn’t say smart… maybe necessary?” The taller suggested.

Hoya shook his head then sighed. “And that enlightened you at least?”

“In a few ways.”Sungyeol said with a painful tone and Hoya raised a brow that practically begged for Sungyeol to elaborate. “Aside discovering things about Myungsoo, I think I can understand where Sungjong problems came from now. Mom didn’t exactly want another child when she was so frustrated with me...”

Hoya nodded his head a few times. “He told me your parents were having trouble already and they thought another child would help them begin again.”

“I feel so bad about that.”Sungyeol said as he inspected his knees.

“Things between your parents are not exactly your fault Sungyeol, and Sungjong at least knows this isn’t his fault either.”

“But things still ended the way they ended, he wasn’t enough to mend things.”

“That’s not a kid job you know? The adults should reach an agreement and compromise if there is still some love between them, once that ends, what’s the point? They get frustrated and miserable and what can happen? They take on you, on Sungjong? Your parents divorced and she remarried, I know that pissed you off at the time but move on from that already, they had the right to try to be happy.”

Sungyeol took a deep breath and pressed his lips together for a bit before replying. “At that time I couldn’t understand that and of course with what I was going through it worsened things between us, but I got over the divorce.”

“Oh really?” Hoya crossed his arms.

“Maybe no one could really have control on when they decided to divorce but what annoys me now is how and why, because these are things that were never properly explained to me.”

“Hello~? Because they didn’t love each other anymore? Through a joint decision and a signed paper?” Hoya rolled his eyes.

“You don’t understand Hoya. In the letters, I read, and the things I remember, Mom was deeply in love with dad and if they had so many problems that they decided to have another child to save their marriage… I think that was a huge effort on both of them.”

Hoya squinted his eyes at him. “Once more I don’t follow.”

“What I mean is… just like me and Myungsoo… something from outside their relationship influenced and wore their relationship out to the point another child wasn't enough and divorce was indeed inevitable.”

Hoya frowned. “Sungjong didn’t say anything about that.”

“Probably because he was only interested in letters that mentioned him, and their main problem happened before he was born and they spent years trying to solve until mom met someone else and it wasn’t an option anymore.” Sungyeol said as he looked in his cousin's eyes and the said man nodded as he agreed.

“What happened then?” Hoya asked curiously, now all ears.

“I don’t know, it isn’t clear in the letters that I read until now because she only refers to this as ‘my situation this’, ’my situation that’. She makes clear that Myungsoo mom knows what she is talking about but never really says anything directly. And Sonmi-shi never asks things directly too, she always writes about this like ‘how is it going with that problem?’ with two underlines.” Sungyeol explained with frustration then looked at his cousin.

“But what could it be?” Hoya asked himself.

“Again, I don’t know.” Sungyeol said with frustration. “But if that problem happened before Jong was born, maybe it can also explain why her behavior towards me started to change so much too, why she spent less and less time with me before I was shipped off, or why she thought I was seeking attention when I was dying in that madhouse.”

“I think if my parents knew something they would already have told you, so currently you have no way of discovering that if it isn’t written in the letters.” Hoya said confidently.

Now was Sungyeol turn to squint his eyes at his cousin. “Oh really, because I lived with your parents during these entire lawsuits and they told me about it? Of course, I have, Sonmi-shi knows.”

“Ok, you have a point.” Hoya admitted. “They probably know about that at least and didn’t want to tell you to not complicate your state of mind. But, honestly, what are you going to do? Myungsoo’s parents probably don’t see you in a favorable way to volunteer to talk about this. Besides, mom said you should take slow.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that. And don’t worry about it, I will take slow while I think about how to make Sonmi-shi talk to me.” Sungyeol said confidently as he finally got up and moved out of his bedroom.

“Wait, Sungyeol, where are you going?” Hoya asked as he got up to follow his cousin.

“To have lunch, you owe me for staying so long in my apartment.” Hoya groaned as Sungyeol managed a tired amused smile at him while he continued annoying his cousin. “And for hiding my knives, and razor and meds, and....”

Hoya groaned while rolling his eyes “Ok Sungyeol, I got it, I’ll pay.”

