Chanyeol wants to believe that everything is the same. That he is not experiencing some type of odd behavior. Or that he is developing very scary feelings towards a very peculiar person. But he can’t keep on lying to himself anymore. He can, though, try and pretend that nothing is happening to him, but he is also about to turn thirty.

No thirty year old man is naïve. Chanyeol wishes he was.

He quite hates what he is feeling because what can he possibly get out of it? He also doesn’t want to say it out loud. Voicing out what he is feeling, even if it’s just him inside his room, would only make things more – real.

So, no, Chanyeol will not voice it out.

“Morning, Yeol!”

However, everything in Baekhyun is different now. Chanyeol swears that there are invisible sparkly particles floating all over the petite boy. That Baekhyun is radiant in every sense of the word, literally.

It startles him.

The architect actually shakes his head, rubbing his eyes to clear out his foggy vision. Nothing seems to work, though. Baekhyun is just very pretty. Even with his hair all messy and his eyeliner smear, making him look like a tired panda, Chanyeol still finds the 22 year old man very pretty. – Calm down!

He can feel and hear the thumping coming from his fast beating heart. Chanyeol knows that he wouldn’t be feeling that way if it wasn’t for their previous night. Then again, he can’t blame the events from the other night. He has been suppressing his weird thoughts for a long time now. It was just a few hours ago that he fully realize why he was feeling the way he was.

It’s scary to say the least.

“Yoda, Jongin is here already. I will be heading to school now and will be back like around seven, hopefully.” there is a scoff on Baekhyun’s face as he grabs his coat and backpack.

The thought of having to spend extra hours at school really annoys him. Baekhyun waits to get an answer from the elder, but the architect only nods. Baekhyun actually frowns a little, gets his stuff and is about to leave.

But he stops.

A teasing grin spreads over his face. Baekhyun turns around and finds Chanyeol in the same position, head looking down for some odd reason. Baekhyun is comfortable around his roommate. He really is. Now that he knows that Chanyeol can actually miss him makes him even more comfortable. And he also wants to show the elder that he will never leave his side. Baekhyun might not know why Chanyeol is the way he is, but he is sure of one thing. He will never leave Chanyeol.

He musters some courage and tiptoes. “Don’t miss me much, okay!” wraps his arms around the architect’s waist, and makes a quick escape. Let’s face it. Even with Baekhyun tiptoeing, he can’t still reach the tall man in front of him. Sad but true.  

Blinking, Chanyeol stares dumbfounded at the closing door. “Aish!” he rubs his messy locks with the palm of his hands, pulling them in frustration. “Baekhyun is just my roommate and he is... Baekhyun is a guy! Park Chanyeol, Baekhyun is a guy!”

❤❤❤

Baekhyun wanted to attend class. He really did, but as they were walking around campus, a store from afar caught his attention. He cursed under his breath when he saw his instructor walking past him.

School is very important. Chanyeol’s birthday is far way more important right now. Plus, Baekhyun already read the book that they are supposed to go over today’s lecture. He can quite recite the whole book in ago.

Which is why they are now standing inside the store, grinning like the idiots they are.

Everything is cool until Jongin sees a microphone and then a bunch of karaoke machines. – What is this? A sale! He bitterly rolls his eyes.

“Do you think that he will come?” Jongin searches for something nice to give to the architect, but he is just randomly picking stuff up.

“Who?” asks Baekhyun, oblivious to the annoyed look that sports Jongin.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin sighs and drops an ugly teddy bear. Who would create something that is supposed to be pretty, but looks ugly as hell? Then he remembers Kyungsoo. The vocal instructor is cute, handsome and all but is mean, cold and plain evil.

Jongin finds himself chuckling, holding onto the ugly plush.

It’s been long since he last received a text or call from Kyungsoo. Jongin seriously swears that Kyungsoo hates him from the moon and back, and that if they probably see each other again Kyungsoo would cast a malicious spell on him or something.  

The thought of Kyungsoo glaring at him with his huge doe-eyes makes Jongin smile. – I guess that is what I liked about him. Jongin grows annoyed.

“He must,” Baekhyun brings him out of his trance. “He is Chanyeol’s best friend after all. What can I possibly get Chanyeol?!” Baekhyun is all bothered by now. Choosing a gift is extremely complicated. What can Chanyeol possibly want when he probably has everything already? Baekhyun grows inpatient and nervous. “What can I get him?” he thinks out loud.

Jongin doesn’t say anything as he is still thinking about Kyungsoo. His best friend might be right. However, why would Kyungsoo attend a party where the guy that kissed him will also be around? Kyungsoo isn’t stupid, right? Jongin wishes Kyungsoo was. The elder showing up can mean multiple things – according to Jongin.

