IF YOU wanted to make me happy, why did you go away? You left me for her but wasn't I worth enough to keep? I know you love her I can see the pain in your eyes everytime you fight with her. It makes me sad seeing you like that. But it hurts me even more when you are happy, you smile but I wasn't the one who caused you to smile. Of course  you want to be happy. I don't want to be selfish. Please keep her with you, don't hurt her like you did with me. I feel like loser in this game. I'm complete loser. Sometimes I don't even want to live anymore. Will it help us both if I will go away, leave you and never come back?

New Year 2009-2010

It's been one month and a week since Big Bang left to Japan. I have been calling Jiyong almost everyday hen I had free time. Now it's the first New Year we are not spending together. It makes me sad thet we can't spend the night together.   Well it's seems like it will be girls night which is kinda pretty good thing.

''Happy New Year everyone!!!'' Bom shouted and hugged Minzy. Chae hugged me.

''Group hug'' I said and we hugged each other.

''Let's spend our lives together trough everything: bad and good'' Chae said. We started to eat and chat.

''I wonder what our boys are doing'' Bom suddenly said which made everyone quiet.

''Probably what we are doing right now'' Minzy said.

''It feels so wierd to spend New Year without them'' I said.

''Yep'' Chae agreed.

''I really miss them. Ughh… They still got three months before they will come back'' Bom said. I sighed. This seriously feels weird since we have always spent New Year together since our predebut days.

(2015)

Yeah. It was really weird. But then Bom became with an awesome idea of how to spend the night.

Back to now 2010

''Let's play Truth or Dare'' Bom said. We nodded. Bom took empty bottle and spun it. It pointed at Minzy.

''Truth or Dare?''

''Truth'' Minzy said.

''Do you like Se7en?'' Bom asked her. Minzy blushed.

''Tell us the truth'' I said and smirked.

''Yes, I like him''

''Oooohhhh!!!!'' We shouted happily. Minzy spun the bottle. It pointed at Chae.

''Truth or Dare?''

''Truth''

''Who is your favorite oppa in Big Bang?''

''Hmhmm… Jiyong oppa'' Chae said and it made me turn to look at her.

''I like him as friend, Dara'' She smiled and I smiled back at her. Chae spun the bottle and it pinted at me.

''Truth or Dare?''

''Truth''

''Would you kill Jiyong if he would cheat on you while he is in Japan?'' Chae asked me.

''Wait, what?!! Is he cheating on me?!''

''No. I said if he would''

''Of course I would kill him'' I said. My phone rang.

''It's Sajagmin'' I said and picked up.

''Yes''

''Sandar