_______________________________________________________________________

While Myungsoo worked very diligently on his project during the afternoon, Sungyeol organized and hid Sonmi’s the letters again and left his room to iron his and Sunggyu clothes (Hoya had to do his own) and buy some food to fill his pantry. Later that day he picked Sunggyu in school and the boy observed his not improving tired face only for Sungyeol assure he was alright. After dinner and homework, Woohyun came over with a few papers for him.

“Daddy said you need to read this.” Woohyun said as he passed the papers for Sungyeol. “Hyung, you should rest more.”

“I’m ok Woohyun, I’ll not get sick, I promise.” Sungyeol dismissed the boy concern as he grabbed the papers from the boy’s hands.

“Hyung, why do we need to be messengers?” Sunggyu asked, more like whined, it seemed weird to him that he and Woohyun had to bring Myungsoo stuff to Sungyeol and vice versa when he had already heard from both adults that they needed to meet in college, though he knew they couldn’t solve their problems there.

“I’m sorry to you both about that, but we all need Myungsoo to finish this project so if we need you to bring anything, I ask you to understand and do us this favor, it is not like I’ll stop you guys from playing to do just that.”

“Why can’t you just hand him directly? Wouldn’t that be better to make you be friends again?” Woohyun asked.

“Your dad doesn’t want to see me that much, he only sees me in college because he is obliged to and I don’t want him more uncomfortable or it would be harder to talk to him and fix things after he finishes his project.” Sungyeol briefly explained then decided to change the subject. “Do you need help to chose the song you’ll sing?”

“Noooooo, it has to be a surprise.” Woohyun quickly said, already forgetting about Sungyeol promise to teach him to play and that he had liked the idea.

“How will I teach you to play then?”Sungyeol asked with some amusement and Sunggyu looked at his friend, telling him with his little eyes that Sungyeol had a point. “Ok, let’s do like this, once you tell me the song I’ll try to search for the tabs without listening to it, is that ok?”

The boys looked at each other and nodded happily and then Sunggyu added. “Can we borrow your laptop so we can search the song on Youtube?”

If it was the old him he would say no straightforwardly but now his heart had softened a lot, still, his laptop was his working tool so he was sure to lecture a bit.

“Ok, but not downloading things or clicking on ads ok? I don’t want my laptop to get some weird virus and stop working, if anything weird pop out in the screen, call me.”

“Yeaaaaaaaaaah, cool, I’m gonna bring it here….” Sunggyu was about to run towards Sungyeol room but the elder grabbed him by the arm.

“Actually it’s better if you stay in my room with it, I can put it on the bed so you two have more space.” Sungyeol offered, Sunggyu was always followed by little disasters and he didn’t need the boy stumbling and breaking his laptop.

Woohyun tapped his friend excitedly because he just had an idea. “Hyung, we can ask Hoya hyung for suggestions.” Sunggyu eyes lit up as he approved the idea and Sungyeol sighed relieved - if the two were gonna bother Hoya he could keep an eye on them while he worked on Myungsoo project - but he also couldn’t help but tease them.

“So Hoya hyung can know about it and I can’t? See if I bake cupcakes this weekend for you anymore.” Sungyeol feigned jealousy and the boys started to giggle and apologize at the same time until Sungyeol decided it was enough.

After he left the boys in Hoya’s company Sungyeol sat in the living room to take an overall look on Myungsoo’s project. The younger had fixed some words, built and erased paragraphs, added quotes from the author he suggested and Sungyeol wasn’t expecting anything aside what they had discussed on Monday to be Wednesday’s goal - that he could see Myungsoo already done - but the pages continued to his surprise.

At first sight, Sungyeol couldn’t tell if Myungsoo added content to his text but it was surely rewritten and bigger than the half chapter Myungsoo showed him earlier. Now Sungyeol knew why Myungsoo was in the library and hadn’t come to see him, he wasn’t not trying to speed up anything because he hadn’t time or had troubles with his project, he didn’t come because he was on a roll. Sungyeol lips started to stretch in a smile as he felt proud of his ex-lover but his heart skipped a beat when he reached the final page and, in Myungsoo’s neat handwriting, there was a message for him. Tomorrow, 9h?

He got up to grab a pen then returned to the couch and now he was gonna read everything carefully from the beginning. He didn’t know if Myungsoo aimed to show his project with little time to be able to complain if he hadn’t suggestions to make or if he was being confident that Sungyeol could have tons of suggestions, but one thing was sure, in tomorrow’s meeting he would be as far as possible from being empty-handed.

