IF YOU only knew how much it hurt to sing I love you on stage while inside you are dying. I needed to force myself to smile, laugh but I actually wanted to cry. To cry from pain in my chest and the only way to vanish it away is alcohol. Alcohol fills wounds and scars on my heart.

Making of Lollipop at the studio(2008)

Tabi as always started to make us laugh with his funny dance moves while making some funny interjections. Of course all of us laughed at him.

''Let's go and have dinner all of us together'' Teddy oppa said after recording was done. We went out to eat at the nearest restaurant which is owned by my close friend Jo In Sung. He is also an really good actor. As we walked in we were welcomed by a really tasty fragrance. I jajangmyeon, my favorite dish. As we ate we started to talk about different kind of things. Most common topic is obviously music.

''2NE1's debut would be soon. I think we should find them a good style for their debut song'' Teddy oppa said.

''How about ballad?'' Youngbae suggested.

''I think it should be more fierce. Mhh… How about we mix Hip Hop with Pop. I think it would be interesting and we would have this kind of YG swag swag vibe'' I said.

''Chae can rap, Bom will sing the chorus and Minzy and I will share singing parts?'' I continued-

''I think it suonds awesome. What do you think Teddy?'' Kush asked with questioning look.

''You are the main producer, you decide'' Jiyong said.

''I really like the idea too but I'm still not really sure if we should give this 'badass' impression right away. I know that Hip Hop really suits our girls and it would be fun to do but are you sure girls you want to be called 'bad girls'?''Teddy asked us.

''i would love to be called the baddest remale since I am one and I'm pretty sure girls won't mind it too''

''I want to be the craziest female Seoul city ever had'' I said and made everyone laugh at it.

''Fine, let's do Hip Hop then''

So this is how we decided on genre of our debut song although our debut was still pretty far away. I'm pretty sure you want to know what was happpening between me and Mr. Kwon at that moment. Here is one of our memories together.

At some random park in Seoul

We are now sitting in a car. We are having one of thoe car-dates. It's fun and all but I still sometoímes need more than that but I understand that it's impossible since we don't want to get caught by paparazzi.

''Do you want to get out of the car and take a little walk?'' Ji asked and smiled at me.

''Are you sure we should go out together? I know it's night but still we can get caught. And now it's not the right time to talk about our relationship. And I'm pretty sure YG would be ma…'' I was stopped by Jiyong's sudden kiss. He pulled away and smiled while his forehead was leaning against m