Kyungsoo is Chanyeol’s best friend hence why he must attend. Also, Jongin wants to believe – in his delusional and depressed mind – that Kyungsoo’s attendance will only mean that Kyungsoo accepts him. Then again, that is just Jongin’s hands holding tight on that “string of hope.”

But he is also not a dreamer. While it is good to dream, dreaming too much might disappoint you in the end. “I don’t know...”

He pulls his phone out and starts going over his text messages with Kyungsoo. It all happened so fast. It’s been a while but Jongin is starting to miss the feeling of Kyungsoo’s lips against his. Even if that feeling lasted less than a minute. Why couldn’t he contain himself? Why couldn’t he suppress the urge of kissing Kyungsoo? Why did he kiss him? Why did he even fall for Kyungsoo anyway?

Seriously, the ‘why’ are piling up!

“Would you mind, Jongin?” the dancer puts the phone away with a sulk. “We are searching for Chanyeol’s presents. Let’s stop the self-pity party and go on with our search.”

The whole liking someone subject kind of irritates Baekhyun. He is cursed, never forget that. Baekhyun should have never fallen for a straight man. Now he is force to live with this painful one-sided love. It’s no fun.

The thought of Chanyeol soon having to marry someone, because a CEO is always supposed to marry some elegant rich woman, makes things even harder to Baekhyun. – You are so unfair! He glares up at the supposed almighty up there. Though, he can only see a huge covered in lights ceiling.

Pathetic. Baekhyun deeply sighs.

He is happy despite everything. Baekhyun at least has Chanyeol’s friendship, which is why he would never do what Jongin did. But he isn’t blaming Jongin for his careless actions. Baekhyun had always like guys. Jongin just happened to like another man out of the blue. It things are very much confusing to Baekhyun then Jongin must be having a harder time.

Unfortunately, one does not have control over what the heart wants.

That is why the heart and mind never work well together. “Okay, we should really forget about that for now,” Baekhyun is right again.

It’s too early in the morning to turn all gloomy and depressed. They are also supposed to buy Chanyeol a birthday gift. “I know!” Baekhyun beams. “Why don’t you get Kyungsoo something, too?”

A very prominent frown forms on Jongin’s forehead. He would love to but what if that only complicates things even further. Kyungsoo obviously doesn’t like Jongin that way. Jongin did pretty much scare the crap out Kyungsoo – most likely. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

Baekhyun pouts, thinking that buying an apology gift wouldn’t be such a bad idea. “Just get him something small. An apology gift? I don’t think that you should apologize, though. Well, maybe for kissing him, yes. He should only feel flattered that a hot guy like you likes him. I know I would,”

“Even if I were to be straight, I wouldn’t mind a guy telling me that I am handsome or that they like me. It’s only telling me how good looking I am. Who doesn’t like to hear that, seriously...?” Baekhyun finishes with a roll of his eyes and a flapping of his invisible long hair.

Jongin laughs wholeheartedly. But most guys don’t think that way. They get offended and angry. Jongin can only imagine how offended Kyungsoo must have felt at the moment.

He sighs again.

“I really ed it up, Baekhyun. He most likely hates the crap out of me and I... I like him.” Baekhyun can hear him groaning, almost painfully.

❤❤❤

“He likes me... he doesn’t like me... he likes me...” Kyungsoo boringly plays with a rose, destroying it by removing the beautiful bloomed petals. It is something so uncharacteristic of him to be doing. “He doesn’t like me... ommo!” he lets go of the now destroyed rose with wide eyes. “He likes me...” and the last petal finally reaches the ground with the rest unfortunate ones.

He feels his cheeks growing warm. Very uncharacteristic of him but –with wide eyes –Kyungsoo touches his warm cheeks and blushes even deeper. “Jongin can’t like me. Can he?” he stares at the rose, frowning. It’s like if the now dead rose glares at him for his stubbornness.

A loud sigh escapes his lips follow by a throaty cry. Kyungsoo hates himself, really.

He is ordinary. There really isn’t anything special about him and people are mostly scared of him. It makes him wonder why Jongin even likes him. What about him attracted the young dancer? “Aish!” he groans, “I am...” and really there isn’t anything right now that he can think of. People usually refer to him as, “Squishy!” he bursts, dropping his tired body into the very expensive couch.

The sight of his phone catches his attention. Turning on his belly, Kyungsoo reaches out his longs arms and grabs the device from the small table.

He unlocks it, hesitantly opening his text messages.

All of them are from one person and one person only – Kim Jongin. Kyungsoo doesn’t talk to anyone but the young dancer or Chanyeol. That is because Kyungsoo doesn’t really like to text. He rather make calls then waste a couple of minutes typing something only to regret it, only that he can’t take it back then. But texting with Jongin is quite fun and entertaining. Kyungsoo found out that he doesn’t usually makes mistakes when texting with the tan idiot.