Sometime later Sungyeol noticed when Sunggyu came out of his room pulling a sleepy Woohyun so he accompanied the boys towards Myungsoo door just to be sure Woohyun wouldn’t bump his face anywhere while Hoya moved his stuff to the living room because he thought Sungyeol still had to rest.

“How did helping them with the song go?” He asked when Hoya came back to pick up some cables.

“They are taking themselves too seriously.” Hoya giggled fondly as he thought the two kids behavior was kinda funny and cute and that’s why they were Dongwoo favorites. “They listened to a lot of songs quietly then I had to find a way to translate the lyrics and they discussed if the lyrics were what they wanted. They’re kinda perfectionists.”

Sungyeol smiled and sat on the bed. “Did they chose one? They want me to teach them to play the song, so they roughly have a month to rehearse.”

Hoya made an impressed expression when he heard about the kid's intention though he wasn’t sure the boys would be able to play anything by then. “Sunggyu said they will talk to Dongwoo hyung tomorrow then narrow down the possibilities. He sounded exactly like you when you say that and that was kinda weird.”

Sungyeol hummed and Hoya was about to go out when Sungyeol called him once more. “Hoya?” The said man turned to look at him. “You kept an eye on them, right? They didn’t snoop around my room, right?”

“No. Aside from breaks to the bathroom they didn’t leave the bed. Why?” The elder made a confused expression and Sungyeol forced a smile.

“Nothing, I don’t want the kids near the letters to avoid unpleasant situations, that’s why I hid them. But curious kids like them snoop around right? So there was still a chance for them to find.” Sungyeol explained.

“Yeah, Sunggyu is still young to know a few things about you right?” Hoya gave him an understanding nod.

“I’m not worried over Sunggyu though.” Sungyeol mumbled then got up to walk to his closet and changed the subject as he grabbed some pajamas. “Myungsoo confirmed he would come to see me tomorrow, how do you think I should approach the subject of talking to his mother? I thought I could bargain with his mother letters but maybe he would see that in a negative way.”

“Dude, just politely ask Myungsoo to ask her to meet you and please be clear, you don’t want any more misunderstandings.” Hoya gave his advice then excused himself

Sungyeol scrunched his face, that didn’t exactly helped him, asking that could cross some boundaries he thought Myungsoo wouldn’t be comfortable with.

After another night not sleeping that well and kicking Hoya (that slept like a log) to get a ride to Sunggyu school (in which Hoya came out with heart-shaped eyes after seeing Dongwoo in the shirt he liked) and then to college since he thought he could cause an accident. He made Hoya drop him on a café near campus and decided to walk towards his building, he thought walking could make him more alert and the caffeine could start working by the time he arrived at his office.

Sungyeol was kinda nervous, he had a lot to talk to Myungsoo until there was any chance to ask him a favor with his mother, and he was sure Myungsoo wouldn’t like hearing a few things he had to say, but he was kinda distracted by a brief meeting on Song Jongki office to receive a few instructions about the end of the semester. Once he finally managed to arrive at the office he usually stayed at, Myungsoo was leaning over the wall calmly sipping some protein shake or something equivalent, Sungyeol wouldn’t know.

“You’re late.” Myungsoo said first as he straightened himself and threw the small bottle in the nearest garbage bin and s Sungyeol walked towards the door to open it for them.

“I’m not late, just like you now, I was in a meeting with one of my advisers.” Sungyeol retorted and pushed the door open while Myungsoo thought he shouldn’t insist and just followed him inside. Sungyeol yawned and placed one paper bag at the far side of his table and his usual bag in front of his seat. “I should have bought a larger coffee, damn.” He mumbled to himself while he and Myungsoo sat then continued. “I read your project.”

Myungsoo observed the elder face as he spoke without looking at his eyes and noticed Sungyeol seemed even more tired than the last time they met. “Overnight?” He asked. “You didn’t need to pull an all-nighter for the project, you could have sent me an email asking me to meet another time so you’d have time to rest.”

Sungyeol sighed but tried to reply in a playful manner as he searched for something inside one of his bags. “Now literally everyone is scolding me because of that.”

Myungsoo gulped a bit nervously with what he had in mind but decided to say anyway, this could be considered small talk right? “I’ve never seen you with such dark circles, Sunggyu was right when he said they were deep.”

