There was a lot of name that was used to call me.

Jessica

Jung

Sooyeon

Sica

Jessie

Ice Princess

Sleepy Princess

Etc.

But my whole name was Sooyeon ‘Jessica’ Jung

And I was killed by my ex-girlfriend and friend Kwon Yuri.

Weird? I know. But I asked Yuri to kill me to be free.

Why

I’ll tell you, but first, you need to know how I lived.

When I was a toddler, I was kidnapped and locked away from the world. Brainwashed by the people who took me to be their army, those who oppose will be killed immediately, while those who agreed will be forced to throw their childhood away and start training diligently.

I chose to agree just to survive, but it became a routine when I grew up.

After 5 years of training, I was chosen to be one of those who can live outside the facility and be someone else.

I had no problem to be someone else back then. I threw my childhood away and too busy to figure out who I am with training and stuff.

Ironically, I was adopted by my own biological parent.

I discovered it when I was snooping around my dad’s stuff on his office.

Thus me, having a biological sister, Krystal.

They were part of the reason why I chose to end my life so others cannot touch them.

If I chose to leave and never comeback, other will hunt me and use my family to hurt me.

If I chose to tell them what I’ve become and things that I was involved to…….

I don’t know….

Their life will be endangered and it was all because of me.

I may choose to leave with them, but I don’t want them to be involved and to resent me on the life I chose.

I could choose to tell Yuri to take care of them, but…Yuri may agree to that. Taeyeon, Seohyun and Sooyoung too, but how about the others?

I was still a traitor and an enemy to others. The four do have authority over them, but I don’t want to risk anything for my family.

So I chose this.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the short years that I had lived, I met several people who loved and took care of me.

My Family, of course.

Believe it or not, Donghae

Yuri

And Taeyeon

Donghae…….was my first love.

He was not this cruel to me when we fell in love with each other. He was a caring guy, who took care of me and loves me with all his heart.

He always gave me extra food when I trained with other kids.

He also took care of my bruise and cuts when the training ended.

He also was the one who suggested to let me live outside the facility.

And with that I’m always great full to him, even if he changed a lot.

The first few years that I live outside the facility, Donghae and I dated, secretly.

Of course we did everything a boy and a girl could do. Eat ice cream, play on the playground. And all of it we call it a date.

Back then we’re happy, we both tried to catch up for what we missed inside the facility. Be child again.

And then things changed. Donghae move back inside the facility with his father, the general, while I was given my first assignment, Yuri.

I don’t know what happened, but when I saw Donghae again…….

He was not the boy I fell in love with.

Yuri……was my best love.

Don’t look at me like that.

I genuinely loved Yuri!

She was a perfect girlfriend.

But she’s not perfect for me.

I loved her.

I was in love with her.

But I was not made for her.

When I’m with her, it was pure bliss.

When I’m with her, I’m me

But when I’m with her, I know something is missing.

And then there was Taeyeon.

She was the love of my life. My soul mate

When I first saw her singing inside the music hall, I knew she was the one for me.

I was heartbroken when the mission on Yuri started.

And when she moved out from the school I was wrecked.

But when she came back, I decided to follow my heart and love the person I knew was meant to be with me forever.

And when I got her, I was in heaven.

When I’m with her, I’m complete.

And when I looked onto her eyes, I saw me and her sitting on a rocking chair, having tea, me holding her wrinkly hands, and we both have white hairs…….

Together, old and wrinkly, me, with a cane, her with and her double vision glasses.

But it was not going to happen.

Sadly

They said, when you’re dead, there was this place you can go and stay before you can go to the afterlife.

They said it was a place where you can see all thing you did when you are living.

Maybe that’s what’s happening to me right now.

Maybe I am standing on that place.

How can I go to the afterlife?

What should I do?

Would I be stuck here?

My life, when I’m living was running across me. The good, the bad, the ugly.

I can see it.

I can also see how my life was ended.

And it stopped.

It became all white.

There’s no ending nor beginning.

It was like I’m on a never ending room.

I closed my eye and thought of a place I would like to go.

Then I heard a sound of the waves.

I felt sand on my feet.

I felt the wind touches my skin.

Water that gently ran on my feet.

I opened my eyes and smile on the place I want to see.

The sun is setting.

“Glad to see you again. Thought you already moved on from this place”

I gasped when I saw the person who owns that voice.

She was sitting on a beach bench sipping a cold drink that looks like a martini.

She smile at me and patted the bench next to hers.

“Yuri?”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N:

Can someone tell me what satifaction a person can get when they hate someone?

Sorry it pisses me off when i saw hate messages from different fandoms on SNSD members instagram. Mostly from EXO fans and those SNSD haters that like to stir up controversies to put SNSD down.

How can they hate a person who they thought that person took away the man they like when actually, they did not own that man?

How can they hate a person who only did what they think the best for their group when actually, haters are not part of their group?

How can they hate a person and put them down when actually, they did nothing wrong to put the haters down?

The question is.

Why? 

Why they hate them when actually, They did nothing wrong to them?

Hating someone else does not mean they are greater person than the person they hate.

It actually means, you are not satisfied with yourself.

Soooo what satisfaction they can get when they hate someone?

Sorry Author A is rambling.

working on the next chapter.

This story is nearing to it's end.

message me for any suggestion?

Thanks!

Author A.