“What if...” Kyungsoo sits up straight on the couch, “What if I give him a chance?”

The thought of him finally dating someone really excites him. His stomach makes a twist. “Will Chanyeol...” Kyungsoo wants to like Jongin, not saying that he doesn’t already, but he is too scared.

He had always like Chanyeol and he still does. So, why is he even thinking about giving Jongin a chance? It wouldn’t be fair to him but, “Chanyeol doesn’t love me. Not that way and I know that.” he deeply sighs.

He can give love a chance. Not everything about love is done for him. Kyungsoo might be gay, but he can still have a chance in love. He at least has now someone that likes him that way. What else does he want? “Chanyeol, why can’t you love me?” first love is always painful, even when it ends in a happily ever after.

❤❤❤

Baekhyun wanted to go back to school but Jongin insisted that he was hungry. One can’t focus in school with an empty stomach. Touché. Reason enough to skip another hour of class. The two of them enter the café and are met with surprise looks coming from four very attractive men.

“Shouldn’t you two be at school?” Junmyeon asks with a questioning look.

But Jongin and Baekhyun shrug, bringing a laugh out of Taemin. “We went shopping instead.” Jongin drops his backpack on one of the couches.

“And you expect to graduate like that?” Yixing whacks the dancer’s head. “Don’t you want to be a dance instructor?” Jongin glares at the elder while rubbing his aching head, sulking. “I thought so. Now, why are you two skipping school?”

Baekhyun stares at his roommate, who also happens to be looking at him, and then at Yixing. “We were just... looking around.”

“Aww hyung!” Jongin whines, stands up from his seat and walks towards Taemin. The elder pats him in comfort. “Stop getting after us! We won’t do it again, but can we get something to eat? I am starving. Baekhyun wouldn’t let me buy some food because he was too busy searching for the idiot’s gif- ouww!”

Taemin and Yixing stare in horror at how harshly Baekhyun steps on Jongin’s foot. Baekhyun steps harder emitting a painful cry out of Jongin.

Yixing quickly goes and rescues his prodigy. “We are hungry.” Baekhyun smiles innocently at everyone, “Can you fix us something to eat?” Jongin hugs the living lights out of Yixing and glares at his best friend.

“You are cruel!” Yixing sooths the dancer’s back. But Baekhyun doesn’t feel remorseful at all. Jongin was about to spill everything out in front of Chanyeol. That would have been a disaster.

“Chansung,” Junmyeon calls out the architect.

It actually takes Chanyeol a full second to register that Junmyeon is talking to him. There are a lot of people after all at the café. “Can you fix them something to eat, please?”

That seems to brighten Baekhyun up. He looks up at his roommate, nodding with his huge rectangular smile. Chanyeol’s eyes widen for a split second. He accidently drops a rag that he was previously using to clean some tables. Thump, thump, thump. It’s the sound of his betraying heart.

Junmyeon raises a suspicious brow. – Why is he so nervous? And it is only him noticing it. Yixing and Taemin are taking care of the poor tan dancer. “Pleaseee, Yeol~” Baekhyun ends up using his ultimate aegyeo, causing Chanyeol to experience a nanosecond of shock and another wave of realization.

The architect almost trips as he tries to compose himself. “S-Sure.” and that is how Chanyeol rushes to the back, entering the kitchen and letting out a breath he surely knew he was holding.

Baekhyun beams. Junmyeon chuckles. Jongin rolls his eyes. Both Yixing and Taemin laugh. – You really are something, Byun Baekhyun. Junmyeon thinks as he smiles at Baekhyun.

Inside the kitchen, Chanyeol fans his raging face with both hands. He can literally hear the loud thumping coming from his heart. He continuously tells himself to get it together, to forget about the feelings invading him. He tells himself to not go there, that it isn’t normal but all warnings are useless.

Chanyeol already did and he is in deep.

Nothing about Baekhyun is the same. The architect can’t help but feel nervous, gooey and queer around the younger. It’s just very weird. Chanyeol had never experience such strong and odd feelings before. “I can’t...” he had never, really. “I can’t possibly like... him...”

Everything spins around him. The architect grabs onto the island, holding himself steady in place. He can’t believe his ears. What exactly did just come out of his mouth? Why would he even question himself that? Moreover, he can’t believe what he truly is feeling. The feelings are there and strong but why? How?

He really wants to take it back. Chanyeol wants to pretend like he didn’t just question himself that – him possibly liking Baekhyun. However, what change could denying it bring? One look at his smiling roommate and all doubts go away. What’s not to like about his roommate? The twenty-two year old man is cute, funny, smart, witty