Sungyeol decided to ignore the comment about Sunggyu (that kid wasn’t meddling again, or was he?) and furthered explained as he started to take a few papers from the bag. “I didn’t pull an all-nighter, I just don’t seem to rest well these days. It will be worse when I go back to work.”

“You’re back to work before the selective process?” Myungsoo raised a brow then promptly apologized. “Sorry, I shouldn’t ask about your life.”

“It’s ok, everyone knows about it.” Sungyeol dismissed Myungsoo concerns and explained further. “We have to pay bills right? I need to because...”

“Woollim pays .” Myungsoo continued because he heard that a lot before.

“But don’t worry, I’ll probably work in the days you’re not supposed to meet me so this won’t affect anything.” He assured and finally put his bag to the side to look the younger in the eyes.“You sent me a lot of material so I have a lot to say today.” Sungyeol said more excitedly.

“I can’t wait to hear.” The younger said a bit nervous and kinda afraid Sungyeol didn’t like his changes.

“I’d like to compliment you on your speed. Aside corrections and additions you wrote more than I asked you for.” Sungyeol said in a playful manner though he totally meant it

“This is called despair.” Myungsoo giggled and Sungyeol could see in that answer insecurity disguised as playfulness, things were so clear for him now.as he somehow refused the compliment

“This would be despair if you had a week before the deadline, but we still have what? A little over a month? And Myungsoo your situation is very peculiar so to continue writing steadily it is a huge thing. ” Sungyeol decided to insist with the compliment and Myungsoo got shy, his cheeks even became a little rosy so the younger looked away.

“I’m not that fast but I was on a roll this week and thought I should take advantage of it to write as much as I can, this is why I didn’t drop by Wednesday. Sorry for not informing you.” He ended up trying to change the subject.

“It’s ok, as long as we keep on track on our schedule and maybe we should talk about that already.” He pushed a paper in Myungsoo direction and the younger grabbed only to notice that it somehow looked out of date, and there were some days Sungyeol marked as not able to advise.

“Huh?” He mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

“I took into consideration your matches this time and established your goals but I didn’t know you would write so much since you already progressed till here...” He beckoned for the paper and crossed three lines of goals. “I’m gonna tell you my suggestions but I will not ask them to correct right away so try to just finish your second chapter. I’ll leave this with you in case you can’t meet me so you have more less a guide for things I expect to read when you are not able to come ok?”

“Ok, but why you can’t advise next Wednesday?” Myungsoo asked curiously. “You’ll only check my progress on Friday I’m gonna lose some time waiting for you and…”

“Because that’s my first round or exams to become a professor here so I don’t think I can meet you that day unless you are inclined to meet outside or do like yesterday.” Sungyeol briefly explained and Myungsoo let out an ‘oh’. The younger wanted to ask about the taller preparation if he was feeling nervous and many things more, but he figured he would be out of place, though that could explain Sungyeol dark circles too. “But if you don’t want to do that, don’t wait for me and proceed writing as you did this week. If you are not able to keep up don’t worry, I’ve set up this schedule for you to finish earlier so even if a problem happens, you’ll still have time to fix it ok?”

“Right.” Myungsoo replied as it was the only thing he could say, though he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep up with that schedule, mainly when he had to be in the top notch in case some agent dropped by to watch him play.

“Ready to begin the real deal now?” Sungyeol asked and Myungsoo nodded so he turned the papers and pointed a paragraph with his finger. “First explain me this and this, I’m not sure I understood these expressions well because I believe it is something technical you use in your field and I didn’t have much time to do some research.”

Myungsoo leaned a bit over to see what the meant and Sungyeol could smell his perfume, and if it was on him he could down on it, but quickly regained his sense and professionalism when Myungsoo started to explain things. He let the younger explain things comfortably and even asked some questions that the younger answered and made them slowly drift from one subject to another and with that twenty minutes flew in an instant.

“Ok, ok. I’m not gonna learn everything about photography, you already explained what I wanted and it was like I was imagining, so I think it is safe to say that you don’t have to change anything here, this part makes sense.” Sungyeol said as he grabbed his notes and crossed two entire paragraphs to rule them out of the things Myungsoo had to do or redo, which made the younger proud of himself.

Sungyeol turned the page. “You fixed a lot of things on your first chapter and I scribbled down my thoughts in these notes that I will give you in a bit, but, unfortunately, there is still something to change.” Sungyeol said seriously and Myungsoo felt like his good mood was leaving him.

“You ended the chapter too bluntly. Try to come up with a small conclusion and write things in a smoother way, maybe give a hint in what will happen in the next chapter without being too direct either. But you’re pretty done with this chapter after this.” He informed with a genuine but collected smile.

Myungsoo let out a breath of relief. “You got me for a second, I thought you wouldn’t I would have to redo most of it.” He admitted.

“Why?” Sungyeol asked.

“I don’t know. You’re the genius here, maybe for you I am like Woohyun, if we compared him with a normal adult.” Myungsoo answered uncomfortably.

“Nonsense, it wasn’t bad, you know? I asked you to change because I know you can do better and it is my job to push you to show your best. Yes, you have some vices and lost yourself in some paragraphs, but who never did that? This has nothing to do with having a high IQ because sometimes I do it too.” He confessed and Myungsoo eyes became slightly big in surprise. “Mainly when my thoughts are jumbled and when I can’t think straight or when I don’t know a lot about the subject. I was doing that a lot shortly after my mom died, it is normal Myungsoo.” Myungsoo blinked away as he assimilated what he just heard when Sungyeol snorted as he leaned a bit forward again. “If you knew the amount of nonsense Chanyeol already wrote… that one certainly has the record in this department.”

Myungsoo squinted his eyes at him. “Is this conversation taking a turn to somewhere it isn’t supposed to?”

Sungyeol bit his lip a bit then spoke sadly after a second. “No, I was just being honest but I see you don’t believe me. Would you feel pleased if tell you everything ?”

“No, but how can I believe you when it seems like you’re up to me?” Myungsoo asked.

Sungyeol shook his head as if disappointed. “I’m not up to you I’m being sincere. But if you’re thinking like this, can’t you see how obvious would it be for other people if we just did what you wanted?”

Myungsoo immediately avoided eye contact and started to move his ankle up and down repeatedly, Sungyeol didn’t need to be direct but he definitely knew what the elder was talking about. He waited for the younger to say something but nothing was coming out of his mouth and he wasn’t moving to leave either so he decided to change the subject.

“We aren’t supposed to talk about this right? So let’s go back to work.” He put his eyes down on the papers Myungsoo wrote. “I see here you progressed a lot with your second chapter length, altered things without talking to me, and that was a good decision because this is better than what you showed me first. You have some weird spelling mistakes this time which I take it was because you were excitedly writing...”

“I thought I should do as you told me and fix this in one go at the end because if I keep correcting at some point I won’t be able to see my mistakes.” Myungsoo begrudgingly replied.

“Wise decision.” Sungyeol said bluntly and proceeded to point things from the second chapter in the papers for Myungsoo because he felt like the younger would be happy to leave soon.

When he finished explaining everything Myungsoo was kinda lost already. “Will I be able to even remember everything?”

“It’s ok, I wrote down for you even though you don’t need to fix everything right away. You just need to look for the matching number.” Sungyeol said as he pushed his notes for Myungsoo that by now felt a little guilty.

Sungyeol explained good and bad things in details, made good suggestions, corrected things Myungsoo already knew that kinda , besides he was trying to organize Myungsoo progress as much as he could taking in consideration his matches and he was being as unbiased as he could be. The young dad still felt a mix of anger and sadness but who he was kidding? He was only writing because Sungyeol was pushing him to and that was worth a million thank you’s already, but here he was thinking Sungyeol wanted to it up to him.

“Hey.” He hesitantly said and Sungyeol stretched his lips in a sad smile. “Sorry about what I said earlier, sorry for being difficult in our meetings. This is weird and overwhelming sometimes.” He confessed awkwardly.

“It’s ok Myungsoo. You’re hurt so it is hard to believe in me, right? Besides, this situation is confusing on its own.” Myungsoo wanted to say otherwise but Sungyeol kinda nailed this time so he stayed in silence. “It’s ok, I’m sure I deserve.” Sungyeol assured again but when it came to his working methods, now that things were going smoother, Myungsoo didn’t think the taller deserved a few things. He was about to open up his up mouth but Sungyeol beat him to it.

“I need to show you something.” He grabbed the paper bag he had left in a corner earlier and placed in front of Myungsoo. “It’s yours if you want it.” He added.

Myungsoo stayed frozen for a whole minute not knowing what to do, should he pick it up? Should he refuse because it was improper? He decided on the second option. “What are you doing? You were the one freaking out because of ethics and now you want to give me gifts?” He hissed lowly and in disbelief before inhaling deep. “This is …”

“Before you continue and say the word harassment, I’m not trying to do that.” Sungyeol tried to defend himself keeping his tone as low as Myungsoo’s. “Indeed I want to have a different kind of conversation but I know that will only happen if you are ready but I know you’re not and I don’t want to force anything, I just....”

“Fine, but you have to agree that it looks weird.”Myungsoo interrupted nervously. “If people see this they might think that...” He gulped because he couldn’t bring himself to say. “It will compromise the learning environment.” He quoted the university policy that unfortunately he knew about it.

“Then don’t take it, but take a look at it.” Sungyeol begged and that alone made Myungsoo stop and look at Sungyeol with a confused expression so the elder was quick to try to elaborate in a low tone. “I told you not a word would come out of my mouth and I am still upholding this promise...” Myungsoo gulped hard as when Sungyeol said that he instantly knew what he was referring to and what could possibly be the thing.

“Are these my mom’s letters?” He asked and Sungyeol nodded.

“Yes, but not all of them because my mom was not as organized as yours.” Sungyeol said and Myungsoo pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Moonsoo told me you guys found some letters and called me freaking out.”He then looked at Sungyeol hoping to find in the elder what he wanted to know but since at this point, he couldn't decipher the taller he decides to just ask. “Did you guys read them?”

Sungyeol cleared his throat a bit if Myungsoo was gonna ask personal things he would reply.“When we found the letters Sungjong was entertained by some pictures of Moonsoo and then Hoya found something that caused me to faint so their focus on the weekend was mostly on me. They didn’t read and i had to take things slow and hide them when I wasn't reading them, even more when Woohyun was coming over.” Myungsoo sighed relieved, at least he wasn't wrong in believing Sungyeol with that. “So there is really something that can give me away?” He asked tiredly as he gathered the courage to take a look for himself.

“Your mom wasn’t clear about many things…” Sungyeol sighed as he thought about how she didn't help him understand his mother marriage problems. “She wondered about the uality half of your life and she briefly talks about Woohyun origins but some letters are missing and there is no way we can be certain she knew about it when she wrote them.” Myungsoo sighed in relief but Sungyeol knew he shouldn’t feel that way that soon.

“Myungsoo, I thought a lot about what you said about Woohyun the other day…” Sungyeol hesitated but once he noticed Myungsoo was listening with the attention he decided to continue. “That you don’t want him hurt and I want to tell you that this secret will still be kept by me and there is no way I can intentionally hurt Woohyun like this.” He assured and Myungsoo was about to open his mouth and say he believed Sungyeol in this aspect but the taller beat him to it. “If you take a look at it you'll know he doesn’t need to read anything to put the pieces together.”

Myungsoo inhaled deeply and very carefully placed his hand inside the bag and grabbed the first thing he could untangle. A letter with a photo of him and a very white wide-eyed girl attached to it. “Oh my god, it’s Jihyun.” He instantly let go of it as if that letter and picture were gonna bite him somehow.

“See? This can't stay with me when he is visiting my apartment.” Sungyeol pointed to the bag.

“Are you sure he didn't see it?” Myungsoo asked nervously.

“He would've talked about it with you if he had seen it, no?” Sungyeol kindly reminded. “Woohyun was never alone without supervision in my room.”

“Ok then.” He said and Sungyeol felt relieved that Myungsoo was believing him. “Still, I can't keep this.” He said as he put the letter with the picture attached inside the paper bag again then pushed towards Sungyeol.

“I know you can’t keep it in your apartment because Woohyun lives there but your mom talked a lot about you behind your back, aren’t you curious about that? You could keep them In Incheon, I don’t know.”

“It seems as if I’m hearing my own words.” Myungsoo let out a small laugh but Sungyeol looked at him plain serious.

“This process allowed me have some enlightening moments about myself, my mom, Sungjong and even you, so I thought it could be the same for you.”

“There is nothing there that can enlighten me.” Myungsoo tried to say with confidence but it was clear that what Sungyeol said unsettled him a bit.

“If you’re saying.” Sungyeol tilted his head to the side and shrugged innocently. “I can throw them away but these are your mom’s memories as well, do you think she might want it? I can drop them in Incheon for her if you want to.”He offered as he saw a chance he could meet Myungsoo mom and talk to her.

If he were, to tell the truth, he was curious about what his mom talked about him, but maybe that would only happen after things were explained, he had his diploma and a job? When he managed to have some time? He was sure he didn’t want to read about Sungyeol, no he wouldn’t, and maybe when his mom came for the letters maybe he could return that box that he hid underneath his bed.

“I’ll ask her.” Myungsoo decided then pulled his phone, much for Sungyeol happiness, and while he tapped the message Sungyeol decided to hesitantly and as humbly as he could, ask what he wanted.

“Can you also ask her if her and your father would accept to meet me anywhere so I can ask some questions about my mom?” He decided to include Bumsoo at the last second because he thought Bumsoo could help him understand the lawsuits.

Myungsoo immediately stopped tapping to raise a brow at him. “You want what?” He asked and Sungyeol furthered explained.

“It’s just… sometimes our mothers seem like they are talking in codes and it would really help me to understand and overcome things better if I could make some questions and....” He inhaled deeply as Myungsoo blinked and pleaded. “I know your parents probably wouldn’t want to talk to me because I hurt you, but can you do me this favor?”

“You gotta be kidding me. You did what you did and want my help to talk to my parents?” Myungsoo said in disbelief and got up to go to the door.

“I’m trying to change…” Sungyeol said and that made Myungsoo stop because… if he didn’t count the break up he knew Sungyeol was trying, and managing to success a bit, in changing. “Please, even if it is in honor of our past good times?” Sungyeol begged and now Myungsoo felt flames in his chest.

“Then explain me something.” The younger demanded angrily as he turned around to look at the elder eyes. “If you say you don’t need me to pump your curriculum then what are you doing here exactly? Are you helping me to graduate out of honor of our past good times too? Like this is some kind of compensation for the trouble I went through as you broke my heart?” He asked using a low tone, if somebody listened to this kind of conversation they both would be doomed, actually only him because Sungyeol didn’t need him

Sungyeol looked hurt, which kind of surprised Myungsoo although he was trying his best to not show. “No Myungsoo. I’m helping you because I want this to be out of our way so we can have good times in our future.” He replied softly but made sure to stress the word ‘our’ so he could clarify his intentions and because he understood that that anger came from the hurt caused by a misunderstanding that was founded in his inability to be clear but fortified by Myungsoo insecurities. “Together.” He then added in a mumble.

Due to the silence in the room, Myungsoo was perfectly able to hear and that caught him off guard and made him confused, what was the elder suggesting? Had he regretted dumping him? Or Sungyeol just wanted to trick him in order to subside his anger enough for him to give him less stress until he was over? He kinda wanted to believe Sungyeol words but something inside told him he couldn’t, that Sungyeol was lying, that there was no way a smart and experienced person like him would want to go back with someone that was currently being persecuted by big problems and that he did nothing right.

Before his eyes produced some tears, Myungsoo gritted his teeth and shook his head before he turned around and left without another word.

Sungyeol watched the door close behind his ex-lover-now-student and pursed his lips in a sad pout. He knew it was hard for Myungsoo to believe him right now but he couldn’t have been more clear about his intentions as he was today considering their situations. Better than that only if he was able to say ‘I love you’ and make sure the younger believed him but that couldn’t happen in college or when Myungsoo wasn’t ready to have a heart to heart with him yet.

Did he screw up with things even more? Sungyeol didn’t know but he guessed he probably walked backward and sighed then looked down to the table in front of him only to see all his notes and the schedule he came up with still there underneath the paper bag filled with letters and photos.

“He forgot everything.” Sungyeol mumbled to himself as he figured it would be too late to run after Myungsoo.

________________________________________________________________

AN: Whatssss up? How is anyone feeling with Clock, TMI and Dongwoo solo debut?

Don't worry too much about the ending of this chapter their fight is not worsening. On another note, do you think this talk with Myungsoo's parents will help Sungyeol somehow? Because the conversation might go from his mother to his relationship with Myungsoo. 

I hope to come back really soon.